Abhorrence
by Krilyn
Summary: Tensions between Naturals and Coordinators rise when a radical group on Earth uses Athrun as a pawn to gain financial backing from Orb. The situation only escalates when it becomes public knowledge that Athrun was involved in the Heliopolis Tragedy.
1. Anniversary

**Gundam Seed: Abhorrence**

Hi Everyone!

This is my first attempt at any sort of fanfiction so please be kind... and be warned. This story will get a little violent (a little?) Ok... perhaps quit a bit but I do not like to kill my characters so... um... keep that in mind while reading ok?

This story does in fact take place after Seed and Before Destiny since I have yet to see Destiny - but i want to so badly! I hope you enjoy the story and please review if you have the time. I always like hearing from you.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Seed or any references made to the series or that of Gundam Seed Destiny

Chapter #1: Anniversary

It was dark. The moon a pearl in the velvet sky painted with stars as diamonds. A soft wind pounded against the window of the hotel room, reminding her of that day's significance. It couldn't be forgotten. The sky was clear yet thick clouds of darkness engulfed the city on PLANT 07, making the air thick and heavy to breathe.

Inside, Cagalli lay quietly on her bed, eyes staring blankly at the bland ceiling above her. To her right she could hear the sound of water running as her assistant Athrun Zala ran himself a shower. The light peering out from beneath the bathroom door contrasted heavily with the pitch black of the main room, forcing Cagalli to avert her gaze to the left, out through the window.

It had been exactly 1 year to the day. It was almost too much to fathom. Shuddering slightly, Cagalli curled in on herself and closed her eyes. Why had she ever gotten involved with them? She should have known it would come back to haunt her. Not a day had passed without giving them a thought. But that was all it ever was, simply a passing thought of how they felt she had betrayed them.

With a heavy sigh, Cagalli shook her head. It wouldn't have mattered. She couldn't have morally done what they had asked her to do. Perhaps at one point she may have considered it but so much had changed since then. Athrun had come into her life and progress was being made to finally bring about true peace. She couldn't do it. Not to him and even though her conscious was clear, her utter betrayal had left her uneasy.

They had sworn they wouldn't forget her, that they would take matters into their own hands. She had the power and influence to make their ideals a reality … but somehow she couldn't bring herself to. All the mattered now was establishing a treaty between the coordinators and the naturals to end the bitter conflict that had already touched too many people. They had wanted to break bridges, not build them.

Cagalli shook her head. Never had she felt so unnerved. She had never forgotten their promise to her, that they would never cease in their efforts to exterminate the Coordinators. It was the one year anniversary of Heliopolis' destruction and the event had become a symbol of the ongoing difficulties between the two races. It was symbolic of the bitterness, the hatred and anger that had yet to dissipate.

Tensing, Cagalli heard that water stop running and could only assume that Athrun had finished his shower. She'd almost forgotten about him. Ever since the fighting had ceased and negotiations had begun, Athrun had chosen to remain by her side to help her in anyway he could. Of course, she was grateful but now, negotiations were moving from the PLANTS to the Earth and Cagalli was nervous about bringing Athrun to a place where the bitterness had not yet subsided. The upcoming assembly was being held in Helsinki, Finland… a place where many Heliopolis refugees had resided after the disaster.

Thinking back, past memories seemed to push their way into her mind, forcing her to relive that fateful day over and over again.

_"Listen Jibril," The young girl stumbled over her words, shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. Nervously she dug her hands in her jean pockets and tried her best not to stare at the floor despite the fact it had suddenly become very appealing. "I can't…do as you have requested."_

_The older mans' eyes narrowed as he eyed the youth carefully. Slowly, he rose from his desk and took a step towards the teen. His movements were slow, deliberately drawn out and with a mystifying and horrifying grace. "What do you mean you can't, Miss. Cagalli?"_

_Cagalli shivered, Jibril's words as dark as the room she found herself in. Their Head quarters had always been gloomy and dark but for some reason, today it seemed especially dreary. _

_Glancing to her left, Cagalli noticed other members of the band rising from their seats and those who were already standing had turned their attention to her. For a 16 year old, the whole ordeal was unsettling. "I understand your grief," She struggled to get the words out clearly. "I was there on Heliopolis when it happened and I appreciate your assistance in recovering my refugee shuttle."_

_"You don't think you can just leave the Blue Cosmos do you?" Jibril demanded, his face darkening. "Not after everything we have done for you. We are revolutionaries, fighting to transform this world into what it should be. You are the Princess of Orb. Join us and together we can destroy the Coordinators and make this world a better place for all Naturals."_

_Cagalli took an unconscious step back to distance herself from the gang leader. She could see the rage swelling behind those piercing blue eyes that were burning a hole right through her chest. Shaking her head, she inhaled deeply. _

_"It was mistake." She explained warily. "What is important now is that we find a way to end this war. Nobody wants to see any more violence. I must request that you do not take any aggressive actions that will hinder our negotiations with the coordinators at this time."_

_"I don't think you are in a position to make demands," Neo called from the corner and sneered. "You are a part of something… something you WILL NOT dismiss. You are a Natural!"_

_"I said I am leaving," Cagalli repeated and cautiously back-stepped towards the door. She knew better than to turn her back on these men. Especially Jibril and Neo – they were the worst of them all. "Good bye."_

_"This is not goodbye, Cagalli," Jibril snapped as the young girl as s he reached back and pulled the door open. "We'll be watching you. Go, have your fun but one day… you will hear from the Blue Cosmos again. One day, we will bring an end to the Coordinators with or without your help…that I can assure you."_

_Cagalli didn't answer as she scurried out the door. Why had she ever gotten involved with them? Of course she knew the answer. They had rescued her refugee ship after having escaped Heliopolis. After finding out who she was, the underground naturalist group sought to use her to make their ideals a reality. _

_As the war had progressed, she never heard from them again but the magnitude of their deeds heightened to a point that Cagalli heard regularly of their gorilla tactics against Coordinators in Finland. They wanted to overthrow the government and what frightened her was that they had the will to do so if only they had the means and resources._

_The cold of night came upon her with a vengeance as Callagi wrapped her arms around herself and hurried down the narrow streets of Helsinki. All she wanted was to get away and bury herself in her bed. She'd been dreading that confrontation but it had been inevitable. She could not leave them with false beliefs that she would side with them wanting revenge, retribution and the destruction of an entire race. No good would come of it._

_"Go, have your fun but one day… you will hear from the Blue Cosmos again. One day, we will bring an end to the Coordinators with or without your help…that I can assure you."_

_She shuddered, those words – they kept echoing in her mind. It was like she couldn't escape them. Running down the street she picked up her pace as if trying to get away from them._

_Running… running… running…_

"NO!" Cagalli's eyes flew open and she shot up like a rocket, panting and sweating as she struggled to breathe. Hunching over, she focused on inhaling and exhaling, gradually easing her rapidly beating heart.

Glancing around wildly, she released a sigh of relief as everything came back to her. She was at the hotel, in her room. Looking over through the window, she sighed. Judging by the way the sun's rays were streaming through the drapes, it was the earlier part of the morning.

"Just a dream," She reminded herself as she rubbed the sleet from her eyes. "Just a dream."

The last words, however, Jibril had spoken to her still were etched in the back of her mind. Over the past week, they had become more and more persistent and she had found herself much more edgy. She had actually snapped at Athrun at lunch yesterday for being five minutes late picking her up from a meeting with the PLANT representatives. Athrun had taken it graciously of course but she had never been so curt with her friend before.

"_Go, have your fun but one day… you will hear from the Blue Cosmos again. One day, we will bring an end to the Coordinators with or without your help…that I can assure you."_

Had Jibril meant it? Or had it been an emotional come back with no meaning? Cagalli didn't know but the threat of having the Blue Cosmos interfere with the relations between the two people was unnerving. They couldn't harm her directly but there were a lot of things that they could do to harm her indirectly. Her next assembly was in Helsinki and her concern was for the PLANT delicates who intended on being at that meeting. There were so many people who still hated Coordinators there and the presence of the Blue Cosmos could put their lives in danger.

There was no use in trying to get back to sleep. She had too much on her mind to settle into any sort of undisturbed slumber. Glancing over, she scowled. Beside her, in his own bed, was Athrun, sleeping soundly. His left leg and arm were both draped over the side of his bed and he had somehow managed to kick off most of his blankets. It was, however, that look of peace on Athrun's face that bothered her.

Why should he get to sleep when she could not? Something about it just didn't seem fair.

Without fully thinking clearly, she gave Athrun's bed a swift kick, jostling it roughly. "Athrun," She hissed and gave his bed another firm strike. "Wake up."

Nothing.

"Good grief," Cagalli shook her head in dismay. "He can sleep through anything."

Reaching over, she grabbed Athrun's shoulder and shook it continuously. She needed to get her mind off of the potential dangers awaiting her back in Finland. The problems of the past. Even if that meant having breakfast early and waking Athrun up then so be it. "Athrun, come on. Wake up already."

This time she got a low growl as the young Coordinator stretched and cracked an emerald eye part-way open. Still flopped over and tangled in a mass of sheets, Athrun muttered something before looking over at Cagalli who was eyeing him impatiently.

"Cagalli?" His voice was muffled as he spoke into his pillow and glanced over at the table clock on the desk between their beds. Reading the blurry numbers, he gasped. 5:47am.

"Ohhh," His eyes fell shut as he rolled over onto his other side, back facing Cagalli. "It's too early. Go back to bed."

"Our plane leaves for Helsinki at 9:30am," Cagalli reminded him, using it as an excuse. Sitting up she stretched her arms high above her head and shuddered. "We don't want to be rushed."

"Don't care," Athrun grumbled and reaching down, pulled a blanket over his head in defiance. "Want to sleep." He was so comfortable… too comfortable. Like a bird buried deep in its cozy, warm nest he couldn't bring himself to even raise his head.

"You don't want to miss our flight do you?"

"Don't have to be there until 8:00."

"At the latest. We are expected there around 7:30."

"Not going."

Cagalli's mouth dropped. "What do you mean you're not going?"

"Ask me again in an hour."

"I'm asking you now," Cagalli huffed and grabbing a pillow, threw it at the lump in the bed beside her. She smiled in content when the pillow struck the bump beneath the blankets and she heard a low moan. "You aren't going to Helsinki with me?"

"Leave me alone," Athrun growled hoarsely. "I want to sleep. It's not even six o'clock yet."

Cagalli sighed and shook her head. This was futile. Athrun just didn't do mornings. "Can we at least go downstairs and have breakfast?" She pleaded. She didn't want to go back to sleep. She didn't want to think about Niklas and what might happen to Athrun and herself should the Blue Cosmos discover who he was or rather, what he was. Not only was he a Coordinator but he had personally been involved in the Heliopolis Tragedy. Perhaps it would be best if Athrun simply didn't come…although he would never agree to that. "The restaurant won't be busy and the coffee should be fresh."

Athrun abruptly shot up from his bed, throwing the blanket from his head to his knees. Throwing Cagalli a fierce glare he snarled irritably. "Of course the restaurant won't be busy… no one is awake at this hour… nor should they be."

"Well we are," Cagalli pointed out as she gradually made her way out of bed. She couldn't help but snicker when she noticed that Athrun had a horrible case of 'bed head.' Reaching down, she picked out a pair of pants and a freshly pressed shirt from her suitcase and tossed them over her shoulder. "Tell you what. I'm going to take a quick shower and by then you should be ready to go."

Not really waiting for a response, Cagalli scampered off into the bathroom, vaguely hearing another despairing whine from her companion before she shut the door. Turning on the water, she slipped out of yesterday's clothes and into the shower. Athrun was always lethargic in the morning. Then again, as Cagalli soaped herself down, it occurred to her that Athrun wasn't an evening person either. In fact, the only time Athrun was actually fully alert was in the afternoon.

Cagalli let out a heavy sigh as she let her mind drift away from Jibril and theBlue Cosmos. Perhaps her worry was for nothing? Yet she couldn't be sure and it was that uneasiness that bothered her to no end.

After changing and freshening up, she opened the door and smiled lightly when she caught sight of her friend sitting on his bed, legs hanging over the side. Shirt un-tucked, blue hair uncombed and wearing two un-matching socks, it was hard for Cagalli not to laugh. She wasn't certain but he also thought she could see a pout slipping across her friend's features.

"Are you really going to go downstairs like that?"

Athrun yawned and shrugged. "Like what?"

"Look in the mirror."

"I'd rather not," Athrun snorted and with a low grunt, pushed himself to his feet. "C'mon, let's go."

Cagalli simply nodded and followed.

**TBC…**

I hope you liked it. Please review if you have the time. I know i will get this question so I may as well answer it now - I am not a morbid person lol. I just really like the whole 'hero goes through hell and comes out on top' stories.

Anyway, Take care and thanks for reading!

Krilyn


	2. Plans

Hi

He's the revised chapter two.

Enjoy!

-

D**isclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Seed or any references to it although I wish I did. I also don't own Gundam Seed Destiny either

-

**Chapter #2: The Making of Plans**

"Good morning," A slender, blonde waitress smiled as she approached their table in the hotel restaurant. Brightly, she handed both of them a breakfast menu while tossing Athrun a strange look. "And what can I get you to drink? Coffee? Tea?"

"I'll have a hot tea," Cagalli replied and glanced over at Athrun. "How bout you?"

"Huh? Oh, um, coffee is fine thanks." Athrun muttered, not even bothering to look up from the table.

The waitress nodded and quickly took her leave, promising to return with their drinks.

"Isn't this nice?" Cagalli asked, trying her best to justify waking Athrun up so early. "There is hardly anyone here and I bet the food is just being cooked as we speak."

Looking around Athrun nodded and shifted in his seat. The restaurant was indeed practically empty but at the moment… he couldn't help to think that his bed was also empty. "It's… fine." Was all he could come up with.

Cagalli sighed, silently hoping Athrun would forgive her for getting him up. She had known Athrun long enough to know that waking him up before 10am was a sin but at the same time, she needed to have someone to talk to. Someone to keep her mind off the trouble that was harassing her mind. Athrun was looking around absently yet it was clear that no intelligent thoughts were going through his brain. It was too early.

After what had seemed to be a long silence, Cagalli decided to take a chance and spoke up.

"So you said you aren't coming to the next assembly?" She asked as the waitress returned with their drinks. Accepting her tea graciously, she turned back to Athrun. "What are you running away or something?" She chuckled mildly at her own joke before taking a quick sip of tea.

"It's the Bloody Valentine Memorial this weekend," Athrun explained simply. His eyes seemed to clear from the fog he had been in as he locked eyes with Cagalli. Shrugging, he continued. "Since your assembly is on the neighboring PLANT, I figured I would go pay my respects… it's been about three months since I have done so."

"That's right…" Cagalli nodded. Her eyes widened as his words struck her like lightning. Looking over at Athrun, she couldn't help but cringe. He had misread their schedule… the assembly on PLANT 08 was after the one on earth. "Athrun… our next meeting is on earth."

Athrun blinked. "What?"

"Helsinki," Cagalli explained, averting her gaze to the table. "On Earth. You're one event ahead of schedule."

"Oh," Was all Athrun could say. Still groggy, he didn't really care at that point where he was going. "I guess I will just have to push my plans forward a bit."

Cagalli smiled weakly remembering how poorly she had treated him the night before, knowing it was his first time back on his home PLANT in almost a year. What was the matter with her? The last while, she had been neglecting everyone… all because of some threats made almost one year ago?

_Flashback_

_Cagalli could see Athrun silently scolding himself as he stepped out of the taxi and hurried over to where she'd been waiting on the sidewalk but that didn't seem to be enough. Without even realizing what she was doing, she turned on him and gave her friend a hard nudge. _

_Athrun's eyes met hers and Cagalli could see the frustration and embarrassment written all over his face._

_"What on earth is your problem?" Cagalli demanded. "You're late!"_

_"I'm sorry," Athrun muttered honestly and shook his head. "I was just visiting an old park I used to go to a lot when I was a kid. The taxi was late and I…"_

_"The other delegates are waiting for us and what do you think they will say if I were to show up almost ten minutes late? It's diplomatic gaffs like this that delay our negotiations."_

_Athrun frowned, unsure what to say. "Cagalli," He said slowly, confused. "The meeting isn't for another hour and is only three blocks away."_

_"Well just watch what you are doing," She snapped and stormed off into the taxi, leaving Athrun open-mouthed in shock and shame on the street._

Cagalli felt her shoulders sag as she thought about it. That had been completely unlike her. Athrun had been so excited about being home and she was pretty sure that her stupid outburst had dampened his spirits.

"Did you enjoy visiting all your old childhood sites yesterday? She asked.

"Yes," Athrun's response was truthful. "But a lot has changed."

"I see," Cagalli mumbled and, taking in a deep breath, looked him straight in the eye. "Athrun, about yesterday… I'm sorry."

At his friend's words, Athrun's head shot up and he stared at her in complete confusion before he realized what Cagalli meant. Frowning, he simply shook his head. "You were not at fault." He pointed out rather bluntly. "You have nothing to apologize for. You were right in what you said."

"No, it wasn't necessary," Cagalli started but Athrun waved her off.

"It doesn't matter now." He cut her off quickly and smiled. "You weren't late and that is all that is important. I won't make the same mistake in Helsinki… that is where we are going right?"

"Helsinki…" Cagalli thoughts drifted back to the place she had landed after Heliopolis. The people of the Blue Cosmos had been kind to her but that didn't mean she was willing to compromise her beliefs. She had left them and had refused to use her influence in Orb to help them in any way. Deep down, she wondered whether or not they really did remember her. She had heard reports on the news about terrorist attacks against Coordinators in Finland and could only wonder whether or not the Blue Cosmos had dissolved after the fighting had stopped and rather or not they continued to exist.

Dropping her head, she wondered whether or not she should even allow Athrun to accompany her. If she went there alone, then she wouldn't have to be worried about Athrun's life being in danger. Even if the Blue Cosmos no longer existed, people in that region held a strong resentment towards people like him. While she saw a kind-hearted and soft-spoken young man whose loyalty and devotion was almost unconditional, many would simply see a Coordinator. An enemy of the Naturals.

Athrun cocked his head slightly when he saw Cagalli lower and eyebrow and avert her gaze to her cup of tea. He recognized that look of deep thought on her face and leaning over the table, willed her to look at him.

"Cagalli?"

"Yes?"

"You're thinking… care to share your thoughts?"

"I was thinking about the meeting in Finland," She answered, truthfully. It wasn't a lie. Just because she was also thinking about an underground radical group she had once encountered was irrelevant. She didn't feel it was necessary to bring that up. Athrun didn't know nor did she want him to. Most likely he wouldn't understand and would probably insist on coming anyway. Athrun didn't share the same concern for his well-being that she did and would probably be more concerned about her when in fact he would be the one in danger. While she cared and respected her friend dearly, Athrun and she had led very different lives before meeting on that fateful day on the beach. She seriously doubted that Athrun would be able to relate to her situation.

"Ok…" Athrun prodded, his green eyes sparkling with curiosity. "What about it?"

"I was thinking about going alone."

"You mean to Helsinki?"

Cagalli nodded and sighed. "I've got some… loose ends that I need to tie up as well."

"Oh," Athrun seemed fully alert now as his eyes now shone with intense interest. Resting his elbows on the table, he sighed. "You're a very poor liar."

"What?" Cagalli straightened, her eyes narrowing. "I'm not lying!"

"Well I think you are." Athrun replied simply and leaned back in his chair.

"Shut up!"

"Shouting at me won't change my mind, you know." Athrun pointed out as a mischievous smile continued to spread across his face.

She stopped when she saw the look in Athrun's eyes. Those emerald orbs seemed to look right through her and into her soul and she felt her cheeks begin to burn. "There really are some things that I have to do while in Helsinki."

Athrun nodded and took a half-hearted sip of his coffee. The cobwebs were beginning to clear and he glanced over at the window. The sun was just beginning to rise and he couldn't help but smile softly to himself as his eyes moved back to Cagalli.

The suns rays danced upon Cagalli's golden hair and added a certain shine to her already rosy cheeks. She was beautiful and he found himself perfectly content simply staring at her. It had been worth being woken up to see the sun set upon her delicate features. "I suppose that would be interesting wouldn't it?"

Cagalli just laughed. "Not THAT interesting. It's just business. Nothing I'd get excited about."

"Of course not," Athrun replied with a hint of sarcasm. "You wouldn't lie to me if it was something really important would you?"

"Athrun!" Cagalli snapped, but all she received was his usual small and amused smirk that he often wore on his face while teasing her. That's what she liked so much about him. Athrun had refined his ability to criticize her to a fine art and she found that she could never stay angry at him regardless how often he poked fun at her.

Athrun just shrugged and began to stand. "Well, you should probably talk to your father before you leave – you know, let him know all that you plan on doing."

Cagalli eyed her friend carefully and mentally groaned when she saw Athrun quickly hide that childish look of fascination that reflected so clearly in his green eyes. Athrun wanted to come; she could read it all over his face.

_NO!_ Her mind screamed. _You CAN'T let him come. _

Yet there was that other voice was telling her that she should allow Athrun to come along. He had been faithful to her and if anything, she could use the company and once she dealt with her affaires, she could then give him a tour of the city. Athrun had never been there before and a part of her doubted that he had ever seen snow. Besides, it was more than likely that the Blue Cosmos had long since disappeared.

"You want to come don't you?"

"I don't want to get in your way," Athrun replied earnestly as he pushed his chair in. "I know I upset you yesterday so I can appreciate if you don't want me around while you're busy with your negotiations. I know how important they are to you and to everyone else. I only want to protect you, Cagalli. You know that, but if I'm only getting in your way then…"

"Don't be ridiculous," Cagalli chuckled as she got out of her chair and patted Athrun on the shoulder. "You are always in my way – nothing changes."

Athrun scrunched his nose up at Cagalli's words and shrugged. Looking up at her, he smiled brightly. "Shall we pack then?"

"Sure thing," Cagalli nodded and taking a deep breath, tried her best to look excited. It was hard though. She wondered about the Blue Cosmos and how people would take to Athrun. She wondered whether or not there even was a reason to be worried at all. Maybe the passage of time had healed their wounds and perhaps the people had come to see that Coordinators and Naturals were not so different after all.

TBC

Sorry to those who have started reading this already. I just decided I'd like to keep the story closer to the series.

Please review if you can I would love to hear from you, being a new author I need all the advice I can get.

Take care,

Krilyn


	3. Arrival and Encounter

Hi Everybody!

Another exam finished which means I can post another chapter! Hurray! Thanks again for reviewing. It's really nice to see that some of you are enjoying my story. Again, I'm new to fanfiction so please forgive me if I make a few mistakes.

Again, thank you so very, very, much.

Anyway, here's the third chapter. I hope you like it!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gundam Seed or any references to it.

**Gundam Wing: Abhorrence**

**Chapter #3: Arrival and Encounter**

It wasn't until Cagalli and Athrun had taken their seats and were in space on a flight destin for the Earth that Cagalli became extremely anxious. Sitting there, it finally dawned on her that she'd be entering a region that had once been dominated by extremists bent on the extermination of all the Coordinators. She shuttered as goose -bumps formed along her arms despite the fact that she was indeed sweating.

Glancing over, her jaw nearly dropped when she realized that Athrun had his head resting against the window with his eyes closed. He had managed to curl in on himself and was snoring softly. His bangs fell lightly over his eyes, making it difficult to see whether or not he was indeed asleep. Leaning over, Cagalli took a closer look and realized that he was in fact asleep.

Cagalli groaned and shook her head. Her father hadn't been too impressed when she explained to him the situation she had come across last time she had been in Helsinki. It wasn't the fact that she was returning to a place that held such strong, anti-coordinator sentiments that had concerned him rather it had been her decision to allow Athrun to go along with her. It had been selfish and she knew as much yet, glancing over at him, she realized that she needed him by her side. She wouldn't let anything happen to him… they had faced greater confrontations together than this and had managed. This would be no different.

"Athrun," She muttered and nudged him. "Come on, you have to stop doing this to me."

"Huh?" Athrun blinked a couple times, trying to focus before lifting his head up slightly. "What? Are we there already?"

"No," Cagalli replied. "But you fell asleep again."

"It's a nine hour flight," Athrun retorted and huffed. "You should probably catch a few winks before we arrive. Otherwise you will have jet leg."

Cagalli nodded but said nothing. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't let her eyes close in fear of suddenly waking up and finding the one she loved gone. The Blue Cosmos had been strong, stronger than anyone had ever given them credit for and if they were intent on carrying out their threats then she was certain that they most likely already knew about Athrun. It was hard not to. Athrun's father had been a powerful man… and a dangerous one. Athrun, however, had also made a name for himself through his numerous demonstrations of superior skill on the battlefield. With a sigh, she turned to face Athrun who had stretched back in his chair, gazing blankly out through the window.

Just watching, Cagalli couldn't help but feel as though someone in the heavens had smiled upon her by allowing her the gift of Athrun's friendship. From day one, his friendship had been unconditional and Athrun had offered it freely. Never had she had a friend she had come to care for or hold so dear and she couldn't help but feel if she had had such a friend growing up, she would have been much happier.

"Athrun?" She asked carefully and paused, taking a deep breath. "Can I ask you something?"

"You're going to ask me regardless of what I say," He laughed and grinned slightly. "What is it?"

"How did you ever become so close to Kira?"

Athrun drew back, surprised by her question. "I don't understand."

"My brother," Cagalli continued. "You are all so close. How do you manage?"

Athrun eyed her strangely. "I'd hardly consider friendship being some sort of bother. I guess the importance of my friends always was a first with my mother and those views were passed on to me." His expression saddened at the thought of his mother. Had it really been 3 years since he had lost her? Sometimes, it seemed like only yesterday he would run home expecting to find her there to greet him, to hug him and to tell him how proud she was of him just as she always had. She had been what had held their family together all those years and after her death; the family had all but dissolved.

Snapping out of her stupor, Athrun noticed the lost look in Cagalli's eyes. "You and your friends have parted ways," He observed, quietly.

Cagalli nodded. "The friends I had were never close. My family traveled around so much I never got to know anyone well enough to consider them a friend. I haven't spoken with any of them for about 2 years now. I send them a Christmas card every year but never bother to open the ones they send me. I never had a friend like you are to Kira."

"Hmmm," Athrun acknowledged her before frowning. "Why the sudden interest in friends?"

"No reason," Cagalli answered, perhaps too hesitantly but Athrun didn't push the issue and for that, Cagalli was grateful. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Athrun and Kira were probably closer than she and her brother ever would be. She remembered the day after Athrun had self-detonated while attempting to kill Kira and the tears that had followed. She had cried for lost ones many times but never with such emotion as she had witnessed while watching Athrun's tears fall. The threat of the Blue Cosmos had made her much more aware recently about had important the people she cared about were. She, a Natural, had fallen in love with a Coordinator. An individual whom many still believed was dangerous. Perhaps at one point she may have agreed but every time she looked at Athrun, she was reminded of how few differences there were between them. Drinking in the sight of him renewed her determination to find a way to end the conflict between their people so that they too could live in peace and happiness.

"Does this trip have something to do you with some friends of yours?" Athrun asked, suddenly regretting wanting to come. Perhaps, this was a trip Cagalli should be taking alone after all.

"Not really," Cagalli confessed. "Don't worry about it, Athrun."

Athrun nodded, a soft, understanding smile splitting his lips. "I understand. I never told you this but Kira was probably the only real friend I had growing up. My father…well… to put it simply, the name 'Zala' scared a lot of people. I had trouble making friends as well."

"Oh?" Cagalli raised an eyebrow. "I find that hard to imagine."

"You can interpret it any way you want," Athrun replied and shifted his chair. "Didn't you ever wonder why I became so could at building little mechanical toys?"

"You did that…" Cagalli couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Because you were lonely?"

Athrun blushed and looked away. "I suppose you could say it was something like that."

"I guess even the _great Athrun Zala_ had problems," Cagalli rolled her eyes sarcastically and smirked. "Imagine that." It wasn't meant to be rude and judging by the way Athrun simply shrugged it off, he hadn't taken any offense.

"I'm going to rest for a while," Athrun announced and shifted in his seat to get comfortable. Before closing his eyes though, he threw Cagalli a playful yet warning glare. "Do not wake me up this time. Unless the ship is going to crash, I don't want to be disturbed."

"I suppose I should do the same." Cagalli muttered and sighed. She watched in envy as Athrun so easily closed his eyes and drifted off into oblivion. If only she could do the same, however, each time she closed her eyes she could see Jibril and his associates reaching out for her, mocking her and taunting her.

Yet, as time pushed on, Cagalli felt her eyelids slowly going heavy regardless of how hard she tried to keep them open. Releasing a deep breath, she let herself gradually join the world of the unconscious.

Sleep wouldn't be kind to her as nightmares plagued her mind. They swarmed about her, drowning her. She could see Jibril's face cruelly taunting her as she kept on hearing threats against her friends and even her brother echoing in her mind.

Cagalli suddenly jerked awake, wildly swinging her arms out in defense against an unseen enemy. Her left fist struck something hard and she heard a sharp yelp, pulling her out of the world that lied between conscious and unconscious.

Looking around, she grimaced when she noticed that Athrun had his hand raised to his cheekbone and was massaging it gingerly. He looked somewhat dazed before shaking his head slightly.

"Athrun?"

The look she received made her want to dig a hole and bury herself. Athrun's cheek was already starting to bruise and his eyes were smoldering with fire. Shifting, he glowered at her irritably. The blow had caught him off guard and had immediately wrenched him out of his peaceful slumber.

"Is the ship about to crash?" He demanded darkly, his words buried in malicious sarcasm.

"No." Cagalli muttered and slumped in her chair, her shoulders hunching foreword. "I'm sorry…"

Six hours later, Cagalli found herself hypnotized as suitcase after suitcase drifted past her on the conveyer belt at the Helsinki docking bay. Fighting to keep from being pushed aside in the crowd, she struggled to look over the heads of those in front of her, searching for her belongings. Around her, people were busy scrambling, rushing about either trying to catch a flight or get on with their lives after landing.

"Hey Cagalli!" The sound of Athrun's voice was sharp and Cagalli winced as she snapped out of her stupor.

Turning, she acknowledged him as he came rushing over, his eyes sparkling brightly with his carry bag swung over his shoulder. Her eyes moved to the people around him as he moved past them and noticed the strange looks he was receiving. Athrun seemed completely oblivious to them but Cagalli knew better. He had grown accustomed to facing hostility and suspicion. How people could sense he was a Coordinator escaped Cagalli but she guessed that the strong aura of confidence the radiated from his very being put others on edge. It had done the same to her… until she became more familiar with him.

As he approached, Cagalli recognized that unmistakable grin on his face – the grin that only appeared after Athrun was certain he had found a bargain. Her eyes dropped to the bag in Athrun's hand. "What did you buy?"

Athrun smiled slightly as he dug his hand deep into the bag and pulled out a small, portable book. His smile only widened as he showed it to Cagalli.

Staring at it, her lip twitched as she tried to contain a soft chuckle. The book was blue and white and in bold letters, it read – "Conversational Finnish for Foreign Tourists."

She frowned, looking up strangely at Athrun who was now busy reading through it. He seemed so intent, so focused on what he was doing it was almost amusing. She found Athrun's attempts to learn and respect the culture flattering and she chuckled as she thought about the last time she brought Athrun with her to France during a political assembly.

"With this I'll be able to get around without a problem," Athrun explained. "And I won't make the same mistake as last time."

Cagalli raised an eyebrow. "You mean when you called the Prime Minister's wife's cooking and I quote, 'the best French dirt you had ever tasted in France?"

"Ummm, that would be the one." Athrun felt his face flush at the memory. Flipping through a few pages, his eyes moved wildly as he tried to form a sentence. "Listen to this. Hei munin nimi on Athrun. Olla ulkomaalainen." _My name is Athrun. I am a foreigner._

Cagalli shook her head and shrugged. "I don't know how much use that book is going to be though – People here don't really use the word ulkomallainen very often."

"But how do I sound?" Athrun pressed.

"Like a foreigner choking on his words."

"It was only four earth dollars," Athrun shrugged, suddenly feeling the need to justify his purchase. "I thought it was a great deal."

"There was probably a reason it was only four dollars…" Cagalli stopped short as a figure in the corner caught her attention. Although his face was concealed, Cagalli could tell that he or she was looking directly at her. For a moment, she froze, unable to take her eyes off of them. Shivers wracked her spine and she shuddered – the Blue Cosmos…they were here. Eyes wide, Cagalli put her hands on Athrun's shoulders and carefully pushed past him, hiding him as best she could from the strangers view.

"Cagalli?" Athrun asked, noticing she had suddenly gone quiet. Startled, he looked up at her confused. He could sense the fear radiating off of her and his expression hardened as he tensed. "Is something wrong?"

"No…"Cagalli's voice trailed off as she reached over and pulled her suitcase off the conveyer belt without really thinking. Her heart suddenly seemed to quicken as she grabbed Athrun's wrist with her free hand and pulled him behind along as she hurried through the crowds, hoping to loose herself.

"What are you doing?" Athrun demanded as he struggled to keep pace with Cagalli. "Where are we going?"

"I need to deal with some stuff at the police station," Cagalli replied sharply and gave Athrun a hard yank to make him move a little faster. She was certain that the Blue Cosmos had come after her… or worse. She had to inform the police. "It shouldn't take long – it's just down the road."

Athrun just nodded like a bobble head while allowing himself to be dragged along like a rag doll. As Cagalli urgently pushed him along, Athrun could feel his bag sliding down his shoulder and flailing back, he just barely managed to catch it. The world spun in circles as Cagalli pressed on, rushing through the Airport exit, dragging Athrun behind her.

What's wrong with her? Athrun thought to himself, bewildered by her exhausting actions. As he was pulled into the main street, he grimaced at the sun's bright light. They had come out of the back of the airport… something that he was certain Cagalli had planned and he gasped at just how narrow the roads were. The second thing he noticed was the slight chill that had suddenly embraced him and he shivered ever so slightly, wishing Cagalli would release him so that he could button up his coat.

"C-Cagalli…" Athrun tried to reach her but it seemed nearly hopeless. He could see Cagalli's eyes had narrowed in a look of determination. There would be no reasoning with her. "S – stop…"

"Sorry Athrun, I'm in a rush," Cagalli muttered as her eyes searched for the little police station that she knew was only two blocks away. The air was chilled and icy shivers wracked her spine. Glancing behind her, she checked to make sure they hadn't been followed, nervous sweat trickling down her brow.

"What is going on?" Athrun asked again, his voice becoming more desperate and uncertain. Something was wrong, something about Cagalli's voice, the way her words seemed to stumble out awkwardly – she was lying to him. "Are you is some sort of trouble?"

This time he didn't even receive an answer. Instead, Cagalli just hauled him in tow. Athrun sighed and gave up, there was little he could do except follow. Cagalli was his only real mode of communication and direction. He didn't know where he was nor did he have the language skills to really ask.

Athrun phased out for a while and let himself be blindly guided by the young diplomat. He wondered how things were going with Kira and Lacus… he had hoped to visit them while he and Cagalli had been on the PLANTS. Unfortunately, the timing just hadn't been right.

Suddenly, Cagalli stopped and looking up, Athrun could only guess that the little building before them was the police station. It was small and the white brick made it difficult amongst the mountains of snow that seemed to surround them. Staring at the white blanket that seemed to cover the world, Athrun's eyes widened. Never had the world been painted with white during his life in space and he found himself fascinated by it.

"Ok," Cagalli put both hands on Athrun's shoulders and forced him to look her in the eye. Gazing up at the him, she spoke slowly and carefully. "I want you to stay here. Do not leave the view of the window. I should only be a moment."

Athrun frowned. "Why can't I go in?"

"Because… it's a personal matter," Cagalli replied and inwardly grimaced when she saw the hurt in Athrun's eyes. She had no choice though – it was better this way. Many people still held a deeply rooting resentment towards Coordinators and Athrun's presence could make having the Blue Cosmos arrested even more difficult.

Athrun sighed and slumped against the window. "It's because I am a Coordinator isn't it? Fine, go." He muttered lowly. He had forgotten how secretive Cagalli could be and it was starting to bother him. After almost a year together, he felt he deserved a bit of trust… perhaps he was expecting too much. On the other hand, for Cagalli to simply tell him '_it was a personal matter,'_ made Athrun suddenly feel as though he was nothing but a stranger to her.

Eyes on the ground, Athrun didn't even bother looking up as he heard the door to the police department close behind her as she entered. Shivering lightly, he set his bags down and rubbed his arms to try and remove the irritating chill. A gentle breeze caressed his cheeks, turning them a rosy pink and the snow that had managed to get into his boots was melting, numbing his toes.

"_I was spoiled during my time in space" _Athrun thought to himself as he tensed to try and keep warm. The PLANTS had an unchanging weather system. Being raised under relatively unchanging conditions, he had not yet become costume to the weather dynamics of the earth and he certainly didn't like the cold. It often left him feeling empty and alone as the snow seemingly sucked the color and life from the world and left it bare.

That's how he felt sometimes during these so-called peace negotiations. He wasn't stupid. He saw the way the Naturals would look at him in disgust and although he bit back his frustration, it didn't change the shame he sometimes felt. He wasn't sure why he felt that way but he did and that troubled him. Why should he feel any sort of regret about being what he was?

Risking a peek into the window, he watched as Cagalli took his place in the line up to speak to the secretary. She looked anxious for her eyes were darting around madly as though she was expecting the roof to come crashing down on her.

Cagalli's behavior bothered him and it bothered him even more to know he was powerless against it. Whatever it was that Cagalli had to deal with, she clearly didn't want Athrun to know or be involved – otherwise she would have been upfront with him about what she had to attend to with the police.

Leaning against the frosted window, Athrun noticed out of the corner of his eye a strange shadow at the café across the street. Ever since his initial encounter with Cagalli, he had become extremely conscious of such figures. His mind immediately warned him to keep his guard up as he carefully surveyed the people around him.

No one seemed to be paying him any mind yet at the same time, he noticed that three or four other men dressed in distinctive black coats had managed to make their way into the crowds. Normally, he wouldn't have paid them any mind but they weren't moving. Instead, they just continued to linger in the area, darting in and out between people and every now and then they would throw him a quick glance before quickly turning away.

It made him uneasy and Athrun silently urged Cagalli to hurry. He peered through the window a second time and mentally groaned when he saw that she was still waiting in the lineup.

Sweat began to pour from his forehead, chilling him further and he could feel his heart beating loudly as the hair on the back of his neck stood at end. Something was wrong. If he hadn't been aware of it before, he was now.

One man in black slowly crossed the street and made his way towards him, his face concealed by a large hat that draped over his forehead. Athrun exhaled and breathed in deeply, trying to calm his nerves. Turning his head, he pretended not to see the man, hoping that he would just pass by as any regular person would and all his worries had been for nothing.

It didn't happen.

Athrun gasped more in surprise than pain as a hand suddenly lashed out and locked around his left wrist like iron. His head shot up in alarm and he instantly became aware of just how large this man really was. Vaguely, thoughts of his deceased father came to mind, causing him to shudder internally.

Acting on instinct, Athrun brought up his free hand and, trapping the strangers hand in his, he gave it a firm twist. It had been an old trick his father had taught him as a youth, or to be more accurate, had used on him, and it proved its weight in gold as the man cried out, releasing him.

Athrun staggered back, startled by how quickly he'd been able to free himself. Scrambling, his eyes darted through the window to Cagalli, his mind racing. Even though he had said he would stay outside, he knew that safety lied just beyond the doors to the station. He didn't want to create a scene.

The man followed Athrun's eyes and when he caught sight of Cagalli, his own eyes widened with recognition.

Athrun didn't waste time as he lunged for the door but a pair of rough hands snagged his shoulders and flung him backward. Unprepared, Athrun landed gracelessly on the sidewalk, dazed. His head was spinning, his heart racing. Looking up, his expression darkened as he realized that it had been the stranger who had just sent him to the ground.

_"This is the one!"_ The Stranger declared and turned to the other men who Athrun had been watching earlier. "_Jibril! Sting! Otto! Atso!"_

"_I see him Neo!"_

Athrun didn't understand a word of it but he felt a lump in his throat form as he saw the other men gradually coming towards him. Unsteady, he tried to get to his feet but the ice beneath his boots hindered his movements.

"What the…"started but his cry was cut short as the man referred to as Neo grabbed him by the collar of his coat and rammed him up against the window of the office. It rattled loudly but didn't break. It did, however, take the wind right out of the young man and Athrun had to grit his teeth against the pain surging through his back.

From inside, Cagalli heard a loud bang and, spun around to see what was happening outside. She gasped in horror at what she saw. Someone had Athrun pinned against the window and immediately recognizing the black coats, her fear heightened. It was the Blue Cosmos– they had found him… found them…

"Athrun!" She cried and desperately pushed to get out of the line. "Athrun!"

Pinned, Athrun cracked an eye open and grimly realized that Jibril and Otto had caught up with Neo and now had the door securely blocked. He couldn't reach Cagalli nor could he hear her calling to him.

_I should have never come…Cagalli was hiding something from me and I have a feeling I have just been dragged into it._ The realization was a painful one as Athrun struggled to free himself. Bringing up an elbow, Athrun slammed it into the larger man's midsection and mentally grinned when he heard a loud grunt and felt the grip on his coat loosen. Regrettably, it didn't completely release.

Driven by desperation, Athrun quickly wiggled out of his coat. Suddenly thankful that he hadn't had the chance to button it up, he dropped to his knees and rolled out from Neo's grasp.

His success was short lived though as he felt a presence coming from behind. Franticly, he sprang up and to the left to avoid being struck from the rear. Eyes narrowed in fear and heightened determination, Athrun scuttled to his feet and did the only thing he felt he could – he ran.

**TBC.**

I hope you liked it. crosses fingers. If not, please let me know what I can do to make it better. I haven't seen Destiny yet so I'm basing my depiction of those characters on stuff I have read lol. Can't wait for it to come to Canada!

**Justsome1:** I'll see what I can do about making Cagalli and Athrun more realistic

**cricketchick1990** Thanks for the advice!

**daisukiasu'n'caga**** and Cari-Akira:** Thank you for being my first reviewers! You're all great!

Anywayz, have a good weekend everyone and please review if you have the time!

Until next time,

Krilyn


	4. Flight and Capture

Hi!

I'm so excited! It's Friday and a holiday! Regrettably, I am going to be away for a few days so I won't have a chance to post for a while. Here is the fourth chapter – I hope you like it. It was really hard to write. Thank you for all of you who took the time to review! Happy Easter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny or any references made to either. (I'm still waiting to see Destiny lol)

**Gundam Seed: Abhorrence**

**Chapter #4: Flight and Capture**

Everything seemed to transform into a blur as Athrun tore down the street, struggling to maneuver through the crowds while casting the odd, frantic glance over his shoulder only to see his pursuers close on his heels. Catching the murderous glint in Neo's eyes, Athrun gritted his teeth and pushed himself on. Stamina normally wasn't a problem for him but he found the ground slippery beneath his boots, impeding his movements dramatically.

Skidding, he darted around a corner, completely oblivious to where he was going and raced down the empty ally as quickly as his feet would permit. Sweat gathered on his brow as his heart pounded against his chest. Shaking his head, he desperately looked from left to right, wondering which way to turn, which way to go.

"Oh Cagalli," He mentally groaned softly. "Why didn't tell me you were in trouble?"

As he fled, his mind suddenly picked up on something and he moaned despairingly, cursing himself and his appearance. His green eyes and dark, blue hair could be seen meters way due to the fact almost everyone around him was blonde and blue-eyed. He wouldn't be able to loose himself easily amongst the vast numbers of people surrounding him.

Athrun was a good runner, heck, he was a great runner… however, jet leg and weariness were beginning to creep up upon him and, after a while, he could feel his limbs stiffen as he unintentionally began to slow down. He couldn't keep the pace and the need to rest was becoming painfully overwhelming.

Glancing to his left, a flare of hope ignited from within his soul as he caught sight of a small patch of brush just a few meters past the end of the alleyway. His eyes flashed with recognition as his thoughts fell back to growing up in the PLANTS. His parents would always take him camping in the thick forests … he felt almost just as at home in the trees as he did in mobile suits. Without a second thought, he made a move towards the small forest. Perhaps it was a park, perhaps it was a conservation area – at this point he didn't care. The ever-green trees would provide the perfect cover.

Running, he was dimly aware that he couldn't hear the sounds of his pursuers and could only guess that he had managed to put some distance between them. He reached up and without loosing any momentum, grabbed a low branch and pulled himself up into the concealment of the mighty pine tree. He winced as the branches scrapped roughly against his skin but too much of his energy was being spent just climbing to a higher and safer level to really pay it any attention.

Panting hard, he perched himself on a firm branch and, after assuring himself that it wouldn't snap, he held onto the trunk of the tree. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the cold bark, breathing deeply and trying to slow his rapidly beating heart.

Why were these people after him? What did he have? What was it that Neo had seen in him before calling to his associates? Athrun shuddered and let his limbs go limp for a moment. Was it because he was a Coordinator? Was that the only cause they had for pursuing him like this?

_"He couldn't have gone far. Keep looking…"_

Athrun's ears perked at the sound of voices and he inhaled sharply as panic kicked into his system. They were right beneath him. He could hear them, he could feel their presence just inches from where he sat, clutching tightly to the tree for dear life.

"You better show yourself now," Another voice warned and to Athrun's surprise the owner of the second voice had spoken in English! One of them was bilingual.

Crouched low on the branch, Athrun remained motionless save for the wafting kiss of the breeze stirring his dark hair. It wasn't just the one man that Athrun was afraid of rather it was the group of men that were on his trail for reasons that simply escaped him.

He could hear talking though he understood little. In fact, all he did understand were the words "Coordinator" and "Cagalli" that seemed to make their way into the conversation.

Holding his breath, Athrun waited patiently until he was certain that the group had moved on. He couldn't see them but he could hear their angered voices becoming more and more distant. Even after he was sure that the group had moved on, he waited a few extra minutes that seemed like hours before dropping lightly to the ground and taking flight once more. He had to get away from here. He had to get back to Cagalli. She was the only one who could explain to him what on earth was going on. Surely, she had to know.

Athrun's swift legs moved with urgent speed, faster than usual, knowing that his enemies were near. Shaking his head, he was beginning to loose what little sense of direction he had had. When he heard, however, the loud whiz of an object coming near him, he dodged right only to see a sharp knife whiz past his head. Gasping at the idea of what could have been, Athrun stumbled, throwing a startled gaze over his shoulder only to see four large men a few yards away.

"_Stop him!"_ The cry was raised and Athrun forced himself to move faster. He preferred flight over battle when the odds were so overwhelmingly against him.

Three men stepped out from the trees ahead of him but Athrun, driven by desperation, was one step ahead of them. Catching a tree limb above his head, Athrun swung up and kicked one of the men in the chest, knocking him back into his companions. Landing sure-footed like a wildcat on the ground, Athrun took little time to admire what he had done before back-stepping to his right and retreating once more.

The men, unfortunately, had strategically circled him, leaving no opening for a frantic escape attempt. Athrun staggered slightly as he skidded to a stop and double backed to put some distance between himself and the men that were quickly closing in on him. Things were becoming more perilous by the second and escape was beginning to look bleak.

Neo was the first to strike, lunging forward in an attempt to pull Athrun's legs out from under him. Athrun didn't stop to think as he grabbed hold of the same limb he had earlier and heaved himself up into the tree, narrowly escaping the clutches of the larger man.

Neo's eyes flashed in growing fury as he tried once more to grab Athrun but he was already out of reach. In the tree, Athrun strained to pull himself upwards and chanced a quick glance downward. A sick feeling formed in his stomach as he grimly realized that he was trapped.

Otto smirked, his face molding into a twisted satisfaction as he pointed up towards the tree and picked up a stone from the snowy ground. He then began barking out orders to his men. _"Let's bring this squirrel down!"_

Athrun fought frenziedly with his slippery grip on the truck of the tree. Unlike the one he had taken refuge in earlier, the branches were weak and snapped the moment he put any weight on them thus he was practically hanging off the trunk, feet dangling and helpless.

A surprised grunt escaped his lips as something slammed into his side. Athrun readjusted his hold on the tree and fought to hang on. Immediately, he could feel pain congregating in his kidneys from where he had been struck and narrowed his eyes in an attempt to focus on the task at hand. Another object struck his shoulder, throwing his upper body slightly forward as another struck his thigh and another smacked into his back. Athrun bit his tongue and turned his head sharply to avoid being struck in the face by a rock. Soon, his entire body was being pelted with stones and he groaned softly under the assault. Tightening his grip, Athrun hear a loud thud.

"Blast it…" He ground out between clinched teeth as he noticed Neo take hold of the tree trunk and begin to hoist himself up after him. Scrambling, Athrun began to heave his own body up further, knowing full well that there was only so high he could go. His entire mind screamed danger and it nearly caused him to let go when he felt a powerful hand wrap around his left ankle and pull. A choked gasp escaped his lips as he felt himself slide downward a few inches before he regained his hold.

Looking down with eyes wide, his heart stopped when he saw that Neo had taken hold of him with one hand while holding onto the tree trunk with the other. Hugging the tree with one arm, Athrun reached upward and took hold of a branch that seemed stronger then the ones below him. With his free foot, he pounded down on the other's head as hard as he could; trying to free himself from Neo's firm grasp.

He could feel the man's grip slipping but his success was short lived. Another rock came soaring out of nowhere and struck the side of his head, stunning him. A sudden, shocking burst of agony flooded his perceptions with a haze of pain and he accidentally released his hold on the tree. Everything seemed to play out in slow motion after that. In that same moment, Neo fell from the tree, pulling Athrun down with him.

Athrun tried to catch himself as he fell but the tangle of hands grabbing and clutching at him threw off his balance and hampered his attempt. He twisted away as he slammed into the ground on his hands and knees, landing more heavily on his left side than right. Athrun was given no time to collect himself though. Before he had even finished hitting the ground, one of the men brought down a heavy fist violently across the back of the younger man's skull.

Athrun crumpled forward to the ground, dazed by the powerful impact. Two more equally vicious blows rendered the stunned youth unconscious.

Neo looked darkly at Athrun's unmoving form until he was assured that the prisoner was out cold. "_Good,"_ He grunted as the unresponsive young man was bound and hefted up between to of his men, before pulling out his cell phone and making a call. After a few moments, he turned it off and turned to his men. "_Take him back to the den."_

"ATHRUN! NO!" Cagalli cried, running out into the streets desperately. Her heart raced as panic quickly made rational thinking impossible. Horrible images forced their way into her mind and there was little she could do to fend against them. What would they do to him? Why had she let Athrun come?

She felt the blood drain from her face as a horrid chill swept through her. Athrun was a Coordinator… if the Blue Cosmos had him….

Spinning on her heels, she was about to return to the police station to report Athrun's kidnapping when she heard someone call her name. Her entire body froze as her expression darkened. The anger radiating off her body was so intense that it could have melted every snowflake in the country.

"Going back to the police?"

It was Jibril.

The older man approached from the corner of an ally, smiling knowingly and shaking his head in twisted amusement. "If you value the life of your friend you shouldn't do that. Besides, do you think the authorities will care about one lousy Coordinator?"

Cagalli's eyes narrowed but behind that flaring and blazing rage was an intense fear… an intense fear for Athrun's life. She knew that Jibril wasn't bluffing and it frightened her. "Athrun has done nothing to you," She sneered. "Let him go!"

"Athrun?" Jibril cocked his head as if considering her words thoughtfully. "Is that his name?" He fired her a malicious grin. "It suits him."

"I said let him go!" Cagalli shouted and grabbed Jibril by the collar. "Right now!"

"That depends on how co-operative you are willing to be," Jibril replied simply. "Nice guy that friend of yours is… put up quite the fight… so I was told."

"What do you want?" Cagalli growled, frustrated by her helplessness. Letting go of Jibril, she felt her entire body tremble as she fought to contain her anger. She shouldn't have asked Athrun to come. This was entirely her fault… if anything happened to him… it would be her entire fault. Although deep down she knew that regardless of what she said, Athrun would have come.

"Walk with me, talk with me" Jibril grinned evilly as he motioned for Cagalli to follow and much to her horror and disbelief, she found herself obeying.

**TBC…**

Another chapter finished. Are my chapters too long? Too short? Is there anything I could add to make my story better? Kira and Lacus will be arriving shortly as will Dearka and Yzak so don't worry – I haven't forgotten about them. I do appreciate your feed back though. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter – won't let me get to them right now but I can see they are there. Lol.

I hope you enjoyed it!

Until next time,

Krilyn


	5. The Deal

Hello again!

Sorry it took me so long to update – I had three major exams to deal with but now I'm free to write as I please. Thanks to all of you who took the time to review. It means a lot to me.

Oh my! I decided to treat myself and rented the first five episodes of Gundam Seed Destiny… Whoa… Athrun certainly changed but I still like him. He seems very mature - sighs I can't wait to see the rest of the series! I really like Shinn too... though he seems extremely irrational. Anyway, enough blather from me. Here is the next chapter – I hope you enjoy and please review!

**Disclaimer:**I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any references made to either series.

**Abhorrence**

**Chapter #5: The Deal**

Cagalli followed in silence as Jibril led her down a narrow alleyway, further and further from the crowds and into the darker parts of the city. From her time there during the war, she knew them well. Much as she would hate to admit it. As she stared at the older man, she felt her blood boil as the image of Athrun being held up against the glass window flashed in her mind over and over again. Athrun… the one she held most dear… perhaps the kindest, most thoughtful person she had ever met was now in the center of a mess that she had accidentally caused almost one year ago.

"So it has been quit a while hasn't it Cagalli?" Jibril made light conversation as though nothing was wrong. "An entire year? You've been quit successful so I have heard. Congradulations."

Cagalli just grunted.

"I'd have thought that you would have settled down by now," Jibril continued as he opened a door to a dreary, worn-down pub. Even though the windows were cracked and the door was broken, the place was still in business and Cagalli could hear harsh and crude voices coming from inside. The thick horrible odor of alcohol and smoke was overwhelming and Cagalli had to refrain from wanting to gag.

"Perhaps us picking up that young man off the street upset your plans," He added knowingly and smiled when he noticed the shade of Cagalli's cheeks darken. "He's a good-looking boy… for a Coordinator. Such a shame it would be to scar such a beautiful face."

She hesitated for a moment and looked over at Jibril, burning a hole through him with her blazing eyes. "What do you want?" She asked again, growing impatient.

"I thought you would want to discuss it over a couple drinks…" Jibril started but Cagalli cut him off, her fiery temper making her curt.

"I want to discuss it now!" Cagalli snarled and softened her voice. "What is it that you want!"

Jibril sighed and, closing the door, turned to face the girl his group had rescued almost one year ago. His light mood suddenly vanished as a shadow fell across his features. He straightened and took a sharp step towards Cagalli forcing her to step backwards.

"The Blue Cosmos has been having financial trouble since you left and refused to join our cause," He explained, his voice hauntingly low. "And our time for action is quickly depleting. Naturals are starting to become disillusioned by all the pro co-existence propaganda you and Orb have been putting out. I want 15 million dollars."

Cagalli gasped in shock but before she could speak, Jibril interrupted her.

"I know you have access to it," He warned and pointed a finger in Cagalli's face, his eyes screaming murder. "Don't toy with me or else… This Athrun will become a victim of my hospitality."

"You aren't seriously considering…" Cagalli couldn't finish. She remembered what Jibril had told her last year, his plans, his hopes, his aspirations: a bright future of the blue and pure and a dark future for the Coordinators.

"They are everywhere," Jibril spat and pointed in disgust down the alley towards the crowds casually making their way down the streets. "The Earth has become a polluted population, our culture has become all but nothing. If there is any future for this nation then we must rise up and remove the disease that is spreading. Coordinators are a threat to the way we live, our history, our culture, our way of life."

Cagalli felt a sudden pain stab through the back of her mind. As she gazed out at the crowds, she remembered staring at people through the same eyes with the same ideas that Jibril was telling her now. The Naturals had gone through so much in the last few years. The violent attack on the earth, the war… Cagalli had grown up barring a strong resentment for Coordinators… yet, she was better now. She had come to realize that such radical thinking would solve nothing and only lead to more tragedy on both sides.

"It's wrong," She ground out, shaking her head. "The Earth has moved past this Jibril. We have put so much effort into international relations… especially with the PLANTS… what you want to do will lead us back to war."

"Annihilation of the Coordinators would solve everything." Jibril snapped and brought his hand up to violently backhand Cagalli across the face. He stopped, however, when he saw the uncertainty in her eyes.

"You didn't think so before," He mused and raised an eyebrow. "And part of me believes that deep down you are still one of us. Revolutionaries who are fighting for a better world."

"I am NOT like you!" Cagalli shot back with less conviction than she might have liked. "You are a criminal. Your plan to murder all those of unnatural birth didn't work during the war and still won't."

"We shall see," Jibril replied. "You have two days, Cagalli. Bring me a check for 15 million or else… I'll start my plan to rid this region of all parasites… beginning with your friend and I have a feeling he means a little more to you than just a simple friend would."

"Jibril," Cagalli knew she sounded desperate but at this point didn't know what else to do. "You know I can't betray Orb like that…I can't give you the money to kill hundreds of innocent people. Such actions would upset the PLANTS and we are so close to achieving true peace!"

"But it is acceptable to betray friends?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's not like you, Cagalli…or is it because he is a Coordinator that you don't seem to care. That, I could understand."

"If you dare hurt Athrun I swear I will see you dead…" Cagalli ground out. Her fists clinched as the words stumbled out. "No more blood needs to be spilled over events that happened so long ago. We've stopped the fighting… there is no need to start it up all over again… massacring Coordinators on earth will do just that!'

"Do you not want to secure the future of our pure world?" Jibril demanded before shaking his head. Eyeing Cagalli, he knew he was wasting his time. "Regardless, it matters not. What does matter is that I have something you want, and you have something I want. Give us the money, we will give you back Athrun and you can go free, never to be bothered by us again."

"What will you do with the money?" Cagalli shot back. "Buy weapons? So you can hurt more people?"

"Yes." Jibril replied. Without any warning, he grabbed hold of Cagalli's jacket and pulled her close. So close, Cagalli could smell the alcohol on his breath and winced. "I am growing tired of this. I've told you where we stand. You have two days. Think long and hard about what you say next for I'm warning you… it won't be you who suffers."

Cagalli bit her lip and lowered her eyes. She knew that Jibril wasn't lying and that any more words from her could result in Athrun being hurt. Never had she felt more sick in her life. Gazing into those hard, violet eyes, Cagalli understood all too well Jibril's fear, no phobia, of Coordinators. His belief that the Coordinators would bring about the destruction of the Naturals and that they all must be destroyed had manifested itself in his mind. Athrun was in grave danger.

"You know what I am capable of," Jibril hissed. "Coordinator or not, they still bleed, they still feel pain and they can still die. If you don't give us what we want then I can assure you, Athrun won't live another pain-free moment in his miserable life. If you go to the police, I will personally see to it that his death is an excruciating one."

"Promise me, Jibril," Her voice softened as she choice her words with great care. "Promise me that you will not hurt him… I have two days right? Promise me that you will leave him be."

"For two days and two nights…" Jibril warned. "If you fail to comply then you can consider his life forfeit. If you are not here, in front of Aua's Pub by midnight two days from now, then don't bother coming back at all."

Cagalli simply nodded and giving Jibril one final glance, turned and hurried down the alley. She didn't know where she was running to, but she had to get away. Her heart felt torn, she felt as if split between two horrible evils. Her feet smacked against the cobblestone road as she ran and she shook her head in anguish. How could she give Jibril the money he needed to start army? How could she sit back and let Athrun become a victim of Jibril's foolishness? Neither choice was appealing, and she felt her heart bleeding in pain and indecisiveness.

Cagalli fled towards the hotel that she was to stay at. Tears of frustration filled her eyes as thoughts of Athrun ran through her mind. She needed help. "Kira…" She whispered suddenly. Would her brother be able help her? She could only hope so.

Bursting through the main doors of the hotel, she raced through the lounge and up the stairs to the room that she knew had been set aside for her. She opened the door and walked inside. The room was small and tidy, with a good-sized fireplace in the center of the wall. The quarters were actually cozy but she felt no comfort. How long had it been since she had been alone? Since she had some quiet time to herself, without Athrun? Longer then she could remember, to be honest.

Sighing, she kicked off her boots and sat on the bed heavily. An odd, stabbing pain in her chest and abdomen acted up again, and even as she shut her eyes in agony she wondered what it meant. It wasn't a physical ailment, but her body was definitely reacting to something. Was it her emotions? As she looked down at the floor between her knees she realized there were wet spots on the fabric of her pants. She moved her hand to wipe them away when another droplet of moisture landed on the skin of her knuckles. Staring, he watched as another fell, then another.

With a start she realized they were coming from her. She was crying. Her chest heaved with a sob, her lungs burning as badly as her eyes, and she put her head in her hands. Hurt and despair gripped her body and she curled herself around it, losing herself in the torrent of feelings. She had never wanted this to happen. To loose Athrun like this… she couldn't give The Blue Cosmos the money they were demanding. They would hurt so many people … yet Athrun….

Pulling at her hair, she furiously cursed over and over again; condemning Jibril to a dance with the devil. She should never have let Athrun come! She should have listened to her gut instinct and insisted that he attend the Bloody Valentine Memorial as he had initially intended.

"It's not fair!" She screamed and it truly wasn't. Only when she realized that she loved him had he been taken away from her and there was no way to bring him back.

Glancing up teary-eyed at the phone on the table across the room, she stood up slowly. Should she call Kira? What if the phones were bugged? Inhaling deeply, she reached out a shaky hand towards the telephone. She couldn't handle this alone and nobody here would help her… there was nobody here she could trust.

"Athrun…" She whispered softly and dialed Kira's home phone number. Bringing it up to her ear, she listened as it rang over and over again. "Come on Kira, answer your stupid phone!"

"Hello?" A voice yawned into the phone and Cagalli pulled back in disgust.

"Kira? Did you just wake up? What is wrong with you men that you sleep half of your life away!"

"Oh my God!" Cagalli cringed when she heard Kira drop the phone. "Cagalli? Is that you?"

"Of course it's me!" Cagalli snapped, her fear for Athrun making her curt. "Who else would it be!"

"Well… I don't know… I…" Kira fumbled over his words and Cagalli could hear him moving about on the other line. "I thought you were in the middle of negotiations. I wasn't expecting a call from you."

"I didn't plan on making this call," Cagalli replied and hiccupped as she fought to control the emotions that were racing through her. "Things have been really busy."

"I can only imagine," Kira listened carefully to her words. He could sense that she had something she wanted to tell him. Something she needed to tell him. "So, how is everything? Is Athrun with you?"

"Oh… umm…no," Cagalli replied abruptly, her voice falling to a low whisper as she tossed a quick glance over towards the hotel room window. The sun was setting and she shuddered, feeling the cold of night grip her. Athrun was somewhere out there with a group who hated his people. All because of her.

There was a pause on the other line before Kira dared to speak again.

"Cagalli? I thought you and Athrun were traveling together… did you two have a fight? Did something happen?"

Cagalli nodded into the phone, afraid to say too much. "Kira, how long would it take you to meet me?"

"Meet you? But I thought…"

"I really need to see you!" Cagalli blurted out and her voice cracked as a painful sob escaped her throat. She could sense the confusion on the other line which only upset her further. She wanted to scream at him. She wanted to just shout _Athrun is in trouble! Can't you understand that? They took him away and I may never see him again!_ But she bit her tongue. She couldn't take any chances and if the phone had been bugged, she could quit possibly put Athrun in even more danger.

"_As if that were possible,"_ She thought to herself bitterly before turning her attention back to Kira. "When can you be here?'

"Where are you?"

"In Helsinki, I'm in the Auda Hotel, room 27."

Kira sighed. "Well, flights to the Earth leave every other hour so….Tomorrow morning?"

At that moment Cagalli's heart stopped. Tomorrow. After tomorrow, Athrun could arguably only have one more day to live. Athrun Zala. From the very first day, she had discovered an overwhelming fascination with him and as time brought them closer together she had found that her fondness for him had evolved into a love she had never experienced before… and now she had lost him.

"Cagalli talk to me," She barely managed to hear her brother's words. "Is Athrun alright?"

"Tomorrow will be fine," Cagalli completely dismissed his question. "I will wait for you at the hotel."

"Wait a minute!" Kira protested as if sensing that Cagalli was about to hang up on him. "You didn't answer my question. I…"

"Will you be here tomorrow?"

"Yes but…"

"I will talk to you tomorrow then."

Before Kira could reply, Cagalli hung up the phone. Leaning over the telephone, she began to quiver as heart-broken sobs wracked her thin frame. Her grip on the phone tightened as her eyes filled with tears. "Blast it!" An anguished scream ripped from her throat as she viciously ripped the phone out of the wall and flung it across the room.

The phone crashed against the door to her room and fell to the floor in pieces. But Cagalli wasn't yet satisfied. "No! No! No! Why Athrun? WHY?"

She slumped to the ground, her breathing erratic as she fought to calm herself down. Her nails dug into the carpet as she sunk further to the ground in despair. It felt as if someone had just ripped her heart out and had left her to die in her misery. Closing her eyes and gritting her teeth, Cagalli realized that in many ways, that was exactly what Jibril and the Blue Cosmos had done.

Too distraught to sleep and too exhausted to move, Cagalli cried and cursed for another hour before pure exhaustion finally claimed her.

**TBC.**

I hope you liked it. We see Athrun again in the next chapter – it's done but needs editing. Again, please let me know what you think ok? Any advice you have a really do take into consideration since this is my first fanfic.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Krilyn

**Slightly Sinister Sinestra** I'm glad you like it so far! Please update your story again soon!

**rain angst:** I'm glad the length is ok – I wasn't sure how long the chapters should be.

**daisukiasu'n'caga** I'm so sorry you're getting lost! To be honest, I don't know who will save who yet because I haven't finished the story yet. Thank you for continuing to read though – I'll try to make it clearer.

**Kageharu Kaco** It's great to hear you enjoy the story! I love description and could go on and on and on about things the probably aren't important. Actually, I love describing eyes. With me it's always eyes lol. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter as well. Thank you for the nice review.

**Cari-Akira** Yes, I don't like Jibril either. As for Athrun, I think I mentioned earlier, I don't really like death fics hint hint so even if things get bad keep that in mind ok?


	6. Peril

Hello again!

Back with another chapter! This one reached 10 pages so it's a bit longer than normal but I won't be updating again for at least a week because I'm out of town.

Please review if you have time, it really helps me out since this is my first try at fanfiction.

**Disclaimer:**I don't own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny. Just a fan with a weird imagination.

**WARNING:** I want you to know that there will be extreme suffering on the part of Athrun in this chapter. I mean very painful physical abuse that includes the usage of medical sedatives (drugs) that are used to calm people down. If you are sensitive to this sort of thing then please don't read it ok?

If you are concerned about missing out as far as the plot goes, scroll down to the bottom and there's a summary of the key points that you will need to know for upcoming chapters.

**Gundam Seed: Abhorrence**

**Chapter #6: Peril**

_He was running, flying across the forest floor, never looking back as the winds swept past him, pushing him forward. He could hear people screaming his name yet all he could see was shadows, shadows amongst the trees that he knew he had to escape. _

_He ran until he was out of breath. Stopping behind a tree that he was certain concealed him from plan view, he could feel his heart pounding and his head was throbbing so hard that it made thinking impossible. Shaking his head, he tried to clear his vision but the world refused to stop spinning. _

_Trying to keep everything in focus, he held perfectly still. Listening, his instincts focused solely on survival. They were chasing him. He didn't know why but they were hunting him, like some valuable trophy, they had refused to let up on the hunt and he was beginning to grow desperate._

_Hesitantly, Athrun took a step out from behind the tree and was startled to see that there was nothing but reeds and cattails surrounding him and the large tree. Whether it was his imagination or the fact he had taken a severe blow to the head, the thick forest had vanished, leaving him in what appeared to be a swamp. His senses slowly became aware of something cold and wet and, staring down, he realized that he was standing up to his knees in mucky water._

_He staggered back, grasping at the trunk of the tree for assurance that he hadn't lost his mind. What was happening? Looking around, he franticly tried to seek out the woods that had surrounded him only moments ago._

_That was when he felt a droplet of water strike the tip of his nose. Athrun jerked, surprised and confused. The sky was clear, the sun was shining… why was it raining? He looked around blindly at the sky before another drop struck him on the forehead, followed closely by another, then another. His mind and body froze as he heard the sound of rushing water._

_Throwing his head up, Athrun opened his mouth to scream as he found himself at the bottom of what was a waterfall that seemed to be just beginning to flow. The water rushed over it and came gushing towards him, merciless and cruel. Athrun threw up his hands in defense but before the water could reach him, the pond he was standing in suddenly deepened and Athrun found himself submerged, unable to take a single breath before the oxygen was stolen away from him._

_He tried to call for help but only received a mouth full of water for his efforts. His body wrenched, his chest heaving as he choked. He was going to die…_

Athrun's eyes flew open as he found himself wrenching forward, coughing and choking violently on water, desperate for air. His body convulsed and vicious tremors took hold of him while he struggled to breathe. Droplets of water fell from his lank, blue bangs and he snapped his eyes shut to try and collect himself. The tremors that wracked his body caused his side to hurt from where a rock had struck his kidneys, only adding to the trouble he was having pulling air into his lungs.

Only after he was breathing steadily did he allow himself to sink back to the ice cold floor, exhausted. His head was pounding and his vision seemed to continually be falling in and out of focus, making determining his whereabouts impossible.

"Hey!" A harsh voice scolded. "Wake up!"

Before Athrun could process that someone was speaking to him, he felt a powerful blast of water smack into his back. He scrambled up to his knees and realized that he was drenched. In fact, looking around, the entire area around him was soaking wet and puddles of water were beginning to gather around his dripping wet form. He shivered, the cold of the water against the musty air causing goose-bumps to prickle his skin. Instinctively, he tried to wrap his arms around himself only to discover that his hands were bound tightly behind his back and his coat was gone.

Teeth chattering, Athrun took a moment to survey his new location and felt a wave of uneasiness take hold of him. He was trapped behind an iron-bar door, a prison of some sort with an unforgiving, hard concrete floor and cement walls. Peering through the iron bars, Athrun noticed a group of men were staring at him - five with equally annoyed faces while another two held now-empty buckets of water.

It was obvious they had been trying to awaken him for quit some time.

Quickly masking any fears behind his impassive, green eyes, Athrun slowly sat up and returned their glares with equal intensity. He recognized one as Neo but the rest were unfamiliar to his eyes and aching mind. The dim lights didn't help the situation either and Athrun silently wished that he could at least get a clear view at his capturers. The iron mask that covered Neo's face shone brightly in the darkness, revealing no emotion, no feeling, nothing.

On his knees, Athrun blinked a couple times and grimaced as Neo opened the lock on his door with a loud click; his aching head amplifying the sound in his ears. He watched in silence as the men crowded into his cell, surrounding him.

Observing the men carefully, Athrun sensed a wariness about them as they inched closer. His muscles tensed as his clear, green eyes followed their movements. The light reflected off of his stormy orbs causing them to twinkle an unearthly shade of green. Judging by the way these men circled around him, Athrun could only guess that they were unsure of him.

"Get up!" Neo sneered and bending down, he grabbed Athrun's arm tightly and hoisted him up to his feet. "We aren't falling for any of your tricks, you filthy little Coordinator."

The sudden movement sent Athrun's world into a dizzying spiral and he staggered, struggling to keep his balance. Stumbling backward, his back met the ice-cold wall and he shuddered. Still dripping wet, he leaned against it for support and watched as the men drew closer.

"I fail to see what that foolish girl sees in you." Neo spat the words directly in the smaller man's face and when Athrun tried to turn his head to avoid getting the spittle in his eyes; a heavy fist flew up and smashed into the side of his head… the same side that had suffered a blow earlier.

Athrun hissed in pain and crumpled to the ground as white lights exploded behind his eyes. He didn't understand. What did these people want from him? Why were they treating him like this? Cagalli? What was Neo talking about? Athrun hardly had time to recover as the same hand that had struck him came down a second time. The hand locked around the back of his neck and Athrun was dragged back up to his feet.

"How very bold," Athrun muttered, sarcastically. "Beating a man whose hands are tied behind his back."

"Shut up. I'm here to tell you the way things are going to be for the next few days," Neo explained as he deliberately sank his nails into his victim's neck, causing him to twist in his grasp. Athrun growled as he violently tried to jerk free and Neo took advantage of it. As Athrun pulled, Neo flung him forward and the combine momentum of Athrun's movement and Neo's force sent Athrun hurdling into the barred door.

"You will not be fed," Neo sneered. Leaning down, he cupped Athrun's chin and forced him to look up at him. "So don't expect to be. We don't waste rations on garbage such as yourself. Atso here will be guarding you so don't even think about trying something foolish. If you behave, we will bring you a cup of water in the morning and one at night. If you so much as look at me the wrong way you will wish that you had never stepped foot in our country – do we understand one another?"

Athrun pulled away from the repulsive mans grasp and bit his lip, glaring defiantly at him. He had done nothing to deserve this. .

His subtle actions proved to be a mistake. Furiously, Neo backhanded Athrun, causing his head to snap to the side. Again, Athrun felt his head explode in pain and shook it to clear his vision. It only made it worse.

Athrun tasted a strange metallic substance in his mouth and realized that he had bit his tongue. Eyes watering, he tried to inch away from this man… the one that seemed to take such pleasure in beating him. However, he was up against the wall with nowhere left to go.

Looking past Neo's shoulder, Athrun's gaze fell upon the younger man who Neo had referred to as Atso, pleading silently for help, understanding, anything. He found none. His silent pleas were met with nothing but anger and contempt for reasons that he couldn't fathom.

Neo's eyes narrowed behind his mask as he watched Athrun carefully, as if looking for something. Eyeing the hunched, younger man with great intensity, he smiled wickedly as if satisfied. "Your eyes betray your thoughts," He told him and chuckled. "I recommend you don't wear them so plainly on your face."

At this point, Athrun felt his blood boil and his face turn a dark shade of red, evaporating the water that was still on his cheeks. His hands tightened into fists as he tested his bonds. They still held firm.

"Oh come now," A cruel smirk widened on Neo's face as if sensing the lone Coordinator's frustration. "We didn't come here to quarrel with you. We came to talk about a few things. We want to know your name and your connection to Miss. Cagalli. We have so much to discuss do we not? Are you not the least bit curious about where you are? Or why you are here? Or perhaps how that little tart of a princess betrayed you?"

Athrun's heart skipped a beat at the mentioning of Cagalli but he wasn't ready to believe a word that this man told him. Cagalli would never betray him. Regardless of the connection she had with these men, she would never deliberately hurt him. He would never accept that and so he remained silent.

"Answer him," Atso purred in the young man's left ear as Athrun tried to shy away from the unwanted touch. "It will go better for you if you do."

Turning his head from Neo, Athrun spat viciously at the second man. He had no doubt that they were going to kill him and he certainly had no intention of engaging in any sort of conversation with them. "You should mind what you say to me," He growled. "One falsehood makes all your words sound false."

The defiance in Athrun's eyes was unbridled and Atso sobered quickly. "Why you little…"

Reaching out to strike the pinned Coordinator, Atso was surprised when Athrun retaliated. Bringing up his knee, the ex-soldier caught Neo in the mid-section and as the man's grip on him loosened, Athrun dropped to the ground to avoid Atso's fist. Eyes blazing, Athrun caught the man's out-stretched arm between his hip and upper arm and he twisted it hard until he heard a satisfying 'snap.'

Athrun then reared back violently, seeing nothing but red. He was a trained soldier. Although he knew he would inevitably loose this fight, he wasn't willing to simply submit to these people. His pride wouldn't allow it.

The man recoiled, howling in pain.

The cry brought the other five men to life as they all lunged at the rebelling prisoner. Athrun's eyes focused on the open door to his cell and then darted from right to left as he struggled to predict and respond to the incoming attacks of the men blocking his path. Pulling frantically, he could feel the skin on his wrists being rubbed raw and beginning to bleed as he tried to free himself but the bonds that kept his arms tied refused to give way.

Like a slippery bar of soap, Athrun swiveled in between the men gracefully though he knew he wouldn't be able to keep this up forever. One man lunged at him but Athrun easily side-stepped away from him and smiled to himself when he heard the man collide with another one behind him.

He saw an opening in their attacks; a potential chance for freedom and took it.

Jumping aside to avoid another blow meant for him, Athrun burst out of his cell. The men fumbled in an attempt to grab him but Athrun was quick and evaded their efforts with ease.

"Come back here!"

Swiftly, he made his way down the hall, his mind swirling as he quickly sought to construct a plan of action. He spun around a corner and pushed through a door that led to a stairwell. He scrambled down the first flight in haste before pausing. Listening, Athrun frowned when he couldn't hear a sound. Nobody was chasing him.

His senses heightened as he slowly made his way down a few more steps. Something wasn't right. Why hadn't they followed him? Perhaps they were planning on trapping him. After all, they knew the building while he had no idea where he was or where he was going. Athrun finished descending the second flight of stairs and came to a door with a small window. Peering in, Athrun was about open it when he heard a soft rumble on the other side.

"_Well that was just brilliant_," Athrun mentally scolded himself._ "You haven't a clue of what where you're going and you've managed to make everyone even angrier. This has to be one of the stupidest things you have ever done!"_

Suddenly, Athrun pressed himself back flat against the wall, alerted by the sound of approaching feet. Neo and several of his men appeared in the cross passage behind the door opposite to Athrun's position and Athrun held perfectly still.

"Spread out and fine him," Neo growled at his men as they inched closer to the door. "He went down the stairs which means he has to be somewhere on this floor."

His words confirmed Athrun's suspicion that they had figured on cornering him and he held his breath. He heard the men begin to break off in their search and could sense three men drawing nearer to the door. Silently, Athrun willed the men to keep going straight and not enter the stairwell. Unfortunately, it was not to be.

Neo swung the door open and nearly stepped on Athrun before he saw him.

Swinging into motion, Athrun shoved the man back, with his shoulder, into the two men behind him before turning and flying back up the stairs he had just descended as fast as his legs could carry him.

Neo swore loudly. "There he is!" He scowled harshly as he and his men chased the fleeing boy up the stairs. "You are not going to be able to _move_ when I am through with you, kid!" He shouted angrily after Athrun. "I don't care how you do it, men, but catch him! If you don't, it will be all of us taking his punishment. Is that clear!"

Athrun fled swiftly in front of his pursuers, dashing lightly up the stairs despite having his arms tied behind his back. His feet slipped on a steep, narrow step and he caught himself against the wall but did not stop moving. Taking a turn off at the next level, Athrun tried to put as much distance between himself and Neo as was possible. Grimly, he realized that he was back where he had started. Along the hall, there were two cross passages and between them hung a window made of stained glass that revealed next to no light.

Tearing down the dreary hall at full speed, Athrun was forced to pull up abruptly when half a four more men appeared in the cross passage ahead of him. Nearly skidding on the slippery floor, Athrun backtracked swiftly.

Caught in the passage between the two groups, Athrun took a desperate gamble. Bracing himself for the worst, Athrun crashed through the window shoulder-first and jumped to the ground, three stories below. There was nothing to break his fall so Athrun landed hard in a snowdrift in a shower of broken glass. He landed on his feet, dropping into a crouch to better absorb the impact but he still felt one of his ankles twist under him at the sharp, jarring impact. Pain shot up his leg as he sprang quickly to his feet, but he did not let that stop him.

His unconventional exit landed him just in front of what appeared to be a small court yard connected to a small cafeteria behind the building. Unfortunately, this was the Blue Cosmos members' favorite place to linger, where they could obtain free food and good liquor from the friendly kitchen staff.

Half a dozen men immediately sprang to attention when they saw him.

Forcing aside the pain that was spearing up his leg, Athrun broke into a run. The yard was fenced but he was sure that if he could get around to the front of the building he could make good of his escape.

"Stop him! Stop him!" Neo's voice from above called down and the other men immediately gave chase.

Moving as fast as he could around the new limp he had acquired, Athrun rounded the corner only to be faced with another score of men hurrying towards him from the opposite direction.

Several of the men grabbed for him and Athrun spun away, jabbing one man in the stomach with his shoulder and flipping another lightly across his back. Neo and his own men gained the ground level amazingly fast and now poured out of the doorway on the right to further overwhelm the lone prisoner.

Athrun spun, jabbed and twisted his way through them. For a moment, the men struggled to even lay a finger on him as he fought desperately. He was so close to getting to the front of the building… it was just around the corner!

But it was too far for the injured Coordinator to reach.

Grasping hands caught Athrun's bound arms and jerked him off balance. He fought bravely, but with over thirty men attempting to bring him down, the odds were simply too great.

His attackers bore him down to the ground, jerking him to his knees under a hail of irritated tugs and blows. One man's enraged boot caught the boy in the stomach, kicking him again and again as Athrun tried to curl away from the abuse.

Unshed tears of extreme frustration and pain shimmered in the young man's eyes as the men ground him ruthlessly into the snow only a few yards away from his destination. But Athrun was too stubborn to let them fall.

Neo dragged the bleeding youth to his knees and then yanked him to his feet as they marched him away, cuffing and cursing him liberally for the trouble he had caused them. Athrun continued to struggle as they hulled him back to his cell.

Furious, Neo flung Athrun into his cell and he, along with six other men, followed him in while closing and, this time, locking the door to the cell.

Athrun stumbled lightly, trying to keep as much weight off his sore ankle as he could. Shooting the men an incensed glare, Athrun turned slowly, reassessing the situation he now found himself in. He was trapped. Like a wild animal in a cage, he had nowhere to run to and he found himself backed into a corner.

Bending his knees defensively, Athrun glared at his capturers as he stepped back until he was against the wall. Neo's six men had surrounded him and were slowly converging upon him. He swallowed in a futile attempt to moisten his dried throat as sweat trickled down his brow and into his eyes – causing them to sting painfully.

He tried to read their movements. He tried to focus but all of his skills would do him little good. He was already bruised from his escape attempt and knew that he wouldn't get lucky a second time Athrun licked his cracked lips, nervously biting his bottom one until it bled as he waited. He knew they would eventually overpower him.

There was no organization to their attack as the six men lunged at him and drove the struggling Coordinator to the ground. Athrun landed on his back and a sharp cry tore itself from his system as the back of his head cracked against the hard floor. Suffocating from the pressure of having five other bodies on top of him, Athrun snarled in protest, kicking and thrashing about violently as a rain of angry fists fell upon him. He would not let them take him down without at least some sort of resistance.

Rough hands tangled in his hair and closed around his bound arms as they hoisted him up from the ground. Athrun continued to thrash about wildly and almost managed to break their hold but with two pairs of powerful hands clamped around each of his arms, it was impossible. They manhandled him and shoved him back violently against the cold wall and held him there. He knew it was foolish to fight back but when he felt another punch coming, his instincts took over once again and he ducked. Still held against the wall, he kicked out and knocked one of the men away from him.

His motion caused him to twist in his capturers arms and he gasped when he felt something slam into his back. Athrun fell towards the floor but never touched the cold cement.

The man he had kicked balled his two fists together and swung up, hitting Athrun underneath his chin and bringing him back up. The same man then grabbed hold of Athrun's black tunic and rammed him back into the wall. Repeatedly, he drove his fist into the boy's stomach five times, the last punch especially hard.

Athrun slumped over and would have tumbled to his knees had it not been for the four men holding him upright. Choking, his insides twisted when he coughed up a few droplets of blood.

The men didn't let up and one man on his left grabbed a handful of Athrun's dark hair, pulling his head back, while the other punched him in the face three times; once in the jaw, the next hit the lip and the last hit Athrun's right eye.

Athrun strained to free himself and continued to resist until the one man let go of his hair and tightened his grip around his left arm. Holding his arm firmly, the man began to twist it awkwardly up his back, causing Athrun to wince in pain as pressure began to build in his shoulder. He could feel his right eye beginning to swell and closed them.

"You seem to enjoy breaking bones," The man mused and wrenched it up higher, causing Athrun to arch his back in anguish. He was panting now as the man continued to apply pressure on his arm. "Let's see if you can take what you dish out."

There was a gut-wrenching 'pop.'

Athrun screamed.

His left arm popped right out of its socket. The pain was staggering, forcing his eyes to burst open. When he opened them, he desperately wished that he hadn't.

Up until this point, Neo had watched in silence as his men brutalized the prisoner. Stepping forward, the leader pulled out a strange vial from his pocket that contained a needle. Athrun paled. They were going to poison him. The man approached him menacingly, holding out the needle so his prisoner could see it clearly; its tip shimmered in the light that seeped through the bared door of the cell.

Athrun flinched as the second man on his left began to roll up the sleeve of his shirt, revealing the bare skin of his upper arm. The sudden panic that was building in his stomach over-road the pain he felt in his dislocated shoulder. As Neo moved closer, Athrun kicked out to try to keep him at bay but the movement only increased the pressure on his twisted arm and he whimpered in pain.

"I figured you might try something stupid like this," Neo snarled and shook his head. "You Coordinators always have to do things the hard way. This will most certainly calm you down."

"We should have done this sooner," Atso muttered as he held his arm protectively against his chest. "There's no telling what he might do."

"A genetically modified freak," Another man agreed. "We know how to deal with people like you."

Athrun tried one last time to break the bonds that held his arms firmly behind his back but he'd rubbed his wrists completely raw. The pain of his bloody wrists against the harsh rope ended the attempt. Looking up, Athrun realized that each one of these men were glaring at him - Pouring all their hate and disgust into their gaze.

As Neo drew near, Athrun recoiled as much as the iron hold these men had on him would allow.

"Stay away from me." Athrun hissed through clinched teeth, sounding braver than he felt.

Neo blinked when he saw Athrun's wide eyes focus on the needle in his hand. For half an instant, Neo saw something disturbing flash through the young man's eyes. Something raw and vulnerable that was out of place in such a fierce and unbending youth. It was then he realized that Athrun Zala was truly afraid of what was happening to him.

"You're afraid of me," He mused and chuckled. "Aren't you boy?"

Athrun bit his lip and said nothing. He didn't need to. Despite how much he wanted to, he couldn't ignore the terrifying possibilities that his mind explored as he stared at the needle.

Neo frowned. Unimpressed that Athrun still chose to remain defiant, he motioned to the men restraining him. "Hold him down."

The grip around his arms strengthened and the man he had attacked earlier, named Atso, bent down and grabbed his legs to hold them still. Athrun's face went white as he watched Neo come up alongside of him and wave the needle in front of his face teasingly. "We had hoped it wouldn't come to this but I must say, to see a Coordinator squirm has been most amusing."

Athrun's eyes followed the needle until it settled upon the sensitive skin of his upper, left arm. At this point, the veins were bulging from the pressure being applied by the man twisting his arm. Athrun wrenched his head to the right and squeezed his eyes shut so tightly that they began to water. He couldn't bear to watch as these men destroyed him with whatever sick concoctions they had created.

There was a painful prick and Athrun's breath hitched as he felt the icy fluid enter his veins. A terrifying tingling sensation shot up his arm and went directly to his brain, causing a faint moan to escape his dry throat. The sensation spread like liquid fire through his entire body and for a brief second, Athrun was unable to move. He could feel his limbs gradually going numb and his vision blurred, forcing him to blink rapidly. His head felt heavy on his shoulders and his body sagged in his captors' arms.

The world spun in horrid circles for a few moments before he vaguely felt the iron grasp on him release and he collapsed to the pitiless, cement floor in a heap. Stunned, Athrun groaned weakly and curled in on his abused abdomen. He couldn't move, he could hardly think and somewhere in the haze that had become his mind, he realized that he had been sedated.

"What… did you…" He choked on the words as his throat seemed to close in on itself and he found it took all of his concentration just to pull air into his lungs. His head was pounding and the dizziness made him nauseous.

"It's a little something Jibril came across during a raid not too long ago," Neo explained as he watched Athrun writhe around on the floor at his feet. "It's used to put down disobedient animals but on Coordinators it merely has the same effects as an every day sedative. It dulls the senses and you may feel a little sick to your stomach but other then that, it shouldn't kill you. Perhaps you will behave yourself a little better when we come to visit you again. We will be back and perhaps then, you will be a little more cooperative."

Athrun winced and clamped his eyes tightly shut as the pounding in his mind intensified. He wouldn't have even been aware that his captors had left him had it not been for the soft clicking of his cell door being locked but that soft sound sounded like someone had ignited dynamite beside his head and a pained cry escaped his parched throat. He didn't even notice the glass of water that had been left in the corner of the lonely cell. As darkness began to take hold of him, he couldn't help but wonder what he had ever done to justify what was happening to him now.

**TBC….**

_**Brief Summary of Chapter:**_

_Neo and his pals visit Athrun, who is now a prisoner of the Blue Cosmos. Basically, this chapter demonstrates the brutality of the Blue Cosmos and just how little respect they have for Coordinators. Athrun tries to escape, gets recapture and is badly beaten and sedated so he doesn't try anything a second time._

I'm sorry! Please don't flame me! I love Athrun, really I do – for the sake of the story I had to hurt him. Don't worry, Cagalli and her friends are on there way to help him. I just hope they get there in time… oh wait, I guess that would be my job to make sure they get there on time right? Hehehe…

For those who asked - the answer is 'no.' I'm not a fan of death-fics.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and helped me with this story. You're the best!

Please let me know what you think ok? What you like, what you don't. What you would like to see happen. Even though I've written up to chapter 10, I revise and edit based on the advice people give me so please review!

**Slightly Sinister Sinestra** I blame you for this chapter (I'm totally kidding.) But I actually got the idea to give a brief description of what's going on with poor Athrun from you. Therefore, this chapter is for you – I hope you enjoyed it!.

**Kageharu Kaco** I'm glad I'm not the only one who loves Cagalli's and Athrun's eyes! Gah! Don't kill Jibril! I need him for upcoming chapters! Slap him around a bit because he does deserve it but don't kill him… at least not yet. And yes, I am an angsty writer as you can tell but I don't like killing characters – just roughing them up a bit. Thanks again for proofing my story! I hope you liked the chapter.

**rain angst:** Yeah, poor Athrun. I really did a number on him didn't I? Don't worry, I'll make it up to him later on in the story.

**Cari-Akira**: That's funny! I did consider the fake money idea but then I thought Cagalli probably wouldn't want to risk Athrun's life on it. Yes, Cagalli made a few big mistakes but hopefully she'll make up for them in the next few chapters. Thanks for reviewing! I love your reviews – they give me ideas for upcoming chapters.

Thanks again!

Until next time,

Krilyn


	7. Lacus' Decision

Hi!

Sorry about the delay! I was on a little trip. Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter! I was a little concerned about that. Anyway, enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any references made to either.

**Abhorrence**

**Chapter #7: Lacus' Decision**

Kira shivered as the icy wind bit through his jacket and shook his head to knock away the snowflakes that had accumulated on his eyelashes. He lifted up a booted foot and grunted softly when it sank further into the snow. His entire boot disappeared into the drift. An unfamiliar tinkling sensation road up his leg as the snow melted, dampened his pant-leg and numbed his claves. Staggering slightly, Kira felt his left leg skid away from him as he slipped on a piece of ice hidden by a thin layer of frost.

"Gah!"

His foot went right out from under him and he landed gracelessly in a snowdrift by the side of the curb. The shock of the cold up his back sent him scrambling back up to his feet. He pushed himself up with one hand as he felt himself being dragged along by the other. Now covered in snow, Kira shrugged his duffle bag onto his shoulder. He could feel the strap starting to slide and struggled to hang onto it while trying to keep pace with the beautiful, pink-haired girl ahead of him

Kira winced as a young couple pushed past him on the busy streets. He stumbled forward and gasped as he felt the crowds closing around him as the tightness made him feel like he was suffocating. His grip on the delicate hand he was holding began to loosen and as he tried to re-adjust his hold on Lacus' mitten. Suddenly, she pulled him close to avoid loosing him in the crowd.

"What exactly did Cagalli tell you?" Lacus asked when she felt Kira's wet mitt squeeze her hand.

"Nothing," Kira answered. "That's why I'm worried. It's not like her to be so vague and she sounded upset. Aside from that, when I asked about Athrun she wouldn't answer me. I think something terrible might have happened."

"To Athrun?" Lacus' voice tightened with emotion.

Kira nodded. "It's the only thing I can figure that makes sense."

"Oh no…" Lacus felt tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "It can't be."

"We'll have to see," Kira replied. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to comfort her. If something had in fact happened to Athrun, it wouldn't be Lacus that needed comforting, it would be his sister. He had seen the way Cagalli would undress his best friend with her eyes and her voice always softened in his presence. The two of them rarely showed the kind of affection Kira knew they shared in public but he understood why. Athrun had always preferred private moments, such as falling asleep in front of the television with Cagalli in his arms while Cagalli had a reputation to protect. More importantly, neither of them felt so insecure that they deemed it necessary to publicly display the love they knew they shared.

The two paused in front of an old, gothic-style building that towered over main-street Helsinki. Kira dug deep into his coat pocket and pulled out a crinkled piece of paper. His eyes skimmed it over quickly before he glanced back up at the building. "This is it."

"Cagalli's hotel?"

"Yeah." Kira sighed. If anything were to happen to Athrun, Cagalli would be crushed.

Kira and Lacus entered the hotel and hurried along the halls as Kira read the room numbers out loud. There was an eerie silence the flowed along the empty hall which seemed to amplify Kira's soft voice. "24, 25…hey Lacus, what number did Cagalli say she was in?"

Lacus frowned. "You spoke to her, not me. Didn't you write it down?"

"I forgot to…but I told you on the flight over here."

"Oh Kira," Lacus tossed her long hair and chuckled. "You can't expect me to remember every little thing that comes out of your mouth."

His eyes narrowed. "You weren't listening again were you?"

"I was so!" Lacus sputtered. "Honestly, I packed our things, I booked our flight, I cancelled my concert just so I could come with you and you have the nerve to accuse me of not listening? Just because you couldn't remember something so simple as a room number, Mr. Yamato, doesn't mean it's my fault!"

"What? I didn't say it was!"

"What the hell do you mean we can't do that!"

Kira and Lacus stopped and turned as they heard Cagalli's voice from behind the door to room 27. The two exchanged nervous glances before Kira boldly stepped forward and pushed the door open a crack. He poked his head in hesistantly.

"Um, Cagalli?"

From where he was, Kira caught a glimpse of his sister pacing around the room madly with a phone in hand. At her feet was another phone except it was broken. One look at Cagalli made Kira wonder whether or not this second phone was going to meet the same fate as the first. Suddenly, He was a little reluctant to see her.

"Maybe we should come back later?" He suggested but a look from Lacus silenced him.

"I heard what you said but Unato, if we don't do something they will kill him! I'm not saying we let them get away with it! Once we get him back we can turn them in!"

Kira and Lacus listened, both surprised to see Cagalli's eyes puffy and red as tear-stains streaked her cheeks. Her hair was uncombed and judging from the wane look on her face, she hadn't slept all night.

"Unethical?" Cagalli exploded causing Kira to flinch. "What? No! I will not calm down! They will kill him! I know these people, they…."

There was a pause as Cagalli listened to the response on the other line. Kira knew she was talking to one of the Orb Representatives and recognized the name Unato. Unato Seylan was just one of Orb's many Representatives although Kira personally disliked him. In fact, Kira disliked his entire family. Unato had a son named Yuuna who constantly spoke condescendingly of him whenever he had the chance. Even worse was the way he swooned after his sister, sometimes right in front of his best friend.

"You unfeeling bastard!" Cagalli screamed and Kira scrambled to pull his head out from the door before the phone smashing against it forced it shut.

"Urgh!"

"Cagalli?" Lacus asked and, reopening the door, she entered the room. It was sparse in the room; Cagalli's belongings flung half-heartedly in the far corner. Two beds were aligned perpendicular to a small television and, further down, was a door that led to what Lacus guessed was a bathroom. Glancing around, her expression saddened. Cagalli looked ruined. Pacing around the room, Cagalli was almost pulling the hair out of her head before she spun around to face the slightly taller girl. "Cagalli, what is it? What's wrong?"

"Lacus!" Her eyes widened with recognition before they moved past her and spotted Kira behind her. "You both came."

"Of course we did," Lacus put an arm around her and carefully helped Cagalli to the nearest bed and sat down beside her. "Kira said you sounded extremely upset. Did you and Athrun have a disagreement?"

"No, we didn't." Cagalli lowered her head as tears threatened to fall. Trembling slightly, she clinched and unclenched her fists as she felt Lacus' hold around her tighten. "He's gone…"

"Gone?" Kira crossed her arms. "What do you mean Athrun is gone? Where did he go?"

"I mean he's gone!" Cagalli leapt up to her feet and turned on her brother angrily. Grabbing him she shook him violently as she continued to holler at the top of her lungs, releasing all the frustration that had been building inside of her. "The Blue Cosmos took him okay! They just grabbed him off the street! I knew something like this might happen but I let him come anyway! I am so stupid!"

Kira and Lacus looked at one anther open-mouthed in disbelief. Neither one knew what to say so they just stared as Cagalli released Kira and continued to pace back and forth around the room.

"I should never have let him come with me!"

"Cagalli…"

"I' can't believe it! I'm an idiot!"

"Is he…"

Cagalli's eyes narrowed. "No, no he isn't. Not yet anyway."

"Athrun…" Lacus whispered, unsure what else to say as she listened from her perch on the side of the bed.

Cagalli stiffened. "I met with the head of the Blue Cosmos," She explained through gritted teeth. "They want 15 million dollars in exchange for his life. They want to use the money to buy weapons that they can use against Coordinators."

Neither Kira nor Cagalli noticed as Lacus pulled out a booklet and a pen from her purse and began to write. Kira was stunned. His best friend. His best friend was in the hands of a group who had a history of terrorizing Coordinators. They hated Coordinators. They hated everything about them. "What are you going to do?"

"I spoke to Mr. Seylan," Cagalli muttered and nodded towards the second phone now lying on the floor in pieces. "He said that Orb can't be seen endorsing any sort of underground factions that are plotting against the Coordinators. He said that we have to appear impartial otherwise the PLANTS and ZAFT will become uneasy."

Cagalli let out an exasperated sigh. "Basically, he said that loosing Athrun is unfortunate but there is nothing we can do."

"Surely, there must be something we can do," Kira protested. Athrun was his best friend. Their friendship had been stretched and strained but never broken. Not completely anyway. He couldn't leave him to what he knew would be certain death. Throwing his hands in the air, he joined Cagalli as the two of them paced around the room in circles. "How much time do we have?"

"I had two days to get the money," Cagalli answered and slowly raised her head to face Kira. Her expression was proff to just how serious the situation was. She had never looked so scared, so drained and so lost. "So we've got about 24 hours. I'm supposed to meet him tomorrow night by Aua's café."

"Do you know where they took him?"

Cagalli shook her head. "I have an idea… but I'm not sure. They may have moved since the last time I had any contact with them."

"That's not good," Kira groaned and slumped against the wall. "Even if we managed to figure out where Athrun was that wouldn't give us enough time to get him out. Aside from that, there's no guarantee they wouldn't just kill him on the spot once they realized what we were trying to do."

Cagalli nodded. "I don't want to just hand over the money. That wasn't my idea. All I asked Unato about was giving the money to them to get Athrun back. Afterwards, we could inform the authorities and get the money back and put the remaining members of that miserable group behind bars, but…"

"Unato didn't approve?"

"No," Cagalli muttered bitterly and turned her back to him, her eyes reaching out longingly into the distance. "He said nobody would ever agree to it. He said we can't let the Earth or the PLANTS see us as weak. That we can't yield to the threats of radicals. He doesn't care if Athrun dies or not."

"I see," Kira bit his bottom lip, searching for the right words to say. "Did he say anything else?"

"Just that he and Yuuna would be coming to ensure the negotiations run smoothly," Cagalli replied. "If only there was a way of getting the money, getting Athrun back and then going after them. That's what we have to do."

"How?" Kira asked. "From what I can tell, The Blue Cosmos holds all the cards."

"No," Lacus rose up and straightened, a glint of determination shimming in her bright, blue eyes.. "They do not." Turning to Cagalli, she ripped a piece of paper from the booklet in her hand and gave it to her.

Cagalli glanced down at it and her eyes bulged. Her head shot up in shock and Kira quickly scurried over to see what Lacus had given her. His mouth dropped as he read her neat handwriting.

"Lacus… are you sure?" He asked.

"Athrun is my friend," Lacus told them firmly. "At one point he was my fiancé and he is a good person. I will not allow his life to be put in jeopardy for a few measly dollars."

Forcing Cagalli's hand to close around the check she had just written, she smiled sadly. "I am the head of the Clyne Faction therefore I have nobody I have to hold myself accountable to as you do. Give them this and bring Athrun back to us. His safety should be our first priority. Afterwards, we can see what we can do about dealing with the Blue Cosmos."

"Lacus… I…" Cagalli was at a loss for words.

"I care about him too," Lacus added lightly and winked at Kira reassuringly. "Whatever happens, we have to get Athrun back."

Cagalli's closed her eyes and breathed in slowly to contain herself. She wasn't sure whether or not she should be relieved or concerned. For all she knew, Athrun could already be dead. "Thank you."

"Will this put you at odds with Orb?" Kira dared to inquire. "I mean, after what Representative Seylan said…"

"It won't," Cagalli cut him off abruptly as she jammed the check in her pocket. Straightening, she ran her fingers through her short hair. Her eyes darkened and her fists clinched into tight fists. "None of them have to know what transpires from here on out. If things go as well, we'll give them Lacus' check, get Athrun back and then we will go after them… hard."

_"I will make them pay for this."_ She promised herself._ "All of them."_

Kira moved, put a hand on Lacus' shoulder and nodded. "What do you want us to do, Cagalli?"

"Tomorrow," Cagalli started as she drifted closer to the window of her room and glanced over at Kira. "When I go meet Jibril to give him the money, I want you to come with me. If things go badly, I want you to do all you can to get Athrun away from them. Hopefully it won't come to that but just in case. Lacus, it would be best if you stayed here."

Kira and Lacus both acknowledged her. Sitting down, Kira guided Lacus beside her and pulled her close. Her warm body nestled up close to his brought him a certain about of comfort and he tightened his hold around her waist. "Now, I suppose all we can do is wait."

Cagalli silently agreed as she turned her attention back to the window and gently raised a hand, touching the glass. Her breath fogged it up, making it difficult to see, but she didn't care. Squinting, she sent out a silent prayer from the bottom of her broken-heart.

_Athrun, wherever you are, please be alright…you have no idea how much I need you…_

**TBC….**

I'm sorry, that chapter was a little shorter. The next one will be longer because we jump back to see how poor Athrun is doing. Please review! I love hearing from you and you're advice, encouragement is greatly appreciated!

Until next time,  
Krilyn

**Slightly Sinister Sinestra**I'm glad I nailed down Athrun's character in the last chapter and I'm super glad you liked it because you gave me the idea for it! Thanks so much!

**Cari-Akira** Awww, I'm glad you could 'feel' the pain Athrun was going through. That was what I was trying to get across. Yes, the Blue Cosmos should burn in hell… still not sure how I want to deal with them yet in this story though… any suggestions?

**Kageharu Kaco** Jibril would never escape, that's very true. I liked extremist Coordinators better too – they seem more humane… and human lol I like writing chase scenes… you will find that out pretty quick. Thank you for the review!

**BlackFeatherz29** I'm glad you liked it! Don't be ashamed of it! How do you think I would feel then since I wrote it hehehe. I know what you mean. I also enjoy a good torture-comfort fic… a happy ending hehe. Thanks for the review.

**mingathur** Thanks for the message! I will reply soon!


	8. What's in a Name?

Wow!

Two chapters in two days. Well, since I'm going to be a way for a while I figured I had better post again. We are back to see poor Athrun is doing. Again, a long chapter but I don't mind. I enjoyed writing it.

Please review! I love hearing from you!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any references to it. Maloby, the prisoner, however, does belong to me. The rest is all the property of Bandai Entertainment.

**Abhorrence **

**Chapter #8: What's in a Name?**

When Athrun woke up, he groaned loudly as he felt a tight pain settle in his stomach. The world moved in sickeningly slow circles. He squeezed his eyes shut and bit his tongue to prevent himself from emptying his stomach on the hard, damp floor. Lying on his stomach, he realized that he was right where the strangers had left him – In the middle of his cold and lonely cell. He attempted to move his arms only to realize in disgust that they had left them bound behind his back. The throbbing pain in his left shoulder was paralyzing and he was almost relieved to realize that the drug he'd been given had numbed his nervous system and had somewhat dulled the pain.

His entire body ached from the abuse he'd endured but he was determined to get up. Athrun bit back the agony and the weariness he was feelingly and tried to bring his feet underneath him to push himself up. They didn't respond.

Opening his eyes, Athrun found his vision to be blurred as everything around him distorted in a black and white mess. Again, he tried to get up, only to find that his legs would not respond to his brain's commands. This time, however, he felt them move slightly, scrapping against the cold cement.

"Damn it," He muttered as he slowly raised his head. It felt abnormally heavy on his shoulders but he refused to let himself simply lie there like a carcass waiting for the vultures to swarm. His pride wouldn't stand for it. His thoughts moved slowly and he could feel the effects of whatever he had been drugged with beginning to ware off. Everything slowly came back to him – including the fiery pain in his left shoulder and he moaned softly.

Waiting a few moments, he heaved his upper body upward and willed himself to, at the very least, sit up. He felt dangerously weak and cursed them for whatever they had done to him. Inching towards the nearest wall, he let out a short sigh as he allowed his body to sag against the cool surface. He remembered being told that what they had injected him with was a sedative meaning that his nervous system and muscles had all but been deadened. It had been strong stuff and Athrun could still feel the horrid tingling sensation in his upper arm. He shuddered and leaned back, thinking.

He wondered about Cagalli, he wondered about what was happening in the outside world and he also couldn't help but wonder about what was going to happen to him. He had been in sticky situations before, but never had he been denied the full use of his body. Even if he did have a second chance to escape, he couldn't even stand yet alone run. Besides, even if he could run, where would he go? He didn't even know where he was.

"I didn't think you would ever wake up!"

Athrun winced as the unknown voice rattled his ear-drums. He turned his head ever so slightly towards the direction the voice had come from and blinked several times before he was finally able to focus. Beyond his barred cell door, was a pair of bright blue eyes that gleamed brightly from the shadowy confines of the cell across from his own. Like those of an owl watching its prey, the wide blue orbs fixed on him and refused to waver.

"Hey there, young man!"

Athrun frowned but didn't have the energy to look away. He rested his head against the wall, his eyes fluttering slowly. Everything seemed so surreal and he found himself staring blankly through his cell at the pair of sapphires that were gawking at him. As if in a daze, Athrun felt strangely disconnected from his body.

"You don't look so great, kid."

Athrun's eyes narrowed as the stranger spoke a second time. "Who are you?" Athrun flinched at the sound of his voice. It sounded hoarse, slightly slurred and completely foreign to his ears.

"Oh, I'm just another poor soul like yourself," The gruff man jeered. "Learned it's not very bright to try and take money from this lot. My friends call me Maloby. What are you here for?"

"I don't know." Athrun admitted and dropped his gaze to the floor.

Maloby wasn't convinced. "Well, they certainly don't like you for someone who has done nothing."

"I noticed."

"They're afraid of you, you know."

Athrun raised his head and furrowed his brow questionably.

Maloby laughed and pressed his face further into the bars of his cell. His unruly gray hair hung over his shoulders and he was dressed in a grungy shirt and a pair of torn pants. The old man smiled, revealing a set of nicotine-stained, croaked teeth. "Usually a good thrashing is enough to subdue a prisoner. You put up a hell of a fight, boy, and caused a lot of trouble. In some twisted way, them drugging you demonstrates just how wary they are of you and what your capable of. Take it as a compliment."

To be deprived of the normal usage of one's body and to be left to feeling queasy and ill could hardly be considered flattering. Not to mention his dislocated shoulder which pained him every time he dared to move. Athrun, however, didn't feel up to arguing the point. For someone behind bars, this man certainly was in high spirits.

"Most people such as yourself usually don't even make it to the cells," Maloby pointed out and snickered. "And those who do, don't last long."

"I see. How long have you been here?" Athrun hoped to change the subject from the fate that most likely awaited him.

"I move from here to there. Been in every prison in this territory – it's my third time here. After a couple weeks, they'll let me go. Pick-pocketing is a risky business. Sometimes you hit, sometimes you miss. When you miss, you end up like I am now."

"Oh."

Unhappy with the state of affairs, Athrun let his eyes drift shut and focused on breathing as he listened to the old man prate on about his life. Athrun's hair was damp and tangled and lank strands fell over his glazed eyes. A slight chill in the air crystallized the droplets of water in his hair and he inwardly shivered. He usually wasn't vulnerable to the cold and could only assume that the drug he had been subjected to had now made him somewhat more susceptible to the frosty and dank air that filled his lonely cell. He could feel the bruises that scarred his body from his foolish escape attempt and retaliation. Athrun could feel the ribbon of pain that had laced itself around his abdomen and he knew that if he could see; his entire body would have been painted with dark blue and black patches.

Listening to Maloby seemed to ease him somewhat and he forced himself to relax. Although he wasn't really following what the man was telling him, he found just the sound of his voice was comforting.

"Some of the delegates from space have pretty heavy pockets. Most of the time, it's worth the risk. One time, I struck gold! A clumsy Coordinator, if you can believe it, and I nailed him. Fifty thousand earth dollars! Let me tell you, I ate well that night. Who carries that kind of money in their pockets? Why I…"

Athrun didn't notice that Maloby had suddenly stopped talking. Nor did he notice the other prisoner sink back further into his cell. He had just begun to dose softly when he heard a loud 'clank' and the screeching of the door to his cell being opened. The light from the open door was blinding, and Athrun had to squint in order to make out the four silhouettes now standing before him.

Jibril smiled when he saw that his prisoner made no indications of getting up. Turning to Neo, who was standing beside him, he chuckled. "You used the stuff on him didn't you?"

"He attacked us," Neo replied simply. "The boy is dangerous. He broke Atso's arm and he tried to pull off a getaway. I had no choice."

"Hmmm," Jibril started forward but stopped when he saw the fierce glare in the young Coordinators eyes. "Well now, I trust you find your accommodations acceptable."

Athrun didn't bother with an answer. Instead, he straightened himself up against the wall and proceeded to just stare at them, hoping his anger could be seen through the intensity of his raging eyes.

He watched as the four men drew near and mentally groaned while forcing himself to remain calm. He really didn't feel up to another confrontation with these men. All he really wanted was to be left alone.

"No answer I see," Jibril mused and bent down until his line of vision matched that of his prisoner. Catching Athrun's chin in his hand, he squeezed ever so slightly. "I know you can talk."

Enraged, Athrun tried to pull back from the repulsive man but again found that his dulled sensed and sluggish reflexes wouldn't allow it. Instead, he averted his gaze and chose to ignore him.

Jibril frowned and released Athrun, leaving his hand print on the young man's pale skin. "At first I didn't really care about you," The man told him as he paced about him teasingly, noting the way Athrun's eyes followed him warily. "In fact, I planned on killing you but then I started wondering. Why would someone of such high stature such as Miss. Cagalli be in the company of a simple Coordinator. That's when I started thinking that maybe you aren't merely an average Coordinator. Perhaps you are more valuable than I might have first thought."

Again, Athrun said nothing.

"What is your name, young man?"

When Athrun still didn't speak, Neo stepped forward and whipped out an overly familiar vial from his coat pocket and flashed it before the youth's eyes. "I suggest you answer him."

Biting his lip to refrain from expressing any sort of weakness, Athrun remembered the pain he had experienced at these man's hands only a few hours ago and nodded slightly. "Alex Dino." He muttered under his breath.

He wasn't expecting it so it came as a shock when Jibril backhanded him across his face, whipping his head violently to the left and splitting his bottom lip. Tasting blood, Athrun licked his lips and looked up at the man furiously. He hadn't been struck like that since… he chose to block out that memory.

"Don't lie to me," Jibril warned, his good nature suddenly vanishing. "I already know your first name is Athrun. I want to know who you are."

"You haven't told me who you are," Athrun shot back with equal vigor. "Why should I oblige?"

"Because you are our prisoner, you stupid, little fool," Neo answered. "This isn't a discussion. You will tell us what we want to know. If you don't, things will go very badly for you." He pulled out the needle from the vial and held it up for emphasis. He smiled when he saw Athrun shift uncomfortably.

"You are a prisoner of the Blue Cosmos," Jibril told him firmly and chuckled when he saw the boy's eye widen with recognition. "I see you have heard of us. Now, what is your name? I will not ask you again, Athrun…"

Biting his lip, Athrun stubbornly refused to give an answer.

"I can see you're the obstinate type," Jibril couldn't help but sound impressed. "I do, however, have questions that need answering and I will get what I want from you – one way or another."

Athrun remained silent, unmoved by such threats. He knew this man would keep pushing until he got what he wanted regardless of how severely he hurt him. He also knew he could endure a lot of torment. He'd always been careless with his life and had sometimes paid the price for it. The longer he withheld information, the longer these men might keep him alive…especially if they thought he was valuable. Perhaps someone would find him. At the moment, that seemed to be his only hope.

"Nobody cares," Jibril continued, grinning devilishly when he saw the boy's eyes narrow. "You're nothing to Orb and certainly not worth much in space. I can think of at least 100 people who would pay for the privilege to run someone like _you_ through." He paused to examine the boy, hoping for a reaction. He got none.

Athrun stayed impassive. He knew that when saying '_like you'_ the man was addressing the fact that he was a Coordinator. His eyes shone with anger as they burned a hole through the deranged man. It was as if he didn't care one way or another what this man was saying to him.

"You have a lot of enemies here, boy," Jibril added. "Every one of them wants you dead. I heard you made quit a scene earlier."

"You've the opportunity right now," Athrun dared to point out. He was beginning to get annoyed. "And I can't stop you."

"Oh, I know," Jibril chucked and with one swift movement, he grabbed Athrun's chin again, forcing him to look him in the eye. Athrun did so without hesitation. "And I will, but at the moment, I need you alive."

"Why?"

"I'm asking the questions," Again, Jibril let go of the boy's face and stepped back, crossing his arms. "Your name, Athrun. Now."

"Athrun…" The third man who had entered repeated the name to himself before he jolted upright. "Wait a minute. Athrun, that name… I remember there was an Athrun who fought with Orb during the war against us," His gaze locked on the inebriated youth. "There was also an Athrun involved in the destruction of Heliopolis…. I remember hearing that Athrun Zala was the pilot of one of the mobile suits stolen from there."

"Otto, what are you saying?" Neo asked.

"This," Otto pointed an accusing finger directly at the prisoner. "This is Athrun Zala! Who else could it be?"

Jibril brought a hand to his chin, considering what Otto's words before glancing down at his young prisoner. The boy gave no signs that would have confirmed his statement. "The ZAFT Ex-Chairman's son? Well, that certainly _is _a fine catch. I can see why Miss. Cagalli would want to have you in her company."

"Go to hell." Athrun shot back and was rewarded with another harsh slap to the face. This time, the blow sent Athrun crashing down on his left side. White agony shot up his dislocated shoulder and a sharp cry escaped his lips before he was able to snap his jaw shut.

"A filthy mouth," Jibril nodded. "Yes, he certainly is Patrick Zala's son."

Athrun cursed and tried to sit back up only to find that the effort was grueling. The Blue Cosmos members all watched, seemingly amused, as the boy fought with the effects of the drug and the pain of his shoulder to right himself.

"Many people had family on Heliopolis," Jibril pointed out. "And many people were upset when nobody was convicted for its destruction. Orb said that all of those responsible were dead."

"They are," Athrun retorted shortly. "They died during the war."

"And yet you are still alive?"

Taken back, Athrun's eyes widened as he shook his head. "No, I wasn't responsible for what happened to it."

"You were there were you not?"

"Yes but…"

"Then how can you not be responsible?"

"We cannot change the past," Athrun muttered, bitterly. "All we can do is prevent the same things from happening again. Trying to resurrect sensitivities will only make matters worse."

"Do you honestly believe that people are interested in peace?" Jibril demanded. "Do you truly believe that Miss. Cagalli cares about _you_?"

Athrun chose to remain silent.

"She knows that you're here," The Blue Cosmos leader continued. "And she doesn't care. She said herself that she could care less if you died. Don't think you are serving her by remaining silent."

Athrun glanced up him, his emerald eyes blazing dangerously. "I don't serve anyone. I'm not a soldier anymore."

His remark earned him another harsh slap. Athrun flinched but didn't make a sound.

"She doesn't love you." Jibril's words were like ice and had they come from anyone else, Athrun might have considered the possibility of believing him. Coming from this man, however, was a sea of lies and Athrun knew that he was only trying to drown him in his deception. He was toying with him and his words had no truth to them.

"I hardly see how you can comment on things you don't understand."

"I know Cagalli," Jibril told him. "She is a woman of action. If she truly cared about you do you not think that she would have you out of here by now? Trust me, she doesn't' give a damn about what happens to you."

Athrun simply shrugged, his frosty glare growing colder. "You obviously don't know her very well then."

"Perhaps with time you will come to realize that what I am saying is the truth."

"I doubt that."

"Don't make this any harder on yourself," Jibril warned. "Nobody can help you but me. How can you not be responsible if you were there? How many more of you are hiding in Orb? Answer my questions and you may live a little longer. "

"I'm not stupid," Athrun shot back. "Don't you think I realize that if I did answer all your questions you would have no further reason to keep me alive? You said yourself you needed me alive. You're not going to kill me, not yet at least, whether I talk or not."

"Don't tempt me," Jibril's nostrils flared, his patience was wearing thin. "It was because of people like you that Heliopolis went down."

"They should never have been making those mobile suits there in the first place," Athrun's response was sharp. "They made themselves a target."

Jibril shrugged. "I doubt that those who had family on Heliopolis and its survivors will see it that way. Orb said that there was nobody left to blame for the incident yet they were hiding you from all of those who might have wanted to see justice be done!"

"Such a noble delinquent," Athrun's quiet yet sarcastic words were coated with venom. "That's rare."

Jibil felt his blood pressure rising, breaking the boiling point. This boy had a sharp tongue and it was beginning to push him over the edge. Jibril's eyes were wild as he shoved his face into Athrun's, all while shouting at the boy. "The people of Earth will never accept Orb now that they know they were protecting war criminals like you! Perhaps now we will have the chance to bring those accountable for their crimes to justice! Isn't the right, boy!"

"NO!" Athrun spat viciously in Jibril's face and forced him to rear back. A torrent of emotion surged through him as he thought about the horrors that event had caused for him and so many other people.

Unable to restrain himself, Neo nodded to Otto who swiftly reached down and hulled Athrun up to his feet and slammed him against the wall. Athrun gasped in pain and commanded his legs to kick out. Again, they did nothing. In fact, to his surprise and horror, they felt boneless, like jello, and had it not been for Otto holding up upright, Athrun would have sunk back to the floor.

Athrun hissed and glared daggers at the man holding him but as Neo approached him, Athrun froze. His breathing stopped. He knew what was coming but was powerless against it. Wishing he could just sink through the wall and escape this nightmare, Athrun tried his best to hide the fear that shone so brightly behind his eyes.

"Why are you doing this!" He half-croaked, half-shouted at Jibril. "What the hell do you want from me!"

"Sadly, nothing," Jibril answered. "I just need you alive. For now."

Athrun cursed and grit his teeth as he felt a familiar prick in his left arm and was then dropped to the floor. The fluid coursed through his veins and Athrun pulled uselessly at his bound hands in a pathetic attempt to break free, unaware that he had rubbed the skin right off of his now-bloody wrists. In moments, his mind clouded up as everything around him began to blur together. He couldn't move, couldn't think and groaned as the pain intensified in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't take much more of this.

The last thing he heard was Jibril's laugher, echoing in the back of the haze that had become his mind. He groaned and tried to move away from the cruel laugher but his body had gone completely limp. He wasn't even aware of the pain that had flared in his damaged shoulder.

_She doesn't love you…_

Moments later, Athrun blacked out.

Jibril stared at the unconscious boy at his feet, thinking before he turned to Neo. "You know, you shouldn't be so generous with that stuff. Giving him too much might kill him. We wouldn't want that."

Neo sensed that his leader was being serious and frowned. He looked up at him blankly and put the needle back in his jacket. "Sir?"

"We can use this boy to discredit Orb," Jibril thought out loud as he turned and left the cell. Otto, Neo and the fourth man followed, unsure what their commander was implying.

"How so?" Otto asked. "Orb isn't going to care if we knock off one lousy Coordinator."

"The people of the Earth might," Jibril explained. "If we appeal to the victims of the Heliopolis disaster and make it look like Orb was protecting war criminals then it could be very easy to turn negotiations between the Earth and the PLANTS sour. That would be a shame now wouldn't it?" He laughed, his words dripping with sarcasm.

"Are you going to meet Miss. Cagalli tomorrow?" Neo inquired. "What about the money?"

"This might be even better," Jibril replied as he closed and locked the door to Athrun's cell. "Though, I think I will meet up with her… just for kicks."

With that, he took off down the hall with his three friends in toe. With the information that they had, if used correctly, they could do a lot more damage than what a few purchased weapons with money from Orb could. In time, they could and would break Athrun Zala. In time, he was certain that he could delude the boy and get him to talk. If there were others still alive that could be held accountable for Heliopolis' downfall, he would soon know.

**TBC…**

I hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter we hop back over to Kira and co. to see how Lacus' plan works out. Please let me know what you think ok? Dearka and Yzak will be arriving soon in a couple of chapters. Have a good weekend everyone! Oh, I changed my name because I was getting tired of writing it out… it's the only and last time I am going to do that… I hope you all don't mind.

Until next time,

Krilyn

**Slightly Sinister Sinestra** Wow! You read this story like an open book lol. It would be really boring if it was that easy wouldn't it? Please update your story soon!

**Cari-Akira: **You grossed me out to lol. That's okay though. I will take everything you said into consideration. I haven't decided what I want to do yet… not that far into the story. I'm sooo happy you like it though and I LOVE your reviews! They are so much fun to read!

**Kageharu Kaco**Thanks for tips about the names! I haven't seen the series yet so I am relying on secondary sources. From what I can tell, Jibril and Yuuna are both rather… umm… spineless sods eh? Take care!


	9. No Deal

Hi!

This chapter was really hard to write so I hope you enjoy it. Please review, it means a lot to me and I need ideas! I don't know how to end my story! I'm suffering from major writer's block so any ideas will help me a lot. Thanks and enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any other references to the series.

**Abhorrence**

**Chapter #9: No Deal**

"This is ridiculous," Cagalli muttered as she drew up her coat against the cold breeze that seeped through her winter jacket. "It's 12:10am… Jibril should be here by now." She glanced up at Kira worriedly. "You don't think something happened do you?"

"I don't know," Kira answered in truth and stepped up behind his sister. He could see that her teeth were chattering though he couldn't tell whether or not it was due to the cold or concern for Athrun. Rubbing his hands up and down her arms, he tried to warm her. He watched as the plume of his breath vanished in the frosty air and looked up sleepily at the sign above his head that read "Aua's Pub."

"Are you sure this is the right place?"

"Oh course I'm sure," Cagalli snapped. "You think I would forget something_ that_ important?"

"I didn't mean that," Kira was quick to defend himself. "I'm just worried – that's all."

Cagalli's expression softened as she gently raised a hand to brush some of the snow off of Kira's head. "I know," She whispered, sadly. "We all are."

For a few moments there was a peaceful silence as the siblings watched the snow fall from the blackened sky. The moon shone brightly and the street lights added welcome illumination to the lonely alley the two found themselves in. Unconsciously, Cagalli dug her hands in her pockets and felt around to make sure that she still had the check Lacus had given her. Feeling the crumpled paper against her fingers, she forced herself to relax.

"You really like him, don't you?" Kira asked suddenly causing Cagalli to start in surprise.

"What?" She scowled. "This is hardly the time to be discussing things like that."

"I just thought that you would want to know that…" Kira hesitated before finishing. "That the feelings you have for him… are mutual."

Cagalli blinked. She and Athrun had been inseparable for the past year yet in spite of everything, not once had either of them said a formal, _I love you._ Not once had either or them dared to discuss the possibility of a future together. The focus had always been to live for the moment but deep down, Cagalli had always known how much Athrun loved her.

"He… he told you that?"

Kira nodded lightly. "Last time I saw him. I just thought you might want to know that… regardless of what might happen tonight."

Cagalli shuddered and turned away, feeling as if she might cry. Her heart tightened and she hugged herself tightly. "Athrun…" She whispered to the darkness and almost wished that he would just appear from the depths of the alley and draw her close to him, telling her that everything would be ok.

Sensing a sudden change in Cagalli's mood, Kira swallowed and shifted in an attempt to get her to look at him. Cagalli refused and pulled further away. "You should probably go hide, Kira," She told him huskily. "We can't risk having someone see you here with me. I'm supposed to be alone."

"Oh… ok…" Kira gradually made his way across the alley to where two buildings joined. There was a gap in between them and Kira managed to wiggle himself in between the two. Out of the watchful light illuminating from the street lights, he seemingly vanished, swallowed by the night. He wriggled back as far as he could and held his breath.

Cagalli sighed and leaned against the pub while crossing her arms impatiently. Time seemed to slow as she checked her watch again. 12:15am.

"I'm so terribly sorry."

"Gah!" Cagalli jumped and spun around to find herself face to face with none other than Jibril. His dark eyes glimmered as he smiled widely at her. She tensed, feeling the hair on the back of her neck stand at end as she dug into her pocket and quickly pulled out Lacus' check.

"You're late." She hissed, her words like toxic and she held out the check. "Here is a check for 15 million as you requested. Where is Athrun like you promised?"

"Oh yes… well that's what I came to talk to you about," Jibril circled her like a shark, his teeth bared in a cruel grin. "A few things came up."

"I don't understand," Cagalli felt her grasp on the situation beginning to slip. Her hand dropped as her eyes followed him as he continued to move about her like one would their prey. "You said 15 million dollars and I have it right here. Where is Athrun?"

Jibril laughed, his chortling vile to Cagalli's ears and she cringed. "You are sneaky, Miss. Cagalli. You didn't tell me that I was holding Athrun_ ZALA_ prisoner - one of the few individuals alive and responsible for the destruction of Heliopolis. Did that just slip your mind?"

Cagalli's breath hitched as her eyes fixed on the dark purple orbs of the Blue Cosmos leader. She licked her dry lips and opened her mouth, choosing her words very, very carefully. A cold breeze swept over and she shivered from more than the just the chill. "Athrun was not responsible for that – not that it really matters. What difference does it make who he is? Fact is, you grabbed an innocent man off of the street and are holding him for ransom. All of which is against the law."

Kira watched from the crevice in between the two buildings as Cagalli and the stranger exchanged words. He couldn't make out everything and squinted. The darkness was making it difficult to see and the two of them had moved out from beneath the light of the street lamps that hovered over them. Tensing against the icy brick against his back, Kira's eyes moved wildly as he monitored the area for anyone else. Surely Athrun couldn't be far.

"That is where you are wrong," Jibril out-stretched his arms, his hands resting against the wall of Aua's pub, and forced Cagalli up against it. Leaning into her, Jibril sighed as his left hand caught a lock of her blonde hair in between his fingers. He watched her openly shudder and grinned, playing nonchalantly with the golden tress of hair. "Knowing who your friend is makes all the difference in the world. Now that Athrun and I are better acquainted, I've decided that I don't want to part with his company just yet. In other words, you can keep your money."

"Wha… what…" Cagalli gasped before quickly recovering. "No! You can't! We had a deal!"

"That's right," Jibril chirped. "We _had_ a deal but now, we don't."

"You're sick!" Cagalli shrieked and lashed at Jibril. Her fist caught him above the chin and he staggered back. Recoiling, Jibril raised a hand to wipe the blood from his now-bleeding lip and frowned.

Cagalli lunged at him like a cat to deal a second blow but Jibril was ready for her this time. He caught her wrist in mid-air and twisted. She gasped and jerked backward but he held on.

"Athrun never hurt you! Why can't you just leave him alone?"

"Because he is a Coordinator!" Jibril raged. "He deserves to be punished!"

Up to this point, Kira had remained silent, watching the scene unfold. The man was shouting hysterically at Cagalli and he could only assume that things were not going well. He considered intervening but hesitated. When he saw the man raise a hand to his sister though, all he saw was red and leapt into action.

A loud cry tore from his throat as he shot out of the darkness from where he had been hiding and tackled the man to the ground. Cagalli screamed and fell backward into a drift, spraying the other two with silver snowflakes as they wrestled violently in the snow. Kira dodged a wild fist and scrambled to straddle the man and pin him.

Kira didn't waste a second, knowing that he'd loose his advantage if Jibril ever came to his senses and landed a solid blow to Jibril's left eye. Jibril was taller and had a further reach than Kira and Kira knew all too well from experiences with Athrun the disadvantages of fighting someone who was taller than you.

Struggling, Jibril twisted and turned beneath Kira but despite his efforts, Kira was too quick and managed to straddle him. Jibril had no place to go. Flaying his arms up, he fought to grab hold of Kira's flailing fists to prevent any further injury but grimly discovered that Kira was a man driven and all he could do was block the blows that were raining down on him.

The shock of Kira's attack had quickly worn off but the reasoning behind it still eluded him. What was going on? His expression darkened as he realized that Cagalli must have brought him along. She hadn't been alone.

"I ought to kill you!" Kira sputtered as he viciously backhanded Jibril across the face, splitting both his lips. "Don't you dare touch my sister!"

Bringing his fist back, Kira trembled with rage as he brought it down and Jibril just managed to jerk his head to the side to avoid taking the brute of the blow in the jaw. Instead of hitting its intended target, Kira's fist connected squarely with Jibril's upper shoulder and almost immediately Jibril's left arm fell to the ground, numbed by the pain that had seared through the entire limb.

Jibril gritted out a curse that couldn't be heard as he brought up his right leg and wrapped it around Kira's own. He pulled hard causing Kira to jerk upwards and taking advantage of the moment that was perhaps his only chance to escape his vulnerable position, Jibril rolled out from beneath his attacker.

Again he scrambled to regain his footing but failed when his left leg bucked, bringing him back down to his knees. Wincing, Jibril ground his teeth together and with a final attempt, pushed himself to his feet.

"Have you gone crazy?" He shouted at Kira as the boy rapidly rebounded and prepared for a second assault. Limping backwards, Jibril held out his hands in defense and shook his head. "What's wrong with you?"

"Kira, stop it!" Cagalli shouted and leapt to her feet. Franticly, she rushed forward to intercept Kira as he lunged at Jibril, his fists flying. "Stop it!"

"Don't you ever try to hurt Cagalli again!" Kira roared, ignoring Cagalli's plea. "What have you done with our friend!"

"What?" Jibril frowned and winced as he could feel the skin around his eye already beginning to bruise. Stumbling backward, while clutching his left shoulder painfully, Jibril took in the faces of the enraged boy and the distraught young girl.

"You heard me!" Kira snarled and pointed menacing at him. "Tell us where Athrun is right now! Otherwise, I'll break you apart!"

"Oh, I understand," Jibril sneered as he moved away from them. "You're another friend of Athrun's aren't you? Well you both may as well forget about him! You want to know what's going to happen to your precious Athrun?" He threw his head back and laughed before focusing again on the two before him.

"What are you going to do to him!" Cagalli spat and as she moved forward, Kira held out a hand to stop her.

"He's going to die! When I'm through with him, I will put him out of his misery!"

There was an icy silence between the Blue Cosmos leader and the twins before Kira stepped forward. "You can't be serious. If you do anything I swear I'll…"

"You'll what?" Jibril rolled his eyes as he distanced himself, fading from their line of vision. "Kill me? Do you really think that would save your friend?"

Cagalli's bottom lip quivered as the realization of just how powerless she really was slammed into her like a physical blow. Her legs suddenly buckled and she dropped to her hands and knees. Sinking the snow, she shook her head as tears of frustration began to gather in the corner of her eyes. The tiny droplets froze as they rolled down her cheeks and she cursed her helplessness.

"Cagalli…" Kira dropped down beside her and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close. "Cagalli… it's ok… we'll find another way…"

"There… there is no other way," She cried and buried her head in his chest. No longer able to control herself, she sobbed openly into his coat as her lost future with Athrun poured out of her eyes. "If we try anything, they will kill him."

Looking up at him despairingly, she attempted to blink back her tears. "What could they possibly want with him?"

"I… I don't know," Kira mumbled and helped her to her feet. "Come on, we should get you warmed up."

Cagalli didn't argue and let Kira direct her into Aua's pub and out of the cold. Having fallen in the snow, she had just now realized that the snow, that had managed to find its way onto her clothes, had melted and she shivered.

In the small eatery on the edge of the town, the two lonely figures stumbled over to the bar, knowing they wouldn't eat but requested a warm mug of tea to drink each. Cagalli took her beverage over to a table and nearly fell into the chair, exhausted inside and out. Quietly, Kira sat beside her and the two off them watched the TV above them as it displayed the local news.

Cagalli hadn't slept well the previous night and the late-night air had chilled her through and through on her way over to meet Jibril. Wriggling out of her coat, she clutched at her tea, hunching her body to try and get nearer to the warm steam emanating from the hot liquid.

"Well, I am surprised to see you here."

Cagalli jolted upright and spun around to see Unato Saran and his son Yuuna gazing down upon them. She gasped, taken back by their sudden appearance. "What… Representative Saran… what are you doing here?"

The large man wore a heavy grin on his face though it immediately vanished when he caught sight of Kira. Warily, Kira dropped his gaze and pretended to be preoccupied with his drink.

"After your call, I decided it might be best if I come and ensure that these negotiations carry on smoothly. I was also informed that you decided not to go to the assembly today." Unato stated firmly as he sat across the table from Cagalli. "We had no intention of meeting up with you here. We just came by to get a quick drink. You really shouldn't be up at this hour, Cagalli."

"That's right," Yunna piped up and flashed Kira a smug grin. "Especially when you don't have anyone strong enough to protect you."

"She was with me," Kira fired back, feeling threatened. He straightened and shot both of the newcomers the nastiest look he could. "There was nothing to be concerned about."

Yuuna just laughed and shook his head while taking a seat beside his father. "You haven't changed at all, Kira Yamato."

"Neither have you."

Cagalli sighed as the two continued to exchange insults and gazed down into her tea. Staring back at her was the shell of someone she used to know. A confidant, self-righteous young woman with the world ahead of her. Now, all she saw when she gazed down at her reflection was emptiness. Her eyes seemed void of life and she slumped her shoulders in defeat. She couldn't give up on Athrun but… but there just didn't seem to be any way of…

"I'm sorry about your friend," Unato said suddenly, pulling her out of her retched thoughts. "I hope you can understand our position on this and why we couldn't provide the money for the ransom."

"Oh course," Cagalli muttered icily. "Thinking of what's best for everyone."

_Everyone but Athrun…_ She added to herself and took quick sip of her tea. The warmth of the liquid soothed her throat and she did find that she felt marginally better than she had before.

"When father told me that there was trouble, I was so worried," Yuuna announced, causing Kira to roll his eyes. "I'm just relieved that you aren't hurt. I would have fought them all off myself if it meant saving you."

"How flatteringly." Cagalli grumbled and gaped at him when Yuuna reached over and placed his hand on hers. She watched in disbelief as his hand closed around hers and he held it tightly. Her eyes widened as she felt the heat of his hand penetrate her skin and she blenched in disgust. She felt like she had just been burned. Athrun had taken her hand many times but never had it felt as awkward as this.

"You know how much I care about you." Yuuna continued and licked his lips suggestively.

"I can show you which way the Blue Cosmos went," Kira told him, seeing Cagalli's obvious discomfort. "Perhaps if you are feeling bold, you can fight them all off and leave my sister alone."

"I wasn't talking to you." Yuuna snorted.

Unato simply watched as if amused by it all. It was common knowledge that Cagalli had been involved with Athrun Zala, much to his disliking. After leaving ZAFT and the death of his father, Athrun had very little stature or influence behind his name and Unato couldn't comprehend for the life of him why Cagalli was so drawn to the ex-soldier. From what he could tell, it would have been a disaster had the two of them decided to commit to one anther fully. He almost felt fortunate that the Blue Cosmos had 'dealt' with that 'problem' for him. It was almost too convenient.

He smiled at his son as Yuuna continued to stroke Cagalli's hand lovingly. A union between Yuuna and Cagalli would do much, much more in solidifying his power in Orb. The two had so much to bring to one another. Rich, famous, influential, Yuuna had so much more to offer Cagalli… and bringing such a notable figure into his family would help his own personal status within the Orb nation.

"Look," Kira scowled. "Cagalli's been through enough and doesn't need you of all people harassing her."

"I'm not harassing, I'm comforting!"

"You're something alright," Kira grumbled.

Cagalli tuned out of the conversation and glanced up at the television as it played the current news. She didn't know what had possessed her to look up at that particular time but she did. Her voice caught in her throat when her mind registered what it was she was seeing.

"I'd watch your mouth, Yamato."

"Back off, Yuuna…"

"Shut up!" She barked and abruptly stood up to listen to what the broadcaster was saying."

_"This just in. The Blue Cosmos have made a public statement regarding the abduction of Athrun Zala, which has just recently been confirmed. Authorities were unaware of the Coordinator's absence but the Blue Cosmos have just declared that they learned through unknown sources that Orb was harboring this young man, whom they also say was involved in the Heliopolis Tragedy. Demanding justice, the group claims that Orb was unprepared to pursue those accountable for the disaster that occurred only one year ago and they are challenging Orb's position as being impartial. Local Earth Force authorities are investigating at this very moment and hopefully we will learn more as the investigation proceeds."_

"Oh… oh my god," Cagalli dropped back in her chair, thunderstruck.

"Athrun…" Kira whispered into the air as the broadcast switched over to a new story.

"They are going to use this to discredit Orb." Cagalli muttered, thinking out loud.

Kira turned to his sister. "How can they? It wasn't Athrun's fault all of that happened at Heliopolis."

Unato shook his head and leapt up. His hands slammed down on the table in fury, knocking over Kira's drink and causing both Kira and Cagalli to jump out of their seats. "Well this is just great!" He groaned and motioned to Yuuna.

The younger man nodded and scurried over beside his father as the hefty man pushed past the tables and chairs towards the door. Whirling around, he pointed a finger at Cagalli and shook it at her furiously. "I hope you're satisfied! Now I am going to have to do some serious damage control! Damn it all! You know, it would almost be easier if that friend of yours would just die! As it is, he's creating a lot of trouble!"

With that, Unato left, banging the door shut behind him as Yuuna quickly followed. He threw Cagalli one last smile before he too disappeared back into the night.

Unato's words rattled in Cagalli's mind and she winced inwardly. Now she understood. This is what Jibril had meant when he had said that he wasn't ready to let go of Athrun just yet. Not only was he going to destroy their relationship, he was going to try to destroy the bridges of trust that Orb had created between the Coordinators and the Naturals.

Kira watched as Cagalli pulled Lacus' check out from her pocket for the second time that night. She stared at it for a few minutes as if in a trance. Her next move shocked him. Right then and there, in the middle of the lonely pub, Cagalli ripped up the check into pieces and let them slowly drift to the floor.

Things had somehow managed to go from bad to much, much worse.

**TBC**

Well, I hope you liked it! Please review! I need ideas and suggestions. Thanks to those who did review. You guys are great! And a special thank you to Kageharu Kaco for helping me with the names of Mr. Saran and his son.

Again, let me know what you think!

Until next time!

Krilyn

Slightly Sinister Sinestra: Yeah, I like my pickpocket guy! Hehehhe, he'll pop up again don't worry and he does become important later. THANKS FOR UPDATING YOUR STORY!

Kageharu Kaco: I'm sorry about the spelling. I read the chapters over and over but still some mistakes seem to sneak through. If you find them, please let me know so I can change them and everyone won't have to suffer through my poor grammar. Hehehe. No, I haven't seen Destiny yet but I've heard what happens… I must say I'm a little disappointed that Athrun and Cagalli don't stay together… cries anywayz, hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	10. Trace

Hi everyone!

Thanks for the wonderful reviews! I really hope you like this chapter – it is a little choppy but the next one will be much smoother as we return to Athrun. Please review – I love hearing from you all! Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any references made to either series.**

**Abhorrence**

**Chapter #10: Trace**

When Kira and Cagalli returned to the hotel, they found Lacus still awake and waiting for them. Lacus was seated on the side of one of the beds, her pink haro in her hands. Pure worry was etched into her features and the moment she heard the door to the room open, she turned.

Eyes sparkling with hope, her heart went out to Cagalli when only she and Kira stepped into the room. Her cerulean eyes continued to search beyond them but it only took one look at either of the siblings' faces to know that things had in fact not gone well.

She rose to her feet as Cagalli marched past her, throwing her coat to the ground. "Did you hear?"

"Yes, I did," Lacus told her, unsure of what else to say.

"The Blue Cosmos are going to try to shame and disgrace Orb by making up some stupid lies about us harboring war criminals. About us siding with the PLANTS and disregarding the crimes committed by their people during the war. Athrun is going to be their center piece which is why they broke off the deal."

"At least we know he's alive," Kira offered. He had hoped to perhaps brighten the mood but failed miserably as both girls simply dropped their gaze. "And Mr. Saran said that he'd do all he could to control the damage to Orbs' reputation."

"That's not the point," Cagalli retorted. "What was a simple abduction has now become a public-relations disaster. This could seriously damage the trust that the people of earth have for us."

"I know that but we can't undo what's been done."

"Poor Athrun," Lacus sighed. "I hope he's ok."

"Even if we could find him," Kira hesitated before finishing. "The people of earth might pressure Orb into putting him on trial for war crimes because of his involvement at Heliopolis."

"Hopefully, it won't come to that," Lacus shook her head. "None of that was his fault and laws are made to protect the innocent."

"Not always," Cagalli muttered and sat down beside Lacus. "In any case, this still doesn't solve our problem. Athrun is still missing and now Orb's neutrality is being threatened publicly."

Knock. Knock.

The three looked up as the door suddenly burst open and in stepped two figures, both covered with snow. The first one shook himself almost violently as he brushed the snow from his shoulders and flung his coat to the floor. Removing his hat, his glossy, silver hair lightly brushed his shoulders. The scar the marred his face was unmistakable and Kira's eyes widened in disbelief. The second man simply shrugged his coat off his shoulders and grinned.

"Well now," The second one mused and crossed his arms. "Aren't you three a sad-looking sight."

"Dearka? Yzak?" Lacus blinked. "You made it."

Dearka snickered and elbowed Yzak. "Well, we saw the news and poor Yzak here was so worried about our old leader he convinced me to come along and try to bail him out of trouble… again." When he saw that nobody was laughing, he quickly added. "Kira called us and told us he suspected trouble two days ago and on our way over we heard the announcement from the Blue Cosmos."

Lacus and Cagalli both exchanged surprised looks before turning their attention to Kira. His face flushed and he shifted nervously. "I didn't want to say anything because I wasn't sure whether or not they'd make it." He explained briskly. He ended his brief explanation with an uneasy chuckle.

"Shut up Dearka!" Yzak fired him a warning glare, urging him to keep quiet. "You know I don't give a damn what happens to Zala. I just want to make sure that if anyone gets to kill him, it's me."

Everyone couldn't help but smile as the two ZAFT soldiers invited themselves in. Dearka strutted across the floor and rewarded Cagalli with one of his first class smiles before continuing the story. "They've been broadcasting the news about Athrun all across the PLANTS."

"So… you're here to rescue Athrun?" Cagalli raised an eyebrow, skeptically. It was somewhat hard to fathom since she was well aware of the complicated relationship Athrun had had with his team members. "I didn't think you guys were that close."

"It's not a question of being close," Dearka answered briskly. "I guess I shouldn't expect you to understand since you were never a _real_ soldier. Regardless as to how we may feel about him, it is our duty to help a fellow soldier should he come under attack. It's in our code of conduct."

"I just want to see his face when he finds out that we had to bail him out again," Yzak snorted from the corner. Despite his coarse words, everyone knew that Yzak was just as worried about their friend as they were. He just had his own way of showing it. "Just pulled off the street? He's an embarrassment to the ZAFT army."

"Before you start jumping all over Athrun, we need to find him," Lacus spoke the truth and looked over at Cagalli, sympathetically. "Maybe we should to go the authorities after all."

"They already know about it," Cagalli pointed out and sighed. "It wouldn't make a difference."

Kira's eyes narrowed as he listened to the other four exchange words. He was grateful that the two ZAFT pilots had come as he had asked but it still didn't solve the problem of finding Athrun. Glancing around the room, his eyes narrowed when he spotted the radio that was left discarded on the dresser in the corner of the room. Shifting his gaze to the left, a thought struck him and immediately he went for his duffle bag.

"Kira?"

He didn't answer Lacus as he unzipped the bag, pulled out his laptop and hurried over to the radio. Disconnecting the power outlet to his computer, he began to reconnect his laptop to the radio. Setting it up so the power to his computer came from the radio, he continued to work as he felt the others crowd around him.

"What are you doing?" Cagalli asked.

"I can read the signals that come from the radio on my computer," Kira explained as he fiddled with the connections. "If the Blue Cosmos make another broadcast, I might be able to trace it."

"So what?" Yzak demanded. "What does that do for us?"

"It may give us an idea as to where Athrun is," Kira replied shortly and dared a quick glance up at his sister. "The only problem is that we'll have to wait for them to make another move before I can track where they are broadcasting from."

A wave of tension swept over the group as all eyes fell on the Orb princess. Cagalli's eyes narrowed as the full realization of what Kira was saying slammed into her, causing her to stagger back in disbelief.

"You mean we're going to just sit here and do nothing! We're just going to wait around and hope that the Blue Cosmos don't kill him before they make another public announcement! That's the stupidest idea that's ever come out of your mouth!"

"Well, what other choices do we have?" Dearka retorted, leaping, much to his own surprise, to Kira's defense. "It's better then just wondering around and doing nothing."

"I think we should be out there looking for him!"

"Where are we going to look?"

"The locals might know something! We could ask them!"

"You really think they would talk?" Dearka scoffed before shaking his head. "Things are heating up outside. Everyone is flipping out about Orb never laying charges on people who they believe destroyed Heliopolis. Nobody was ever convicted for that and there are a lot of people who want retribution. I can just see it now."

Dearka made a gesture as though he was about to speak to an imaginary person in front of him. "Oh Miss? Have you heard about Athrun Zala? The presumed war criminal? My friends and I are trying to bust him out – do you know where the Blue Cosmos might be keeping him." Dearka snorted and shook his head. "That's not going to work."

Cagalli knew the others were right and with a frustrated sigh, she turned on her heals and stormed over to the nearest bed and flopped over. "Fine," She grumbled. "We'll wait."

Dearka straightened and grinned, knowing that he had won the little dispute. He stretched his arms and yawned sleepily before licking his lips. "I don't know about you guys but I'm beat. Where can I sleep?"

There was a long pause as everyone exchanged nervous glances before all eyes focused on the two double beds in the room. Lacus felt her face redden and turned away when she saw Kira look over at her.

"Well…"

"Lacus and I will share one bed," Cagalli declared and pointed at Dearka and Yzak. "You two can share the other one."

"What!" The two men gasped in horror. "Are you insane!"

"What about me?" Kira asked weakly from the corner of the room where he had set up his laptop.

"You," Cagalli nodded towards Kira. "Are going to be on 24h watch over the radio to see if there are any other broadcasts by the Blue Cosmos."

Kira was about to protest but the look in Cagalli's eyes snuffed any complaints that he had wanted to make. His shoulders sagged and he turned back to the radio. "Okay."

"I'm not sleeping with Dearka," Yzak shook his head in complete defiance. Pointing a finger at the bed, he then crossed his arms. "There is no way."

"Then sleep on the floor," Dearka snapped as he made a move towards the cozy mattress. "I'm not thrilled about the idea either."

"Oh you would like that wouldn't you?" Yzak fired back and quickly jumped on the bed to lay claim to his side of it. He stretched out across it and threw his friend a warning glare. "Then you could have the bed to yourself while I slept on the hard floor!"

"Whatever," Dearka rolled his eyes as he pulled the sheets up and tucked himself into bed. "I'll see you all in the morning."

Cagalli just grunted and twisted around so that her head was buried in her pillow. She didn't want anyone to see the tears of frustration that were burning her eyes. She vaguely felt the bed lurch slightly when Lacus leaned down beside her.

That was exactly how people found her three weeks later. Twenty one days had gone by since Jibril had refused to honor the deal they had made and they had heard nothing. Cagalli had excused herself over the phone from the negotiations that were taking place and although Unato wasn't impressed, he didn't push the issue.

She felt as if she was slowly going mad. The days seemed to meld together and she hated the fact that she was helpless. It had been three weeks since Athrun had been taken and nobody had heard anything. The police hadn't found anything although she doubted they had really tried to find him. The Blue Cosmos also hadn't made any follow-up statements about their prisoner.

Several times Dearka and Yzak had gone out, against their better judgment, to try to fish out any information they could but had had little luck. Nobody knew anything or if they did, they refused to share it with them.

It was a Sunday. Lacus had left to fetch some food from the nearest store while Dearka and Yzak preoccupied themselves with trivial conversation. Cagalli simply lay on her bed, gazing up at the ceiling until her mind felt numb. She could hear the hail drumming on the roof of the hotel over the soft buzz of the radio that had been on twenty four hours a day since the moment they had decided to try to trace the signal.

"You should eat something."

Cagalli turned and noticed Lacus offering her an apple. She hadn't even heard her re-enter the room. "You're not doing anybody any favors by starving yourself."

"I'm not hungry."

"When is the last time you ate?" Lacus frowned.

"I don't know."

"Cagalli…"

"I wonder if Athrun has eaten anything since they took him," Cagalli said suddenly, causing everyone to inwardly cringe. Somehow, each one of them knew the answer to that question. Cagalli's spoken thoughts seemed to cast a dark shadow over the room and for the rest of the evening, nobody spoke.

"They say that humans can survive up to 6 weeks without food and Athrun _is _a Coordinator." Lacus explained. Her words were meant to comfort but failed miserably.

Throughout the room the soft humming of the radio could be heard over the resumed conversation of the two ZAFT pilots. Lying beside his laptop with the screen-saver on was Kira – sprawled out and barely conscious. The boy had hardly closed his eyes since they had decided to try and trace any signals they could pick up from the radio. Even for a Coordinator, three weeks with next to no sleep was pushing the limits of exhaustion and it showed. His skin had gone slightly pale and large bags hung beneath his weary eyes as he gazed blankly into the screen of his computer. His idea had seemed good at the time but now he was having second thoughts.

He was so tired. Just two hours… that was all he wanted… two hours of undisturbed rest.

His eyes began to drift shut.

"Kira!"

"Huh?" His eyes fluttered open before he jolted upright. "Wha? What?"

Glancing up he saw Cagalli looking down at him, shaking her fist. "Kira! You can't fall asleep! What if something was to come onto the radio that could help us? You would miss it!"

_Over the last few weeks we, the Blue Cosmos, have seen the desperate attempts of Orb…_

"I'm sorry!"

_… to try and cover up the fact that they have been harboring war criminals within their organization…_

"Don't you understand that Athrun is depending on us!"

"Shut up!" Dearka leapt up rushed over to where Kira was stretched out on the floor, almost pushing Cagalli right over. "This is it! This is it! Trace it back to wherever it's coming from!"

Lacus and Yzak immediately gathered around to hear the announcement. Each one silently praying that The Blue Cosmos were not coming onto the air to declare the death of their dear friend.

"Um, right," Kira straightened and focused on his computer. His fingers danced across the keys and the computer screen was changing so quickly that Cagalli couldn't make out what he was doing. She saw maps flash before her eyes, followed closely but red dots and some sort of digital code. Whatever it was, Kira seemed to understand and the other Coordinators were able to follow along with ease.

_…In spite of this, it has become clear that Orb has no interest in bringing those responsible for Heliopolis to justice thus we have decided to take matters into our own hands. We only have the people of Earth's best interests in mind and we hope that people will take this into consideration when diving into further activity with Orb. Apparently, Orb has sympathies towards ZAFT._

"Oh my god…" Cagalli gasped and turned to Lacus, her eyes also full of worry. "They… they are going to kill him! They're going to kill Athrun!"

Yzak looked over Kira's shoulder as he worked, sweat gathering on his brow. "Well?"

"They're blocking the signal," Kira bit his lip as he frantically tried to override the codes the Blue Cosmos were using to hide their broadcast signal. "I'm trying but…"

"Kira!"

Each one of them waited. They listened to the rapid typing of the keyboard as the computer screen flashed and changed before their eyes. Kira's expression hardened as he wracked his mind, using all his accumulated knowledge to trace the broadcast he knew was so crucial to saving Athrun's life.

"I got it!"

All eyes turned to Kira as he looked up at them and offered them an exhausted smile. "I know where they're broadcasting from. If Athrun is there then we know where to find him! The old M.S Administration building outside the city."

"He could already be dead," Yzak muttered under his breath. "It has been three weeks after all."

"Either way, we're going to find out." Dearka declared.

Kira nodded and as he quickly disconnected his laptop, he turned to Cagalli. She looked wrecked. He stood up and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "I promise you, one way or another, we will get Athrun out of there. Dearka, Yzak and myself will leave right now."

"Wait a minute," Cagalli pulled away. "You aren't suggesting that I wait here do you? I'm coming too!"

Kira shook his head. "It might be dangerous and Athrun wouldn't thank you for risking your life on his account."

"But… I…"

"Athrun would never forgive me if I let you come and something was to happen," Kira added as he moved past her to put on his shoes. He still looked tired but a renewed determination now dominated his features. "Lacus and you should wait here. When we find him, we will bring him back alright?"

Cagalli's shoulders slumped. "Fine," She grumbled and slopped back down on her bed for the second time. She didn't like the way she was continually being brushed aside in all of this. "Be careful."

"Yes," Lacus whispered as she stepped forward and pulled Kira into a tight embrace. Her voice was just barely above a whisper as she breathed into his ear. "Please be careful."

"Hey!" Yzak barked from the doorway. Both he and Dearka had already thrown on there coats and were now waiting impatiently for Kira to join them. "We don't have all day you know. At this rate, Athrun doesn't have a hope in hell unless we pick up the pace."

Kira gave him a quick nod and, tossing Lacus one last look, he took off after Yzak and Dearka. Was he scared of the condition he would find his friend in? Of course he was but he had made a promise to Cagalli. He had promised to bring Athrun back to her and no matter what, he would do just that.

Meanwhile, back at the Blue Cosmos headquarters Jibril and Neo were just coming to pay their favorite prisoner a visit. The boy had demonstrated remarkable resilience. They had proceeded to prod and try to pry information from him about anyone else they could use to discredit Orb through a variety of different methods - all of which had accomplished very little. Suddenly Jibril's cell-phone went off in his jacket pocket. Irritably he pulled it out and turned it on.

"Hello… yes, he is speaking… what do you want?"

Neo frowned as he watched his boss's expression. Holding a cup of water in his hand, he leaned forward to listen in. There was something strange about the way that Jibril had answered the call.

"What! Forget it! I already met with the princess and told her I'm no longer interested in money. How did you get my number? Don't think you can change my mind… what? Where she got the money? I don't know! Probably from Orb…"

Jibril straightened and his brow creased with sudden interest. "Oh really? Now that is very interesting."

Neo studied Jibril carefully as the man listened to whomever he was speaking with on the other line. It had to be someone important otherwise he would have simply hung up. After a couple minutes, Jibril spoke again.

"I had no idea the kid had enemies in such high places… yes, I think we can arrange a deal…"

A deal? Neo's eyes sparked with interest behind the expressionless mask he wore. What kind of deal? What was Jibril talking about?

"Yes, he's still alive, at the moment. What's that? You're surprised?"

There was yet another pause.

"That sounds perfectly fine with me… what's that? Oh!" Jibril snickered, his eyes scanning down the hall and stopping at Athrun's cell. "Don't worry. I assure you he's as good as dead… yes! I promise you!"

Neo heard some mutterings on the other line but gave up trying to make them out. Instead, he simply crossed his arms and waited.

"This is a most unexpected pleasure. I had no idea I was doing you a favor when we grabbed him but I must say I am now extremely glad we did. Take care."

"Who was that?" Neo asked when Jibril shut off his cell phone and stuffed it back in his pocket.

"Simply a fellow colleague," Jibril answered plainly but the smile on his face told Neo that it was anything but simple. "Let's just say it is more worthwhile than ever to make sure that our guest spends his last, dying days with us."

"Someone else wants him dead?"

Jibril nodded. "That's right. Someone who could go a long way in helping us further our cause."

Neo acknowledged his superior respectfully and dropped the conversation. It didn't really matter to him. By upsetting relations between the Earth and Orb with their claims that Orb was protecting war criminals, the Blue Cosmos had succeeded in keeping their hopes for a world rid of the Coordinators alive. He smiled as his gaze moved down the hall towards the lonely cell where their prized prisoner was being kept. Soon, very soon, Athrun would be dead. He just hoped he could be the one to deal the final blow.

"Come on," Jibril motioned towards the cell and hastily increased his pace. "Our guest is waiting and probably very lonely. It will be his last night with us and I dare say that he would want some company."

Neo just laughed and was all too happy to follow.

**TBC**

Ok… this chapter was really hard. I honestly couldn't figure out another way for them to find Athrun and i didn't want to spend _too_ many chapters explaining it. Don't worry, the story will pick up pretty quickly from here on out. I apologize if there are spelling errors. I'm working 9h days and taking two summer classes so my time to write has been cut a little. Either way, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks so much for the nice reviews everyone! They helped me a lot!

Good old Yzak and Dearka - I love writing them.

Anyway, I shall try to update soon – have a good weekend all!

Krilyn

**Cari-Akira** Hey! Thanks for reviewing BOTH chapters! I loved both of your reviews. I know you want Jibril to suffer which is why I let Kira rough him up a bit… I guess it wasn't enough though… I shall try to do better. Thanks again.

**Slightly Sinister Sinestra** I never realized how many people disliked Yuuna. Unfortunately, he will be a recurring figure in the story. Don't worry, the pick pocket will be in the next chapter ( I love that character lol)

**Kageharu Kaco** I'm glad you liked the fight scene! I liked writing it! Hehhee. Thanks for the review – you gave me a great idea for a sequel that I will write once I am done this one – thanks so much!

**Arayelle Lynn** I am glad you are enjoying the story.

**Justsome1:** Thanks for the tip about Jibril's eyes. As of now, his eyes shall be green… it will work very nicely in the upcoming chapters. If you catch any other errors please let me know (but be kind lol)

**mingathur**: Wow… you read this story like an open book. I'm slightly embarrassed that you could see so easily where this story was going but … oh well… I hope you'll still read it. I figured Kira to be the defensive type… especially towards Cagalli. Anyway, thanks for your review!


	11. Fading Lights

Hi!

Thanks to my three regular reviewers - you guys keep this story going lol. Anyway, I had an absolutely horrible day yesterday and unfortunately, that was when I wrote this so I am have taken it out on Athrun a little – I'm sorry! I cut my hand cutting an orange… that's where the idea of a little knife-play came from.

I hope you enjoy this chapter – it will be the last time I torture Athrun a little and while I didn't want to, I felt it was necessary for the story… and I love Maloby. Please review! I do take into account all the advice and feedback I get and it's the only way I will ever improve. Anyway, enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any other references made to either series. I also do not own the lyrics below – they belong to Nickelback.**

**WARNING:** This chapter does involve a little knife play and suffering on Athrun's behave – both physical and emotional. If you are sensitive to that sort of thing, please don't read it ok?

**Abhorrence**

_Prison gates won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
Oh, I reach for you  
Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin' – Nickelback_

**Chapter #11: Fading Lights**

Athrun slowly opened his eyes only to find darkness. He felt the bitter cold air stabbing his skin and he knew if he could see, he would be watching his own breath turning into white crystals and disappear into the air. His head was throbbing and he could feel his body eating itself. He shuddered weakly. Every inch of his body pained him when he tried to move…especially his left shoulder. Even the slightest movement caused a fiery pain to ignite in the joint

It felt as if he had been confined to his small prison for months on end. At first he had been confidant that someone would come and help him. He had friends and a lot of people who owed him personal favors. Besides, he knew that Cagalli wouldn't just let him shrivel away into nothingness… at least he thought he had known that.

_She doesn't love you…_

Athrun suppressed a small sob and felt his eyes begin to water. He blinked several times but that didn't prevent one lone tear from falling, from staining his bruised cheek and freezing on the tip of his chin. He didn't want to believe what Jibril and the others had told him but it was becoming harder and harder to maintain any sort of resolve in the situation was in.

Every night, or so it seemed, men from the Blue Cosmos would come 'visit' him and give him his daily glass of water as they had promised. He had used them to keep track of the days but as time pushed forward, the visits became more and more spontaneous and instead of getting two cups of water each day as he had been told he would, sometimes he would get one or two every two or three days. It hadn't taken long for him to loose his sense of time and all the days began to fuse together into one, long and miserable nightmare.

He would be mocked, taunted and ridiculed by his capturers… anything that would get a reaction from him. Sometimes they succeeded; most of the time they did not. If that was the case, they would simply beat him for being what he was – a Coordinator. They hurt him because they could. It was that simple.

The beatings usually involved another dosage of whatever drug they had been giving him to keep him semi-paralyzed. Though, he was so beaten and so drained from malnourishment that he doubted they had much to worry about. He was no longer a threat to them, or to anyone else for that matter. He always felt so worn out and exhausted that he hardly had the energy to lift his head yet alone fight back. That didn't seem to discourage the men from pounding into him without mercy. Jibril and Neo had been his most frequent visitors. Both would continually badger him about the events of Heliopolis but he never told them anything. They wanted names and the possibility of having Dearka or Yzak go through the same torment as he was, kept him silent.

During his stay, he had developed a fever which perhaps frightened him the most. He had never been sick before. Coordinators were not supposed to get sick yet he was coughing almost regularly now and sweat drenched his quivering form. His pants and buttoned, black shirt were soaked and clung to his body like a second skin, offering almost no warmth at all. The Blue Cosmos had poisoned his body, poisoned his mind and the only thing they hadn't completely stripped him of was his dignity. That was probably the reason he'd suffered so since he had arrived. He never wavered and never gave into them because he knew that was what they wanted. At least he never did when they were present. Tears that were spilt in solitude didn't enter into the equation.

He never begged with them when they hurt him. He just accepted it and that bothered them.

His eyes gradually began to readjust to the darkness and he could barely make out the bared cell across from his own. Lying on the floor, he just gazed at the other cell blankly too tired and too drained to try to sit up and too far gone to think clearly.

"Hang in there lad."

Athrun just coughed and groaned, curling into himself as far as his beaten body would allow.

From his own cell, Maloby's heart went out to the young prisoner. His boney fingers wrapped around the bars of his prison door as he tried to get Athrun's attention. "You won't be here forever. One way or another, you'll be rid of this place."

Athrun raised his head at Maloby's words, contemplating the _one way or another_ that the old man was referring to. Freedom would mean death yet death promised him freedom… freedom without Cagalli. What kind of life would that be?

_She doesn't love you…_

A shiver crawled up along his spine.

"I overheard the guards," Maloby pressed. "You have a lady waiting for you don't you?"

Athrun nodded once and coughed again, the effort of moving his head exhausting him. He hoped he did. As much as he hated himself for it, his rational mind had begun to question just how much truth and validity that statement held.

"You want to see her again don't you?"

"Of course." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Then fight just a little longer," Maloby told him. His voice cracked with emotion and he shook his head. "Don't let these fools beat you. Survive."

There was another violent cough but Maloby was sure that the young man had heard him. His brow furrowed with concern. He had heard Jibril say almost three weeks ago that he wanted this kid alive. What exactly he had meant by that, Maloby left up to interpretation and he had become certain that Jibril's definition of _being alive_ was simply being able to breathe. Although Athrun was indeed still alive, he wasn't by much and he wouldn't be for much longer. The abuse he had taken was staggering and had it not been for the fact that he was a Coordinator, Maloby was positive he would already be dead.

To beat a child. Maloby bit back the anger he was beginning to feel boiling inside of him. He had stolen from little children before but never had he raised a hand to one. This boy was strong, intelligent, skilled and wise beyond his years but he was still just a boy. A teenager no less. For someone to do such unwarranted damage to a child made him question just what kind of society humanity was developing into.

He rested his head against the iron bars of his cell door. Words were all he could offer the boy and he wished he knew what to say to him but he didn't. He could have told him that things would be ok, that he didn't need to be afraid though what purpose would that serve? He had been abused almost to the point of no return and was in insurmountable pain. To express false assurances would only demonstrate his ignorance.

The sound of footsteps drawing near caused the Maloby to look up. His ears constantly kept watch so as to not be surprised when the Blue Cosmos chose to visit their prisoners. Sadly, the young boy across from him had received almost all of their attention. From the corner of his eye he could see Jibril and Neo coming down the hall. His blood pressure rose and he clinched his hands around the iron bars to his cell. They had demonstrated their brutality over the last couple weeks but would they really drive the boy further into darkness when he was already dangerously close to submitting to it on his own?

He cringed when he saw Neo unlock the door to Athrun's door and swing it open. It hit the wall with a long _clank_ and Maloby answered, in complete repulsion, his own question.

"Wake up you miserable brat!" Jibril called.

Athrun blinked and raised his head, fear right behind his emotionless eyes.

"You don't look so good," Jibril walked towards Athrun with Neo right behind him. "Miss. Cagalli left for the PLANTS this morning. It was on the radio. You shouldn't be surprised. How could someone like her ever fall for someone like you? You're a good-looker, boy, but you are also tainted. You are a Coordinator. She could never love someone like you. She played you like a fool."

"That's not true." Athrun whispered hoarsely.

Jibril bent down and slapped Athrun across the face. "Are you calling me a liar?"

Athrun remained silent and looked forward through the open doorway of his cell. All he wanted was to be left alone in his misery. All he wanted was to sleep yet these men insisted on making his life a living hell. They wouldn't let him sleep and when he did manage to nod off, their voices would haunt his dreams. No matter what he did, he couldn't escape them.

"Guess what else? I just got full approval from Orb to kill you." Jibril winked at Neo and then looked down at Athrun. "They must figure it is best to have you out of the way."

Athrun looked up at him, panicking internally.

"What are you looking at, you little freak?" Jibril grabbed Athrun by his good arm and hulled him up to his feet. He placed a hand over Athrun's rapidly beating heart and smirked. "Are you scared? Are you afraid of me now? You should be."

Athrun thought for sure he was going to get a late-night beating but was unable to prepare himself when Jibril rammed his knee into Athrun's ribs. His eyes grew big as pain shot through his body. Jibril held Athrun up against the wall with one arm underneath Athrun's chin and motioned for Neo to cut the bonds the held his hands behind his back.

Neo quickly complied and Athrun winced. Neo was deliberately careless and he felt a knife graze his skin as it bit through the thick rope. His arms dropped uselessly at his sides, hands completely numb. He felt Jibril release him and take a step back. Immediately, his body began to sag back to the floor. Jibril, however, wouldn't allow it.

A brief nod to Neo sent the masked-man rushing towards him. Athrun gasped as Neo roughly clamped his hands around his upper arms in an iron grip that sent rivers of agony surging through the boy's left shoulder. Athrun moaned pitifully and raised his head when he felt Jibril grab his left hand and wrench it forward. The action was so fierce that it almost sent Athrun hurling into him but Neo held him steady.

Athrun reacted when a hand latched onto his sore, left wrist and he tried to withdraw away from the contact. Another hand, with hard, calloused skin, took hold of his hand and straightened out the digits. Athrun, sensing a hush of uneasiness take hold of him, tried to draw back but Neo held him still and the drug in his system was too potent for him to put up any sort of resistance. He felt something cold and sharp come to rest against the side of his hand and he froze in fear. Jibril had pulled out a pocket knife; its glossy and sharp edge now placed dangerously against his pinky. Surely they didn't really mean to cut off his finger? Athrun could only imagine the pain and he tried to block out the thought of what the loss of a finger would mean. He was left-handed. He could probably adjust in time, but the thought sent tremors down his deadened muscles.

"I was going to cut off your finger," Jibril began, his voice quiet and somewhat mocking. "It would be sore, wouldn't it, boy?" The sudden slash of the knife across the base of his smallest finger brought a piercing cry to Athrun's lips. He could feel the heat of his blood streaming across the back of his hand. He tried to pull his hand away but Jibril just tightened his iron-grip.

"Yes, I thought it would hurt," The mocking voice went on, a hint of laughter now creeping in. "But I thought I would try something else. Perhaps if I threatened to break every bone in this hand, you would tell me what I want to know. I want to know who else from the Heliopolis tragedy is still alive."

The thought of losing the use of his dominant hand was a paralyzing one. Athrun gasped, trying to calm the terror that coursed through him. He opened his mouth to refuse but at that same moment, another cough exploded from his lungs. He hacked violently and a mix of spit and blood escaped his lips and landed on Jibril's hand – the one that held his own so tightly that the limb had begun to turn blue.

He couldn't help it. His gesture hadn't meant to be insolent even though the vocal response he had intended on producing would have been. He was sick. He couldn't help it if he coughed.

It didn't seem to make a difference to Jibril.

"You are stupidly stubborn!" Jibril snarled and pulled on Athrun's arm hard. The boy jerked helplessly, unable to free his hand. The pain was horrible and he whimpered, unable to remain silent. It only added to the shame and utter disgrace he was feeling.

Up until that point, Maloby had watched in silence as the two Blue Cosmos leaders continued their relentless torment. Inching as close to the bars as he could to see, his heart stopped when he saw the look in his young friend's eyes. The bold, young Coordinator was fading and he could see the child so clearly in those flashing, emerald orbs. The child that was scared, that didn't understand why this was happening to him and Maloby just couldn't stand to watch any longer.

"Hey!" He hollered angrily and pounded on the bars of his cell. He hoped to at the very least, to distract them and draw their attention away from Athrun. Anything to give the boy some relief. "Don't you think you've done enough already! Leave the lad alone!"

Jibril's head shot up and he immediately dropped Athrun's hand. Mechanically, he flicked the knife closed and dropped it back into his pant pocket. "Excuse me?"

"Ya heard darn well what I said!" Maloby snorted, fighting the urge to cower back into the depths of his cell. "He's as good as dead so let the kid be."

"Shut up, old man!" Neo spoke first and released Athrun. He advanced towards Maloby but the old man held his ground. At least, he did until Neo kicked at the bars. They raddled loudly and shook, scaring Maloby back. He fell and scrambled backwards as Neo stared down at him menacingly. "Be grateful you don't have to share his discomfort!"

Maloby swallowed and fired a quick glance over at Athrun. The boy had once again begun to drop towards the floor but Jibril grabbed hold of him and once again, pinned him up against the wall to keep him upright. Athrun's gaze fell upon the elder and he shook his head in the negative – silently begging Maloby not to get involved. The man hesitated for a split second but there was something about the young man – an aura of some sort that demanded much respect and he found himself obeying Athrun's mute commands. He had been successful, however, in preventing them from crippling the young man's hand.

Athrun swallowed hard, feeling the cold cement against his back, and the cold and solid ball of fear swirling inside his empty stomach. He shifted his gaze to the door, desperately begging for someone to come and help him.

_She doesn't love you…_

"Look at me you little freak!" Jibril roared again, pulling him forward a bit and then slamming him against the wall again.

Athrun winced in pain, but did as he was ordered to, pouring all of his hatred and pain into his piercing gaze. Jibril was still holding him by his shirt, right above his shoulder. He tried his best not to tremble as the man pressed his body against him, pinning him tightly to the wall, his face mere millimeters from his. He swallowed as he was forced to look up into those cruel emerald eyes that shone back at him with malicious intent.

"I'm getting tired of asking!" Jibril's voice was harsh and quiet, but yet very, very deadly. He slammed Athrun's body into the wall again, smirking as he saw the boy close his eyes in pain. "You will look at me when I speak to you and you will answer when I ask you a question!"

Athrun flinched and opened his eyes, not recalling having closed them. He looked briefly at the door, but before he had time to turn back to face Jibril, the man moved. With one swift and precise movement, Jibril's hand went flying back down to his pocket and he pulled out his knife, still stained with blood and quickly pressed it to Athrun's slim white neck.

"I said look at me when I am speaking to you." He whispered dangerously, pressing the knife lightly against the soft and caving skin. "Who else was involved at Heliopolis? Who else is still alive?"

Athrun tried not to swallow the lump in his throat, afraid that it would cause the knife to cut through. He looked down at the knife, wondering. He doubted that he would survive the night.

"Look at me!"

The knife came closer, pressing hard enough to nearly draw blood.

"That's enough!" Maloby desperately called from his cell. "God almighty, leave the kid alone!"

"Shut up!" Jibril spat, whirling his head back to glare at the cell across the hall. "Just mind your own business!" He turned back to Athrun, his smirk returning as he saw the fear that shone so plainly in his eyes. A Coordinator scared. It was a beautiful sight.

He banged the boy against the wall again.

Athrun's head went flying back, hitting the wall and then fell back down into the blade. "Ah!" He gasped as he felt his skin break against the sharp edge.

"Stop it!" Maloby shouted. Horrified and enraged, he clawed and pounded against the bars of his cell. He continued to do so until Neo threw his arm against the bars, catching the old man's knuckles. Maloby staggered back into his cell, hugging his sore hand protectively.

"It's just a little cut." Jibril dismissed his comment, and drew the knife a little closer. He leaned down towards Athrun, looking down into wide green eyes. "You are a fool, boy. Blinded by false affections, pathetically loyal to people who don't care. Look at what it has brought you."

Athrun winced at the utter hatred in Jibril's rough voice. He tried to look away from his tormentor, but he had no choice but to stare up at the face hovering just inches from his own. "_Don't listen, don't listen, he's lying… don't listen…"_ Athrun kept repeating in his mind as he fought to disassociate himself from what was happening.

"Orb betrays you and you still refuse to talk?" Jibril pressed his body harder against the trembling youth, grinding him into the wall. "You insist on protecting the people who are allowing you to rot here? I hate your kind. You think you are so much better than everyone else."

Putting away his knife, Jibril nodded and motioned for Neo give him the needle he always kept with him.

The man quickly complied.

Athrun eyed the needle uneasily and then looked back at Jibril.

"The old man is right. We won't get anything from this brat. Tomorrow, we are going to kill you, boy," Jibril smiled, amused when his prisoner attempted to struggle out of his grasp. His attempt was more a slight wiggle than a struggle. "I must say, I am looking forward to it."

Athrun said nothing while trying to ignore the pain emanating from his ribs and bloody hand. He stared at the needle for a long moment and then turned his head back to Jibril. "I'll be waiting for you in hell." He finally said, coldly.

That did it.

Jibril violently slammed Athrun against the wall one last time, hard. Athrun's lungs expelled whatever air they may have held on contact and the boy gasped, trying to draw air back into his lungs. Jibril wouldn't allow it. He threw Athrun back in the floor and stepped away from the battered youth. "Still as stubborn and stupid as ever!" He shook his head in disgust and spat at the limp form at his feet. "That's the problem with you Coordinators. You just don't know when you're defeated. That was the problem with your old man had, kid. He pushed and pushed until one of his own men shot him in the back. Well, your fate will at least be a little more honorable. Thanks to you, the Earth will loose confidence in Orb and negotiations will hopefully collapse. That, my little friend, will be your legacy!"

Jibril hovered over the young Coordinator like a vulture over a carcass. He was about to inject him with another dosage of the drug when he noticed something shiny around Athrun's neck. His eyes narrowed and he leaned in closer. He couldn't believe it. Shimmering in the dark was a rose-colored pendant that had fallen out from behind the collar of his shirt and hung loosely around his neck. Mesmerized by its beauty, Jibril reached down and his hand clasped around the glossy object.

"Jewelry?"

Athrun gasped as the chain holding the pendant was violently ripped away from around his neck. He observed silently as Jibril examined the jewel before looking up at him, smiling wickedly. "Real men don't wear jewelry, kid. You're nothing but a baby."

Athrun coughed, his pained eyes focusing solely on the pendant – on the gift that Cagalli had given him just over a year ago. He'd been called a lot of things in his life but none of them were as hurtful as this. Perhaps that's because that was exactly how he felt… like a baby. A pathetic child who had lost faith in everything. He refused to believe that Cagalli had given up, that she had used him for her own means just as his father had, yet doubt had shrouded his mind. He would spend his last living moments questioning everything and everyone he had ever known and such thoughts made him want to weep. Perhaps he was as Jibril said – nothing but a baby.

He watched with heartfelt agony as Jibril tossed the pendant out of the cell and cringed when he heard it clatter loudly on the cement floor.

From where he was viewing the horrid spectacle, Maloby shut his eyes when he saw Jibril place a heavy boot on the boy's back, pressing him down to the ground. Jibril then moved in to give the boy yet another dose of the sedative they'd been given him since he had first arrived. Maloby heard a soft growl but refused to open his eyes. He flinched when he heard the two men retie Athrun's hands behind his back, completely disgusted. He couldn't stand to watch anymore and he wished he could shut his ears to the cruel man's words.

He still refused to open his eyes when he heard the cell door slam shut, footsteps that gradually became faint and Jibril holler one last thing at Athrun.

"Enjoy your last few hours alive!"

Only when the footsteps were completely gone, did Maloby open his eyes. He was shocked to find that the pedant Jibril had thrown away was at his feet and realized that the man had just thrown it carelessly into his cell. The old man peered down curiously at the jewel before he slowly picked it up. It was a simple gem. The way, however, Athrun had looked as it was taken away from him told him that the pendant carried a story far too complex for his comprehension. Athrun had wanted it back desperately. He didn't have to ask to know this was true and so carefully, he slid it back into Athrun's cell. Maloby was satisfied as he saw it land just inches from Athrun's face.

Even in the dim light, the elder could see the youth lying on his side on the floor - hands bound, eyes closed and breathing shallow. His skin shone with a sheen of sweat that matted down his hair and covered his entire body.

"Lad, lad come on, talk to me…"

Very slowly, two bleary, emerald eyes fluttered open and Maloby heard a faint but pained cough. The Coordinator was deathly still and Maloby wondered if the boy had given up.

Maloby hesitated. "Kid?"

Athrun shifted a little where he was lying and groaned. His eyes met the old man's and he held them for a moment. In those few seconds that seemed like hours, Maloby felt as if he had been given the key to the boy's soul. Behind those bright green eyes that shimmered with unshed tears, he could see pain, frustration, hurt and fear. A true fear of what was going to happen to him. Yet, as he continued to stare at him, Maloby also saw a dogged determination, a proud soul who loved life too much to let it slip away so easily.

He had not yet lost hope.

"Thank…you," Athrun muttered more to himself than Maloby as his eyes slowly but surely began to drift shut. Before they did so, however, they fell upon the pendant on the broken chain. "I want … to survive…"

Maloby smiled sadly. He wished he could reach out and comfort the boy but only his words could reach him in the confines of his cell. "You will, kid. Don't you worry yourself. Hang in there and you will."

**TBC**

Don't flame me! No, I don't have anything against Athrun – he's my favorite character. Help is coming in the next chapter I promise! Anyway, I hope you liked it. Please review and tell me what you think – I love hearing from everyone. Who is Jibril working with? That's will become important later on.

I don't know when I will update next. I've been updating a lot and I'm starting to get exhausted of this story. I love it but it does take up a lot of my time. I don't want to take a break but it may be a few days before I come back to this story.

Until next time

Krilyn

Slightly Sinister Sinestra: Yes, I don't like Yuuna either but… unfortunately, he will be making a few appearances. Maloby is sort of the crutch that is holding Athrun up at the moment. I like him too and I do plan on writing a sequel to this story where he will appear again. Thanks so much for sticking with my story!

Kageharu Kaco: Yup! I've started outlines for a sequel to this one – you gave me some ideas from your last couple reviews and I think it will work out really well… THANK YOU! I'm not a Yaoi fan though so Dearka and Yzak sharing a bed is as close to anything like that as you will ever see in anything I write. It's just not my thing. Jibril's mysterious phone call will become important later on. Thanks for your review!

Cari-Akira: Next chapter Athrun is going to see some help come! No, no, no… he's still alive see? I didn't kill him! This is probably as bad a condition as we will find him in this story. You were right though… another violent chapter – this one, as I mentioned, was the result of a bad day apologizes to Athrun. Anyway, thanks again!


	12. Rescue

Hi again!

Wow! I got 10 reviews for the last chapter! Thank you so very much! I appreciate it! As promised, Athrun's finally going to get some help. This chapter was especially hard to write so I do apologize if it is a little difficult to understand. I also wrote this up really late after a long day at work so I am sorry for spelling/grammar mistakes. I also did some cutting and pasting because I didn't like the sequencing so I hope it's ok now.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any other references that have been made to either series. Maloby, the old man, does however, belong to me. Oh! The idea of 'jumping' was inspired by Terminator 2 so that was not an original idea – I thought I better say that in case… though, I've seen that done in a lot of movies.**

I hope you enjoy it!

**Abhorrence**

**Chapter #12: The Rescue**

The sun was just beginning to rise, its rays gently reaching down and caressing the freshly fallen snow that twinkled in its wake. Kira dug his hands deeper into his pockets as he trailed along in the footprints of Dearka and Yzak. Raising his head from the ground, Kira recoiled when a snowflake hit his nose.

The city was gradually coming to life. The small shops which lined the cobblestone road and stretched for miles were just starting to open and already crowds were gathering. His eyes followed the pedestrians as they moved past him and mechanically continued down the street, wondering if they knew of the dangers that the future promised if the Blue Cosmos were able to convince the Earth that Orb had secret PLANT sympathies. Was anyone really aware of just how delicate the peace that had been established was? He doubted it. Stopping at an intersection, his ears picked up on the chattering of a pair of women to his right.

"Can you believe it? Orb has been protecting war criminals!"

"All this time, they've been claiming to be neutral yet they are willing to turn a blind eye to those who massacred so many innocent people!'

"Perhaps the Blue Cosmos were right. Perhaps Orb's true loyalties are with the Coordinators."

"What do you mean?"

"Obviously it's because the victims were Naturals that Orb didn't care. They knew who were responsible and they did nothing! They protect ZAFT war criminals… I bet the story would be different if it were Coordinators who had died at Heliopolis!"

Kira bit his lip and kept moving, leaving the two women to their conversation. Some Coordinators had in fact died there. The propaganda the Blue Cosmos had been putting out was beginning to take effect. He continued to follow the other two towards the building they had traced the last broadcast to, thinking.

As he pushed on, Kira felt surprisingly detached from the world around him. He could feel people's inquisitive stares descending upon him and he wondered whether they knew who he was. He had been there… at Heliopolis when it had been destroyed. He had heard the pained cries of the dead and had witnessed the destruction.

Looking up, Kira could see flames devouring the street, the buildings falling under the hatred ZAFT had thrust upon the colony. It was almost suffocating. So much hate and Heliopolis had absorbed so much that it had shattered. It had shattered from more than just the frames of buildings. People had screamed, their voices high and desperate. Some were abruptly silenced while others were muffled by the sound of fire. The ground was bathed in red. Everything had been destroyed, leaving only memories that would distort and fade with time.

Blinking, Kira felt as if he was staring through a bubble, seeing the past repeat itself right before his eyes as if the world had been encased in a clock work of some kind. A machine that humanity couldn't escape. He had seen streets such as the one he was on - calm and quiet. He had seen them washed away in a wave of fire too. Now, he was once again walking on a street – calm and quiet.

In many ways, he could understand the anger felt by the two women he had been listening to. Glancing up at the snowflakes falling from the grey sky above, Kira remembered the whirlwind of emotion that had taken hold of him immediately after Heliopolis. He'd been stunned, upset, confused and angry.

"But was I angry at Athrun?" Kira whispered to nobody in particular. At first he hadn't been so sure of the answer. Then, after seeing and speaking with him, Kira had realized that it hadn't been Athrun's fault nor had it been Dearka's or Yzak's. Their plan had gone haywire and the colony had paid the ultimate price.

Yet, broken hearts were hard to heal and shattered ones could never be fully mended. The number of people affected by Heliopolis … the families, the neighbors, and the friends. Almost everyone had been touched in some way and when grief turned into anger and anger fed the fire of hatred, only more tragedy would result which would again lead to grief. Such was the workings of abhorrence.

Drifting further and further into his memories, Kira hardly noticed that the three of them were progressively making their way further and further into the countryside – away from the busy streets and crowded sidewalks. Trees blanketed in fresh fallen snow hung over them and Kira almost felt as if he was on a cloud. Everything had been bathed in nature's natural, white icing.

"We're here."

Dearka's voice snapped Kira out of his thoughts and looking up, he saw that they were indeed just a few yards away from the administration building he had located via his laptop. Quickly, the three of them ducked behind the wooden fence the separated the lone pathway and the estate. He frowned. It was a rather large, square-like office building with four even levels with the fifth being drastically smaller. It was settled in the middle of nowhere and concealed only the surrounding forests. There was no question that this was the Blue Cosmos local headquarters. To the left of the building was a warehouse full of machine scraps and other supplies. All the lights in the building were off except for one that illuminated the main entrance.

"Okay," Kira motioned the other two into a huddle and then nodded towards the lonely structure before them. "We don't want to draw attention to ourselves and we certainly don't want any trouble. We sneak in, find Athrun and sneak out, understand?"

"I don't make trouble," Dearka smiled innocently before a smug smirk split his features. "I only respond when trouble comes to me."

"Well, we don't want trouble." Kira reiterated firmly.

"I don't remember having to take orders from you," Yzak snorted and was rewarded with a harsh glare from the brown-haired youth.

"We are going to have to work together," Kira explained and straightened. "We'll move up to the top floor and work our way down until we find Athrun. You two take the top floor while I search the lower ones. Regardless, we meet back here in one hour – sound good?"

Dearka and Yzak nodded breaking from their huddle and heading for the building. The three of them half-walked, half-jogged across the compound towards the warehouse, hesitant to make a sound all while knowing that they had to hurry.

Kira pursued them, quietly examining the huge quantities of broken mobile suits parts the rolled out from the warehouse and into the snowing grounds. He took a quick glance up at the sky and inwardly shivered. Gray clouds were beginning to roll over the sun and he could sense that a storm was coming. He could feel it in his veins.

"Hey Atso, come over here!"

Kira topped dead in his tracks and franticly looked around to see where the voice had come from. He saw Dearka and Yzak immediately take shelter in the confines of the warehouse and swallowed. Thinking fast, he dropped to the snowy ground and crawled underneath a broken cockpit that just happened to be the closest source or shelter. He cringed as his head scrapped against the top of the cockpit but didn't cry out. Someone was near by but underneath the wreckage, Kira was unable to see anything but the snow at his feet. Nervously, he backed up further into the broken suit.

Listening intently, Kira anxiously moved deeper until his back was up against the opposite side of the cockpit, furthest from where the voice had come from. He heard the rough sound of leather boots squishing into the snow just a few feet from where he was hiding. Someone was getting awfully close. A chill ran up Kira's spine as he grasped himself to stop his body from shaking and closed his eyes. It was cold, so cold. It felt as if the jaws of winter had sunk its teeth right into his skin though he was almost certain he was shivering from much more than just the miserable weather.

"What did you find, Otto?" A second voice called and the footsteps inched closer.

Kira held his breath. He could hear the sound of a gun rattling loudly in its holster and he realized that the men coming towards him had to be from the Blue Cosmos. His muscles tightened and he noticed that he was frozen. He couldn't move and he honestly did not want to. If the men found him, they would surly kill him on sight and it wasn't as if he had anywhere else to go anyway.

The footsteps became louder as did the voices and Kira didn't dare move a muscle. Silently, he prayed that they had not heard or seen them enter the compound. If they head, each of them were as good as dead.

"Uh, nothing," the first voice replied. "Thought I had heard something. There ain't nothing here though."

"Well that is no surprise," The man who was named Atso retorted. "It's a Sunday. It's the only day of the week everyone gets to sleep in – except us unlucky fools who have to keep watch."

"But I thought I heard something."

"Lets go!"

Kira refused to move even though the voices were growing faint and the footsteps were getting further and further away. That had been too close. Perhaps he was going to have to be a little more careful.

Waiting for about five minutes, Kira Yamato finally let out a long sigh of relief and his muscles loosened. "That was close," He muttered as he wiggled his body out from under the broken suit and out of the damaged cockpit.

Stretching, Kira stayed low to the ground and glanced around, ensuring that whoever had come close to discovering him was now gone. His feet sunk deeper into the snow as he turned to see that both Yzak and Dearka were also now coming out from their designated hiding places.

The wind blew softly as Kira carefully inched closer towards the main building. Ducking behind the side of the warehouse, he nodded in silent agreement as Yzak motioned towards a side entrance. In front of the doors, however, were two armed men – each one looking a little sleepy and almost bored.

"Hmmm," Kira heard Yzak muttered under his breath. The side entrance was a much better choice of entry than the main one but how were they going to get by without being noticed? The chilly, winter air blew against his face, reminding him that his nose was beginning to go numb. Out of instinct, he rubbed it. They were so close yet so far.

Suddenly, Yzak bent down, chuckling wickedly to himself. Kira watched as Yzak scooped up a couple bolts from the pill of wreckage beside them, unsure what he had in mind. He was even more surprised when Yzak flung the bolts across the compound into the nearest thicket. His eyes bulged as he leaned back against the warehouse, unable to comprehend why Yzak was trying to draw attention to himself.

The bolts struck one of the trees and landed with a loud thud, sinking into the snow. Dearka smiled over at Kira knowingly as the two men guarding their targeted entrance jumped up in shock.

"What the heck was that?" the first man demanded, quickly pulling out his pistol.

"I told you I heard something!" The second announced proudly though he appeared nervous. "I'm not stupid!"

"Maybe, let's check it out." The first man ordered and the three men quickly scurried off in the direction that Yzak had thrown the bolts.

"Pretty stupid," Yzak observed, as he hesitated for a moment to be sure that the two guards were out of earshot and grinned smugly at his two comrades. If all of the Blue Cosmos were that dumb then this rescue mission would be a piece of cake.

Silently, Yzak sprinted out of hiding. He scurried to the door, taking note that there were no other guards around. It seemed unusual but he didn't let his guard down. Just because he couldn't see them, did not mean that they were not there.

The three entered the lobby through the emergency side door. The lobby was sparsely decorated with a few chairs, a receptionist's desk and a few plants. Doors leading to the backrooms of the first floor were settled behind the chairs and there was an elevator bank across from them. There was also a stairwell hidden slightly behind the desk. Yzak broke from the group heading for the stairwell but Dearka and Kira followed him. The silver-haired youth knew why they followed him. They wanted to keep an eye on him, to make sure he didn't make a mistake. That irritated Yzak and he sped up as they hurried up the stairs, somewhere between the first and second level.

They worked their way up the stairwell quickly and stealthily, Kira's eyes boring into the ZAFT pilot's back. Yzak was never happier as when Kira spilt ways with them on the second floor landing.

"Remember, we find Athrun and get out of here." Kira reminded him ducking into the door and disappearing.

Yzak bit back a sarcastic retort as he dashed up the remaining flight of stairs with Dearka following close behind. He wasn't stupid. As far as he could tell, he had much more experience with this sort of thing than Kira did.

With a long suffering sigh, Yzak left the stairwell as quietly as he could. The hall he emerged into was dark, lit only by mandatory emergency lighting. The single hallway branched off into two different directions. It was dim, lonely and lined as far as he could see with barred doors. This had to be the floor where prisoners were located. He pressed himself tight against the wall coughing quietly into a closed fist, and pulled out his gun.

He crept down the hallway, braced against the wall, towards the first entranceway of the hall. He paused outside of it listening, for any sounds from within the room. Hearing none, he launched himself away from the wall and pivoted into the door way with his gun ready. There was no one in the room, nowhere to hide. He passed the room and continued toward the second entranceway, pressed against the wall for safety. He hardly noticed Dearka, who mimicked his actions behind him.

Yzak paused outside that hallway, the way he had before entering the first room that hadn't been barred. He jumped into the middle of the entrance way, hoping to find a Blue Cosmos activist and was disappointed when there was nobody to greet him. The hall was glaringly empty and Yzak allowed himself to relax slightly. Little did he realize their good fortune in having chosen to enter the building while most of the Blue Cosmos members were involved in a meeting.

It was a relatively short hallway that consisted of five doorways, two on the left side, three on the right. All of the barred doors were closed, adorned with brass nameplates which said nothing.

The door furthest to the right caught his interest when he heard a soft moaning. He approached the door in a cautious half-crouch, keeping himself tightly pressed to the wall, gun ready.

"Any sign of Athrun?" Dearka asked, his voice tinny.

"Shut up," Yzak snapped as he leaned closer to the cell. "Athrun? Zala? Are you there?"

Listening, he motioned to Dearka. "Open this door."

"Right," Dearka didn't argue and bent down. Yzak covered him as Dearka aimed his gun at the lock. He looked up at Yzak who was moving slightly ahead of him to ensure that nobody was around. "You realize that if I fire my gun, we are going to have to get out of here fast."

"Just open the damn door!"

On Yzak's orders, Dearka fired through the lock. Sparks flew as the metal lock shattered and the door opened a crack. Scrambling to his feet, Dearka hulled the door open and rushed inside. "Hey Zala!... Athrun?... Ath…"

The sight before him twisted his gut in a way he never thought possible. Lying in the far corner of the frosty cell was none other than Athrun Zala. The young man was huddled on his right side, his body completely unresponsive. Even in the dark, Dearka could see the sheen of sweat that coated the other's pale face and torn clothes and he blenched when he saw the unnatural position of Athrun's left arm. It had obviously been damaged yet someone had felt it necessary to keep his arms tightly bound behind his back. His wrists had been rubbed raw, giving testament to a considerable struggle and blood caked the top of his entire left hand.

"Athrun…" He breathed into the husky air as he approached the unconscious figure slowly. As if in a trance, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He slid to a stop next to his ex-comrade, taking in his battered appearance and making special notice of the discoloring around his upper arm. His skin was deathly pale with the exception of the purple bruises that marred the boy's entire face and torso. Terrifyingly, there was no discernable rise and fall of his chest.

Dearka reached out almost hesitantly and placed two fingers under his jaw, careful of the blood cut that seemed relatively fresh, and felt for a pulse. It was there, faint and weak, but there nonetheless. Bending down, he could hear the raspy sounds the escaped his friend's blue lips as the slight plume of Athrun's breath revealed that he was in fact still alive. Dearka let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"Dearka!"

Yzak's voice snapped Dearka to attention. Whirling around, Dearka saw Yzak standing in the middle of the entrance way to the cell, his eyes wide as he took in the sight before him. "Holy sh…"

"He's alive, but he's hurt," Dearka explained, disgusted by his old comrade's condition. "Look what they did to him."

"We have to get out of here now," Yzak informed him. "Surely someone would have heard the gunshot."

Dearka nodded and freed himself of the paralysis that had gripped him since he had stepped into the cell. He pulled out a knife from his pocket and easily cut through the thick rope around Athrun's wrists, unable to stand seeing a fellow Coordinator tied up. He then tucked one arm beneath the youth's knees while the other hand slipped around Athrun's shoulders.

With a deep breath, he hoisted him up off the ground. He was somewhat surprised to find that Athrun was lighter than he'd anticipated but his surprise quickly switched to concern when he felt Athrun's body quivering against his own. He looked much thinner than he remembered.

Dearka carried Athrun out of his wretched cell with Yzak close on his heels. The latter paused at the door to take one last look behind him. The air was thick and the darkness was suffocating. Inhaling sharply, Yzak felt a shudder coarse through him as he wondered about what Athrun had undergone during his three week stay. A faint twinkle by his foot caught his eye and he bent down to inspect it a little more closely.

It was a pendant of some sort and he thought it strange for such a beautiful gem to be lying around in the depths of a prison cell. Without thinking twice about he, he snatched it up off the ground and stuffed it into his pant pocket before scurrying along to catch up to Dearka. His friend was now in the middle of the hall and it was evident that he was trying to figure out where to go from there.

Athrun's eyes fluttered open slowly and the unfocused emerald eyes settled on him. A hoarse whisper drew Dearka's attention. "Cagalli?"

"Stay still." Dearka told him. "You've been hurt."

"The Blue Cosmos…" Athrun gasped, hissing in pain.

"Don't worry about that now." Dearka replied, his eyes scanning the premises. "What's the quickest way out of here?"

"How should I know?" Yzak grated. "We'll just have to go back the way we came."

"Hey you two!"

Dearka and Yzak jerked in alarm and spun around in shock. Yzak's gun flew up as he pointed it wildly from left to right, searching for the owner of the voice.

"Who's there? Show yourself!"

"Take the second staircase at the end of the hall."

It was then that Dearka realized the voice had come from the cell across from Athrun's. Peering in, he frowned when he saw a strange old man pointing his bony finger through the bars of his prison and down the hall. "Who are you?"

"There's no time for that," Maloby hissed urgently. "Make sure you get that lad to a hospital as soon as you can. They left him to die… and he will if he stays here much longer."

"Um, right," Dearka fumbled for the words as he readjusted his grip around Athrun's shivering form. "Thanks."

"Come on!" Yzak bellowed. "We have to move! Now!"

Just as Yzak had spoken, a bullet whizzed past his head. The boy yelped and spun on his heels, firing his own gun madly in the direction the bullet had come from.

Dearka turned in time to avoid a second bullet as it whipped past his head. At the end of the hallway, from which they had come, stood an older man with neatly combed, dark hair and piercing green eyes. He was dressed in a suit though his expression was one of fierce hatred as he raised his gun and fired a third time.

"You there! Stop this instant!"

"GO!" Yzak shouted and the two of them took off down the hall in the direction the strange prisoner had instructed. Dearka was slightly ahead of Yzak as the second man continued to return fire while he ran. The blond ZAFT pilot shifted to put himself between the crazed man and his injured friend. This man had to be one of the ones responsible for Athrun's condition and he swore that the man wouldn't get another change to hurt him.

Yzak emptied his clip at the stranger but it was difficult to run and aim accurately. Each bullet missed. As the two of them approached the door that lead to the stairwell, Yzak saw Dearka throw himself into the door. It gave way under his weight and the two of them all but fell down the stairs – narrowly avoiding the mass of bullets that tailed them. Several other Blue Cosmos members had joined in the chase.

Athrun cried out in a mix of pain and something else as they staggered down three flights of stairs until they reached the door that lead to the main floor. Yzak grabbed the door and pulled but nothing happened – it was locked from the other side.

"Blast!" He shouted as he rammed his shoulder into the door several times but it still held firm.

"We don't have time!" Dearka barked, hearing the sound of descending footsteps from above. He motioned up towards the flight of stairs they had just descended. "Back up! Hurry!"

The two scurried back up to the second floor, hearing the thundering of footsteps coming from the third floor. The door that led to the second story was open and as both boys burst into the room, they found themselves in a large, single room that looked very much like an office. Large windows lined the wall behind a lonely desk as the lights shone dimly above them.

Taking a defensive stance, Yzak and Dearka took cover behind the desk. Dearka gently placed Athrun down in a way that he was leaned up against him for support. Having him cradled against his chest, Dearka realized just how truly ill he was. Feverish heat was rolling off of him yet Athrun was shivering as if he was cold.

"What do we do now?" He whispered to Yzak.

"Beats the hell out of me," the other boy replied as he reloaded his gun. "Where the hell is Kira? You'd think he would have heard all the commotion."

The two listened in silence, knowing that their pursuers were near. Sweat gathered on the brow of each man as they tensed, waiting. Time slowed and Dearka's heart went out to Athrun as the blue-haired youth continued to tremble weakly, moving his head feebly from left to right, delirious.

There was a loud explosion. The entire floor trembled violently beneath them and Dearka latched onto Athrun to steady him. Athrun's body moved like that of a rag doll as the fierce vibrations shook him from left to right. The violent tremors that rocked the room seemed to intensify and there was a second explosion, flowed by a third. It seemed as if the world was shattering around them. Licking his lips nervously, Dearka and Yzak exchanged confused glances.

What was going on?

Yzak straightened when he heard the door to the room open and a strange whistling sound. He flinched as the door slammed shut and something rattled along the floor. Chancing a quick glance over top of the desk, his eyes narrowed when he saw a strange, shiny object flashing on the ground a few feet away from them.

"Dearka…"

"What?"

"Jump!" Yzak shouted and leapt to his feet. Frantically, he turned to the nearest window and fired several rounds into it. Shards of glass spilt upon them like rain and Dearka grunted as he hunched over Athrun to shield him from further harm.

"What do you think you are doing!" He demanded angrily. "Trying to kill us!"

"That's a detonator!" Yzak snarled, indifferent to the small piece of glass that had grazed his left cheek and left a small cut. "Those fools are detonating every room they think we may be in! It's going to explode!"

"WHAT!"

"Grab Athrun and jump!" Yzak yelled over the winds dancing around them from the shattered window. "We can make it two stories! Jump!"

"Wha-?" Athrun whispered sounding as weak and confused as a new born. Dearka's gut wrenched but he kept his face perfectly calm.

"We're going on a little trip." Dearka said gently, as if talking to a scared child. Again, he scooped up the delirious Coordinator into his arms, ignoring the strain it was starting to cause his arms. Even if Athrun was slight, carrying him was still extremely awkward. "Hang on…"

Athrun cried out, clenching his eyes shut and fisting his hands against the pain. Dearka took no time to make him more comfortable as he took a deep breath, sparing a glance at the ticking object on the floor. Then, he charged towards the window as he and Yzak jumped out and into the open air.

The room exploded behind them cutting off Yzak's outraged cry. Dearka instinctively clutched the limp body in his arms closer as debris flew about them. The heart of the eruption burned into his back and he gasped loudly, his body being thrown several yards.

Dearka dropped through the air, his coat flaring, and his blonde hair fluttering about his head like a halo. They dropped two stories to the soft grassy knoll covered in a blanket of snow behind the building. Beyond that was a small forest. He braced himself for the impact and bent his knees. They hit the ground hard, snow spraying up into the air and temporarily blinding them. Dearka went down on one knee but remained upright. Hissing at the sharp pain in his ankle, he knew that he'd be feeling that one later.

Athrun didn't stir even once. That more than anything frightened Dearka, and if he hadn't felt the slight rise of Athrun's chest against his own, he would have thought he'd already died. Dearka stayed crouched for a minute, until his breathing was under control and the pain in his ankle subsided. Yzak landed beside him, gasping loudly.

Athrun groaned in his unconscious state, shaking his head weakly. His breathing was shallow and labored and with a single glance at his ashen face, it was painfully clear that he was in desperate need of a doctor. Withstanding the slight pain in his ankle, Dearka forced himself to his feet and winced as he felt the debris from the room dropping upon him.

"We have to find Kira," Dearka told Yzak. "He must be around the front."

"Forget Kira," Yzak growled and motioned towards the woods. "It's broad daylight – we need to get out of here."

Dearka frowned. "But…"

"We'll meet up with him later," Yzak snapped and grabbed his friends' arm. Over the sound of crackling flames from the office they had just escaped from, he could hear voices and knew that they were not yet out of the clear. The guards they had deceived out front were coming around the building. "They'll come after us if we don't move – now! We need to find cover!"

Dearka shifted the weight in his arms, eliciting a sharp moan. Athrun's head rested on his shoulder and he could feel his eyes fluttering. Once he had settled the lighter Coordinator into a more comfortable position, he followed Yzak as quickly as he could through the mounds of snow and towards the shelter of the woods. There was no question that the Blue Cosmos would be looking for them - they had to get as far from there as they could.

Every step was painful for Dearka's ankle as he sprinted and Athrun's weight pulling at his arms didn't help matters much. They rounded a corner and as they entered the brush, Dearka couldn't help but feel somewhat relieved. First things were first. They had to find a safe haven until dusk. Then, they could travel in the shadows of the night, hopefully meet up with the others and get Athrun out of the region and to a place where he could get proper medical attention.

Athrun shuddered and tried to bury himself into the crook of Dearka's shoulder, subconsciously trying to move towards the warmth of the other man's body. His condition hadn't changed and neither ZAFT pilot wanted to guess what kind of damage had been done to their friend during his time with the Blue Cosmos.

"Hang on," Dearka whispered adjusting his unconscious teammate so as to better support his neck and put less strain on Athrun's left shoulder.

"Let's go," Yzak said in a commanding tone, his eyes showing very little compassion for the young man they had just risked their lives to rescue. Marching speedily ahead of Dearka, he plowed on through the heavy snow and further and further into the depths of the forest. He was anxious to get away from the building and even more anxious to fine a safe place for them to stay until nightfall. He could already feel the winds picking up and sensed that a storm was not far off.

Dearka nodded. Although they'd been separated from Kira, they had succeeded in rescuing Athrun. Now he just hoped that Athrun survived long enough to apologize for all the trouble he had caused them.

**TBC**

Well, believe it or not, I updated a lot sooner than I thought I would do to several requests (I hate being left hanging so I didn't want to do that to you guys). That and I felt guilty about just leaving Athrun the way he was.

Next chapter I'm going to explain what happened during the rescue a little more clearly from Kira's perspective. Please review if you have the time or would like to make suggestions/ comments. Oh! What does "xD" mean? I see it a lot but don't know what that stands for.

Until then, take care!

Krilyn

**Kageharu Kaco** I have a problem. I am trying to stay true to the timeline and if I kill Jibril, I won't be doing that… what do you think? Cagalli punching him? I like that idea too! Thank you!

**Cari-Akira** No no! his finger is fine – he just got a cut. I'm not that mean lol. Yeah, I always thought the two shared an awkward sort of love – like, they don't flaunt it…. What would you call that? A gentle love? Meh, lol

**Justsome1:** Thanks for the tip about the Coordinators! That works much better in my story. You really think I should kill Jibril?

**mingathur** I love Dearka and Yzak! You can go wild with their characters! I'm glad you like the story (even if it is predictable) I will try to change that .

**Slightly Sinister Sinestra** Don't worry about Maloby. He'll show up again- I promise! Glad you like him – was nervous about having an OC in my story.

**BlackFeatherz29** glad you liked the last chapter! I hope you liked this one too.

**lamu** Merci encore pour le jolie message!

**Arayelle Lynn** Yup, Athrun's always a brave soul isn't he? That why I like him.

**Omi**: Gah! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you. Please forgive me!

I hope I updated soon enough for you – I did the best I could.


	13. Divided

Hi!

Sorry it took a couple days to get this up – I had to redo to make sure a certain old man got out of jail. Originally I didn't plan on rescuing him but… I chanced my mind. -. Thanks to everybody who reviewed! It's so nice to hear from you!

Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. I've already finished the next one (I love it) so I will be updating again in probably a day or so. This chapter was hard to write because I find Kira tought to portray accurately. Oh! If you find grammar mistakes – let me know so I can edit them out alright? I've gone through this a couple times but… well… you know…I hope you enjoy it!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any other references to it. Maloby does, however, belong to me.**

**Abhorrence**

**Chapter #13: Divided**

Kira panicked when he heard the explosion. The eruption shook the entire foundation of the building, throwing Kira right off of his feet. The young man crashed into the wall and dropped to the ground with a thud. Unknowingly, his gun slipped out from his belt from the impact.

"What the…"

He cringed when he heard a second blast which was followed closely by a third. Scrambling to his feet, he rushed back down the hallway he had just walked through. Reaching the stairwell, Kira mentally groaned as he literally threw himself down a flight of stairs. It had to be Yzak and Dearka.

What had happened to just sneaking in and sneaking out?

BANG!

"Ah!" Kira yelped as another explosion caused the ground to tremble and he tripped and fell down the last few steps. He didn't waste time and hulled himself back up to his feet and slid down the second flight of stairs towards the main floor.

"Athrun…" His heart stopped. Dearka and Yzak must have found him… and others judging by the commotion. He had to get to them but where could they be?

Now on the third floor, Kira pushed open the door that led out of the stairwell and scurried in. His eyes moved quickly and he staggered to a stop when he saw the walls lined with iron-barred doors. The lights were dim and the air was musty. There was no heating on this level and he shivered at the prospect of anyone having to endure these kinds of conditions. He felt like he had just stepped into prison.

Moving cautiously along the hall, he stopped when he came to an open cell. The door was flung open and the lock belonging it was in pieces on the floor. It was obvious the door had been forced open.

"Hey boy!"

Kira jerked and spun around, his senses keen as he brought up his hands to defend himself. "Who's there?"

"If you're looking for the young'un from that cell, you're about 5 minutes too late."

Squinting, Kira could vaguely make out the silhouette of an old man in the cell across from where he was standing. He blinked, confused. "What?"

"That's right," The man huffed. "Two other boys very similar to yourself up and took him. Seemed to know the lad they did. Poor boy, they sure didn't treat him kindly here that's for sure. Wonder if them two managed to get him out of here."

"You saw them?"

"Sure did!" Maloby beamed and puffed out his chest while flashing Kira a toothy grin. "Not very talkative that friend of yers but he's got a good heart. Kinda attached to the boy actually. Gentle lil' soul he was."

Kira smiled sadly at the old man's words. Athrun – a quiet and thoughtful soul. Indeed the man had come to know him well. "I should get you out of there," Kira finally observed and made a move for the lock.

"Now wait just a dog gone minute!" Maloby protested, shaking his head. "I've gone and spent three weeks here! One more and my time will be served and they'll let me walk outta here. Ain't ya hearing the explosions? Why go through all that trying to sneak out when in one week they'll jist lemmie walk on out on my own two feet."

Kira was not convinced. "You're a witness – it's dangerous for you to stay here."

Without another word, Kira picked up a jagged piece of metal from the lock that had been broken off of Athrun's old cell. His brow furrowed as he carefully analyzed Maloby's lock in his hands, searching for a weak point. He found it. Taking a deep breath, Kira smashed the metal shard in his hand against the lock again and again.

Maloby winced at the screeching sound as metal scrapped against metal. "Listen lad, there ain't no way I'm going! I'm not as young as I used to be and…"

Crack.

The lock split and Kira violently ripped it off of the cell door, causing it to swing open slightly. His violet eyes raised to meet the surprised ones of the old man who suddenly didn't seem quit so reluctant to leave. He moved away from the cell to allow the old man to hobble out, astonished by his frail and bony figure.

"Well now," Maloby grinned toothily and stretched his stiff arms. He cracked his neck and shuddered in an attempt to loosen up his sore and aged muscles. "We're in quit a fix now ain't we? Breaking my cell door, guess I don't have no choice but to follow yeah."

Nodding, Kira opened his mouth to ask which way his friends had went when a he heard the sound of boots against the hard floor. Whirling around, he saw a group of three men about 15 feet away all armed with their weapons pointed at him. Kira instinctively reached back to grab his pistol and gasped in horror when he realized that it wasn't there. He must have lost it.

Unable to defend himself, Kira grabbed Maloby by the arm, turned and bolted down the corridor as fast as his legs would carry him. Putting his head down, he pumped his free arm to pick up speed as he flew back towards the stairwell. He had to get as far from these men as possible.

"Stop!" One man shouted but Kira didn't so much as miss a step.

He swung open the door to the stairwell and closed it just as he felt bullets smash into the other side of the door. The impact and Maloby crashing into him, forced Kira back a couple feet and his eyes widened. There were still low rumblings coming from the lower levels and being unarmed, Kira knew that he would only be a target.

Up or down? Kira bit his lip. How was he supposed to get out? The sound of footsteps behind the closed door quickly made up his mind as he dashed down the next flight with Maloby huffing and puffing behind him. Going back up would only trap him on the upper levels of the building. Regardless of what was going on, he had to get out as fast as he could and the only way to do that was to go down.

So, Dearka and Yzak had found Athrun. _That's something at least_ Kira thought to himself as he ran. Above him, he could hear his pursuers descending the steps right on his heels.

"This is yer idea of escape!" Maloby demanded and he stumbled along, struggling to keep up. "Don't ya have a gun or something!"

"I think I…" Kira swallowed. "Lost it."

"What?" Maloby's eyes bulged as he staggered after him. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. This kid comes to save his friend and looses his weapon?

"We… have got… to get… out of here!" Kira huffed as he ran. He heard two gunshots but both missed him. They were enough, however, to get Kira to burst through the door that took him to the second floor.

When he and Maloby emerged from the doorway, they were both assaulted with a blast of raging heat and thick smoke. He paused, gagging as he unintentionally breathed in the lungful of ash. Unable to slow down, Kira crouched and sprinted along the hall. Head down, he turned a corner and took cover in what appeared to have at one point been someone's office. It was as if someone had set off a detonator in it.

"Well this is sure a sorry sight," Maloby stated bluntly as he cautiously followed Kira into the room. "I'd imagine someone is having a bad day."

The room had been completely destroyed and Kira clamped a hand around Malboy's mouth to keep him quiet while he held his breath; hearing the men as they continued running down the hall. He heard a loud crack and looked up. A large piece of the ceiling had been broken and he scrambled up against the wall as the piece collapsed to the floor… or rather through the floor. The floor, already weak from whatever had transpired, gave in under the force. The piece of the ceiling went right through and shattered on the floor of the main level.

Up against the wall, Kira counted his blessings before letting go of the babbling old man. Immediately, Maloby began rambling on about how ridiculous it all was and Kira couldn't help but cringe.

"Well now, I dunno bout you there boy, but I sure as hell don't want to roast in here. Jist how did you plan on high tailing it out of here?"

Ignoring him, Kira squatted down to grab a breath of clean air. If he'd been beneath it, he would most likely be dead. Inching towards the gapping hole, Kira let out a choked cough and wiped the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve. The heat singed his hair and the floor almost burned through the soles of his shoes. His eyes narrowed. He could now get to the main floor and that would mean getting out of the building.

He was just about to jump when he heard voices. Angry voices.

Instantly Maloby went silent, recognizing the owners of the voices immediately.

Kira frowned and crawled slowly over towards the door that led to the hall, wincing as he laid the palms of his hands on the burning surface. Across the way was another room and as he peered around the door, he noticed it was in just as poor shape as the one he was in. Maloby leaned over Kira, and, together, the two of them strained to make out what was being said.

"_That boy cannot be allowed to live."_

"_Shall we go after them, Sir?"_

A wave of relief rushed through him as Kira edged back to the hole in the floor. They had escaped. Dearka and Yzak had managed to escape with Athrun. He glanced up and smiled at Maloby only to find that the elder wasn't smiling. In fact, he looked pained and rather sad. Suddenly unsure of himself, Kira looked away.

"They hurt him something awful," Maloby whispered, his voice barely audible over the crackling of smoldering fires that had ignited around them and the sound of the cracking of the foundation caving in beneath the force of the explosions that had taken place. "He ain't never gonna be the same, that boy."

Kira wasn't sure but he thought he saw a bitterness momentarily flash across the gray haired man's features. His heart twisted as he realized that this man was referring to Athrun. Maloby had seen Athrun, he must have watched as he slowly deteriorated in body and mind and Kira could only imagine what kind of state his friend was in. This man truly cared about Athrun and hated these men for what they had done to him.

Kira couldn't explain it but even though he had only just met Maloby, he felt as though he had known him for years. He wanted to ask him to elaborate but now was not the time. "Hey," He made a quick motion, signaling for the elder to climb onto his back. "Get on."

Maloby didn't argue and awkwardly crawled onto Kira. He wrapped his scrawny arms around Kira's neck and held on tight… almost too tightly and Kira choked – partially from the smoke and partially from Maloby's grip.

Feeling re-energized, Kira leapt down the hole.

Landing on his feet, he bent his knees and rolled before springing up into an all out run. Maloby tumbled off of his back but Kira had absorbed most of the impact. He hit the ground roughly but managed to hull himself up and chase after the young Coordinator.

Kira recognized the lobby and grinned to himself. As he moved, he accidentally bumped his head against the door but he didn't think twice about it. Bursting through the front doors, Kira galloped down onto the street and just kept running. The guards had disappeared and he could only assume that they had gone after Yzak and Dearka.

There was no way that Yzak and Dearka would try to make contact with him now. Not with the Blue Cosmos on their tail. No, they would wait until nightfall before bringing Athrun to them. Despite being more complicated then he would have liked it to have been, their escape attempt had been a success. Athrun was no longer a prisoner of the Blue Cosmos.

Dashing down the street back towards town, he gasped as a gust of wind swept his breath away. The winds were rapidly picking up and the snow fall was gradually becoming more and more heavy. The snowflakes that felt upon his warm cheeks were appreciated but his concern for his friends dominated his thoughts. A storm was coming and Yzak and Dearka would most likely be caught in it – caught in it with, judging by what the old man had said, a severely injured Athrun.

The old man! Kira skidded to a stop and spun around, searching frantically for him. He had been right behind him only seconds ago! He panicked – he'd been so focused on getting away that he had completely forgotten about him.

He waited for about a minute before he spotted Maloby straggling along the road. He was shaking his head and muttering to himself but aside from a small bruise on his forehead, he seemed more or less unharmed.

"Hey!" Maloby hollered as he caught up. "I wanna thank ya for yer help. Been a while since I've seen action like that. Reckon I won't be doing that again. What a rush."

"Oh, you're welcome." Kira panted and shivered as a cold breeze swept over them. "What are you going to do now?"

"I think I'll make my way back to the PLANTS," Maloby considered it for a moment. "Good money to be found up there."

Kira nodded but didn't move. He saw the man eyeing him strangely and he cocked his head questionably. "Is something wrong?" He asked finally. "You aren't hurt are you?"

"Naw," Maloby waved him off. "When you see yer friend – tell'em ol' Maloby wants him to make it out. To keep fighting – he'll understand what I mean. Will you do that fer me?"

His request was surprising and made Kira wonder in just how serious a condition Athrun was in. After a moment, he agreed with a slight nod and stared as the man began to make his way down the street, waving wildly at him. Kira waved back though he was now distracted. Only when Maloby was out of sight did Kira resume his journey back to the hotel in an all out sprint. He was a strange man – Kira would have to ask Athrun about him later.

He felt a lump in his throat. He hoped there would be a 'later.'

Kira gritted his teeth, pushing his way through the crowds as he managed to reach the main road that led to the hotel. He had to tell Cagalli and Lacus. He knew how much she cared about Athrun. Of course, they all cared but for Cagalli, it was a little different.

Squeezing between a couple holding hands, Kira winced when he saw the nasty glare the woman fired him. Tossing her head back, the young girl snorted in disgust before being reassured by her boyfriend. They reconfirmed their love for one another with a kiss then rejoined hands.

Kira could only shake his head. He had never once seen Cagalli and Athrun kiss… or even hold hands for that matter. He exhaled loudly and glanced back at the couple as they carried on down the street. Just because he had never witnessed it, didn't mean it didn't happen. In fact, that left many possibilities for the mind to explore.

When he reached the hotel, Kira was exhausted. The mental fatigue, the run and the chase had taken his toll on him and he coughed in spite of himself. He knew he must have looked wrecked. The flames of the fire had singed his clothes and ash had smeared his face. His hair also hung limp around his ears but he didn't really care. Why should he? It had all been worth while if it meant that Athrun was ok.

"Kira!"

Dazed, Kira opened the unlocked door to Cagalli's room and trudged in, closing it behind him. His head was throbbing and he slumped to the floor, completely worn out. After taking a moment to collect himself, he lifted his head to the sound of his name. His glossy eyes focused on the girl standing by the window and he smiled weakly.

"Lacus… hi."

"Oh Kira!" Her voice shook in horror when she took in his ragged and disheveled appearance. His bottom lip was cut while his cheeks were caked with dirt and a dark, purple lump had already begun to form on his forehead. "My goodness, what happened to you?" Looking around, Lacus's eyes fluttered with concern. "Where are the others?'

Unable to answer, Kira coughed violently and then tried to stand up. He was only successful when Lacus hurried over from where she had been standing, grabbed his right arm and hoisted him up to his feet. Cringing in her hold, Kira instinctively tried to pull away but she held onto him tightly and guided the battered youth to one of the beds.

"Nothing h-h -happened…" Kira inhaled sharply and coughed again as he sat down on the bed. He must have breathed in more smoke than he had initially thought. "I just…"

"Let me see the bump!" Lacus ignored Kira's stuttering words as she loomed over him as a protective mother hen would her young and carefully probed the bruising skin on his forehead with her delicate fingers. "That looks terrible!"

"Lacus, stop!" Kira squirmed in her grip, trying to push her prying hands away from his face. The motions made him feel slightly nauseous and he bit back a low groan as his arm accidentally struck his forehead. "Ow! Please, I'll be fine!"

"Hold still," Lacus hissed and stepped back. She shook her head and she hurried off into the bathroom to retrieve a cold cloth as well as some bandages.

Kira watched as Lacus disappeared and his shoulders slumped. He knew she meant well.

Just as quickly as Lacus vanished into the bathroom, Cagalli exited it. Her eyes centered on Kira before they searched the rest of room in its entirety. She raised a questioning eyebrow as her focus returned to Kira. "Kira? What… where is everyone? What happened? You don't look so good."

"Like I told Lacus, I'm fine." Kira told her and pulled back as his sister sat down beside him and began checking him over. "Dearka and Yzak were able to get Athrun out."

"Wha…"

Cagalli didn't know what to say. Her body seized up and she was certain her heart stopped beating. She didn't know whether or not to believe it. "You mean he was there?"

Kira offered her a slight nod. "I think so. We split up but I talked to another prisoner there and I overheard a couple guys talking… Athrun is with the Dearka and Yzak."

"And where are they?" Cagalli now looked worried. "Did something happen to them?"

"Well…" Kira shifted uncomfortably and dropped his gaze. The adrenalin was beginning to ware off and he was starting to feel very sleepy. "I'm not sure. I didn't actually see them but I'm sure they got out of there okay. People were looking for them… that's a good sign… right?"

"I suppose…" Cagalli considered it for a moment.

_Great… I got from not knowing where he is, to knowing where he is to not knowing where he is again!_

"Let me see that bump again."

Lacus re-emerged from the bathroom with a cool cloth. She knelt in front of Kira and handed it to him. Kira accepted the cloth graciously and held it up against his forehead. The coolness of the water felt wonderful against the scorching pain that just didn't seem to want to cease.

"Did you find Athrun?" She asked as she rested her hands on Kira's knees and gazed up at him hopefully.

"Dearka and Yzak did," Kira told her and tossed Cagalli a knowing smile. "They know what they're doing. I'm sure they're just holding out until nightfall. Then they'll meet up with us again and we can get out of here."

"Orb territory is only an hour drive away from here," Lacus added. Her voice squeaked with excitement. "See Cagalli? Everything is going to be ok."

"Sure…"

Cagalli abruptly stood and made her way to the window. Crossing her arms, he brought her head down against the glass and sighed. It was getting dark and snow was blowing with much more vigor than it had been moments before.

There was an awkward silence as Lacus and Kira exchanged confused stares before they both turned to Cagalli. Lacus moved next to Kira and rapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. He purred softly when she felt him respond by wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close.

"Cagalli, I don't understand," Kira spoke carefully as if unsure how to put his thoughts into words. "I thought you would be happy. The Blue Cosmos can't hurt him anymore. He's with the others now. What's wrong?"

"It's just… you see…" Cagalli exhaled loudly and closed her eyes. "I'm just so tired of this. So tired of worrying, so tired of not being able to do anything… so tired of … of… of everything."

"Just hang in there a little longer," Lacus urged her and Kira felt her tense against him as she righted herself. "Dearka and Yzak will bring Athrun here just as Kira said they would. Just as soon as they feel that it is safe."

"I know…" Cagalli shook her head in frustration. "But… but what if they can't?"

She lifted her head and shifted her gaze back to Kira. Her bottom lip trembled ever so slightly as she spoke. "A storm is coming and you said yourself that people were looking for them."

"Yes but that doesn't mean that they will find them."

"The Blue Cosmos are everywhere. If they want to find someone, they usually do."

"Well, as soon as Dearka and Yzak get here we're leaving," Kira declared as his expression darkened. "We won't give them the time they need to find anyone."

"I'm sorry," Cagalli chuckled bitterly and wiped away the tears that were gathering in the corners of her eyes and threatening to fall. "I just miss him. That's all."

"Everything will be fine." Kira wasn't sure how many times he had said that but he didn't mind. He would continue to say it as long as he felt that Cagalli needed to hear it. "Just get some rest. I have a feeling we won't get much sleep tonight."

Cagalli only nodded.

Meanwhile, back on the second floor of the building, Jibril took a step into the office room that had been reduced to rubble. A harsh breeze roared through the shattered window and pulled at his hair as he stared out into the distance. His hands clinched into fists at his sides as he struggled to make out any signs of life. The smoke from the smoldering furniture impeded his vision and a string of angry curses escaped his lips.

His mind raced as he stood there. He had played with his prey and now it had escaped. He swore again, realizing he should have killed the Coordinator when he had had the chance. He felt Neo come up along side of him along with two other men.

"Sir?" Neo asked almost reluctantly.

"We had an agreement," Jibril muttered darkly, his stormy violet eyes now flaring with blind rage. "That boy cannot be allowed to live."

"Shall we go after them?"

Jibril turned to Neo and nodded. "This is not over. Whoever broke that kid out of jail will most likely try to rendezvous with Miss. Cagalli. I have no doubt that she is behind this. We will intercept them there."

"But Sir…" Neo glanced down at the debris that had fallen from the broken window and was now laying in the snow below. "That wasn't part of the agreement was it? You agreed to kill the boy but… will your colleague still keep his part of the bargain if you … murder Miss. Cagalli?"

"I will get permission," Jibril replied simply. In the condition he had left his prisoner in, he knew that they escapees wouldn't be able to get too far with him. He would find Athrun and when he did, he would make him pay. He would make them all pay for this embarrassment. "Besides, I know that the man we are dealing with doesn't think too fondly of her. We will interrupt any sort of rendezvous they intend on making and then, we will kill Athrun. If Cagalli gets in our way, we will remove her also."

"I shall inform the men, Sir."

"Do that," Jibril stiffened as he spun on his heels and headed back towards his office. "You have not heard the last of me, Athrun Zala."

**TBC**

See? Kira didn't get captured– I just needed him away from the others so he could report back to Cagalli. I hope I didn't loose you in that chapter because a lot happened. Remember that phone call Jibril got a few chapters ago? That's the guy he made the 'deal' with (I'll explain the rest in detail later). Thanks to all who cleared up the XD thing – now I can use it too! -

As for Maloby, he will be back near the end of the story but at least he's out right?

Please review and tell me what you think ok? I still haven't decided what to do with Jibril and the other Blue Cosmos yet. Next chapter he jump back to see how Yzak, Dearka and Athrun are doing because a storm is on its way!

Until next time,

Krilyn

**Kageharu Kaco** I'm glad you're happy Athrun's out. I'm happy too – I felt bad leaving him there. And I definitely think that Yzak does care about him.

**daisukiasu'n'caga** Thanks for the review! They didn't save Maloby right away because they got caught. I fixed this chapter around so he does get out though.

**Cari-Akira** I am so happy you liked the last chapter! I don't think I could ever kill Athrun… I like him too, too much. Athrun's out but … the blue cosmos are after them! Moh ha ha ha kidding

"…" Nope, couldn't capture Kira – I wanted him to get away. I'm glad you are enjoying the story.

**Slightly Sinister Sinestra** There you go! Hehe, I rescued Maloby because you wanted him out. As for Cagalli… um….she's going to be a little upset for a while... but hang in there – I do want a somewhat happy ending. Yeah, Athrun probably wouldn't be the same after all that… maybe I am evil.

**Omi:** Unfortunately, there will be a little blood and gruesome parts but I try to post a warning so everyone is aware of it before they read it. I hope you are enjoying the story in spite of that though.


	14. Unwilling Host

Happy Victoria Day everyone!

As promised, an early update -. I like this chapter – I don't know why but it was really fun to write – must be something about being Canadian… I LOVE SNOW! laughs

Anyway, thanks for the nice reviews everyone – I truly appreciate it.

I hope you enjoy this chapter – let me know what you think. Find grammar errors? Let me know ok?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any other references made to the series. This chapter was inspired by … I'm so embarrassed… I use to be a huge pokemon fan (way back in the day) and there was an episode where Ash and his pokemon are stranded in the snow. So, it's not completely an original idea – just wanted to put that in to be safe. As for Athrun's little episode – I got the idea from my psychology class.**

**Abhorrence**

**Chapter #14: Unwilling Host**

Dearka stumbled, Athrun's weight driving him down into the snow he had been trudging through until he dropped to his knees. Quickly, he scrambled back to his feet, ignoring the throbbing pain in his sore ankle, and continued to tag along behind Yzak. He had been carrying Athrun for almost 4 hours and a snow storm had been picking up sever since they had left the M.S building. Now, the roaring winds were blowing at full force, blinding him and he felt as if someone had wrapped a white blanket around his face – suffocating him.

Athrun was chattering loudly and his skin was far too pale. One glance at his ashen face, and Dearka knew they had to get out of the wind now, or nothing would be able to save their friend. They had gone through far too much to lose him now.

They had reached the countryside and only when they were convinced they were no longer being pursued did they slow down. The powerful gusts of wind threw up an effective snow-screen and not only were they unable to see but nobody would most likely be able to see them.

"Yzak!" Dearka hollered over the wind at the boy a few feet ahead of him. "Athrun's not looking so hot! We'd better find shelter soon!"

Yzak snorted in reply. He didn't need Dearka telling him this to know that Athrun was undoubtedly ill and getting worse. Desperately, his keen eyes searched the swirling whiteness for some sign of anything that might result in shelter from the storm. Suddenly, the ground gave in under his feet and Yzak found himself half-falling, half-skidding downward in a tumble of snow and wind.

The blizzard was now so thick that the young Coordinator had not even been able to see that he had come to a cliff and had walked right off it. A round of angry curses escaped his blue lips but his words were lost in the wind. Fortunately, the cliff was only a fifteen foot drop and the snow at the bottom padded his landing.

Dearka collapsed beside him, dropping Athrun's limp body in the snow. Their friend moaned weakly but aside from that, remained unresponsive. His skin was freezing to the touch and ice crystals had formed on his eyelids and in his hair that blew furiously about his sealed eyes.

The bottom of the cliff was minimally protected from the worst of the harsh winds. Without hesitating, Dearka scooted back against the rock wall of the cliff as far as he could, pulling Athrun along with him. Yzak quickly followed.

Any shelter was better than none at all and going further when he could hardly see was obviously a dangerous proposition. They had no other real options but to wait until the storm eased up. Dearka swallowed nervously – he hoped it did so soon.

"This is ridiculous!" Dearka blurted out, pulling Athrun closer still. The young man's shaking frame was icy cold against his body. He felt as cold as the storm, or colder. Unnerved by this, Dearka undid his jacket. Ignoring the stinging cold as it bit through his shirt, he wrapped his coat around Athrun's shoulders and held him closer to better share his body heat. "We are _all_ going to freeze if we stay out here!"

"I know that!" Yzak shouted back. Straining to see, he wasn't sure but he thought he could see something that looked like a lone house off in the distance. He shuddered, suddenly unsure if he was perhaps becoming delusional.

Dearka shivered uncontrollably, clutching Athrun tightly to his chest and trying to give whatever warmth he had left to him as the snow piled up around them. The rock ledge behind them offered little protection and the drifts were creeping higher and nearer. Night was fast upon them, and Dearka knew that temperature would only keep dropping. Athrun would never survive until dawn if they stayed like this any longer.

Dearka was well aware that they should probably push on and try to find a place to spend the night but the area was foreign to him. He felt completely drained and didn't know if he could carry Athrun much further and even if he could, where would they go anyway?

So much of Dearka's strength was going towards keeping the violently shivering, young man, clutched tightly in his arms, alive that he had driven himself to exhaustion. The irritating pain in his ankle refused to ease up and his arms had long since gone numb. He could feel the storm sinking its cold teeth into his body and he too was starting to shiver almost constantly. Yet, when he looked down at Athrun, he realized that he couldn't give up.

Athrun was so cold he had picked up a whitish-blue tint, making the cruel bruises and cuts on his face and body stand out stark and painful against his pale skin. Dark circles hung beneath his closed eyes and his breathing was becoming more and more shallow. He was slipping.

"There!" Yzak shakily stood up and motioned for Dearka to follow him. "I think I see something!"

Dearka groaned and, picking up Athrun again, he trudged through the snow behind Yzak. "This had better be good!"

Both ZAFT pilots moved as quickly as they could against the raging winds towards a small structure that they could just barely make out in the near distance. Someone in the heavens must have been watching over them for what they saw was a small cabin. Like a beacon of hope, there was a light on in the window. It called out to them, inviting them to seek refuge under its protective roof.

The two boys climbed up the steps to the cabin as fast as they could, although the steps themselves were no longer visible beneath the snow. Dearka limped along and carried Athrun in front of him like one would a child, supporting his shoulders with one arm and his knees with the other. Athrun had lost a lot of weight and seemed frighteningly light in his arms. In one sense he was grateful because he doubted he would have otherwise been able to carry him as long as he had. On the other hand, the Blue Cosmos had seen it necessary to drive Athrun to the pathetic state he was in now.

That did not sit well with him.

Athrun's head lolled lifelessly against Dearka's shoulder as they reached the top of the stairs and Dearka readjusted his grip around him. Taking a quick glance over his shoulder, he could see that the sun was just beginning to set and shuddered as the temperatures also seemed to be rapidly dropping further and further below zero.

Yzak pounded on the large wooden panels of the front door. Yzak waited half of a second before he pounded on it a second time. "Open this door!"

After what seemed like ages, a middle-aged man pulled the door open. He was dressed in his evening wear and he looked as if he had just been woken up. He squinted to make them out and immediately he scowled when his eyes landed upon the two weary Coordinators. He was obviously surprised and not at all pleased to see them.

"What do you want?" He demanded with icy suspicion, making no move to let them in.

"We _want_ to come in!" Yzak replied hotly. "Can't you see that we've got an injured man with us! We need to get him out of the storm!"

The stranger's gaze roamed dispassionately over the pale, shivering form in Dearka's arms. He then spotted the insignia of the PLANTS on the collar of the blond boy's shirt. His eyes flashed with ire as they fell back onto Yzak.

"You boys… you're Coordinators!" He spat angrily. He started to close the door in their faces but Yzak was too quick for him. With his right arm, he caught the door, refusing to let it slam shut. It he hadn't felt so quite so numb, he might have ripped the wooden door right off of its hinges and grabbed the man by the throat.

Dearka was immediately at Yzak's side and pressed the weight of his shoulder against the door. The two of them easily forced the door open again, pushing the man back into the room a few paces.

"Try to close that door on us again and I swear I will make sure it is the last thing that you do!" Yzak hissed, his glare deadly.

"What! You just can't barge in here!" The man shouted in both anger and fear, foolishly trying to push the door back against them. "I will have you arrested for trespassing!"

Yzak just might have made good of his threat but Dearka intervened before things could get out of hand.

Stepping quickly in between the two men, he locked eyes with the cabin's owner. "Shut up and listen to me. I just busted my butt to get my friend out of a real fix and have gone through one hell of a storm. All we want it a warm, dry place to stay the night or my friend is going to die. There is no way I'm going to let that happen. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

The man glared daggers at them, appearing to waver in indecision. He would have liked to see all of them dead but getting on the bad side of two angry Coordinators was something not to be taken lightly. He seemed on the verge of refusing again when Yzak's patience finally ran out.

"No Dearka," Yzak sneered and reaching into his belt, he pulled out a gun and pointed it squarely at the man's head. "It's pretty obvious that he doesn't understand. We're going to try my approach." He motioned to the man to step aside. "Move, now!"

The man's eyes widened and he backed away from the door and into the far corner; allowing the two boys to step into the warmth and out of the horrid storm. The one-room cabin was small. There was a small cot in the far corner while across from them was a stove, sink and refrigerator. Other than that, it was relatively sparse with the exception of the fireplace. Flames flickered from the well-established fire, bathing the room with much needed warmth

Dearka hurried over to the cot and gently eased Athrun down, careful not to jostle him or aggravate his injuries. That proved to be difficult and Athrun groaned as his back made contact with the gentle surface. Dearka then proceeded to cover him with two blankets that were folded neatly at the end of the cot.

Yzak kept the man at gunpoint and watched with a heavy heart as Dearka dealt with Athrun. Only now had they had a chance to survey the damage that had been done to their friend in detail. Even from where he was standing, he could see that the skin around Athrun's thin wrists had been rubbed completely raw. "How bad is it?"

"Not good," Dearka muttered. "He's weak. I think they may have done something to his left shoulder… actually, it's more like what didn't they do to him."

Yzak's features hardened slightly and his lips thinned. "We'll have to reset his shoulder."

Dearka nodded, feeling somewhat queasy. "This is sick. Who would do this to somebody?" Shaking his head, he took a deep breath and took hold of Athrun by the shoulders. It was probably best to do this while Athrun was only semi-conscious. "Ok… Yzak, get me something he can bite down on."

Eying the man in the corner, Yzak made his way over to the sink and grabbed a small washcloth. "Don't try anything," He warned him and then hurried back to the cot. "Or else I will kill you."

He knelt down beside Dearka and handed him the cloth and watched as his friend folded it up. Athrun's lips were parted slightly and when he put it up to his mouth, Athrun unconsciously bit down on it lightly.

"Athrun," Dearka tried. "Athrun, can you hear me?"

There was a low groan and Dearka and Yzak exchanged nervous glances.

"We have to reset your shoulder… it's going to hurt… a lot…do you understand?"

There was no response.

"I'll hold him, you set the bone," Yzak whispered.

Dearka glanced at Yzak who nodded his head.

"Ready when you are." He said.

Dearka placed his hands on Athrun's shoulder at just the right spot. He could feel the bone moving beneath his hands and when he had it placed properly, he glanced once at Athrun's face, seeing him bite down harder on the cloth.

"Hold him down," Dearka gritted his teeth and shifted so Yzak could lean over Athrun and pin him down to the cot. He had been trained to reset dislocated joints but during military training, it had been, more or less, something he had never taken overly seriously. He had hoped he'd never have to use that knowledge. Especially on someone like Athrun.

Dearka pulled back hard on the shoulder; Athrun's body arched in pain as his chin tilted upward. The cloth slipped from his mouth as his hoarse cry of agony echoed off the walls. For a brief second, his eyes popped open. Everything above him seemed to be spinning, getting darker and darker until at last Athrun saw nothing else but the blackness to which he had escaped once again.

There was a gut-wrenching crack as the bone popped back into place.

Athrun's entire body tensed and nearly flew off the cot had Yzak not been holding him down as a jolt of pain shot through his system. Seconds later, he went completely limp.

"Well," Yzak didn't know what to say. "If he wasn't out before, he is now."

"I hated that," Dearka muttered and stepped away from his friend. Fighting to hide the shock of what he had just done, Dearka then moved over to the oven and began rummaging through the cans of food on a shelf above it.

"What are you doing?" Yzak asked. He picked his gun back up and allowed himself to slide down to the floor and rest his head against Athrun's cot.

"I'm hungry," Dearka grumbled, finding a can of soup. "Besides, we have to get something into Athrun. I bet he hasn't eaten since _they_ grabbed him."

"You're probably right," Yzak sighed and leaned back, his eyes never leaving the man who was still sitting in the far corner of the room. "I guess we're stuck here."

Dearka shrugged. Pulling out a pot, he started to boil up some water. "You know…" He said after a while. "We should probably clean him up a bit. See if you can find a change of clothes and get him into something dry."

Yzak frowned and hesitated for a moment before turning attention to the broken body lying on the cot behind him. If his heart had ever been made of stone, it would have long since been broken. For a brief instant, he wondered if Athrun even knew where he was. He searched his face, hoping to find some sort of indication that his spirit hadn't been completely snuffed and was disappointed to find only a skeleton of the young man he had once known. Much to his shame, Yzak was afraid to touch him in fear that he would break in his arms. Pain spilled from every pore of his small body like a terrible disease or a sickness that had contaminated the very essence of his being.

As if sensing Yzak's discomfort, Dearka came over and elbowed him aside. "Finish making the soup and keep an eye on our kind host. I'll clean him up."

Yzak nodded his head thankfully and hurried over to the oven, placing his gun at Athrun's bedside.

Dearka set to work at once. First he filled a bowl with luke-warm water and grabbed a second washcloth from the sink. He found an over-sized, red sweater and a pair of slacks in a trunk beside the cot and eased Athrun out of his wet, torn clothing. Bruises, welts and abrasions, some old and fading, some fresh and painful, were revealed one by one as Dearka pealed off his grubby attire, leaving Athrun in only his boxers. Gently, he washed the blood and grim from his face and body. Athrun stirred and grimaced slightly, his brow knotted and his face pained.

As he carefully wiped away the blood from Athrun's left hand, Dearka grimaced when he saw how deep the cut across his pinky was. He inwardly cursed the Blue Cosmos for the umpteenth time and wished he had the proper instruments to better care for his friend. Somehow, water and a damp cloth just didn't seem to be enough.

After cleaning the cuts and bruises as best he could, Dearka re-dressed his friend and then laid him back down. Placing a hand on Athrun's forehead, he flinched when he felt the waves of heat radiating off the other boy's body. Athrun's temperature was rising with a vengeance.

Athrun stirred restlessly under Dearka's hand. His face reflected his pain as he moaned softly, shifting uncomfortably under the covers.

"Dearka!" Yzak cried suddenly. "The soup is boiling over!"

"Then turn the heat down."

"I'm not a kitchen maid! How the hell do I do that?"

Without thinking, Dearka left Athrun and stumbled over to help Yzak. At the same time, the man in the corner, who had remained silent up until that point, saw his chance. He lunged towards Athrun. Swiftly, the stranger reached into his pocket and brought out a pocket knife, aiming it directly at Athrun's throat.

The two pilots heard the knife click as it opened and spun around in complete shock. "Hey!"

Before anyone could blink, Athrun opened his wild, green eyes and punched the man in the face, sending him crashing to the hard floor. Athrun jumped out of his bed and grabbed the man up by his night shirt, slamming him into a nearest wall. He wasted no time and punched him in the stomach, his damaged, left hand never letting go of the man's shirt. He rammed his right knee into his abdomen and let him go – the man slumped over his knee, dazed.

The stranger held his stomach and choked on a cough but Athrun wasn't finished. He quickly withdrew his knee, the man falling to the floor. Athrun then dragged him to his feet only to bring back his fist and slam it into the man's face. The stranger dropped to the floor in a heap. Before he could open his eyes, he felt Athrun push him onto his back, straddling him. Athrun's left hand took hold of his throat and squeezed, slowly choking him.

The stranger clawed at his left arm and tried to call for help but nothing could escape his throat, including air – nor could it enter. He bucked violently as he tried to draw air into his lungs.

"Now, it's you turn." Athrun snarled, his voice hoarse and throaty. Reaching over, he snatched Yzak gun from the side of the cot. His eyes were glazed and unfocused, shimmering with fright and desperation. "You're going to die."

Athrun was about to pull the trigger when Dearka and Yzak finally snapped out of the shock that had momentarily paralyzed them. In unison, the two of them went for the gun.

"Athrun! No!'

Athrun quickly changed his target – turning the barrel of the gun away from the man and towards Yzak. Before pulling the trigger, however, Dearka pounced on him. The blond boy grabbed both of Athrun's arms, freeing the man, but Athrun still managed to pull the trigger. The bullet hit the wall, only because Yzak dove to the floor. Dearka knocked the gun out of Athrun's grip and trapped him in an arm lock from behind.

The man sat up gasping for air and Yzak quickly ran to his side to see if he was alright. He couldn't believe it. Athrun could have killed him…

"No!" Athrun shouted, pain in his voice. "Let me go!" He pleaded, struggling and kicking in Dearka's hold as much as his injured body would allow.

"Yzak! Do something!" Dearka yelled, losing his grip. "Talk to him! I'm loosing him!"

Yzak complied and grabbed both of Athrun's shoulders, holding them firmly to try to stop him from wriggling and ultimately hurting himself further. The man scrambled back to his corner, horrified by what had just transpired.

"No!" Athrun cried, struggling even more and Yzak had to squirm to the right to avoid being kicked. It was as if he was trapped in some sort of living nightmare – one of which he couldn't escape.

Dearka's face was turning red from the strain of trying to keep Athrun under control. He noticed Athrun's movements were awkward and uncoordinated and Dearka hoped that he was growing tired.

"Get away from me!" Athrun yelled, his voice cracking. "Leave me alone!"

"Athrun that's enough!" Yzak barked at him, stunned and somewhat unnerved by the fact that Athrun had just taken a shot at him… and almost hit him. "Athrun! It's us! Damn it! It's Dearka and Yzak! Now, stop it!"

"Yzak?" Athrun stopped fighting and looked around the room as if he was blind and had to listen for the other's voice. His head turned frenziedly from left to right, sweat pouring from every pore and seeping down his face.

Releasing his shoulders, Yzak straightened, his face only inches from the delirious youth. "Of course it is! Who else did you think it would be?"

Athrun's eyes finally locked with Yzak's own. "Yzak?" Athrun whispered in disbelief. Glancing over his shoulder, his glazed eyes widened. Their color had softened and it became apparent that he was no longer panicked. Instead, they began to moisten as unshed tears gathered in their corners. "And… Dearka?"

"That's right," Dearka told him and loosened his hold around Athrun's arms. Carefully he guided the confused boy to the cot and helped him lay back down. Dearka took a nervous breath and pulled the blankets back over Athrun who was quickly drifting off a second time. It was just too much for his exhausted mind and body to handle. As his eyes rolled back into his head and began to close, a lone tear managed to escape and rolled down his cheek.

Soon, he was once again asleep.

"He passed out." Dearka stated the obvious and dropped to the floor, exhausted.

Yzak, however, wasn't so quick to dismiss what had just happened. "What the hell was that?" He demanded. "All this time he's been more or less dead and suddenly he just decides to attack us!"

"I think he was delirious," Dearka explained wearily, resting his head on the side of the cot. "Up until now, I'd bet you that he thought he was still a prisoner."

"And that's a valid reason to try and kill me?"

"No," Dearka chuckled lightly. "I guess not."

Yzak breathed out heavily and moved over beside Dearka, picking up his gun from the ground. Throwing Athrun a cautious look, he then turned to the oven. They had managed to stop the soup from boiling over and now it was just bubbling slightly. "What about that soup?"

"Save it for when he wakes up again," Dearka muttered. Listening to the howling winds outside, he smiled weakly. "It looks like we'll be here for the night. We'll take turns keeping watch – just in case Athrun wakes up again or our unwilling host decides to pull of another stunt. Maybe tomorrow night we can rejoin Kira and the others."

"I sure hope so." Yzak snorted and stretched. The owner of the cabin had yet to move from his corner. Yzak grinned devilishly and motioned over at Athrun.

"You had better behave yourself," He told him. "Otherwise, we'll let him take another piece out of you and next time we may not intervene and stop him."

The man's face went white as his wide eyes moved from Yzak, to Athrun and then back to Yzak. "You can stay as long as you like," He stuttered and shrunk further into his corner. "Just don't hurt me."

Yzak chuckled and then allowed himself to relax against the side of the cot. It was going to be a long night.

**TBC**

Before anyone asks – I know Athrun was a little out of character but… well… he's been through a lot and people can react badly when they are delusional. Poor guy, and things will only get worse before they get better. Yzak seems like the guy that could boil over soup – I know I have.

I hope you liked the chapter though crosses fingers. I love writing Dearka and Yzak – they're so much fun! - Oh! The strange guy in the house is going to be important in the next chapter… that's why I put him in there.

I don't know when I will update next but it will hopefully be soon. Please review – I love hearing from people and I'm always open to suggestions. Anyway, for the next chapter, we're still going to be following Yzak and Dearka…because I enjoy writing them.

Until next time,

Krilyn

**Slightly Sinister Sinestra** I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I liked your idea better than mine about letting Maloby out. Yes, he'll come back but only at the end of the story… which I have yet to write. Thanks for reviewing… I'm still waiting for you to update…

**daisukiasu'n'caga** Thanks for reviewing! I've actually written up Cagalli's reaction… it will come about in two chapters. I hope it doesn't disappoint you.

**Kageharu Kaco** dances about I'm SOOO glad you like my story! It makes me happy to know you like it so much. I'll try to disappoint you with the end cause I still don't know what to do. I wanted to stay true to the GS timeline (as much as I could) and if I kill Jibril… that just won't work though… I'm thinking about doing it anyway. Meh, I duno – thanks again.

"…**.":** I'm happy Kira didn't get caught. I don't want to write any more torture scenes – it makes me despressed lol. Glad you liked the last chapter.


	15. The Calm

Hi!

I know some of you were worried that I would drop this story to work on the other one I started. Nope! See I updated it. I like this one too much and I want to finish it! Hehhehe. Thanks for reviewing everyone! This was a rushed post – I have to get to work! Don't want to get fired hehehe

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any other references made to either series… but Mik is mine lol.**

**Abhorrence**

**Chapter #15: The Calm**

"Hey, Zala?"

The words were muffled by a fog that seemed to prevent him from catching hold of compete consciousness, forcing him to linger between it and that of oblivion. He didn't have the strength to open his eyes as his brain slowly registered the voice speaking to him and gave it an owner. Only two people had ever spoken to him like that and only one spoke with such a sharp, demanding tone. Moaning,Athrun shifted weakly and forced his eyes open a crack. Immediately his visual senses were bombarded with images and he shuddered, unable to focus.

"Yzak?" His own voice was airy and just barely above a whisper as he licked his cracked, dry lips and moaned. He could vaguely feel his limbs but there was a bitter cold that had driven itself ruthlessly into his inner core and he found it difficult to move, even breathe. His chest felt heavy, his limbs stiff and unresponsive. He knew that his arms and legs were there, but for some reason they felt detached.

"Athrun?" This time it was Dearka and Athrun was able to make out the two forms loaming over him. "How are you feeling?"

Determined to answer, Athrun tried to take a deep breath. He gasped, gagged and instantly broke out in a painful coughing fit as the air refused to reach his lungs. His eyes watered as he clinched them shut and fought to draw in the breaths of air his body was demanding. He couldn't. It felt as though someone had taken hold of his windpipe and refused to let go.

"Breathe…" He wheezed, struggling to get the words out. "Can't…."

"He can't breathe!" Yzak declared the somewhat obvious but a quick and harsh glare from Dearka immediately silenced him. His brow furrowed with deep concern. After sleeping throughout the night and most of the day, Athrun had seemed to get worse. True, he was no longer frozen but now his body burned with fever and Dearka was at a loss as to what he should do.

"He'll be sick for a while," Dearka sighed. "You don't think he'll…"

"Don't you DARE even THINK about that!" Yzak sneered, averting his attention from Athrun to Dearka. His face was flaming with rage but it was more frustration and his helplessness in the situation that shone in his eyes. "Athrun will be FINE!"

"I'm just saying…"

"Shut up!"

"I didn't say I wanted him to die!" Dearka shot back. "After all we went through?"

"Well it sure sounds like it!"

"Oh shut up, Yzak!" Dearka snapped and carefully placed a cloth on Athrun's warm forehead. His heart twisted painfully when Athrun withdrew from him and tensed as if he half expected Dearka to strike him.

Athrun could hear someone arguing but he couldn't make out the words. They were coming too quickly and he coughed slightly, forcing his body to calm down. His entire being now felt as though it was on fire, as though he was burning and he moaned softly.

Quiet but rapid gasps escaped him as he struggled to breathe, clinching his eyes even tighter. Everything felt so distant. He couldn't move yet his body continued to violently wrench forward as he coughed. Again and again, he could feel his stomach squeezing with each cough that escaped his lips until finally he suddenly lurched forward and emptied what little he had in his stomach onto the floor.

Tears of frustration stung his eyes as his body went slack and he fell back onto his back, groaning. Pain flared up in his abdomen and lanced across his shoulders, particularly his left shoulder as the spasms sent him reeling. Exhausted, he could feel consciousness swimming in and out of him and he quivered helplessly.

Yzak and Dearka immediately responded.

Yzak rushed to clean up the mess that Athrun had left on the floor while Dearka readjusted the damp cloth on Athrun's forehead. He could feel the heat rolling off of his brow and grimaced.

Dearka looked down at his friend with a heavy heart. Athrun's breathing was shallow, his movements growing less and less noticeable and he looked flushed and pale at the same time. He knew they were loosing him… but he wasn't gone. Not yet. He was fighting. Although Athrun's eyes were sealed shut and his vital signs were fading, Dearka could see that his friend was desperately clinging to his life by a thread… even if it was only a thin thread… he wasn't giving up.

"Come on," He pleaded. "You have got to hang in there."

In his semi-conscious state, Athrun could feel death reaching out to greet him and indeed, he almost wanted to embrace it. He was so weak, so sore, he was feverish yet numb at the same time and he felt as though he was slowly being suffocated. His breaths were coming slower now and didn't satisfy his body's needs. This darkness that was stretching out a welcoming hand promised relief from his pain, his agony and he could feel his body pleading for him to give in.

However, voices held him back. Kept him fighting. He could just barely hear them but knew that these voices we're those of friends and people who cared about him. He didn't want to let go, he didn't want to leave them. And so he continued to resist against the lingering darkness, even though it was gradually sapping away his strength and will to struggle.

"Close your eyes and have some rest," Dearka, and carefully straightened Athrun's blankets. The young man sagged lower into the cot and moaned. He was drifting again… everything hurt so badly. His limbs were numb and deadened and his mind was slow – all because of that horrible drug that Jibril had insisted on giving him over and over again. Strangely enough, however, he felt cold and warm sensations rage war in his body and trembled under the siege. He was drowning. Fluid was making it difficult to breathe and he was almost afraid to close his eyes on the chance he may never open them again.

He shook his head weakly but had no strength left to fend off the darkness that consumed him.

Dearka sighed and settled back onto the floor and stared at him, eyes narrowed. His pained moans had kept him up for the better part of the last 24 hours and made his insides wrench painfully but as long as Athrun made them he knew that he still had some strength left. He quickly took Athrun's pulse, frowning with concern as he found it weak and thready. His breath was coming in short bursts, although his color was still reasonably good. Suddenly Athrun began to cough. Slowly at first but then they became increasingly violent and soon, he was choking again.

Dearka rolled him onto his side, patting his back as he choked and hacked forcefully.

He made a whimpering noise, and then began to violently cough up a mix of saliva and blood onto the floor. There was a fair amount of blood, Dearka noticed with distaste but didn't draw away from him. He wasn't disgusting nor was he repulsive. He was a friend. A friend that had been abused beyond reason. A friend who needed his help. His body expelled blood and saliva for a good ten minutes until he heaved with no result. Dearka held his hair back as he trembled and then went limp again.

Carefully, Dearka wiped away the blood that trickled from the corner of his bottom lip. He then got up to clean up the mess he had made on the floor while Yzak threw another log into the fire.

"I don't think we can move him?" He muttered softly as he sat beside Yzak by the fire. "He's getting worse."

"Do we have choice?" Yzak replied, his expression grim. "If we don't, he dies. If we do, he might at least have a chance."

"I didn't think Coordinators could get sick," Dearka thought out loud. "They've really messed him up good."

"We'll leave as soon as the sun sets." Yzak announced and glanced up at the owner of the cabin. He hadn't moved since the previous night. "Do you have any sort of transportation?"

The man nodded but said nothing.

"What have you got?"

"A car." The man muttered bitterly.

"We're taking it," Yzak informed him and the look in his eyes warned the man of the consequences should he choose to argue the point. The man hesitated for a second before cursing loudly and pulling the keys from his pocket. With a bit more force than Yzak might have liked, the man threw them at him. He caught them with ease and settled back down beside Dearka.

The two sat in silence by the fire for about two hours, watching the flames as they licked at the outer rim of the fireplace. Neither one wanted to admit it but they were worried. Very worried.

The two perked up when they heard a low groan. Athrun was awake.

Dearka twisted his head around his shoulder and smiled at him. His smile broadened when he saw Athrun's green eyes focus on the blazing fire. Relief in his bright eyes, he hurried over to the stove where they had kept the pot of soup boiling. Quickly, he poured a small bowl full and placed it on a tray.

"Athrun?"

Athrun continued to gaze blankly at the fire before he finally looked up. He managed a small, timid smile when he saw Yzak and Dearka staring down at him and holding out a tray to him. Opening his mouth, he tried desperately to speak to them but found that it required too much air so he chose to whisper a hoarse "Hi." Instead. His vision continually fell in and out of focus which annoyed him to no end as the image in front of him blurred.

"Hey pal, we made you some soup," Dearka was unaffected by Athrun's short response, or at least, he didn't show it as he knelt down next to him and showed it to him. "Feeling any better?"

"He couldn't have felt too bad before," Yzak grumbled under his breath. "If he was well enough to try and blow my head off."

Athrun nodded, closing his eyes.

"Hey!"

The urgency of Dearka's voice caused Athrun's glassy eyes to gradually re-open and he stared vacantly at him.

"Eyes open," Dearka ordered sternly and held out a spoon of soup for Athrun to see. "You have been in an out so much the last couple days we haven't had the chance to get much of anything into your system."

Athrun blinked. He didn't remember awakening. The smell of the soup was most inviting and his stomach knotted in need. He was hungry. Opening his mouth a crack, Athrun watched as Dearka placed the spoon in his mouth and he swallowed.

"How… long…" He mumbled lowly, flinching in pain as his body instantly demanded the ejection of the nourishment. Air, food, it didn't matter as his muscles spasmed and he hiccupped weakly.

"You were out of it pretty much since we broke you out." Dearka replied and grinned at Yzak and then the man in the corner. "Yesterday, you attacked this nice old man here and fired a shot at Yzak. Aside from that though, you've been more or less laid up."

Athrunshivered slightly and coughed, saliva dripping from the side of his mouth but he hadn't the strength to wipe it away. His hair and entire body was damp from sweat and he was conscious enough to know he was running a fever.

"Attacked?" He asked though the words were hardly audible. Swallowing another small spoonful of the broth, he struggled to keep his eyes focused on his friends. "I'm sorry."

Yzak snorted and shook his head. "Don't worry about it," He assured him as Dearka urged him to finish his soup. "You're a lousy shot."

"Hmmm," Athrun found the soup soothed his parched throat and relaxed beneath the blankets that covered him. He sat up a little, his head propped up by a pillow, and leaned forward as Dearka offered him another spoonful.

"Cagalli?' He inquired, hoping that she was ok. He hadn't seen her since he'd been captured and hoped desperately that nothing had happened to her.

"She's fine," Dearka replied and beamed. "She's with Kira and Lacus back at the hotel. We'll be joining them just as soon as the sun goes down. Everyone has been worried sick about you did you know that? Just can't seem to stay out of trouble can you?"

Athrun smiled as Dearka continued to prattle on and on, content to just listen. Already he was starting to feel a little better though his left shoulder was still extremely sore. Still frail, he could at least sit up on his own and find his bearings. His eyes shifted to the stranger and he frowned slightly when the man cowered under his watchful gaze.

"I really attacked that guy?"

Dearka shrugged. "Well, he went after you first. Still, it scared the hell out of us."

Athrun raised an eyebrow and looked up at the silver haired pilot. "Yzak?"

"I wasn't scared." Yzak protested but a jab from Dearka silenced him.

"You dropped like a rock."Dearka snickered but didn't push the issue. Moving to the window, he peered out, taking note of the fact the storm seemed to have finally passed. The world was covered in a fresh blanket of white. The sun was just beginning to make its noble descent and he straightened. He could hear Athrun and Yzak exchanging light shots at one another and his brow furrowed in concern.

"Hey Yzak," He cleared his throat, his expression suddenly becoming extremely serious. When his felt he had his friend's attention he signaled towards the door. "If we are going to do this…"

Yzak clinched his fists at his sides and turned to Athrun. His friend was sitting up though he still looked incredibly weak and Yzak was disgusted by how scrawny he appeared. The sweater they had found for him was two sizes to big and hung loosely over his delicate shoulders and his hair hung over his flashy, green eyes. He really wasn't in much condition to travel far but Yzak knew they couldn't hold out much longer. Athrun needed help. And he needed it fast. Besides, they were in unsafe territory.

"Are you up to travel?" Dearka asked the question that Yzak was pondering.

Athrun blinked before he nodded his head slightly in the affirmative. He seemed somewhat sad though as he dropped his gaze, looking down at the raw abrasions around his wrists from where they had been bound behind his back.

_She doesn't love you…_

"How did you find me?" He asked suddenly. "How did you know?"

"That's a long story," Dearka laughed awkwardly but stopped when he saw the pained expression on Athrun's face. "We had a hell of a time finding you."

"Hmm," Athrun bit his lip, thinking. "They were going to kill me," He muttered more to himself than anyone around him. "I was so sure I was going to die."

"Oh!" Yzak jolted upright when he remembered the pendant he had found. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out the shiny pink stone that now hung on the broken chain and tossed it over to Athrun. It landed in his lap and Yzak cocked his head in confusion when he saw the startled expression on Athrun's face. "I forgot. I picked this up in your cell – I'm assuming it's yours."

Athrun didn't even hear him. Staring down at the pendant, he reached out from under his blankets and carefully took the pendant in trembling fingers. He ran his thumb along its smooth surface as the horrid memories came rushing back to him, forcing their way into his mind despite his best attempts to block them out.

_Do you truly believe that Miss. Cagalli cares about you?_

_You are stupidly stubborn!_

_Look at me you little freak!_

_Look at what your loyalty has brought you!_

_Real men don't wear jewelry!_

_Enjoy your last few hours alive!_

_She doesn't love you!_

Dearka and Yzak exchanged puzzled glances when they saw Athrun's eyes suddenly clinch shut, tears gathering beneath his eyelids. He dropped his head and was now quivering faintly. A few stray tears slid down his cheeks down to his chin and his grip around the pendant increased. He held it so tightly that it would surely break if he tightened his hold just a little more.

It wouldn't stop. It would never stop. He kept hearing them. Their voices in his mind. Shouting at him. Yelling obscenities at him. Screaming questions at him and he cringed under their relentless torment. Lurching forward, he buried his head in his hands and choked back a pitiful sob, silently begging them to stop. He didn't have to be brave anymore. He couldn't pretend that what they did to him didn't hurt him. No longer did he have to bit back the feelings that swelled inside of him and so he let them all pour out through his unshed tears.

"Athrun?" Dearka took a step forward, stunned by the open vulnerability his friend was demonstrating. "Athrun… it's ok…"

The two ZAFT pilots stared in awe as their friend whimpered softly to himself. Neither of them knew what to say and so they remained silent. Who were they to judge him when they couldn't even imagine what he had been through?

"Athrun?"

"I'm…" Athrun gulped and forced himself to swallow. His voice was shaking as he shakily raised his head, his eyes puffy and moist. Blinking back the tears that still threatened to fall, he cleared his throat to regain his composure. This wasn't like him. He shouldn't be like this. Gritting his teeth he willed himself to get a hold of himself and mentally scolded himself for almost breaking down in front of his comrades. His trembling fingers still held the pendant firmly as he commanded himself to answer.

"I'm fine." He lied.

Dearka and Yzak nodded. That was a very Athrun-like thing to say and it was obvious that he wasn't being truthful. Still, they chose not to call him out on it. The last thing Athrun needed was some of their innocent jabs and jokes. He would probably take them to heart.

"Well, we aren't out of the clear yet," Yzak announced suddenly. Seeing Athrun so distraught made him uncomfortable and he didn't think he could bare it any longer. "Let's go."

Reaching down, he grabbed Athrun be his good arm and helped him up to his feet. Athrun stumbled, his legs seemingly boneless and it took him a second to regain his balance. Athrun hissed as the world titled and he felt nauseous. He coughed weakly before managing to steady himself, leaning on Yzak for support.

The man watched the trio as they made their way slowly towards the door. Dearka hustled over and wrapped his arm beneath Athrun's armpits to help keep him upright while Yzak opened the door.

"I don't know who you are," The man growled at their backs, his voice steadily rising. "But I hope you get yours!"

Yzak started but Dearka stopped him. Together the three plowed their way through the heavy snow towards the car that the man had said he owned.

"Forget him," He instructed. "Help me get Athrun in here."

"Fine," Yzak moved around and opened the back door to the four person vehicle and helped guide a very unsteady Athrun Zala into the back seat. He misjudged the distance off the ground and his left arm bumped against the door and he groaned. He twisted and tried to get through the door and although Yzak tried to help him, he only made it worse.

"Damn it, Zala," Yzak growled. "Move your foot."

"I'm doing my best," Athrun grumbled and finally succeeded in climbing into the car. "You're not helping."

Dearka rolled his eyes and reached over to pull the seatbelt around Athrun. He directed Yzak to the passenger seat and then dashed around to the other side. As he moved, he used his arm to brush off some of the snow that had accumulated on the windshield of the vehicle. Opening the door, he let himself in and flopped into the diver's seat.

"Who said you could drive?" Yzak demanded but handed the keys over to Dearka as he spoke. They both knew it was not the time to argue.

"Hold on!" Dearka called to Athrun and turned on the ignition. Athrun swallowed to moisten his dry throat and slumped back against the door, resting his head against the window. His eyes began to flutter shut and he coughed faintly.

Yzak heard the small sound and twisted around to look behind him. Athrun was asleep - his limp form sprawled over the back seat. His head hung low and his hair fell over his eyes, concealing them from view. He looked so small, so fragile and helpless sitting slumped over as he was and Yzak could hardly believe he was staring at the boy he had once competed with in ZAFT.

"He's out again." He informed Dearka as the other young man reversed out from the driveway and pointed the car towards town.

"Let him sleep," Dearka replied. "We've got to get Kira, Lacus and Cagalli and then get out of here. It will be a long ride for him."

Yzak snorted and shifted in his seat to get comfortable. At least Athrun was somewhat cognitive and they were no longer turning into popsicles in the merciless hands of winter. Things were definitely looking up.

Neither of them thought to look back to the lone cabin in which they had spent that night. If they had, they would have seen the man inside pick up his phone and speed dial his good friend. The man watched through the foggy window as the car set off for town, his eyes blazing.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Jibril. This is Mik. I have some information that you may be interested in." In a rush the man explained to him how he had stumbled across his three visitors and what their intentions were. He smiled. "You know the hotel Miss. Cagalli is staying at?"

On the other end of the line, Jibril nodded, his expression hardening. "I will find out. We'll meet them there. Thanks, Mik. I'm going to give my associate a call – he'll explain where to find them. Don't worry. We'll get them."

**TBC**

Gah! The Blue Cosmos are everywhere! Hehehhe. Poor Athrun – at least he was more like himself. Anyway, I will update again as soon as I can. Thanks again to all who reviewed! I love reading them.

The next chapter Athrun and Cagalli FINALLY meet up again… this chapter will be long but hopefully you all won't mind. Please let me know if there's anything you want to see happen ok?

Until next time,

Krilyn

**Kageharu Kaco** No worries…. Athrun will get… um… worse and then better ok? He'll be alright…he's my fav character! Hurray for Victoria day for letting me have an extra day to work on my story! It would be very satisfying to kill Jibril…

**daisukiasu'n'caga**: Thanks for the idea about nightmares! Nah, I won't kill Cagalli or Athrun. I promise.

**Slightly Sinister Sinestra** I don't like writers block. It is evil. Thanks for the advice about stories though – I won't be starting any more till I finish this one.

**Cari-Akira**: I always figured Dearka and Yzak would be good friends if they were forced in a situation where they had to be. I'm glad you like them. I like the idea of seed mode… I'll use that in my next chapter! THANK YOU!

"…**." **I know all about rushing… I'm rushing to get this posted as I type lol. I'm happy you are enjoying my story – thanks for the review!

**Omi:** Glad you like it!

**mingathur** Supersonic? I would like to be that lo… truth is that I am pretty well already finished this story (minus editing and such) so I'm not really supersonic… I would like to be though hehehe. I like Yzak too… he's an interesting guy to write. More so than Kira (personal opinion) Yup, I put Maloby in to be the messenger. That was my original intent though I'm thinking I might use him more often. Thanks again!


	16. Shattered Reunions

Hi again!

Well, here's the next chapter – it is a little longer but well… I got little carried away. Thanks again to all who reviewed! I think there is only … 4 more chapters to this story! Wow! I'll be so sad when I finish it.

**Warning:**Violence and gun play ahead – don't read it if you're sensitive to this sort of thing ok?

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any other references to either series. The final confrontation idea (three people in the hotel) came from this old series I watched on TV called "Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction" – this story was fiction about a ghost that came back to haunt two lovers. I don't know who the author was but… the credit goes to him or and the writers from the show.**

**Abhorrence**

**Chapter#15: Shattered Reunions**

Night had fallen for the second time since Kira had returned from their attempt to rescue Athrun. Unable to leave their room on the chance that the others may arrive, Cagalli, Lacus and himself had felt all but stranded. He sat on one of the beds beside Lacus, absent-mindedly swinging his feet to remove excess energy. Looking up at the window, he let out a long sigh. The storm that had taken a fierce hold over the town was only now starting to settle. He refused to believe the worst, that the others had been recaptured, and therefore assumed that the storm had held them up.

It was a lot harder to convince Cagalli of that though.

"I thought they were supposed to meet us here?" Cagalli had her face pressed against the window, leaving a mark where he nose touched the glass. From the window she couldn't see the front of the building but she insisted on staring out of it regardless.

Kira stood and moved towards the door. "They probably got caught up in the storm," He said for the umpteenth time. "I'm sure they will come tonight."

"You said that last night."

"I'm sure Yzak and Dearka are doing what is best for them," Lacus pointed out. "And Athrun. To risk travel in the kind of weather we had yesterday would have been foolish. They might have frozen to death."

Kira recognized the look in Cagalli's eyes and fired Lacus an abrupt glare that silently thanked her for adding to his sister's list of things to worry about. Lacus bowed her head in shame, immediately realizing her mistake.

"Perhaps I could go wait for them by the front entrance?" Kira offered. "That way, we wouldn't miss them."

Cagalli slumped and nodded, never once taken her eyes off of the window. "Fine, do what you want."

Kira started towards the door but Lacus quickly stopped him. Grabbing his sleeve she shook her head warily. "You shouldn't go alone. I will go with you."

Kira knew that Lacus felt bad about her last remark and was looking for a way to avoid making any further off hand remarks that could upset Cagalli. He didn't argue and nodded. They needed some time to themselves and he was sure that Cagalli needed some time to unwind. Their presence didn't seem to be helping matters.

He opened the door and slid through the crack with Lacus close behind. He paused. "Cagalli?" He poked his head out from behind the door. "Are you going to be ok here?"

"Yes," She mumbled. "I want to be alone for a while anyway. Just turn off the light on your way out alright?"

Kira did just that before closing the door behind him softly and following Lacus down the hall. There was a heavy silence between them as they matched their pace step for step until they reached the main doors. The hotel attendant from behind the front desk eyed them suspiciously but said nothing as they lingered around the glass doors, peering out into the darkness.

The reflection of the streetlights shimmered off the newly-fallen snow like gems and Kira quickly found himself hypnotized by their beauty. His left arm snaked around Lacus' slender waist and he pulled her close, letting his fingers trace the thin curvatures of her hips. Under any other circumstances, the atmosphere would have been undeniably romantic for the two of them.

"You know," He whispered softly in her ear, somewhat amused when she shuttered against him. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

"It's a difficult time for Cagalli," Lacus agreed. She let her head rest on Kira's firm chest and purred when he wrapped both of his strong arms around her. "I'm scared for them, Kira… both of them."

"Athrun will be fine." Kira told her, wishing the words had come out with more certainty than they had.

"Will he?" Lacus tilted her head and looked up at him. "What if they hurt him, Kira? What if…"

"What if he's just fine?" Kira asked. He didn't want to tell her what Maloby had told him in fear that it would upset her. "Worrying about it won't do us any good until we actually see him."

Lacus shifted in her boyfriend's arms and let her eyes wonder out into the street. Little did she notice the shadows moving about on the road, ducking and sneaking around the parked cars as well as around the buildings across the street. She frowned and lifted her head when she saw a car approaching. It was moving cautiously and gradually slowed to a stop until it reached the hotel. She blinked and leaned forward. Her grip around Kira tightened. She couldn't make out the driver but the passenger had an unmistakable head of thin, silver hair. The silver-haired boy stepped out of the vehicle and moved to the back, passenger door.

"Kira!" She gasped. "Kira! It's them!"

"Yzak!" Kira called and almost fell over when Lacus suddenly darted forward, his arms still holding her.

The couple hurried towards the vehicle just as Dearka came around from the driver's seat. Dark circles hung beneath his eyes and he looked a little disheveled but he smiled nonetheless. He helped Yzak open the back door and reaching in, he managed to swing one of Athrun's arms around his neck to help him out.

Lacus froze and when Kira caught up with her, he grabbed her tightly. Both couldn't believe what they saw.

Unsteady on his feet, Athrun almost slipped as Dearka held him upright. His face was painted with blue and black bruises and he looked like a ghost. His skin was pasty white and his eyes seemed dilated. His silky-smooth hair was tousled and matted down, making it even more difficult to see his face. The over-sized sweater clung to his lithe form and Lacus felt the color drain from her face when she saw just how thin he had become. He lurched forward and coughed but the sound was barely audible.

"Oh my…" Lacus whispered and took a cautious step forward. "Athrun…"

His head flew up and his eyes moved about wildly as if trying to find her. She saw a faint smile split his face when his gaze finally fell upon her. Reaching out a trembling hand, he took a step towards her. "L…Lacus?"

"Athrun, you're alive." Lacus breathed and threw her arms around him in a gentle embrace. She felt his entire body collapse into her and winced as she supported his weight. The fact that she could do so frightened her. Lacus had seen Athrun's face and could only imagine what damage his clothing concealed. He felt like a china doll in her grip and she was ashamed to admit that she was almost afraid to touch him. Afraid that he might very well shatter in her arms.

"Athrun!" Kira smiled though his brow etched with deep concern. He exchanged looks with the ZAFT pilots who both nodded, knowing exactly what he was thinking. Kira put a hand on Athrun's shoulder and squeezed gently. It was Athrun's left shoulder.

To Kira's horror, Athrun let out a sharp cry of pain and his legs nearly buckled. Cowering away from Kira, Athrun gritted his teeth and shook his head, fighting back the rush of pain that had just flooded his system. "I'm… sorry, Kira. It's just…"

"It's okay." Kira answered and removed his hand, letting it drop to his side. He then looked away, thinking. His gut twisted in disgust at what had been done to his friend. They had starved him, clearly beaten him beyond reason and for Athrun to openly display such pain… Kira shuddered. Athrun had always been strong. For the Blue Cosmos to bring him to this… Kira couldn't help but wonder whether or not he would have been able to endure whatever his friend had been forced to go through.

"Cagalli?" Athrun's voice brought Kira back to attention and he turned back towards his friend. "Is she alright?"

If Athrun hadn't been as he was, Kira might have laughed. Athrun was the one who was hurting yet he was more concerned about Cagalli than himself. Kira smiled kindly. They may have all but ruined his body but deep down, he was still the Athrun Zala they all knew and adored.

"She's in her room," He explained, carefully observing the way Athrun's expression contorted strangely. He looked almost tentative and unsure about seeing her. "Room 27 on the third floor."

Athrun nodded once as another coughing fit took hold of him.

Lacus released him and moved back to Kira. She watched in painful sympathy as Dearka struggled to keep Athrun upright as he coughed, hacked and choked. His eyes clamped shut so tightly that they watered as he fought to regain his composure. He probably would have fallen right over had it not been for Dearka holding him.

"He's so weak." Lacus muttered fearfully to Kira who answered with a slight nod.

"I'll go get Cagalli and we'll be out of here," Kira told them and spun on his heels back towards the hotel.

He took two steps forward but was stopped by the soft sound of Athrun's voice calling him. He halted in his tracks and scowled, confused. "What is it?"

"I… I need to talk to Cagalli," Athrun breathed heavily, his eyes pleading with the shorter boy to understand. "Please, let me be the one to go get her."

Yzak, who had remained silent up to this point, raised an eyebrow. "You can hardly walk."

"I can make it," Athrun retorted, insulted by his former comrade's remark. Determined to stand under his own power, he untangled his arm from around Dearka and gritted his teeth. He felt his legs shaking from the strain but somewhere he found the strength to keep himself from sagging into the snow. "I won't be long…I need to see her."

Kira exchanged worried looks with Lacus as Athrun took a shaky step forward. Dearka also looked perplexed but didn't try to interfere as Athrun fumbled with the front door to the hotel. He opened it just enough to slide his slender frame between the two doors and then continued to hobble down the lobby. His movements were awkward and wobbly as if he was learning to walk for the first time.

"Should we go after him?" Lacus asked. Her grip around Kira tightened as she clung furiously to his waist. "What if he hurts himself?"

"I don't think he will." Kira replied. He recognized the look in Athrun's eyes. The look that had always told him that Athrun needed to do something. Unconsciously, he ran a hand through Lacus' long, pink hair and sighed. "Whatever he has to say to Cagalli must be important…and I think we should let him do as he asked."

Yzak grunted and teetered on his heels beside the car. "Whatever he needs to say to her can't be that important."

"Who are we to say?" Kira demanded. "Give him a couple minutes with Cagalli – it can't hurt anything can it?"

"He'll probably fall down the stairs," Yzak muttered. "I'm not cleaning up the mess when that happens."

"Shut up, Yzak." Dearka piped up and swatted him over the back of the head. Normally he was in good spirits but the strain of the last 46 hours was beginning to take its toll on him and he was starting to become a little edgy. "Don't forget how worked up that gal was about him. He was probably worried about her too, you know how Athrun is."

Everybody nodded.

So preoccupied were they that nobody noticed the shadowy figure climbing up the side of the hotel from one balcony to the next towards the third floor. Towards the window of room 27.

Meanwhile, as Athrun slowly made his way up the stairs, he was seriously reconsidering his decision. Was what he had to say to her really that important? Did he really want to know the answers to the questions he wanted to ask? He groaned as another dizzy spell overtook him and he stumbled to the side of the stairs, reaching blindly for the wall for support.

Beads of sweat rolled down from his brow as his breathing came in heavy pants. The drug was still in his system. He could feel it raging havoc inside of him as he fought for control. If he let himself fall, he doubted he would be able to get back up. Athrun shook his head. He did not want to be seen lying prone in a stairwell. Yzak and Dearka would never let him hear the end of it.

Eyes narrowing, he crawled up the stairs, leaning on the wall to keep himself upright. Everything seemed to be moving further and further away from him. Never had a hotel room seemed so distant. It felt as if he had been walking for miles but he had to reach Cagalli. He had to know. His heart beat painfully and he felt almost ashamed of himself. In many ways he was strong but in others he was weak and extremely vulnerable. He had survived through his ordeal at the hands of the Blue Cosmos for her, knowing that he couldn't leave her because he loved her. And she loved him. At least, that is what he had believed to be true. He needed to know. After everything he had been told, after all the pain, he needed to hear it from her. He needed her to confirm the love that he had always believed they had shared for one another.

The journey to Room 27 completely exhausted him and when he reached the door that led to it, he had to stop and catch his breath. He felt miserable. Never could he recall a time he had felt so poorly… not even after having been thrown from the explosion of the Aegis. It felt as though someone had connected him to a machine that gradually pumped the life right out of him.

From inside her room, Cagalli was staring emptily through the slightly-open window into the lonely streets. So many thoughts were coursing through her mind as emotions flooded her heart. She was fighting for a peaceful world and a world where people could live in happiness. Yet, she would not. If finding true peace meant loosing the people she cared about… was it really worth it? At one point she would have said yes, now she wasn't so sure.

She tensed when she heard a soft thumping coming from down the hall. She straightened and turned towards the door. The moonlight from the window behind her cast out her shadow onto the floor and she shivered. The sound was faint and it certainly wasn't Kira's footsteps. She reached back into her belt and pulled out her pistol and held it firmly in her left hand.

"Kira?" She called hesitantly.

Nothing.

The sound grew near and she shuddered slightly as the door to her room began to open. He heart stopped. "Lacus? Answer me!"

She re-adjusted her aim, intending to shot should the intruder be someone other than her two friends. She would not be taken down. Not until she either found Athrun or avenged him.

Just then, the door flew open and slammed loudly against the wall. The light from the hall illuminated the silhouette of a gangly figure whose legs quivered beneath him. His wild hair danced about his chin as he desperately clung to the wall. The stranger's deep, green eyes shimmered hauntingly in the moonlight and when they fixed themselves on her, Cagalli froze.

Athrun drank in the sight before him, oblivious to the fact she was holding a gun in her hand. Cagalli, she was alright. Exhausted from more than just the walk up to her room, Athrun forced a small smile. Even though he could barely make her out, she had never looked more beautiful.

"Cagalli…"

Relief overwhelmed him and his legs finally gave out. Without warning, the young man in the doorway suddenly collapsed to the floor in an unmoving heap.

"Athrun!" Cagalli cried as she recklessly threw the gun aside and made a frantic dash towards him. The few meters that separated them seemed to stretch into eternity as she collapsed beside him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She pulled him close, crushing her body against his in a tight embrace. Burying her head in his chest, she reached up with a shaky hand and wiped the damp strands of blue hair from his eyes. Tears shimmered in her own auburn orbs as she held him, feeling the beat of his heart against her own.

It took a moment for Athrun to register what was happening and for a minute, he was paralyzed. Then, he felt it. The cold and bitter despair that had clung to him since his capture vanished as the heat radiating off of Cagalli flooded his senses. Slowly, he returned her embrace and relaxed, ignoring the throbbing pain, from his numerous injuries, the fierce contact caused.

When she felt Athrun respond, Cagalli's head shot up. Her eyes bored into the pair of twinkling emeralds gazing down at her. Before she knew what she was doing, she lifted her head and captured his icy, blue lips with her own. She felt a tremor wrack his body but she didn't withdraw. Instead, she laced her hands in his thick hair and pulled him closer. She poured all of her passion, joy, relief and anger into the kiss and grinned against his lips when he moaned weakly and deepened the kiss.

The kiss ended when Athrun pulled away, gasping. He dropped back to his hands and knees, his fists clinching tightly at his sides until his knuckles went white. His breathing was shallow as he fought to draw air into his lungs. Sweat poured down his face and soon his shallow gasps turned into violent coughs.

"Athrun, what is it?" Cagalli gripped his right shoulder tightly as he shuddered with each cough that ripped itself from his throat. The moonlight shifted again as a gentle breeze caused the window curtains to flutter and Cagalli could see a strange metallic substance on his trembling lips. She froze, trying to bury the fear that she knew he could see so plainly on her face. "Oh… my god…"

"I know," Athrun croaked as his coughing subsided. Holding onto her shoulders, he tried to stand though she more or less had to guide him to his feet.

He was dangerously unsteady and it was a wonder that he had managed thus far without passing out. He shook but didn't resist as she, once again, hugged him and let his head rest on her shoulder.

"Cagalli I…"

"Shhh," She hushed him. "Save your strength. We'll get you to a doctor and everything will be just fine. Just… stay awake."

She felt Athrun nod his head in compliance. "I feel terrible."

For Athrun to openly admit he was feeling 'terrible' meant in fact that he already had one foot in the grave. Any injury he had sustained in the past had always been 'just a scratch,' or 'nothing' and he was always 'fine.' This time, there was none of this. He made no attempt to shrug off or deny the fact he was suffering.

"Don't worry," Cagalli told him, trying to keep her voice steady. "When we reach the doctor's, he or she will fix you right up." It frightened her to know that her words were meant more or less to convince her rather than him.

"Sure," Athrun made an attempt to smile as he clung to her to maintain his balance. He seriously doubted that anyone could ever repair the damage that had been done to his body and his mind. "I'm sure they will."

"Come on," She said, pulling away and taking his hand. "We have to get you to a hospital. Orb territory is not that far away."

Obediently, he allowed her to lead him to the door but then stopped short at the threshold. Puzzled, Cagalli turned back and raised a concerned eyebrow, her brown eyes questioning. "What is it?"

"It's just…" Athrun lowered his gaze, somewhat embarrassed. "I…I need to know something."

"Athrun?" Cagalli closed the distance between them, tilting her head up to better see his pale and battered face. Her expression was serious as she watched him warily. He was like a trembling child, almost afraid and uncertain of everything around him. Even her. "Talk to me."

"I…" Athrun's voice faltered as he struggled to contain himself. The pain of the last few weeks was fresh in his mind, as was the fading hope he had had that someone might come for him and the doubts Jibril had planted in his head. His eyes wavered and moistened though he refused to let the tears fall.

"It was three weeks…." He fumbled over the words as his throat tightened with emotion. "Why… I thought…I mean…you didn't give up on me… did you?"

Cagalli's eyes widened as she realized what Athrun was so awkwardly trying to say. He thought that she didn't care! He wanted to know why they hadn't rescued him sooner! More tears gathered in the corners of her eyes as she threw her arms around him.

"Oh Athrun! We tried so hard to get you back! They wanted money but then… when they found out who you were, they refused to follow through with the deal we had made! Dearka and Yzak searched for days and Kira worked for three weeks to find you! We… we got you out as soon as we could! I'm so sorry! For everything!"

Athrun didn't say anything as she sobbed openly into his chest. He didn't need to. They held each other, in the emptiness of the hotel room, content to be in each other's arms. Cagalli's sobs slowly seized and for what seemed like hours, they just stood in the doorway, caught in a tight embrace. It had been a long time since Athrun had felt so much at peace.

"Say it for me, Cagalli," He murmured suddenly, his face hidden in her blond hair. He needed to know the truth. He needed to reconfirm what he had known to be true from the moment he had laid eyes on her. "Please, say it. Forgive me but so much has happened – I need to hear those exact words. I need to know… I need to hear it from you. Please… Cagalli…"

He could feel the grip around his waist strengthen. "I love you, Athrun," She whispered without hesitation.

He hugged her tightly, relief and pure joy rushing over him. The fear and confusion that had forced its way into his mind evaporated and the words Jibril had spoken to him, the lies and stories, finally took their leave. "Promise me you'll always say it."

"I promise," Cagalli took an oath, an oath she had long before he had asked her to. "I will always love you, Athrun."

"My, my, my…isn't this jet pull at your heart strings? The little Orb Princess with her little Coordinator companion." Jibril's all too familiar voice sung out from the open window to Cagalli's room and shattered the heart-felt reunion.

The couple broke apart and Athrun instinctively stepped in front of Cagalli. "You again…" His eyes narrowed in recognition.

"Yes me again," Jibrili chuckled menacing and, picking up Cagalli's disregarded gun, he pointed it at the stunned couple. The moonlight reflected off the barrel as it aligned itself level with Cagalli's chest. "Did you honestly think that you could escape from me, Athrun? If you had just died as a good prisoner should then we wouldn't have to involve your girlfriend. Such a pity…"

Athrun saw the gun was aimed at Cagalli, not himself. He tested his muscles and was relieved to find that, although still weak, they had not yet shut down from the strain of the past few weeks. His eyes locked on the barrel. He had to protect Cagalli. Every muscle in his body tensed as he evaluated the situation. Jibril was too far away for an attack and he couldn't leave Cagalli. He refused to take that chance.

"You are brave when the odds are so overwhelmingly in your favor." Athrun growled almost bitterly. He was both sick and weak. There was no way he could get both he and Cagalli out of this alive.

"And that's the way I like it," Jibril chortled, raising his gun to assure his aim would be true. "Say goodbye, Athrun Zala."

Athrun shoved Cagalli out of the way as a gunshot shattered the heavy silence and a startled cry escaped her throat. She fell, landing in the hallway, and looked back to see Athrun drop to the floor, half in and half out of the doorway. Gritting his teeth, the battered Coordinator tried to push himself upright but only got as far as his elbows. Blood stained the over-sized sweater and slowly spread over a spot between his ribs. Panting heavily, he hiccupped and choked.

He coughed weakly and Cagalli's eyes widened when she saw droplets of red dribble down from his mouth as he continued to hack, as if trying to clear his throat. Athrun managed to regain his composure and raised his head, pained eyes locking on her own.

"Cagalli find Kira and the others," He gritted out through clenched teeth. A trickle of blood rain ran down the corner of his mouth, only adding to his already disfigured features.

"What? Athrun, No!" Cagalli retorted, close to panic. She shook her head violently in the negative. She couldn't leave him. Not again. She couldn't let them take him away from her a second time.

"Go!" Athrun hissed desperately. His eyes found hers and held them for the briefest of moments. "Please, Cagalli," His voice softened as the sound of boots grew louder and Athrun knew that Jibril was directly behind him. "Please…go to Kira. He will keep you safe."

"I missed," Jibril pretended to sound disappointed as he approached. "Oh well. I get a second chance."

"Cagalli…"

_Grab him and run…_Cagalli's mind frantically sought out a plan of action. _No… it won't work – he's too weak. I can't leave him but if I stay then I will only be a distraction for Athrun and we will both be killed. If I find Kira then maybe… maybe… if Athrun can hang on then maybe…no! You can't leave him like this!_

From where she was, Cagalli could see Athrun was gathering what was left of his strength for one last, desperate gamble. She shook her head weakly. He had always been so reckless and so careless with his life. He took too many risks. Like a game, he would throw his life on the line and hope that the dice would roll in his favor. This time, she knew, that if she left him, she would never seen him again.

"Miss. Cagalli…"Jibril's voice was directly above the fallen, young man and Cagalli could clearly see the deranged man as he popped into view. "It's time for you to join your friend. You're choice in company is most appalling but hopefully a few years in purgatory will cleanse your soul of your poor judgment. Farewell…"

With every ounce of his remaining strength, Athrun surged up and tackled the Blue Cosmos leader, fueling his one, final attack with all the strength he could muster. Jibril howled in both surprise and anger as the mortally wounded boy forced him back into the room.

Jibril shouted out numerous obscenities at him. He cursed him and snarled at him and he tried to bring up his gun to shoot Athrun a second time but Athrun grappled with him for it as the two fought for control of the deadly weapon.

"Cagalli! Get out of here now! Don't look back! Please, run!" Athrun shouted as he clung to Jibril's weapon arm like a second skin. He couldn't hear her nor did he hear any sounds of footsteps distancing themselves from the room. What was she doing? His strength and life fluids were draining and he knew he was deteriorating fast. He had been ill to begin with but he held on, knowing that this would be his last confrontation with the enemy. There was no way he would survive this.

Jibril was eventually able to free a hand and dealt the youth a solid blow across the face but Athrun hung on. Another blow smashed into the side of his face followed by another in quick succession and Athrun could feel his grip around the man's arm loosening. He saw the man raise an angry fist to him yet again when something suddenly caught it midair, preventing it from descending upon him.

Athrun's eyes widened.

"Stop it!" Cagalli screamed, and latched onto Jibril's other arm. It took both of her arms to keep the powerful man from striking Athrun and she let out a pained grasp as Jibril furiously tried to yank his arm away. "Stop! I won't let you hurt him!"

She honestly didn't know what she planned to accomplish but right now she didn't care. All her mind registered was that this man was causing Athrun incredible pain and she had to stop him. Kicking out, she managed to jam her knee into the man's shin and was rewarded with a low grunt.

Her victory was short lived, however, as Jibril lashed out in retaliation. He wrenched his trapped arm forward, bringing Cagalli close. Raising his steel-toed boot, he kicked her away as hard as he could. The girl flew back with a startled cry of pain and crashed into the bed-side table.

"You little…" Jibril growled as he wrestled with Athrun to aim his gun at the downed Orb leader. "You're going to regret crossing me!"

Athrun's grip was still slippery and his heart caught in his throat as he saw that the barrel of the gun was pointing dangerously in Cagalli's direction. The terror the pulsed through him was staggering and something inside of him snapped. A surge of energy rushed through his system as he valiantly pulled the man's weapon arm away from Cagalli. The momentum of Athrun's swift motion sent the two of them crashing to the ground. He had to protect Cagalli. He had to protect Cagalli.

"Let go you little bastard!" Jibril roared at the boy, suddenly terrified. The intensity in the boy's eyes was foreign to him and the power behind them scared him. His eyes were glowing a bright green and his pupils had thinned.

Athrun had gone into seed mode.

From where she had fallen, Cagalli rose to her knees and gasped when she saw the two figures rolling on the floor. Scratching, kicking, thrashing and struggling, the Blue Cosmos leader and the injured youth continued the battle for control of the gun. Neither was prepared to give up.

"Damn your kind!" Jibril cried as he fought to free his weapon. "I am going to kill you, boy!"

Athrun said nothing – his eyes saying more than any words could have. He twisted and turned as they rolled around. Bumping into the dresser, the light sitting on top of it toppled over, shattering on the floor. They banged up against the wall with Jibril on top of Athrun. The man struck him again and again about the face before landing a hard blow in Athrun's already abused stomach. The boy gasped and slumped into a dazed heap.

"Athrun! No!"

Ripping his gun from Athrun's weakened grasp, Jibril scrambled to his feet and staggered back to distance himself from the beaten, young Coordinator in the corner. He stiffened as he turned around, flashing a menacing smirk at Cagalli before focusing his attention once again on Athrun. He had a promise to keep.

Athrun was lying on his back, panting hard while trying to twist himself around and get up to his hands and knees. Blood blossomed over his shirt and pooled beneath him but that didn't deter him. His arms shook as he strained to sit up. Sweat, both from exertion and fever seeped out from every pore of his body and he coughed, choking on blood that had accumulated in his mouth. He spat it out. Breathing was growing more and more difficult and he knew that he was dying. The world was starting to slip out of focus and Athrun bit his lip to deny the sob in his throat escape. Somehow Athrun's pain-filled eyes found Cagalli's and he held them. Silently, he apologized for not being able to say goodbye to her the way he might have liked to. He only hoped that she could forgive him for leaving her like this.

Cagalli was frozen, trapped as her eyes locked on his. Tears gathered in them as she realized that she wouldn't be able to reach Jibril before he pulled the trigger. And he was too close to Athrun to miss. After everything, she was going to loose him. "Jibril… no… please don't!" She hated herself for it but she had no other options but to beg. And beg she would if it meant saving Athrun's life. "Don't kill him!"

"But I made a promise," Jibril replied in glee, clearly enjoying the two lovers' anguish. He nodded towards Athrun. "Didn't I?"

Athrun gritted his teeth. It wasn't worth wasting the precious breath he had left to answer.

"Remember when we first met," Jibril asked coldly as he towered over the defeated Coordinator. "Do you remember when I said that I would kill you when the time was right? Well, that time is now."

"Then… shoot," Athrun wheezed and coughed, sending a tremor up and down his entire body. Lifting his upper body with his arms, he glared furiously into his opponent's eyes. "Because even if you kill me, you will never win. People like you are weak. Cagalli is strong…you will never win in a war with her."

Jibril shrugged. "I won't have to. Once you are dead, I will kill her too. I will have the satisfaction of knowing that I was the one who killed the great Athrun Zala and the powerful Cagalli Yula Ahtha of Orb. May your soul rest in peace with the Devil because that is where you're going, boy. Straight to hell. Say hello to your father for me while you're there."

"Athrun!" Cagalli cried, brokenly. "Athrun!"

_Cagalli, I'm sorry…_Athrun's mind whispered as he drank in the sight of her once last time. He could hear her calling out to him but he was too exhausted and too weak to respond. His strength had left him. He watched as Jibril pointed the gun at his heart and closed his eyes. He didn't want his last memories to be staring into the cold barrel of a gun. His arms wouldn't support his weight any longer and he sank back to the floor. _I love you and…I tried to protect you… I failed… I'm sorry…_

**TBC**

What would you call that? A cliffhanger right? Well, I had to end it somewhere. I hope you enjoyed it. Poor Athrun, poor Cagalli – poor everybody! Why did I do that to them? I really don't know but I guess I better work on the next part and get them out of this mess.

Please review and let me know what you think ok?

Thank you for all of you who reviewed the last chapter and I'm sorry if this one is being posted later than usual. I will try to post again as soon as I can. Find grammar errors? Let me know please!

Until next time,

Krilyn

**Slightly Sinister Sinestra** Well I put in a little bit of fluff but I think I took it away didn't I? I'm sorry. Yup Cagalli did have a panic attack but I think she was more concerned about Athrun and relieved.

**Kageharu Kaco** Ummm… yeah… he kinda ruined it didn't he? Sorry but well… yeah… I'm evil I guess. hehe

**daisukiasu'n'caga** I don't like the blue cosmos either. After the next chapter, I will give Athrun a break – I promise

"…**.": **Ok, I will try to punish the blue cosmos. I just have to think of a way to do it. This chapter was tough to write but I'm glad it's finished lol. My new story is AU but it is a nice break from this one. Not as dramatic and easier to read - thanks for reviewing!

**Cari-Akira** Sorry, I didn't mean for it to be confusing. The guy in the house was actually a member of the blue cosmos – I hope that clears it all up. Thanks for the review

**Nicole:** Um… it was emotional but… not exactly sweet was it? I couldn't help it. It reminded me of that show and I thought I should write the same event in this story. Yeah I'm slow at starting stories… but I'm glad u think they get better

**Genny-Chan:** Hurray! Another Athrun fan! I love the guy! Though you wouldn't know it hehehhe… glad you like the story

**Lamu:** Yeah I enjoy writing Yzak and Dearka – they lighten the mood. Personally I never really liked Kira much but he's sorta important so I'm glad that I'm doing ok writing him up to. I do try to keep the characters realistic – I'm glad you noticed-.


	17. Out of the Fire

Hi again!

It's been raining the last few days where I live – being trapped in the house is horrible…. But the good thing is I got a lot of writing done. I will be updating both my stories this weekend! Yay! Oh! The first "bang" is Athrun getting shot the first time – just so everyone can follow along…

I hope you enjoy it!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any references made to it.**

**Abhorrence**

**Chapter #17: Out of the Fire**

BANG!

Everybody froze as the sound of a bullet echoed through the street to the heavens. Lacus jumped, her bright eyes wide as her head shot up towards the third story of the hotel where she knew Cagalli's room was. Yzak, Dearka and Kira all jumped to attention, the hair at the back of each one's neck standing at end.

"What… what was that!" Yzak hollered. He pushed himself away from the vehicle and moved back.

"It came from inside!" Kira declared and grabbed Lacus' hand. Without really thinking, he dragged her back towards the front door. He raced up the steps, his heart pounding. He reached for the doorknob and just started opening it when the sound of bullets ricocheting off the brick of the building sent the two of them dropping back to the ground.

Lacus let out a surprised cry and ducked as another bullet whizzed past her head. Urging her legs to move faster, she slipped on a piece of ice at the same time as she and Kira dove for cover behind the car. She landed in a snowdrift by Yzak's feet as all four of them sought refuge behind the parked vehicle.

The bullets were coming from all directions and Kira instantly realized that they were caught in a crossfire. Pushing Lacus down so that she was out of harms way, he pressed her up against the car and silently ordered her not to move.

He winced when Yzak and Dearka whipped out their own weapons and returned fire.

"Who is firing at us!" Dearka demanded as he fired in the general direction of the incoming fire.

"The Blue Cosmos must have figured out we'd come back here!" Yzak called back over the noise as bullets sailed across the skies. "It must be them!"

"Kira!" Lacus grabbed his sleeve and pulled him down so that their faces were only inches apart. "Kira, Athrun and Cagalli are in danger! The gunshot…we have to get to them! Please!"

He didn't need any further convincing.

Kira nodded and sprang into action. Snatching Dearka's pistol from his hand, he scurried up the steps back towards the front door. He did his best to stay low but jerked when a bullet landed just inches from his heel. Without hesitation, he burst through the door and rolled into the main lounge. He whirled around just in time to see Lacus stumble in after him.

"Lacus!" He barked, his fear for Athrun and his sister making him sharp. "What do you think you are doing!"

"I'm going with you!" She snapped as she ran past him and up towards the stairs. She could hear his footsteps and knew that he was right on her heels as the two of them tore up the stairs. Never had she moved so fast in her life and never had she been so desperate. Afraid of what she might find when she reached the top of the flight of stairs, she grabbed the railing and hulled herself up the last few steps.

BANG!

A second gunshot.

Lacus stopped dead in her tracks and Kira literally had to throw himself to the left to avoid running right over her. She felt as if someone had just shot her through the heart. The color drained from her face as a million emotions, a million memories and a million moments that she had shared with her two friends flashed before her eyes. It couldn't be…

"Cagalli! Athrun!" She screamed and tore up the last couple steps and into the hall. Suddenly, she forgot that she was unarmed as she charged towards down the narrow aisle way.

Kira managed to catch up with her and caught her arm. "Lacus! No!" He shouted and almost violently pulled her back to prevent her from entering the room first. He flung her behind him and tightened the grip on his gun. His eyes darted from left to right as he approached Room 27. He kicked down the door, his pistol up and ready to kill.

Sweat poured down his forehead and into his eyes but he didn't dare make a move to wipe it away. His expression hardened as he searched the room for any signs of life. In the far corner, the light from the window illuminated the silhouettes of three figures – one curled on the floor and the second towering over him with a gun pointed directly at the downed individual. In the split seconds he had before the second spotted him, Kira realized that the one on the floor had rolled half-heartedly to the left in order to avoid the second shot that they had heard. The shot, that had been meant to be fatal, had caught his left shoulder instead of his heart. The third figure across the room was undoubtedly his sister.

The man looked up and Kira identified him instantly. Jibril also seemed to recognize Kira as he immediately made a move for the window.

"You!" Kira raised his gun and fired several shots at the fleeing man but only one seemed to hit its target. The stranger staggered forward before he made his escape through the window. His right leg seemed to buckle beneath his weight and Kira immediately realized where his bullet had found its mark. For a second, the adrenaline coursing through his veins urged Kira to pursue the man but he stopped himself. He was outraged. He wanted nothing more but to catch that man and he knew he could. He was faster, smarter and stronger and he would have loved to empty the round in his pistol on the Blue Cosmos leader.

He dashed towards the window and peered out cautiously. The wind and snow smacked his face, momentarily taking his breath away and Kira reared back into the shelter of the lone room. Panting, he looked over at Cagalli, who was just starting to rise, and in that moment, he felt the icy grip of death take hold of the dark room. There was a terrible chill in the heavy air and the shattered lamp gave testimony to the desperate struggle that had transpired.

"A…Athrun…" Cagalli felt her limbs go numb as she dropped down beside the crumpled figure in the corner. Suddenly, everything around her seemed non existent. All except Athrun and he was disappearing… leaving her in complete darkness. That was when she realized that without him, there was no light in her world. Without him, her world was dim and lonely, void of warmth and feeling. He had meant so much to her.

Reaching out with a trembling hand, she brushed away some loose strands of soft, blue hair from his sealed eyes. She felt frighteningly cold as if consumed by a sudden void. She felt nothing. She couldn't even cry. Pain, sorrow, grief, anger, sadness… all were nothing but meaningless words. A jumble of phonemes that couldn't begin to describe how she felt. She had done this to him. All of his pain had been her fault. She had been aware that the area had once been swarming with the Blue Cosmos and hostility for Coordinators. She had hoped things had somehow improved.

Her expression fell. People didn't change. Not really. They still hated Coordinators and the deep loathing they felt had destroyed the one she held most dear to her heart. No enemy was as fierce as abhorrence and no enemy was so difficult to fight. Once manifested in one's soul, it could never truly be dissolved.

"Athrun, I'm sorry," She whispered, her voice quivering with emotion. "I… I'm sorry…"

A lone tear leaked out from the corner of her right eye and slid down the side of her face. As she kneeled over his prone form, the droplet of water splashed onto his face. Her eyes wavered as she saw that beautiful pair of emerald eyes that she had loved so much crack open. They were blurry and unfocused as they fixed themselves on her. Athrun didn't move, nor did he try to. His breathing was husky and shallow and blood continued to soak the floor beneath him.

"Not your fault…" He muttered almost inaudibly. He attempted to cough, leaving a trail of blood on his lips. "Don't… hate seeing you… cry…"

His eyes rolled back into his head and she saw his body stiffen slightly before going completely slack. His body had finally succumbed to the insurmountable abuse that he had endured and he lost himself in the darkness that oblivion offered him.

"Athrun!" Cagalli gasped and made a motion to shake him but Lacus stopped her. She hadn't even heard her friend come up beside her but she grabbed her arms and gently pulled her back. Kira hurried over from the window and, bending forward, he placed two fingers on Athrun's throat just below the chin. There was a pulse – thready and uneven but it was there nonetheless.

"We're not safe here," Kira told the two girls firmly. His swallowed in an attempt to clear his dry throat and to appear strong even though inside he was breaking. To see his friend like this, in pieces at his feet, made him want to break down and cry in earnest but he couldn't. He had to be strong for Cagalli. The Blue Cosmos were not going to let them go and now, as much as he hated himself for admitting it, was not the time to morn.

He scooped up Athrun's body in his arms and shuddered when he felt his friend's blood seeping into his coat. Ensuring that Athrun's neck was firmly supported and careful not to jar his more severe injuries, Kira motioned towards the door and followed Lacus, as she guided Cagalli back through the hallway and down the stairs to the main lobby.

He heard the soft hiss of Athrun's breathing against his neck as he pushed through the main doors and quickly took shelter behind the car parked in front of them. Dearka and Yzak were still exchanging gunfire with their attackers and as Lacus ducked, she did her best to make sure she was out of the way. She backed herself up against the passenger side, front tire of the car and Kira could see Lacus visibly cringe each time a bullet was fired.

Cagalli wasn't far behind as she dropped down beside Kira into the snow, her eyes wide in fear and internal anguish. She did her best to ignore the horrified stares of her friends as they took in Athrun's haggard appearance, but failed miserably. "We… we have to get Athrun to a hospital!"

"I think we need to get _ourselves_ out of here!" Yzak shot back and just barely managed to dodge a bullet as it whizzed past his head, singeing his hair. He fired his pistol in the general direction of the opposing fire and swung open the door to the back seat of the car. "It's about time you guys got back! Get in!"

Lacus was the first to react and crawled through the foot-well to the far side of the back seat. Her pink hair was soaked from the snow and matted to her thin frame as she turned back and extended her arms.

Kira nodded and as much care as haste would allow, he slid Athrun into the back seat to Lacus. Lacus wrapped and arm around Athrun's waist as he leaned into her, pushing her up against the opposing door to the back seat. He was unconscious and the blood that caked his left shoulder and chest paralyzed her. Although she knew he was oblivious to the world around him, she gently stroked his damp and greasy, blue hair.

Bang!

A bullet ricocheted off the door Yzak was holding open and redirected itself towards the silver-haired pilot. Yzak yelped and stumbled back, slipped, and fell back into the snow. The bullet had just barely grazed his arm, leaving a thin trail of blood in its wake. It stung but he didn't give it a second thought as he shot Kira and Cagalli a fierce glare and motioned towards the car. "GET IN!"

Kira snatched Cagalli's arm and pulled her into the back seat with him. The four of them squeezed together in the small space as Kira reached across Cagalli and slammed the door shut. He watched through the broken window on his side of the car as Dearka scrambled across the passenger seat and into the driver's seat. His fingers fumbled over the controls as he frantically tried to get the key into the ignition.

Yzak leapt into the passenger seat just as the Dearka started the engine. Yzak was barely seated as Dearka slammed down on the accelerator, not waiting for Yzak to even close his door. Yzak squawked as the sudden motion almost tossed him out the door. Gripping the headrest of his chair, he lunged forward, grabbed the door and slammed it shut.

"Which… which way!" Dearka shouted as he tore down the street. Bullets continued to assault the car as it made its escape. As they distanced themselves from the hotel the bullets eventually ceased – replaced by the howling of the wind through the broken windows that had taken several bullets during the exchange of gunfire.

"Straight down this road…" Cagalli whispered hoarsely. She and Lacus both supported Athrun's limp form and Cagalli felt her insides twist. When she withdrew her hand from around Athrun, it came back soaked with red. She had blood on her hands and if he died she would never be able to wash it away.

Dearka nodded, content on following the road out of town and hopefully into Orb territory. If only it was that easy.

Something violently slammed into the driver's side of the car, causing it to swerve violently. Lacus and Cagalli both screamed as they were flung over on top of Kira, crushing Athrun in the process.

"What the hell!" Yzak grabbed at the dashboard, his eyes wide as he saw a speeding car come up along side of them. His heart skipped a beat as he recognized the man in the passenger seat of the opposing car… it was the same man that had caught them trying to free Athrun… the same one that had most likely tortured him. The man with the purple lipstick. "Dearka! Speed up!"

Dearka yanked the car around a corner and Jibril did the same – both vehicles roaring down the lonely street and further and further out of town. The two men traveling with Jibril stuck their bodies out of the open windows of either side of their car and begun spraying their escapees with bullets. Dearka forced the car to swerve from side to side and Lacus had to bite her lip, feeling suddenly very nauseous.

Struggling to maintain control of the speeding vehicle that wasn't meant to be driven so hard, Dearka desperately struggled to maintain control of the wheel as they raced down the road.

"AH!" Cagalli screamed as the car beside them crashed into them a second time. Like a rag-doll, Athrun flopped lifelessly against her, the trickle of blood flowing from his lips rolling down the side of his face as his heart continued to pump the life out of him. She hugged him close as she was violently thrown into Kira on impact. She winced, the screeching of the tires as they gripped at the road, piercing her eardrums. She didn't want to die. She didn't want to die. Not like this…

"Get down!" Kira screamed and lunged over the girls, pushing them into the foot-well as a stream of bullets shattered the remnants of the windows above them. He winced as he felt shards of glass rain down on him like sharp little daggers that bit into his back. He heard Lacus cry out and his heart skipped painfully as he realized there was nothing he could do.

"Dearka!" Yzak gasped as the enemy continued to push them closer and closer to the edge of the road. He quickly fastened his seatbelt before smiling cynically. - as if it would do any good. Jibril was trying to muscle them off of the road or cause them to spin out. Whatever happened first – to Jibril, it mattered not.

It was dark. As the two cars screamed down the country road, darkness seemed to envelop them. Dearka gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles going white as sweat poured down his face. This car wasn't designed for such stress… nor was it designed to carry 6 passengers. Suddenly, he spotted in the far distance a bright light in the corner of his eye. He frowned, squinting as he tried to see. There was a car coming towards him but there was nothing out of the ordinary about it. Or so it seemed.

His instincts, however, were screaming warnings at him. Warnings which he didn't understand. Didn't he have enough to worry about already? The lights from the car in front of him were blinding – he couldn't see. His heart rate sped up when he light dimmed for a minute and he got a clear view of what was happening in front of him.

He gasped and for almost half a second, Dearka felt as though time had suddenly frozen. The car in front of him… it wasn't on the right side of the road… it was coming straight towards them! Vaguely, he could make out the driver – he was dressed in a blue uniform, similar to that in which a member of the Blue Cosmos would wear.

Dearka panicked. His mind seemed paralyzed. It was a trap. Somehow, the Blue Cosmos had anticipated an escape attempt and had staked out men throughout the town! They were going to hit it head on!

"Dearka!" Kira frantically reached over and grabbed the steering wheel. Desperately, he veered off the road, forgetting the ditch that lay hidden at the side of the road. Tires squealed as Kira was roughly thrown to the right, loosing his grip on the wheel. The momentum sent Yzak wrenching forward but his seatbelt caught him and pulled him back into his seat. A pained cry escaped his throat and he snapped his eyes shut as his body was violently jerked and wrenched in his seat.

Kira raised his head and his eyes widened – he didn't realize his mistake until it was too late…

Desperately Dearka hit the breaks, realizing what lied beyond the side of the road and tensed as the car spun roughly off the road and into the ditch. He cringed when he heard the sound of metal against metal and his stomach felt like it was going to burst as he tensed, helplessly. Something happened behind him, he could hear it as the car behind him rammed into the car that had driven them off the road. However, he had little time to think about it – too caught up was he in his own treachery. With a loud thump, the car flew off the road and roughly tumbled over into the trench.

It happened so fast that his mind couldn't even perceive what was going on and when the car made contact with something solid, the momentum brutally drove him forward, forcing him to smash his head against the steering wheel – hard. Flung backwards again, Dearka didn't even register pain as the world instantly went black. Vaguely, he felt his body being forced to the right by another rough movement but couldn't record anything more before consciousness was forced out of him when his head struck the drivers' window.

Engulfed by darkness, he welcomed it graciously.

Lacus and Cagalli both collided with one another as they were thrown to the side with Athrun sandwiched between them. Cagalli stole a quick look at her dying friend. In a strange treachery they now found themselves in. Yzak shouted out to Dearka and grabbed him while Kira just struggled to keep himself from flying out the front window.

Kira snapped his eyes shut, as the car came to a screeching halt, their wild chase ending with them in the ditch. After a few seconds that seemed like hours, Kira opened one eye. Lights were flashing but a deadly silence had encompassed the surroundings. Vaguely, he was aware that he was lying on his side against the window that had been smashed when they had veered off of the road.

The lights continued to flash, blinding him and he bit back a pained moan as he dragged himself upright. His arm was screaming in pain and he could only guess he had jarred it somehow during the crash. He glanced down at Cagalli and quickly crawled backward to allow her to also rise.

It took three attempts, before he managed to pull himself up and slide out of his sister's way. Each time his body succumbed to the pain that was wrenching violently at his arm. Cagalli, still clinging to Athrun like a second skin, looked up at him. The look in her eyes reminded him of a lost puppy. She looked like a little girl, afraid to let go as everything was gradually slipping away from her.

"K… Kira?" Lacus asked weakly as she too slowly sat up. During the collision, she had been forced up against the door. Her hair was frayed and frazzled as she strained to pull herself into a sitting position. "What happened?"

Kira opened his mouth but before he could answer, a cry from the front seat stopped him.

"Dearka!"

Kira looked up in sympathy as Yzak removed Dearka from around the steering wheel and leaned him back to inspect his injuries. The blond pilot was out cold and blood was dripping from a large cut over his right eye. Kira and Yzak exchanged nervous glances as Yzak pulled Dearka over into the passenger's seat and gently shook him. "Come on damn it! Wake up!"

Cagalli bit back a sob as her attention returned to Athrun. He was white, unresponsive and lifeless in her arms. He had always been so strong yet here he was in her arms… completely broken. It was then that she remembered Jibril and the car that had been driving on the wrong side of the road. The one that had tried to hit them head on. Slowly, she raised her head and peered out of the rear window, feeling the icy winds run its fingers through her tangled hair.

There were two cars on the road, both intertwined with one another. It had been a head on collision. Sparks flew up, as the emergency lights on both vehicles flashed brightly. The horrible smell of burning metal and gasoline was almost suffocating and smoke was gradually rising up to the heavens.

Cagalli inwardly grimaced when he caught sight of the driver that had nearly run into them. The man had gone right through the windshield of his car, his body now nothing more than a mass of entangled ligaments. His eyes were glazed over and empty while blood gradually oozed out from a gash across his forehead. Cagalli tensed and quickly averted her eyes, almost fearing what might happen should she look the dead man in the eye. That could have been them. That very thought made the hair on the back of her neck stand at end.

Her gaze gradually drifted to the second car, the one that had been bent on making them spin off of the road. It was hard to see the passengers due to the blood that had splattered across the cracked windshield but she was certain she could make out three distinct figures. Her heart turned to ice as she recognized the driver as Jibril. Unconscious in the driver's seat, his face was smeared with blood. She wasn't sure whether or not he was dead but deep down, she hoped he wasn't. He didn't deserve such a swift and painless death. Not after everything he had done. Instinctively, she pulled Athrun close.

"Is everyone alright?" Kira asked, his eyes still glued on Dearka as Yzak continued to attempt to make him come to. He had no luck. "Is he…"

"Just a bump on the head," Yzak grumbled, though his voice was tight with worry. He then turned his head towards Cagalli. The Orb princess was now sitting upright, supporting Athrun in her arms while letting his head loll onto her shoulder. "Is he still alive?"

Cagalli said nothing. Glancing about, she struggled to find her bearings. They couldn't be far from Orb. It was dark and there were no street lights, making it impossible for her to really see but she did recognize the road.

"We need to get Athrun to the hospital." Lacus whispered quietly and shifted, carefully not to sit or put a hand on the shards of glass that now littered the back seat.

"It's not far," Cagalli mumbled softly. She felt exhausted. The emotional and physical strain had finally caught up with her and, upon seeing Jibril's unmoving form entangled in the wreckage, she felt an immense relief flood her senses. At last, it was finally over. "Just follow this road."

Kira made a move for the driver's seat but stopped when Yzak's intense eyes fell upon him. He hesitated for a second, unsure what the ZAFT pilot was thinking before Yzak's expression softened somewhat.

"You can drive, Kira," He told him gruffly. "I'll hang onto Dearka until we get to this so-called hospital."

Kira nodded and carefully slipped into the driver's seat. He was somewhat relieved when the car miraculously started up again. The engine huffed and the tires squealed in protest but eventually it started up and very slowly, he maneuvered them out of the ditch. The damage to the vehicle was substantial but all he needed was for it to get them to the hospital and Cagalli had said that it wasn't far.

The breeze picked up as the car increased speed. Kira guided it back onto the road, leaving the scene of the accident. As far as the police would be concerned, the two cars hit one another. Nobody spoke as they made their way into Orb territory. They had been successful, maybe even victorious. Yet, was this victory? Athrun was almost beyond saving and Dearka had been gravely hurt. Perhaps he had even suffered a concussion. There was a heavy sadness in each of their hearts as they bounced along the road.

Nobody spoke for nobody knew the words to say. How could one begin to describe the sorrows of that day? Somehow, no words could express the feelings of that moment as they drove towards Orb. They were out of the fire but the fight for Athrun's life was not yet over.

**TBC**

sighs. I know that chapter wasn't as good as the last one. I'm sorry – I did my best. Three more chapters to go and then… it's over. My first story will be finished! I'm sad and excited at the same time. Find grammar or spelling errors? Let me know ok? I updated both my stories tonight so I'm mentally fried lol

Anyway, please review and let me know what you think ok?

Until next time,

Krilyn

**Kageharu Kaco** There you go! Fast update! I hope you liked it! Last chapter was my favorite hehehe. I hope you're not too disappointed with this one. Cliff hangers are nasty things.

**daisukiasu'n'caga** Well, Athrun kinda got a break right? He's not any worse off at least…. runs and hides

**Slightly Sinister Sinestra** Jibril is a wimp. That's why I figured he'd bolt when Kira came… with a gun hehehhee. Glad you liked the chapter and I'm really glad you thought Athrun was in character! That's what I was shooting for ! YAY!

**Cari-Akira** Wow! You wrote me a mini essay! Thank you! Yes it was a happy-sad chapter and yes, Athrun is in pretty bad shape. It wouldn't have made much sense for him to be able to beat Jibril senseless right? So glad you liked it… I thought about Cagalli kicking Jibril where the sun don't shine too… hehee, we think very much alike! Thanks for the review!

**Genny-chan** Glad you liked the chapter! Yup, Athrun always ready to protect!


	18. Aftermath

Hi again!

I am soo sad! I have had so much fun writing this story it has almost become an obsession. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter

Thank you to all who reviewed! I really appreciate it! It makes me want to post that much faster!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any other references made to it. The doctor is mine though hehe.**

**Abhorrence**

**Chapter #18: Aftermath**

The trip to the hospital was a blur for Cagalli. When Kira finally got there, he drove the car immediately to the emergency parking lot. One look at the mangled vehicle instantly caught the attention of the parking attendants and it had not taken long for the paramedics to come and whisk Athrun away from her. Still in a state of shock, Cagalli had at first refused to let go of him. She didn't want anyone to hurt him anymore! She wouldn't_ let_ anyone hurt him anymore!

The paramedics had to pry him out of her grasp and left her standing out in the cold as they rushed Athrun into the emergency room. Dearka had also been taken away but his injuries had not caused nearly as much commotion Athrun's. Lacus, Yzak and Kira were also left standing outside as their friends vanished behind the doors of the ER. Athrun had been unconscious when he had been taken away and in a very bad way. Like a shell of the person he had been almost one month ago, there was very little that was recognizable about the young Coordinator. So much blood, so much pain… even unconscious, his face was contorted in a look of extreme anguish.

The doctors had urged them to get some rest but all three of them had stubbornly refused to leave the hospital. Not until they got word about Athrun and Dearka. After much persistence, the doctors had finally given up and let them remain in the waiting room. That was where they found themselves now, several hours later.

Kira and Lacus sat together on a bench against the wall across from the secretaries' desk while Yzak stood leaned against the wall beside them. His arms were crossed and his face was creased with discontent and unease. Cagalli sat beside Kira, watching as her brother wrapped an arm around Lacus' shoulder and pulled her close. She continued to stare through puffy eyes as Lacus relaxed against Kira and returned his embrace. Suddenly, she felt very, very alone. She wanted someone to hold her, someone to hold her up when she felt like the ground was falling out from beneath her. She wanted Athrun.

And he was going to die.

"Cagalli!"

Upon hearing that horrid voice, she couldn't help but wonder whether or not some greater being was doing this to punish her. Or using her as a pawn for their own twisted pleasure. Regardless, she stiffened when she heard more than saw Yuna and Unato Saran come bursting through the door.

"Oh Cagalli!" Yuna threw his arms around her and like snakes, they coiled around her waist and squeezed. "I was so worried that something had happened to you! You're safe! Thank god everything is going to be alright!"

"Alright?" She asked, her voice chilled and rapidly rising. "Alright! How the hell can you say that everything is alright? Athrun is _dying_ and you say that everything is alright! Are you that stupid?"

Yuna shook his head though nobody could tell rather or not he was answering her question in the positive or the negative. He stubbornly refused to release her even though he could feel her struggling to pull away from him. "But Cagalli… I love _you_ not Athrun…"

"But _I_ love him!" Cagalli cried and with one harsh and final tug, she freed herself and stormed over to take a seat beside Kira. "Don't you understand that?"

Sensing his sister's discomfort, Kira straightened. He puffed out his chest and fired Yuna an imposing glare, silently warning him to back off.

"But you can't love _him_," Yuna wrinkled up his nose in disgust. "I love you."

"I think you should leave."

"Nobody asked you, Yamato."

"Nobody had to," Kira retorted and threw his head towards the door. "Cagalli doesn't need this right now."

Yuna seemed to be considering his options when Yzak suddenly turned towards him and fired him a deadly glare. "You know," The ZAFT pilot growled darkly. "If there is one thing I can't stand, it is people who just don't know when to shut up."

The anger barely being contained behind Yzak's wild eyes was enough to humble anyone. Kira had never had an overly intimidating glare but when Yzak's eyes fell upon the purple-haired boy, he was subdued instantly.

Without another word, Yuna scurried off just as quickly as he had come. He and his father exchanged quick glances before Yuna left the waiting room. Unato didn't seem at all impressed as his brow furrowed in something that resembled frustration and disappointment.

After a moment, Cagalli sighed and slumped further into her seat. What was taking so long? Why couldn't she go see Athrun? When would they update her on his condition?

"Why does this keep happening to me?" Cagalli asked to no one in particular. Her stomach did a flip as the horrid smell of disinfectant filled her nostrils – it smelt like death. "It's my fault that Athrun is going to die…. Just like it was my fault that he got captured and… and tortured and shot! He was shot trying to protect me…"

"Cagalli, stop it," Kira cut her off. "This wasn't your fault. Just like it wasn't Athrun's fault or anyone else's. You had no control over what happened so you have to stop blaming yourself for this."

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to accept that the most important person in my life is going to die because of me?" Cagalli shot back, and shook her head. "He has nobody… no family… nothing…oh god, what if he doesn't make it!"

"Cagalli, you can't think like that," Kira bit his lip, lowering his eyes and tightening his grip around Lacus. It was hard to give her encouragement when he didn't even know just how serious Athrun had been hurt.

"It's isn't your fault." Kira repeated sternly and as he raised his head from the tile floor, he gave her a hard look before placing both his hand on her shoulders and forcing her to look at him. "You must promise me that whatever we see, or whatever the outcome may be you will not blame yourself for this."

"I… I promise." Cagalli nodded weakly though she really didn't know if she could honor such a bold promise.

"You need to stop being so selfish."

Everyone turned and stared at Yzak. Bewilderment was sketched across each of their faces as the silver-haired youth shook his head angrily. Straightening and moving away from the wall, he uncrossed his arms and let them fall to his sides. Pacing irately in front of them, his lip curled in disgust. "In case you all have forgotten, it is Athrun and Dearka who are hurting. Athrun is the one who may very well be dead in the next few minutes and all you can think about is who's fault it is!"

"Wha…" Cagalli's mouth dropped but she never had a chance to finish or even start to protest.

"I'm sick of hearing about how much you care about him," Yzak continued. "And just how terrible you feel and how much guilt you are wrestling with. If you really cared about him, you would be asking to see him instead of waiting out here feeling sorry for yourself!"

"Yzak…" Kira warned but the pilot would not be calmed. He was angry. Angry and upset.

"What?" He demanded hotly, spinning on his heels. "Are you going to say I'm being cold-hearted? An unfeeling jerk? Well save your breath. I'm tired of waiting – I'm going to see how Dearka is. If it hadn't been for him, Athrun wouldn't have made it even this far. Or maybe you have forgotten that minor detail?"

As Yzak stormed off down the hall, Kira watched in awe as he completely disregarded the receptionists. One of them leapt up, calling out to him but Yzak paid her little mind. Instead, he just kept right on going down the hall in search of Dearka.

"Sir! Sir! You can't go down that hall! You need to register! Sir? Come back!"

The receptionist's voice faded as she chased Yzak down the hall. Eventually she gave up as the stubborn boy plowed right through a couple doctors and threw open the door to Dearka's room. It was quiet and, much to Yzak's surprise, Dearka was sharing his room with two other patients. Both were elderly and asleep and when Yzak slowly approached his friend's bed, he realized that Dearka was also snoozing softly.

"Hey Dearka," Yzak muttered as he sat down in the chair beside his bed and gave his arm a firm nudge to arouse him. The blond boy had a bandage wrapped securely around his head and combined with the stark white hospital robe, he almost looked like a ghost. "It looks like they're treating you alright here. You'll be back at it in no time."

He didn't receive a response but Yzak never expected one. He found the entire situation extremely awkward. He had never had to consider the strong friendships he had developed over the years with Dearka and Athrun and suddenly, he found himself mourning their potential loss. He needed these people in his life even if he hated to admit it openly. That made it all the more difficult. To pretend that he didn't care even though seeing his friends in pain terrified him.

"The food here stinks."

Yzak glanced down in shock when he saw Dearka slowly open his eyes and look up at him. Smiling weakly, he winced before he spoke a second time. "I woke up maybe two hours ago and someone offered me this mushy brown crap."

Yzak rolled his eyes. "Well, mashed potatoes are usually served at hospital."

"I thought so too," Dearka muttered. "The nurse told me it was a steak."

Yzak snorted, almost laughing through his nose. The blow to the head certainly hadn't affected Dearka's sense of humor. Dearka also chuckled lightly and twisted around to better see his friend. Once the two of them had finished laughing, Dearka's expression stiffened. "Any word on Athrun?"

"Nothing," Yzak replied grimly. "Stupid medical staff won't tell us anything. It's as if it is some big secret or something."

Dearka acknowledged him with a small grin before his gaze shifted towards the ceiling. Sitting up so his head rested against his pillow, he sighed sadly. "Where does the time go eh?" He asked, not really talking to his friend. Smiling despondently, he looked over at the shorter youth and shook his head. "Do you remember the first day Athrun arrived at the ZAFT academy? It was the biggest surprise the colonel had ever experienced."

"It was a surprise," Yzak agreed and shook his head. "For more than just the Colonel."

Dearka chortled as he recalled the first day Athrun Zala had stepped foot in the training academy. "I still remember the look on his face when he got held up by security because he had lost his entry pass. It was priceless when they threatened to drag him away."

"And then the uniform charade?" Yzak snickered. "Supply and order gave him an extra large pair of pants and socks – how he managed to keep those up for the two weeks it took to order the right size, I will never know."

"He was quit the character" Dearka sighed, shaking his head. "Gullible. He was always very gullible and we took advantage of it. I recall an event involving his uniform and a recommended cleaning detergent?"

Yzak had to suck in a deep breath to prevent himself from exploding. "I remember that. We told him it was supposed to remove the stains from his jacket… it took Athrun months to get the blue dye out of clothes."

"And the jello in the showerhead?"

"He looked good with green hair."

"Good times," Dearka beamed before his expression softened. Twisting on the mattress, he faced his friend, forcing him to look at him. "Those were good times. I hope we have the opportunity to have more of them."

There was an uneasy pause before Yzak inhaled deeply and broke the wall of tension that had suddenly formed between them. "Dearka?"

"Yes?"

"Are you scared?"

"I'd be lying if I said no," Dearka admitted and eyed Yzak carefully. "You?"

Yzak only nodded.

Meanwhile, back in the waiting room, Lacus' straightened and stood up. Thinking about what the silver-haired boy had said, she realized that he was right. They were entitled to know how Athrun was fairing. He was their friend.

Kira and Cagalli exchanged confused looks before turning to Lacus. The pink-haired girl had just risen to her feet and had begun moving towards the receptionist desk. Her torn dress and uncombed hair did little for her appearance but she didn't seem to care as she strutted up to the second receptionist and cleared her throat.

"Excuse me," Lacus smiled politely, though it was clear that she was anxious. "My name is Lacus Clyne and these are my friends Kira Yamato and Cagalli Yula Athha.. Our friend Athrun Zala was brought in about 9 hours ago. We were wondering whether or not there was any chance in getting an update on his condition. Please, he's very important to us."

"Zala?" The receptionist frowned as she quickly ran her fingers across the keyboard. "Oh yes, I see." Suddenly, her expression softened as she leaned forward, reading her computer screen carefully. "Ohhh… yes… I see…Dr. Forestin's patient."

"See?" Cagalli gasped. Jumping up, she raced over to the desk and leaned forward, trying to read whatever was on the computer. "See what? What's wrong with him? Why are you talking like that?"

"Room 267." Was all that the receptionist said – suddenly very, very subdued.

"Cagalli, calm down," Kira hissed as he forced her along the narrow aisle way. Lacus followed quickly behind them. "There is no point in getting all riled up."

"Not yet anyway," Lacus sighed sadly but was silenced by a warning look from Kira.

Picking up the pace, they were stopped by a man in a white lab coat who was sitting on a seat just outside of room 267. He seemed to be in deep thought as he read and re-read whatever was in his folder before he looked up at them curiously. "Can I help you?"

"We are here to see Athrun," Lacus explained though she was getting a little tired of saying it. "The receptionist said that we could find him here."

"Are you Dr. Forenstin?" Cagalli asked.

The older man looked up at her through his glasses and closed his folder. "Are you Cagalli?"

Cagalli nodded and watched as the older man stood up. Beads of sweat rolled down her face as the man readjusted his glasses and looked each of them over.

"I was expecting you." He announced before lowering his voice. "I didn't think you would leave until you had an update on your friend."

"Can we see him now?" Kira asked but immediately regretted it when he saw the look in the doctor's eyes.

"I think you should hear what I have to say first."

Cagalli paled. She knew it. Athrun Zala was dead… or dying and it was because of her. Shaking her head, she clutched Kira's coat tightly until her wrists were white. His innocent grin, his soft, alto-pitched voice…. She would never hear it again! Ever!

"He has lost a lot of blood." Dr. Forenstin explained carefully. "I've never seen anyone is such a state. He's extremely weak and his body has undergone a great deal of strain. As you know, he took a shot to the chest. The bullet is lodged against his right lung, making it very difficult to remove. That, however, isn't the problem."

"Then what is it?" Cagalli's voice trembled.

"We did some blood tests – standard procedure as you are probably well aware. There is a dangerously high amount of Secobarbital in his blood. It's a drug used to put down suffering animals… a sedative, in other words. I don't know how, but Athrun has been given several doses of the drug and if we were to put him under for any sort of operation, it would kill him."

"What… what do you mean?" Kira demanded, his concern making him harsh. "Are you telling me you can't help him?"

"I'm telling you that he has suffered a great deal of trauma." The doctor shot back with equal intensity. "The drug slows down almost all body functions… including the heart. If we gave him anything more, like we need to in order to remove the bullet, it would most likely stop his heart. He's hasn't awoken since he arrived… I'm afraid he wouldn't survive the surgery."

"But does he need surgery?" Kira asked, feeling Cagalli tense up against him.

The doctor simply nodded. "The bullet needs to be removed otherwise the lung will collapse." His voice softened as did his eyes. "It's a pretty tough operation and puts a lot of stress on the patient. Your friend is too weak at the moment and that, combined with the high traces of Secobarbital in his blood, would surely kill him."

"But he'll die anyway!" Kira cried in disbelief. Then he noticed something in the doctor's eyes and his own expression hardened. "You've already given up on him haven't you?"

"I'm sorry young man," The doctor whispered. "I don't know much about Coordinators but he's not going to make it."

"No!" Cagalli shook her head in denial. She wasn't hearing this… she was NOT hearing this. "You have got to try to save him! Please! He doesn't deserve this!"

"We've hooked him up to an IV and given him two units of blood." Dr. Forenstin told them. "We've also attached to him to a respirator to keep him breathing but unless we can operate, we are simply prolonging the inevitable. He's even suffered severe ligament damage to his left shoulder so even if we were to operate it is likely he may never regain full use of that arm."

"You are a doctor!" Lacus exploded, emotions coursing through her. No longer could she remain silent. "You must be able to do something!"

"Don't you think I WANT to!" Dr. Forenstin snapped, waving an angry finger in Lacus' face. Stunned, Lacus ducked behind Kira as the doctor lost all composure he may have had. "Don't you think I want to save that boy's life? Do you think it is easy for me to stand aside and watch my patient slowly slip away! His blood pressure is dangerously low, his breathing is erratic and his heart beat is inconsistent. Anything more would kill him instantly!"

Everyone was silent as the doctor sighed and shook his head in frustration. It was clear he cared… it was clear that he didn't want to see his patient die. Especially one so young. Athrun was only 17 years old.

"Well…" Lacus stepped forward cautiously and shifted uncomfortably. "When _could_ he possibly undergo this operation? What needs to change? Will just leaving him improve his condition at all?"

"At this point I do not know." The doctor admitted. "He hasn't improved since he arrived but he hasn't gotten any worse either."

Cagalli listened, absorbing each word slowly. Suddenly she felt disassociated with the world around her. It was as if she was no longer in her body, she felt numb. There was no pain, no happiness… nothing. It was as if she had become detached to the world around her. Nothing mattered anymore.

"You may see him if you want," Dr. Forenstin told them as he stepped to the side and allowed the group to enter the room. "Just don't expect him to respond to you… I'm afraid he won't. That boy is very, very ill."

Cagalli nodded; her hands trembling as she nervously gripped the door handle to the room. Gently pushing it open, she entered and gazed in. Goose bumps formed on her arms as she was welcomed by darkness. It was only dimly lit by a light above, making it difficult to see yet she could still make out a lithe figure lying limp on the soft bed in the center of the room.

Approaching slowly, she held Kira tightly as he guided her towards the bed. Her eyes were wide with dread as she focused on putting one foot in front of the other. Moving closer, she grimaced when she caught sight off all the tubes the covered his body and the machinery surrounding his bed… she could only assume it was keeping him alive… and barely at that.

He was lying on his back, his eyes sealed firmly shut, an expression of pain clearly pasted across his pasty white features. His messy blue hair was greasy, damp from perspiration, and several lank strands fell over his pale face. Athrun had one arm resting over his bare chest while his left lay bandaged and limp at his side. Cagalli couldn't help but notice the large scabs and bruises across his chest and face… she figured there had been more damage done than the doctor had let on. He seemed so frail… like glass.

Slowly, she reached down and placed a gentle hand on his right shoulder.

No response. He didn't even know she was there.

Lacus and Kira remained quiet as they each listened to the heart monitor while it beeped loudly. They could hear the shallow breathes that the young man took with the help of the mask over his mouth. Air was pumping out from the respirator at his side, making it easier for him to draw oxygen into his battered body.

"Oh Athrun," She whispered softly as she delicately brushed the lank strands of hair from his sealed eyes. "Stay with us… you can't leave… not yet."

Kira sensed that Cagalli was going to break down and motioned to Lacus that it was time to leave. As everyone left, the doctor pulled Cagalli aside and whispered quietly so only she could hear.

"Tonight," He told her carefully yet firmly. "Tonight, I'll try the operation. That bullet has to be removed… I'll try."

"Thank you." Cagalli mouthed to him as she gave him a saddened smile before following Kira out of the room. The three of them made their way back to the waiting room in silence. Nobody knew what to say. It was late, everyone was tired and deeply concerned about Athrun – his days seemed to be numbered.

Once they were back in reception, Kira yawned wearily. "Lacus and I are renting a room at the hotel across the way. Cagalli, you should probably also get some rest. There isn't anything else we can do for Athrun."

Cagalli flopped back down in a chair and shook her head. "If it's any consolation, Kira, I think I would like to stay here the night. Just in case there are any changes in his condition. I … should be here." She deliberately kept the doctor's intentions to operate that evening a secret. Knowing her friends, they would also insist on staying and she knew that they desperately needed some sleep.

"Are you sure?" Lacus asked and glanced up at Kira. "We can stay with you…"

"No," Cagalli forced a smile although she knew her eyes were tearing up again. "I just want to sit with him for a while."

Lacus was about to insist that she and Kira stay when Kira took her hand and carefully guided her out of the room. He understood what his sister was trying to tell them. She needed some time with Athrun. "Alright, we'll be back to see you tomorrow morning."

Cagalli waved goodbye to her friends as they made their exit, passing by Unato Saran who was on the only pay phone in the waiting room. Judging by his flushed cheeks and over-exaggerated hand motions, it was pretty clear that he was angry.

"Well it's pretty clear that you botched up your part of the bargain!" The large man barked into the phone, causing Cagalli to stare at him strangely before making her way back to Athrun's hospital room. "I don't care how it happened! What's that? No! I don't care about that either! Forget it. The deal is off – I'll handle this in my own way!"

As Cagalli slowly trudged along back towards Athrun's room, she cringed when she heard Unato slam down the phone angrily. The phone call was obviously over. For a second, she wondered what had gotten the Orb representative so flustered but quickly dismissed the prospect of inquiring further. All she cared about now was Athrun.

Many of the medical staff paused as she walked by but nobody bothered to stop her. One look at her and they knew it was best to leave her alone.

She re-entered the room and pulled up a chair alongside Athrun's bed and brushed his lank, strands of hair from his eyes yet again, careful not to touch the bruises that marred his normally smooth and soft skin. The white hospital gown he wore contrasted sharply with his dark hair, making him seem even paler. She watched the slight rise and fall of his chest as it fell into rhythm with the heart monitor to her right. He was so still, so deathly still. It was as if she was staring into phantom. Already he had been given two quarts of blood and was working on the third through the IV.

The air was thick with the odor of disinfectant. It smelled like death. Athrun was connected to so many different machines that she had lost track of what was what. Almost mechanically now, she stroked his cheek which seemed to be the only untouched flesh on his face. Mesmerized, Cagalli realized with disgust that this was the result of hatred. All of this had been done out of hatred for Coordinators. How could she fight against it? How could she fight an enemy that she couldn't see? That was buried deep in the hearts of so many people?

"This should never have happened," She whispered. "This is exactly the kind of think we are trying to prevent."

Her eyes began to water as she continued, thinking back. "Don't let yourself become another victim. There's so much that I wanted to tell you, so much of my life I wanted to…"

She hesitated, her eyes fixed on Athrun's wane face. She sounded like a woman soon to be widowed. She was afraid to blink, afraid that he would disappear from her life again – this time for good.

_Run… don't look back…Get out of here…_

His words echoed in her mind, almost hauntingly. Even after all he'd been through, he'd been ready and willing to give up everything for her – even his life. He may very well have done so.

"So much of my life that I wanted to share with you, Athrun Zala," She finished and exhaled loudly. "What we are working so hard for isn't just for a better future for humanity but for us as well. I don't want to see that future alone."

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Cagalli listened as the heart monitor shattered the icy silence. It was so unnerving yet she wasn't sure what frightened her more – having the consistent beeping remind her that Athrun was just barely clinging to life or having the beeping stop... the fight would then be over. They both would have then lost the battle.

"Miss. Cagalli."

Cagalli didn't dare take her eyes off of Athrun's lithe form even as she heard Unato enter the room and approach her from behind. His shadow loomed over her, falling over the hospital bed and its occupant. Cagalli tensed when a heavy hand fell upon her shoulder. "It is getting late. Your friends were right – you should get some rest."

"How could I possibly sleep knowing that Athrun would be here alone?" She asked bitterly. "I want to be here when he wakes up."

Unato gritted his teeth as his eyes bored into the unconscious boy. "I understand. He means a great deal to you… which makes this all the more difficult for me to tell you."

Cagalli stiffened. "Tell me what? Did you hear something about Athrun?"

"No," Unato took a deep breath. "I haven't. Nobody knows anything but if he _does_ wake up…"

"If…" Cagalli raised an eyebrow, her gaze shifting to the heavy man above her. "What are you trying to say?"

"We both know the Blue Cosmos tried to use him to discredit Orb on earth by claiming that we were reluctant to trial war criminals from the PLANTS. As you know, Athrun was involved in the attack on Heliopolis."

"So…"

"The people of Earth are outranged and are demanding justice be dealt to your friend. To protect Orb's reputation, I had no choice but to launch an official inquiry against Mr. Athrun Zala."

"You… you did what!" Cagalli's eyes bulged in shock before quickly clouding over with anger. Instinctively, she tightened her grip around Athrun's cold hand. "Hasn't he been through enough already!"

"If I let this go, our enemies will use it against us," Unato explained though his voice held no remorse. "By calling an inquiry, we will at least quall the anger this incident has caused on Earth. Nothing may come of it but at least then it will appear as if we are doing something. Accusations have been cast against him – it's standard procedure to call for an investigation."

"But we _know_ that Athrun isn't a war criminal!" Cagalli exploded. "This is ridiculous!"

"Like I said," Unato straightened. "It's more of a formality than anything else. If Athrun is innocent and it's proved that he wasn't one of the key players responsible for Heliopolis' destruction then there is nothing to be concerned about."

"What does that involve?" Cagalli sneered. "Rifling through his personal files and background while he lies here bed-ridden and possibly dying! It's disgusting! I won't allow it! Athrun shouldn't have to endure that! Not now!"

"If we don't do this, we will never be able to regain the trust that the people of Earth had in us." Unato turned his back on her and started for the door. Before he could slip out of view, he hesitated as an idea popped into his mind. Glancing over at the bed-ridden Coordinator and the heart-broken Orb princess, he fought back a sly smirk. "I hardly know your friend but I am sure he would rather submit to an investigation and be found innocent than allow Orb's credibility on Earth to be ruined on his account."

"It's degrading." Cagalli gritted out.

"It's necessary."

"I will not authorize it."

"Then you are being selfish."

"I am only doing what I think is right."

"Are you?" Unato demanded. "Because I fail to see how. Our reputation on Earth will be destroyed, negotiations will suffer and Athrun will never be free of the accusations the Blue Cosmos made. How could that possibly be the right thing?"

Cagalli squeezed Athrun's hand, considering what Unato had said. It was the only way. As much as she hated to admit it, it was the only way to undo the damage that had been done. "What if something goes wrong?" She asked.

"You mean what would happen if he were found guilty of war crimes?" Unato corrected.

Cagalli nodded.

"He'd been given a fair trial like any normal person. I doubt it will come to that though. This is more of a political move to keep the Earth happy. You have nothing to worry about."

Unato made his way back over to Cagalli and knelt down beside her. He held out a clipboard containing a slip of paper and a pen. "I will need you to sign this."

Cagalli took the pen between trembling fingers as she red over the document. Her stomach did a painful flop as she absorbed the words.

I herby authorize the formal investigation of Mr. Athrun Zala on the account of possible involvement in activities defined as war crimes against humanity. This investigation, for all intensive purposes, will be done in confidentiality and will remain as such unless substantial evidence demands further action.

Signed,

It was wrong.

Cagalli set the pen on the line on which she was to place her signature. Sweat gathered at her brow and she faltered for a brief second. Looking up at Unato who nodded in encouragement, she then shifted her gaze to Athrun. For along moment, she stared hard at his unconscious form. She had known him for over a year. What would he do if he was in her situation?

"Athrun," She took a deep breath, the weight of the decision heavy on her chest. "You know I don't believe any of this but for the sake of securing a peaceful future for everyone and ourselves, I don't have any other choice."

Realigning the pen on the paper, she scribbled her name on the line thus making the document official.

The deed had been done.

**TBC**

Phew, tough chapter. If I confused you a bit, I'm sorry and yes the phone call was between Unato and Jibril – sadly he is still alive. Don't be made though! (I need him for the sequel I intend to write).

I personally really enjoyed writing the scene between Yzak and Dearka – I hoe you liked it too.

Please let me know what you think ok? I love hearing from you. Reviews usually mean a faster update though I usually update quickly anyway. Hehhee. Thanks for reading!

Kageharu Kaco: I am glad you liked the last chapter! Yes, I get annoyed at siblings when they distract me too - glad I'm not the only one. Laughed at Jibril? Me too! Thanks for the review

daisukiasu'n'caga See? He's not dead yet

Slightly Sinister Sinestra: I hope this update was soon enough – sorry for the delay – I had trouble with this chapter. I'm glad you liked the car chase – I always wanted to write one… update u'r story soon please?

Cari-Akira: No no no! I love your long reviews! That shows me that you read the story lol. Funny you should mention Maloby, he will be reappearing shortly hehhehee. Again, thanks so much for your reviews – you have no idea how much fun it is reading them!

Nicole: hehehe, energizer – he keeps going and going and going – I like it.

Mel-chan i:Don't worry about Athrun… too much. I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I like Athrun too much to kill him. I don't like death fics.

"…" : There is no such thing as a late review. I appreciate you taking the time to review. I hope you feel better.


	19. White Ceilings

Hello again!

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update this story. I've been trying for the last three days but wouldn't let me update!

Anyway, thanks for the wonderful reviews everyone! I lied to you all though. There are actually going to be two more chapters to this story simply because I couldn't squeeze everything I wanted to into two. I probably could have but then one chapter would be about 25 pages and that's no fun to read.

Thanks again and I hope you enjoy it!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any references made to either series. All the doctors are mine though.**

**Abhorrence**

**Chapter #19: White Ceilings**

Everything was black. There was no light, no life, and no figures in motion. Nothing. He lay on what felt like a bed of fluffy clouds. He felt like he was floating, oblivious to the horrors that seemed like nothing more than a distant memory, a nightmare. He couldn't hear but he could tell that his senses were gradually returning as he smelt the thick odor of disinfectant in the heavy air.

"I'm dead," Was the first thought that entered Athrun's mind. "I didn't survive." However, something was wrong. Something was very wrong. As his senses game back in a rush, he flinched, his back arcing off the bed as a flaring pain ignited in his left shoulder and split off, blasting through ever nerve in his body. He opened his mouth to cry out but his voice couldn't seem to get past the lump that had formed in his throat.

"I'm alive…" he thought suddenly, gritting his teeth in a mild attempt to bare the pain. "Where am I?"

A white ceiling.

That was all that Athrun could see when he cracked open a weary, leadened eye. His vision blurred and he blinked a couple times to get everything into focus. Licking his cracked, dry lips he inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled. Gazing numbly at the pasty ceiling, he sighed.

_I hate white ceilings…_

He had seen too many of them during his time as a soldier and throughout the war.

Memories of the past flooded his mind and he shook his head weakly. He recalled seeing those murderous eyes gazing down upon his prone form. He remembered calling to Cagalli to run and grimily recalled how she didn't. He also remembered the deep sadness that had settled in his heart when he realized that he was about to die. He remembered the horrible helplessness that had washed over him, drowning him as he laid there at Jibril's feet. He had failed. He had failed to protect the most important thing in his life – Cagalli.

With a weak sigh, he closed his eyes and waited a moment before opening them again. This is time, the world seemed clearer and Athrun found that he was staring up at the ceiling again. It was like he was floating and he felt a wave of relief wash over him when he noticed his current position was comforting. Lying on his back, his head was propped up by what he thought to be a pillow and his left arm was lying across his chest while the right remained slack at his side. He seriously doubted he would have been able to move even if he had been uncomfortable. A soft blanket had been pulled up to his shoulders and, much to his embarrassment, he was dressed only in a thin, cotton gown.

The fowl smell of disinfectant and deadening silence brought Athrun to the conclusion that he was in a hospital. Establishing his location, the conclusion initiated a number of new questions that only added to the throbbing of his battered brain. His last recollection, painful as it was, was staring into the barrel of Jibril's gun. He remembered the bullet searing his shoulder, the shock and the pain. The rest was a blur.

What happened afterwards? What had happened to Cagalli? How did he get here? How serious were his injuries? Why did his head ache so?

Athrun closed his eyes once more in a mild attempt to settle his shattered mind. Even the simplest of thoughts made his head feel like it was going to explode and if he hadn't been so tired, he probably would have screamed. Breathing required enough effort already and he couldn't imagine trying to find the energy to move.

Athrun's eyelids fluttered, feeling like blocks of cement over his eyes. His lungs felt like there was a constricting band around them cutting off his air supply. It was strange. He could breathe, yet he felt the desire to choke and cough and get rid of that burning sensation in his throat.

It was unbearable. He coughed weakly and started to clear his lungs of the mucus that had developed in their depths. Only after he had finished did he realize that there was something lying across his lower chest.

A girl

It was Cagalli and a wave of relief rushed through him. From what he could tell, she seemed alright. In fact, she seemed to have fallen asleep on him.

The 17-year-old blushed, and wiggled, trying to get out from underneath her weight. Cagalli wasn't overly heavy, but at this point, any weight on his chest made him feel nauseous, sick and just plain awful. Athrun started to panic when she didn't wake up and wiggled a little harder.

Finally, Cagalli's eyes opened. She looked around, completely bewildered for a while, then looked up into Athrun's eyes. The girl started when she saw the pain in them. Thinking quickly, she lifted herself off him and leaned back into her chair.

"Thank you." He started to speak but she quickly hushed him.

Sheer exhaustion took him over and Athrun sighed, wearily. It didn't take long before he was dozing lightly. He wasn't out again like he had been, just asleep.

It was then that the nurse came in. He awoke the minute that she stood by his bed. It was a reflex he had picked up from the war.

"Athrun?"

"Cagalli?" Athrun asked as he forced his eyelids to reopen. The felt as though they weighed a ton each but he eventually managed and saw the worried faces of the nurse, Dr. Forestin and Cagalli all peering down at him. He tried to smile, which didn't quite come off and sighed deeply. Once more, pain lanced through him but settled to localize in his chest. For a minute, he couldn't remember what had happened to him. "What happened?"

"You were shot," Cagalli responded gently, holding Athrun's hand. "The doctor managed to get the bullet out… you were also shot in the shoulder."

"How long?"

"You had surgery almost three days ago."

Swallowing with difficulty, Athrun whispered, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Cagalli managed and saw Athrun lick his lips. Hastily, she grabbed a glass from the counter across the room and, filling it with water, she helped him drink. Athrun gulped the cool liquid but was tiring rapidly - whatever they had given him must have been pretty potent stuff. "Jibril is gone."

There was no response. Athrun's eyes were closed again and his breathing deepened. Cagalli sat back with a sigh. She was bone tired and still desperately worried about Athrun. He was paper-white from blood loss and Adam just hoped that he had enough strength to withstand any infection that may or may not be coursing through his body. The doctor seemed to feel that that infection, should there be any, wouldn't be that bad but Cagalli couldn't help worrying.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" The Doctor suggested. "I'll watch Athrun throughout the night and you can come back tomorrow."

Cagalli started to protest but the nurse over-rode her. "I think that is a good idea. We need to perform a few tests on Mr. Zala yet and ask him to answer a few questions for us. You can come and visit again tomorrow."

Cagalli straightened. She didn't want to leave Athrun but at the same time, didn't have the strength to argue as the doctor began to gently pull her towards the door. "Come on, Cagalli. Athrun needs to rest."

Reluctantly, Cagalli agreed though she knew it would be a sleepless night for her. She would undoubtedly stay up in Kira and Lacus' hotel room and count the hours until she could go back and see to Athrun's condition.

Just as quickly as Cagalli and Dr. Forestin left, a second doctor strutted in through the door. Under his arm was a clipboard and his bright blue eyes were hidden behind a pair of croaked glasses. He and Dr. Foestin exchanged a concerned glance at one another before Dr. Foestin nodded, motioning over towards the bed-ridden boy.

"Athrun Zala?"

Athrun nodded once, eyeing the doctor warily.

"I'm Doctor Moshi but you may call me Mo if you wish. It's my understanding that you have gone through quit a difficult time. I am a psychiatrist and I'm here to make sure that you didn't suffer any significant psychological injuries during your experience. I want to be _your friend_." The doctor pulled up a chair along his bedside and sat down.

Athrun wrinkled his nose in distaste. He had just woken up and already they felt that he had let his sanity slip away. This man was using that horrible baby voice that many people used when they wanted to gain his trust. He hated that.

_I'm not insane… I'm not! Just leave me alone!_

"Now," The doctor leaned forward almost too eagerly in his chair. "Can you tell me your name, age and how you feel?"

Athrun looked over longingly at the door. He wished Cagalli was still with him. Just having her with him would have made this all the easier for him. "My name is Athrun, I'm seventeen years old and I feel …"

The first word that came to his mind was weak so he said it. "I feel weak."

After taking a few notes, Dr. Moshi glanced up at him curiously. "Why is that?"

_"Because I'm lying here like an invalid, you moron!" _Was what Athrun wanted to say but he knew better. Still somewhat groggy, Athrun yawned and flinched at the pain the simple action caused in his chest and left shoulder as the muscles in it tensed.

"Because I'm sick."

"Very interesting, Athrun," Dr. Moshi smiled, fascinated by the fact that Athrun had chosen the word "sick" over "hurt" or "badly beaten." He made it sound almost natural. As if what he had endured didn't matter at all. "Tell me, do you remember what happened to you?"

Athrun was caught off guard by his question and immediately a rush of images flashed through his mind. The needle, the insults, the abuse, the pain, the threats… he shook his head, willing them away. It was a loosing battle and he knew it as they forced their way back into his consciousness. He shrunk back into his bed and further beneath his blankets to try and escape them.

"I don't want to remember." He mumbled lowly.

"Are you frightened?"

"No." Athrun fired him an angry glare.

"I understand," Dr. Moshi nodded and quickly began to scribble down a few more notes on his pad of paper. He looked up at Athrun and noticed the youth was watching with a wary suspicion. "Can you tell me a little bit about yourself then?"

Athrun didn't look keen as he leaned back against the pillow supporting his head and let out a soft, trembling sigh. Suddenly he felt the urge to scratch his nose and when he tried to raise his left arm to do so, he was shocked to find that he couldn't. Why couldn't he move his left arm? It was wrapped up but even so, it felt strangely disconnected from his body. Choosing to disregard the doctor's question, he decided to answer with a question of his own. "What is wrong with my left arm?" He demanded, his voice just barely audible.

"How does it feel?"

"I… it's stiff," Athrun admitted and turned his head to look at the immobilized joint that lay bandaged up across his chest. "Something is wrong." His green eyes glazed over in a sudden fear as an alarm in the back of his mind went off.

Distressed, Athrun made a move to get out of bed. He tried to sit up but the motion made him nauseous and he dropped back on his back, gasping for breath. Shifting so that he was resting on his right side, he made another attempt but again had little success.

"Please calm down," Dr. Moshi continued to speak soothingly to him which made Athrun even more anxious. "Your arm is bandaged up so you won't try to use it. You will only hurt yourself further if you try to get out of bed and your body is still very weak. Would you please answer my question?"

"What… what is wrong with me?" Athrun's bottom lip trembled as he twisted around again and fought to raise his left arm until it was at eyelevel. Again, he failed. The arm was bandaged but he should have been able lift it. Something was very, very wrong and it scared him. To not be in control of his body terrified him and memories of his capture seemed to come to life before his very eyes. "Why can't I raise me arm?" Athrun's attention turned to the doctor. "What did you do to me?"

"Dr. Forestin saved your life," Dr. Moshi explained. "From his report, it seems as though he suffered severe injuries to your shoulder… it is doubtful that you will regain full use of your left arm or full rotation of your shoulder."

Athrun's eyes widened in unmasked disbelief. His eyes dropped to his arm before they fell on the doctor again. If it was possible, he had become even paler. He had managed to twist and ultimately trap himself in his blanket. Uncomfortable, he struggled to free himself of the sheet that had wrapped itself around his thin frame and his legs. "You're lying… you have to be…"

"I'm sorry, Athrun," Dr. Moshi told him and stood up. He then did something that no psychiatrist would do when dealing with a patient that had just suffered such malicious physical and emotional abuse as Athrun had. In a moment of thoughtlessness, he made a move to help Athrun untangle himself and the youth responded badly. Very badly.

His body reacted out of instinct and seeing the man lunge towards him, he reared back as quickly as he could in the condition he was in. The action was slow but enough to send him tumbling out of bed. He landed on the unforgiving floor on his left side and a wave of pain seared up his shoulder and exploded in his chest.

All mental defenses gone, Athrun screamed.

"Athrun… please, don't move." Dr. Moshi begged, immediately realizing his mistake. The boy was now lying beside his bed, gasping and coughing as if he was struggling to pull air into his lungs. He curled in on himself, clutching at his left arm as he pulled it close. His eyes slammed shut as his face contorted into a look of pain. He wasn't listening as the wave of agony that had flooded his senses refused to pass and lingered, paining him further.

"Dr. Forestin!" Dr. Moshi panicked. "Dr. Forestin!"

In an instant the doors to Athrun's room flew open and in rushed his doctor as well as two others and Cagalli. In their hands were multiple supplies and as the doctors struggled to organize themselves, Cagalli dropped to the ground beside Athrun. He was shaking, his eyes squeezed shut so hard that they were watering as he clutched his left arm in pain, drawing it in even closer to his stomach.

"Athrun," Cagalli hissed desperately as she was carelessly shoved aside by an unfamiliar doctor who was focused on getting Athrun back into bed. The injured Coordinator stumbled as the doctors did their best to pull him off of the floor.

The fresh pain wouldn't go away and Athrun saw lights flash before his eyes as he felt himself being dragged up from the floor and guided back into bed. He could hear voices and cringed when bodies accidentally bumped into him, agitating his injured body further. He felt arms all over him but was too far gone to complain or protest.

As they laid him back down, he tensed, fighting against the urge to scream. Reminding himself to breath, Athrun inhaled and exhaled slowly to lower his heart rate and regain what little composure he had left. ZAFT's once perfect soldier was now, more or less, a perfect mess. It hurt so much. So much that he wished he would just pass out and escape it all.

_Sleep…_ the very thought made Athrun's eyes roll back and he felt his body slump forward from exhaustion. He couldn't move. Every ounce of his strength had been drained, ruthlessly sapped from his body. He could feel his limbs going limp but didn't try to fight it.

_Don't fight it… just let the darkness pull you into oblivion…_

"Let me see him!"

"Take it easy!"

"Is he asleep?"

"Athrun!"

Withdrawing deeper into himself, Athrun didn't bother responding as he felt invading hands roam over his body. It wasn't until someone took hold of his left arm that he snapped to attention with a shocked yelp. His eyes flew open in pain and he went completely white when he caught sight of a tall man dressed in white analyzing him roughly and paying little mind to the pain he was inflicting upon his patient.

Athrun gasped in sudden alarm and instinctively tried to pull his hand away from the intrusive doctor. He scowled as his body came alive, squirming feebly against the hands that were holding him still. He hated doctors. He hated them to the point of almost fearing them.

"Stop it!" He heard Cagalli's voice and his eyes desperately searched to find her face. "Stop it! You are hurting him!'

The doctor just ignored her pleas and waved her aside as one would a disobedient child. Holding the thin, discolored limb in his grip, the doctor eyed it suspiciously before carefully twisting it ever so slightly to the right. The minor movement brought forth a soft whimper from the patient as Athrun froze, biting back the agony that was surging through him.

"Did that hurt?" the doctor asked carelessly, still refusing to let go of him. He had tended to so many injuries that it became more of a routine for him than a profession. The excitement had quickly drained from his career for he found that his patients weren't very creative when it came to sustaining injuries – they were always the same.

"What do you think!" Athrun growled between gritted teeth as the doctor finally let him go. Biting back another cry, he protectively pulled his arm close, rubbing it tenderly with his good hand. Stupid doctors… who could they just poke prod and pull at wounded limbs and then ask if it hurt? Athrun shook his head in frustration and tensed.

"It is just as I thought," The doctor sighed, clearly unimpressed by Athrun's juvenile behavior. Throwing a glance over to Cagalli and Dr. Forestin, he threw his nose up in the air knowingly. "Mr. Zala has managed to tear open the stitches in his left arm."

No one spoke, urging the doctor to continue.

"Be thankful that the wound itself is still closed," He stated bluntly, shooting Athrun an irritated glare. "It will hurt for a while but it could have been much worse. I'll inject you something to calm you down and then we will have to put the stitches back."

"Is that wise, Dr. Biggs?" Dr. Forestin asked, raising a concerned eyebrow. "We had to limit the drugs we gave him during his surgery because of the high concentration of sedatives in his blood. Putting him under again so soon may not be a good idea. He could still have a reaction."

"He should be fine," Dr. Biggs shrugged off the other doctor's words. "It's been four days and all the tests we've done since his surgery seemed to come up positive."

"Will he be okay?" Cagalli asked hopefully. Everyone was thinking the same thing but no one dare ask twice. "Do you mean he has to go back into surgery?"

Dr. Biggs looked thoughtful for a moment before shrugging as though he could care less. "Yes, but it isn't anything serious."

Athrun didn't hear any of it. Had he, he would have leapt up in relief and thanked the heavens for their generosity. His mind still hadn't registered the doctors' first words…inject him with something_? Inject as in…._ Athrun gulped, licking his lips nervously. _Inject as in a needle! _If there was anything he hated more than doctors, it was needles. Athrun's nightmares swirled with past memories and suddenly, the two seemed indistinguishable.

"No." Athrun spoke quickly as beads of nervous sweat trickled down his brow. "I'll be fine." Had he the energy, he would have made a run for it. The door wasn't far. Surely he would have been able to put some distance between himself and the doctor. Needles… he remembered how they made him feel so light-headed and faint. They drained him, made him feel weak and he hated that.

"Athrun you need the shot." Dr. Forestin stated sadly and shot Dr. Moshi and annoyed glare before focusing back on Athrun. When he caught sight of the skittish look in his patient's eyes, he realized that the youth was reliving the past… his time as a prisoner. "Don't worry, everything is going to be okay."

_I will be FINE! Why won't people just leave me alone! I don't WANT another needle! I don't WANT another doctor I don't….._

Athrun felt his mind freeze when he looked up to see a lone figure standing quietly at the foot of his bed. A young girl with beautiful golden hair and fiery, auburn eyes was staring directly at him.

His mouth opened to speak but no words found there way out.

"Cagalli…"

"Give me you're hand, Athrun," the doctor instructed and Athrun, now fixated on the girl before him, obediently did so without question. He forgot about how he disliked doctors for his thoughts were focused elsewhere. Cagalli was with him. She was here with him…to provide support at the time when he needed it the most.

"Oh Athrun!" Cagalli cried and Athrun felt his eyes widen as she rushed over and, sitting down beside him, wrapped her arms around him tightly. He felt like a teddy bear and blushed. "It will be ok… you will be fine… I promise…"

"He WILL be fine once he let's me give him this," the impatient doctor held up a small needle containing a clear fluid that glistened under the light. No one had noticed him slip away and get the proper equipment to mend the injured youth. He chuckled as the color drained from Athrun's face and his eyes widened with fright. He loved turning young men into jumpy, juvenile children.

Athrun felt his insides rise as he nervously watched the doctor inch closer towards him, baring the needle like one would a dagger. The sadistic grin of pleasure didn't help secure his confidence or ease his nerves either. Apprehensively, Athrun backed up against the headrest of his bed, every muscle in his body coiled and tense.

Watching, Dr. Forestin sighed. "Come on, Athrun, it's just a shot."

Cagalli's face softened as she felt the young man's body tense up against hers. Smiling gently, she guided his head into her shoulder, forcing him to look away. He didn't resist. She caressed the top of his head softly, in hopes to somehow calm him.

Cagalli watched as the doctor took hold of Athrun's wrist, which was the only part of his arm that wasn't bandaged, found a vein and injected the needle into the sensitive skin. Cagalli's eyes began to water as the liquid exited and made its way into his system.

Athrun moaned faintly as he felt the painful prick and the horrid tingling sensation of having the cool fluid rush through his veins. He shivered, burying his face deeper into Cagalli's shirt. The whole procedure made him feel queasy.

He didn't watch, not trusting his stomach if he should threw a glance over to see what the doctor was doing. Athrun could feel him rubbing another strange substance over his wrist and guessed it was some sort of disinfectant. Drawing into himself, Athrun felt a numbing sensation run up and down his arm.

Cagalli glanced downward at him when she felt his entire weight suddenly lean into her. His eyes had drifted shut again and his body had gone completely limp against her. Her heart ached with guilt and sympathy as she realized just how small and helpless he looked in her arms. Securing her hold around him, she looked up at Dr. Forestin and Dr. Biggs questionably. "What did you do?"

"The anesthetic will keep him out long enough for us to re-stitch his shoulder," Dr. Biggs told her harshly. The doctor spun on his heals and made his way back to the door, calling back to the other two as he left. "Prep him for surgery. Dr. Forestin, I will need your assistance. Hopefully this is the last time that we will have to do this."

Dr. Forestin nodded silently. His brow furrowed ever so slightly as he hurried around to help Cagalli, who was still supporting most of Athrun's weight and keeping him from falling off his bed. Together they carefully guided him back beneath his blankets and placed his head gently on the pillow.

"Why is that doctor so angry?" She demanded. "Why is he so rough with him?" Her eyes fixed on Athrun's pale features. She just couldn't understand.

Dr. Forestin sighed. "Dr. Biggs is one of those people who are good at what at what they do but, nevertheless, in the wrong profession. He doesn't like people and he has a personal vendetta with Coordinators. You need not worry though – he doesn't let that interfere with his work. He's like that with everyone."

Cagalli could only shake her head in disgust.

"I have to get ready," The doctor told her firmly. "Dr. Biggs will need my help. The surgery won't take long. Why don't you get yourself something from the cafeteria down below while you wait?"

A soft smile brightened her tear-stained face. The kind doctor had long since realized that is was futile to try and persuade her to leave. Slowly, he stood up and stepped away from the bed. She left the room but not before taking one last long and hard look at the bed's occupant. "Athrun… she whispered longingly and, with a deep breath, left his room.

The cafeteria wasn't far.

She hurried towards the dining area where she sat in the dark and decided to wait for about half an hour before making her way back to Athrun's room to inquire about his condition. She couldn't help but feel guilty for causing all this. She knew she had promised Kira she wouldn't but still, she did. Not just that but she had been forced into calling an investigation against Athrun! An investigation that she personally knew was unnecessary.

Hunching over, she crossed his arms on the table; her eyes staring right through the tabletop in front of her. Everything was deathly quiet though Cagalli didn't mind. It gave her time to think. Her ears perked at the sound of sudden footsteps coming in her direction. Glancing up, she raised a questioning eyebrow when she saw Dearka gazing down at her. He was dressed in his hospital gown and, in his hand, he held a cup of milk.

"Can I help you?" She asked and winced as the words came out a little more crudely than she would have liked.

"Just came down for a drink," Dearka pointed to his cup to prove his point and took the seat across from her. "I couldn't sleep so I came down here." He admitted. "I guess I'm not the only one."

"I see," Cagalli shrugged, her eyes unwavering as she eyed him strangely. "If you don't mind me saying so it would probably be best if you tried to get some rest. Don't forget that you took a pretty bad bump on the head."

"I suppose so," Dearka shrugged and took a long sip from his glass. "I just felt I needed to go for a walk and clear my banged up brain. There has been so much that has happened it's hard to fathom."

"Indeed," Cagalli agreed and lowered her eyes. "A lot has happened."

Dearka seemed to catch on that there was more to her words and frowned. Leaning forward, he willed her too look up at him. "Hey, I know I'm not the best at this sort of thing but if something is on your mind, you can feel free to use me as a sound board."

"I've done something terrible to Athrun." Cagalli whispered hoarsely. Her body trembled as the heart-felt guilt that had been plaguing her escaped her eyes in the form of tears. She tensed and raised her head to look at Dearka. "I've done something horrible and I don't think he will ever forgive me."

"Hey, none of this is your fault," Dearka was quick to point out. She was crying. He mentally groaned and scratched the back of his head nervously. He'd never been very good at comforting women. "Besides, he loves you. We all know that."

Cagalli shook her head. "Not after this."

"Are we talking about the same thing?"

"I…" Cagalli hesitated for a moment. "I had to call and investigation against Athrun. I didn't have much choice but still… it … it's so wrong!"

"You what?" Dearka straightened, confused. "Why?"

"It's a long story."

"I've got time."

"I'd rather not discuss it."

"Does he know about it?" Dearka's face darkened. Athrun was his friend. Their relationship had been complicated but he had developed a certain amount of respect for his comrade and it burned him to see his friend being dragged through such horrendous abuse and humiliation.

Cagalli shook her head. "No. I can't tell him. Nothing may even come out of the investigation and he's been through so much already… I don't want to make things worse."

"But you have!" Dearka practically shouted at her, causing Cagalli to cringe. "You're doing this behind his back! Don't you think he has a right to know!"

"Not right now he doesn't," Cagalli growled. "I just saw Athrun. He's in a lot of pain and doesn't need this on top of it."

Dearka paused. "He's alright?"

"He's alive," Cagalli corrected. "I think it is going to take a long time before we can say that he is alright. He's afraid. I've never seen him so vulnerable."

Dearka said nothing. Deep down, he knew what she meant. He remembered how Athrun had behaved on their journey back to the hotel where they reunited with Cagalli, Kira and Lacus. He remembered how sick he had been and how he had turned violent when the strange man had tried to attack him.

For a long moment, there was silence between them. Neither really sure what to say.

"You won't tell him will you?" Cagalli asked in a small voice. "About the investigation?"

"No," Dearka grumbled and slumped in his chair. "I won't but he's going to find out sooner or later. How do you think he will feel then?"

"I don't know," Cagalli admitted. "But right now just isn't the time. He's sick, weak, hurting and he needs all the support he can get. Once he's a little better, maybe then I will talk to him about this."

Dearka nodded. "As long as you talk to him about it… do you think they will find anything in this so-called investigation?"

"Representative Saran said they probably wouldn't."

"I just hope you know you know what you are doing, Cagalli." Dearka shook his head, a deep look of concern pasted across his weary face. "For Athrun's sake, I hope you know what you're getting into."

"Me too."

**TBC**

Well I hope you liked it. Athrun's a little skittish but you can't blame him can you? After everything I put him through it would be silly for him not to be at least a little affected by it all. I'm not entirely happy with this chapter though but I think it's as good as I can make it. If you find grammar mistakes, please let me know ok? I desperately need someone to edit my work because when you read it over and over you just miss mistakes when it's in your own work. Please be kind.

Please review and let me know what you think ok? I love hearing from everybody! Thanks very much to those who reviewed the last chapter.

Until next time, Krilyn.

Kageharu Kaco: It's nice when all your fav. Stories are updated. See? Athrun is ok… sorta…thanks for always being my first reviewer – on both stories.

BlackFeatherz29: I'm glad you liked the hospital scene. This chapter was hard to write too so I hope you liked it.

Cari-Akira : YAy! Another one of my favorite reviewers! U'r reviews are always so long and I love them! Your hunch that something bad will happen is right but that will wait for the sequel. I hope you'll read it too lol. I can't tell you how much i love u'r reviews!

Omi and Genny-Chan: Yes, you are right. The plants could help him… but don't give away the rest of my story before I've written it. smiles

"...": Thanks for the kind words. I hope you will read the sequel when I get around to writing it. Thanks again for your consistent and wonderful reviews.

Slightly Sinister Sinestra: We'll have to flip a coin to decide who to hate more lol. I love dr. Forestin too! He reminds me of my doctor.

daisukiasu'n'caga: See? The operation went well. Yay!

Mel-chan: Your not paranoid. Something bad will happen lol. Thanks for the review!

ladyathena11: Hurray! I am a 9.5! Thanks for the kind words. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's nice that you took the time to read the whole thing through. hehhee

Ardelle: Wow… sorry for the slower than usual update. Hope you liked this chapter.


	20. Free No More

Hi again!

Sorry the posting is so late. I have exams coming up and well…. It's crunch time. Thank you everyone for being patient. Pleas review! And a big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I really appreciate it.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, Gundam Seed Destiny or any references made to either series. The doctors are mine though.**

**Abhorrence**

**Chapter #20: Free No More**

It was the sound of droplets of rain pelting down steadily against the roof that stirred the young man from his deep slumber. Trapped in a state of semi-consciousness, Athrun forced his eyes open a crack and moaned softly. His limbs felt stiff, his head swimming as each rain drop sounded like an explosion erupting inside his head.

The night had not been kind to him and for some reason he had awakened with a painful headache and an uneasiness that didn't want to release him. Recently, his sleep had been nothing but a gateway for nightmares. He didn't know how long he had been restricted to his bed but it felt like an eternity. In reality it had only been five weeks. During that time, he had sensed the presence of doctors, nurses and strangers that would come and poke and prod at him as though he were a mire lab experiment. Just because most of the time he hadn't been fully conscious did not mean that he wasn't aware that they were there.

Perhaps the worst of them all was Dr. Moshi.

Every day the doctor would come and immediately begin to bombard him with questions, not really waiting for answers before continuing the onslaught of torture on his exhausted brain. Athrun tensed with anger. He hated him, he hated what he did to him and he hated the way he made him feel. After Athrun failed to correctly respond to most of his inquiries, the doctor would hum and haw and then shake his head in disapproval before taking his leave. It made Athrun feel awful. It made him feel stupid, pathetic, useless and… dismal.

To be fair though, Athrun hadn't been overly cooperative. After deciding that he did not like Dr. Moshi, Athrun made next to no effort to participate in any sort of conversation with him during their sessions together. He had struggled with Dr. Biggs when he came in to take his routine blood test and he almost always refused to eat when the nurses brought him his meals. On more than one occasion he had been forced to eat. It wasn't that he was deliberately being stubborn – it was just he wasn't hungry and the thought of food made him want to vomit.

Once, he had even overhead Dr. Moshi grumble to one of the nurses about how he was the worst patient he had ever seen but Athrun could care less. All he wanted to do was leave and only a promise by Dr. Forestin that would be discharged on June 24 kept him from trying to break out of the hospital. He felt caged, trapped and completely helpless. The doctors had given him permission to get out of bed and move around freely but his he was still restricted to his room and the bathroom that was jointed to it. It reminded him of his time with the Blue Cosmos and he desperately wished that everyone would just leave him alone.

He was aware that he had had visitors throughout his stay at the hospital for they had left reminders for him around the room. On the table to his left, there was a large bouquet of flowers that he was sure were left from Lacus and Kira. Stretched across the bare wall was a large banner that read "Get Well Soon." Also, bundles of balloons and gifts had gathered on the floor adding color to his dull surroundings which he also assumed were from Lacus and Kira. Finally, on the table to his far right, there was a pile of get well cards. His lip curled into a small smile when he focused on the closest one to him and read the inscription on it.

Athrun,

Feel better,

Yzak

Athrun shook his head. Yzak had never been one for words.

The back of his throat contracted and his stomach clenched powerfully. He lay in bed, stomach churning, trying to decide what to do. Should he try to make it to the bathroom, and possibly aggravate his stomach more, or stay in bed and hope it calmed down?

When it lurched again, Athrun realized it wasn't going to calm down.

Blinking to clear his hazy vision, Athrun's eyes fell upon the bathroom across the room. His stomach growled a second time and Athrun realized that unless he moved, he was going to throw up. Athrun slid one leg over the side of his bed, the other following close behind as he stumbled out of bed and staggered towards the bathroom.

He fell down hard on his knees in front of the toilet and stared blankly at the water while the tremors in his body worsened. Convulsions started low in his belly and rolled upwards until his mouth filled with bile. _The medication…_ his mind just barely processed. The night before Dr. Biggs had given him something to help him sleep despite his futile protests - He was having a reaction to it.

He leaned violently into the bowl and vomited out all the accumulated pain, shame, and humiliation. He coughed and choked on the foul liquid as it burned the back of his throat and seared his nasal passages. He squeezed his eyes shut at the stinging sensation and felt hot tears scoring his cheeks. When the heaving stopped, his head fell onto his outstretched arm.

Panting with exhaustion, he absently spat the drool lingering on his lips and waited for his body to recover. He looked down, staring through the frothy, half-digested contents of the bowl. There had been very little in his stomach. He retched violently again, dry heaved until he felt like his stomach had turned inside-out, and then promptly sank to the bathroom floor, letting his eyes drift shut for a moment.

Athrun came back to consciousness sometime later, confused briefly as to why he was on the floor. He blinked up at the ceiling while his eyes adjusted to the light. It was still haunting pallid. Athrun was on his back with his neck bent awkwardly, chin touching his collarbone. He had apparently fallen back against the sink and then his limp body slumped down into its current position, wedged into the corner between the wall and the sink. He groaned loudly as the muscles in his neck and shoulders protested painfully as he began to slowly pull himself upright. The sudden rush of blood back into his head caused him to cry out and clutch his scalp as white-hot pain tore through his brain like a knife. He nearly passed out again from the onslaught, but squeezed his eyes shut and just rode out the wave until it subsided.

It took another long stretch of minutes for him to rally the energy to pull himself to his feet. Once that was accomplished, he held onto the sink until the dizziness passed. Athrun nearly gagged again at the horrible taste in his mouth and leaned over the sink to cup the cold water from the faucet in his hand and bring it up to his mouth to gargle and wash his chin. He repeated this process until he could no longer taste what he had regurgitated. Athrun hissed loudly between his teeth when the water splashed up onto his abraded wrists, causing pain to blaze through the raw skin. Glancing down, he realized that each of his wrists had been wrapped in gauze but that didn't stop the agony that seared through them when the cold liquid splashed against them.

He bit his lip to stave off some of the queasiness that momentarily rushed through him. His eyes momentarily caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror and he froze, horrified. The gown he wore clung to his lithe and sickly body and he was shocked by the haggard expression on his face. His left shoulder and chest seemed unnaturally bulky and he realized that a tight bandage had been wrapped around his waist and left shoulder. What had happened to him! This couldn't be him could it? Athrun raised a trembling hand to the glass, watching as his reflection did the same. The bruises the marred his once handsome features were fading but that didn't change the fact that they were there. That _they _had done this to him.

A soft chilling wind swept through his bedroom, sinking it's fangs into his bones as the rain continued to fall steadily. His gaze still bored into the young man staring back at him through the mirror – for a moment, he had thought that the last few months had simply been a bad dream. Something he could awaken from.

His expression widened when his tired mind realized the reflection in the glass was in fact his own and he stepped back, slowly reaching up towards his swollen and bruised eye. His grimaced as his fingers delicately ran across the purple, flesh and cowered away from the painful sensation that the motion had caused. It would be sore for a very, very long time – a constant reminder of a day, a time and a place that he desperately wanted to forget.

Athrun bowed his head, clutching both sides of the bowl tightly. His legs felt unsteady and he felt pathetically weak. He hated feeling weak. He hated feeling dependant and vulnerable and for the last while that was all he had been. He would have died had it not been for the old man in the prison and now, he was at the mercy of the medical staff. Still vulnerable, still pathetically weak.

"Athrun?"

Unresponsive, Athrun watched as Dr. Moshi's reflection appeared in the window behind his own. His expression was sad as he approached him cautiously. His movements were slow and draw out, leaving Athrun on edge.

"Do you need assistance?" The doctor called causing Athrun to nearly jump right out of his skin. Throwing a startled glance over at his door, his eyes narrowed at the sight of the doctor who was now standing behind him and eying him with curiously. He hadn't even heard the man enter.

"No, thanks." Athrun mumbled and shuddered as a wave of dizziness swept over him. "I'm fine."

The doctor wasn't convinced. "It looks to me like you have just been sick to your stomach. Perhaps we should sit down and discuss it. I'm your friend, Athrun. Remember that. Whatever is bothering you we can sit down and talk about."

Athrun's body tensed as his expression became steely and cold. Talk. That was all this man wanted to do was talk! Talk and talk and talk about all the things that Athrun wanted to keep buried and locked away. He felt a hand come down on his good shoulder and something inside of him snapped. He violently swung around to remove the unwanted hand but lost his balance and fell hard onto the floor. He kicked his legs wildly as he scrambled back up to his feet, backing up against the ceramic wall.

"What do you want?" Athrun croaked. He desperately wished he had the pistol he had carried with him during the war but that was long gone. If he had it with him, he could blow this guy away and then… Athrun jolted in alarm. Where were these thoughts coming from? He shouldn't be thinking like this! He wasn't a killer.

"I came to speak with you."

"Speak with me," Athrun parroted while he tried to shake off the initial scare that the man's touch had caused. "I didn't hear you come in."

"I'm sorry if I startled you." Dr. Moshi stated dryly. "Are you sure you don't need a nurse?'

"I _said_ I was fine."

"Very well," Dr. Moshi wasn't convinced but had learned better than to push the issue. The man watched as Athrun continued to stare at him warily, silently warning him to stay back. "So, how do you feel this morning?"

"Better," Athrun lied and took a deep breath. He wanted to get out of here. He despised the doctors, he hated being constantly reminded of what had happened to him and his injuries and he didn't appreciate being continually pampered by people he didn't even know.

"Do you know what day it is today?" Dr. Moshi asked as he eyed Athrun suspiciously. He could see that he had sweated out his gown and he could hear a slight trembling in his voice. With his clipboard in hand, he pulled out a pen from his breast pocket and prepared to start writing. It was something that only added to Athrun's anger.

"The day after yesterday," Athrun muttered under his breath and ripped his gaze away from him. There had been a time when he had tried to answer this man's questions but the result was only painful headaches that resulted from the memories this man continually forced him to relive and they made his insides churn. Now, he didn't even try.

"Today is June 24," The doctor answered curtly and shook his head in frustration. "You need to at least try to be cooperative. You have suffered a lot of trauma and we need to make sure that you are in good mental health."

"When can I leave?" Athrun demanded and reopened his eyes to throw a questioning stare of his own. "Dr. Forestin said yesterday that I could leave tomorrow which would be today."

Doctor Moshi shook his head and put a hand over his patient's forehead to check for a fever. He found none. "I know what Dr. Forestin said…"

"So today then?"

"Athrun..." The doctor tired to cover up his frustration but it didn't slip past his patient.

Athrun could hear the irritation in his voice and see it in his dark eyes. It was hard not to. His questions were often met with condemning stares and sharp responses that usually made it seem as though he was more of a burden than a patient.

"Athrun," Dr. Moshi cleared his throat. Leaning forward, he willed the young man to meet him eye to eye. "I'm going to be frank with you as it seems to be the only way I can get anything through to you."

Athrun licked his lips nervously. He didn't like the way this was sounding.

"I personally do not feel that you are ready to leave the hospital," Dr. Moshi told him sternly, his eyes unwavering as the boy's eyes widened in horror. "You haven't shown very much progress and some of your behavior has been, at times, rather unpredictable."

"W… what?" Athrun tried to sit up and bit back a groan as the sudden motion made his head spin. This couldn't be happening. This just couldn't be happening! He felt the color drain from his face. He was never going to get out of here!

"I've done some research into your history in order to better understand your behavior and there is a lot that troubles me," The doctor continued. "You were a mobile suit ace during the war and a trained soldier."

Athrun could only nod stupidly. He didn't understand what that had to do with anything.

"Look at yourself," Dr. Moshi shook his head. "You have capabilities that would make you very difficult to control should you decide to act out of fear. Take now for instance. I step into the room and just the look in your eyes screams murder."

Athrun recoiled, feeling as if someone had just punched him in the stomach. "Are you saying that I'm… dangerous?" His hands clinched into fists as he shot the doctor an incensed glare.

"You are not stable," The doctor corrected simply. "You aren't demonstrating that you have come to terms with all that has happened and that can be hazardous. I don't think you've even shed a tear over what has transpired. It can make you dangerous and when considering your history… you could yourself become a threat to the people around you."

"You can't keep me here." Athrun snarled archly. "I haven't done anything…"

"Exactly," The doctor cut him off. "And I don't think it is wise to put you in a position where you _could_ do something you may regret later."

Choosing not to reply, Athrun dropped his gaze to the tile floor and lowered his eyes in mild shame. It was embarrassing and humiliating. Never had he felt so miserable. "What is it you want me to do?" He demanded bitterly. "Do you want me to cry?"

If that was what this man wanted then Athrun was certain that he could shed tears of extreme frustration at the prospect of being trapped in the hospital for the rest of his life. He was trapped. Regardless of what happened, he would never be free and in control of his life again. This was too much and again his stomach lurched painfully. A wave of dizziness that threatened to buckle his knees surged through Athrun's body and he threw out a hand to steady himself on the wall. Dr. Moshi took a step towards him.

"Athrun?"

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Athrun's grip on the wall tightened as the words just barely escaped his trembling lips. Defeated in mind and spirit, Athrun sagged to his knees. He could hear Jibril's words echoing in his mind, shouting and yelling at him. He could hear Dr. Moshi's persistent questions rattling in his ear drums and he clutched his head with both hands, palms pressing into his temples in an effort to ease the torture.

Despite Athrun's assurance earlier that he was fine, Dr. Moshi was by his side in a flash.

"No, don't touch me," Athrun moaned as the doctor placed his hands on his shoulders.

"Athrun, look at me." He ordered.

The blue-haired youth swatted at the persistent hands that were attempting to pry his own from his head. The quick, jarring motions caused another wave of nausea and Athrun doubled over. "Oh, God," He whimpered as his stomach began an all-too-familiar rippling.

Dr. Moshi reacted immediately ad hauled him by his good arm and half-carried, half-dragged him back towards the toilet.

Athrun began coughing and choking the moment his face was over the bowl but there was nothing left in his stomach to come up. His whole body heaved forward painfully with each spasm, blacking out his vision. In between convulsions, he became aware of a light caressing on his back.

"Easy… relax, Athrun," The doctor whispered soothingly as he crouched beside him and rubbed his hand in a circular motion between his shoulder blades.

Athrun hated to admit it but it was helping. After a few more coughs, he spat the drool out of his mouth and wiped the tears from his cheeks. When he was confident that he was finished, he sat back up. The doctor handed him a towel and, reluctantly, Athrun accepted it. He felt disgusting. He was drenched in sweat, his hospital gown clinging to his lithe body and his bangs were sticking to his forehead.

"Feel better now?"

Athrun narrowed his eyes over the towel and the man in front of him. "I don't want to stay here anymore," He told him firmly. "Dr. Forestin promised… he said I could leave today. I _want_ to go home."

The doctor thought it was strange for him to say he wanted to go home when, in reality, Athrun really didn't have anywhere to go to. He'd been staying with Cagalli and working as her bodyguard but he hadn't really established himself. Nevertheless, he didn't question him. He could see that Athrun was hurting and that the atmosphere of the hospital was doing more damage than good.

"As I was saying earlier," The doctor inhaled deeply. "While I personally believe it isn't in your best interests to leave the hospital yet, I also believe that this atmosphere is causing you great distress."

Athrun nodded, swallowing to try and get rid of the burning sensation in his throat.

"Under certain conditions, I could approve your release from the hospital."

"Conditions?" Athrun pressed curiously. At this point he didn't care. He would do anything to be able to walk freely on the open streets. To be able to breath in the fresh air and feel the sun's rays caress his face.

"If you agree to a temporary suspension of your duties as Miss. Cagalli's body guard and attend regular sessions with me so we can still monitor your behavior and injuries then we could discharge you from the hospital." The doctor explained. "You must also agree to remain in this area. No traveling outside of Orb."

Athrun clinched his jaw and nodded again. "I understand."

"And you have to start cooperating with me when we do have our sessions," Dr. Moshi added quickly. "That includes taking your medication on a regular basis and having daily meals. I am well aware of how you fight with the nurses when they ask you to eat."

The thought of eating anything at that moment made his stomach churn but Athrun managed to keep everything down this time. His heart was slowing down and easing into a more normal pace as he felt himself start to calm down. "I will."

Dr. Moshi raised an eyebrow. "Is it that easy?"

"I'll make it that easy." Athrun snapped curtly and forced himself to stand.

"In that case, I will inform the gaggle in the lobby that you are ready to leave." Dr. Moshi announced, grinning widely. It was apparent that he was happy to be rid of the troublesome patient… at least for now. "They were all very anxious to see you."

Athrun watched him leave and tensed as the door slammed shut. Again, he was alone. Still standing in the bathroom, Athrun staggered over to his bed and sat down; the journey exhausting him. He looked over at his pile of get-well cards and smiled in spite of himself.

"Athrun!"

He knew that voice. Looking up, his entire expression brightened when he caught site of Cagalli standing by his door. He blond hair was tucked behind her ears and she was dressed in a neatly-pressed green shirt and jeans.

"Hi Cagalli," He whispered hoarsely and smiled weakly.

"Athrun!" Cagalli's high pitched cry filled the room and she rushed towards him, throwing her arms around his neck and squeezing him tightly. "You're coming home with us today!"

Athrun returned her embrace and grinned when he caught sight of Kira and Lacus waiting patiently by the door. They were going to take him home, he was finally going home, back to his own room, back to what he knew. His heart clinched painfully as he grimly realized that he still wasn't free. In exchange for permission to leave, he had agreed to return regularly so the doctors could assault him with their annoying questions and remind him of his ailments.

"How do you feel?" Kira asked, a large smile spitting his features.

"I want to go home," Athrun answered and with a deep breath, carefully planted his feet back on the floor and pushed himself upright. The sudden movement made him dizzy but he didn't care. Throwing both his legs over the edge of the bed he forced himself to stand.

The world spun and he staggered forward as a dizzy spell overtook him. His head felt heavy and he was sure that he was going to vomit again. However, he held it in and looked up at his friends, silently pleading for one of them to help him.

"I must have worn myself out," He mentally told himself and shook his head. "This is pathetic."

Cagalli seemed to understand that Athrun was struggling and hurried over, literally catching him just as he was about to fall forward onto the hard floor. Her heart ached when she heard him cry out softly against her shoulder and tighten his grip around her. Holding her, he hugged her tightly and closed his eyes, feeling safe in her grasp. He felt like a little child, desperately in need of a protective wing.

"I want to go home," He whispered and his voice cracked as he fought back tears of joy and relief. He knew he still wasn't well. He knew that he still had a lot of problems but he didn't care. All Athrun Zala wanted was to go home. Back to the life he had known before his capture.

"There, there," Cagalli gently caressed the back of the young man's head and held him close. "You're going home Athrun, you're going home."

Despite her efforts, Cagalli couldn't help but remember what the doctor had told her when they had first arrived at the hospital. "That boy is very, very ill…"

Would he be right? Was her Athrun gone, lost forever?

"No," She refused to believe it. She would help him. She would help him become strong again. She would see to it that he got better no matter what that meant.

"Can you help me?" Athrun asked quietly, his eyes low and full of shame. He hated showing weakness. However, the fact that the world was spinning assured him that he would never make it out of the hospital under his own power. The energy he had exerted during his discussion with Dr. Moshi alone had exhausted him. "I don't think I can walk on my own."

"Of course," Cagalli smiled, blinking back tears. "Come on, we are taking you home."

**TBC**

I'm sorry if Athrun seems out of character. I'll patch him up a bit more in the last chapter and then… it's over! I'm sad and happy at the same time. I know, more sad moments – next chapter will be a little more upbeat and happier – I promise! OMG! I saw episodes 6-10 of GSD and it's amazing! I absolutely love it! Too bad I have to wait for another two months to see the next five episodes sighs .

I had no idea how much work writing fanfiction was until this – I have new appreciation for everyone else that does this! Good job everyone! Please review – I'm sorry if there are errors – I posted this late and was… well tired hehehe.

Until next time,

Krilyn

ladyathena11 I'm glad I only had one error before. Sadly, I know I'll have more in this chapter. I do apologize because I don't enjoy seeing mistakes but I so desperately wanted to post this hehe. I hope you liked it.

Kageharu Kaco: I got the Dr. Moshi idea for you! Thanks so much! I just through him in there but you gave me lots of good ideas for this guy… nasty doctor lol kidding anyway, thanks again! Congrats on your summer starting up

"…" : Thanks again for the wonderful review. It's sad sometimes when you work hard and nobody reviews . Your reviews keep this story going lol so thank u

Cari-Akira: No, Cagalli probably shouldn't have signed the paper but.. what could she do eh? I needed some baddies for this story which is why I chose unato, yuna and jibril. Really, I don't mind any of them… except maybe yuna – really annoying hehehe. More sad Cagalli/ Athrun moments – next chapter is happier one – I promise.

Slightly Sinister Sinestra: Yes, I'm sure Athrun is my favorite character (believe it or not). Thanks for sticking with this story to the end. You and three others reviewed every chapter and I love you guys for it. The next chapter, there is something I think you might like. Maybe not, but I tried hehe.


	21. Only a Shell

Hi everyone!

So sorry about the long delay. I've been very busy and haven't had time to finish this. It was a tough story to finish but I hope you like it. Thank for reading! And thank you for the lovely reviews! They meant a lot to me.

I wrote this up in one night because I had way too much energy. I was so excited to post it didn't really read it over too carefully so if there are mistakes…. I am sorry.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed or any references made to it. Maloby and the strange doctors are mine though.**

**Abhorrence**

**Chapter #5: A Shell of What Once Was**

It had been four weeks since Athrun Zala had returned to the home that he and Cagalli shared in Orb and despite the efforts of Cagalli and his friends, his condition had not improved. If anything, it had become worse.

Lying fully dressed on his bed, Athrun stared up blankly at his ceiling watching as the ceiling fan made slow circles, blowing cool air down upon him. A mid-summer heat wave had taken hold of the entire country, leaving its inhabitants to fight against its wraith. However, Athrun barely registered the heat nor had he really made any efforts to fight it.

Most of his days were spent lounging around the house, wondering aimlessly about or just laying on his bed or the family room sofa. Dr. Moshi and Dr. Forestin had cleared him on the conditions that he return for regular check ups and eat regularly and resume light exercises to get his strength up. Athrun, however, found he had neither the strength nor the motivation to do so. Just moving around the house made his head swim and after a short trip to the bathroom, he found that he had to sit down to recover and fend off the dizziness that always arose, threatening to claim control over him.

He figured it was due to the lack of food he had been eating which of course was his own fault. When Cagalli returned home from her work, she always prepared a wonderful meal but he would only poke at it. He couldn't help it – he just wasn't hungry. Only her threats of sending him back to the hospital kept him eating what little he did.

At first, Cagalli had been very cautious about letting Athrun roam around the house and had it not been for Kira's constant insisting, Cagalli probably never would have allowed him to leave his bed. Eventually though, everything became more relaxed.

There had only been one incident in which Athrun had fallen and that had been just shortly after his clearance from the hospital. Still very unsteady, Athrun had tried to walk down the stairs, despite the warning signals his body was sending him, to help Cagalli set the table in preparing for dinner, just as he had done everyday before his capture and he was almost successful. However, his left leg had given out on the fourth step from the floor and buckled, sending the young man tumbling down the last few steps and landing awkwardly on his side.

The embarrassment he had felt was by far much more painful than that radiating from his gut and when Cagalli had rushed out from the kitchen to see what had happened, Athrun found that he couldn't look her in the eye. Closing his eyes, he lowered his head in defeat as Cagalli carefully helped him up.

For the rest of that night, Athrun had remained silent, poking absently at his dinner with his fork until he was excused from the table. From that day on, Athrun rarely spoke, rarely smiled and rarely left the house. What reason did he have to leave? He'd been suspended from his job until further notice and just couldn't bring himself to meddle with mechanics as he had in the past.

It wasn't as though he hadn't tried to occupy himself with other things aside from his misery. He loved to read and had attempted to read a novel that Cagalli picked up for him from the library. Unfortunately, once he finished reading a chapter and put the book down to do something else, he found that when he returned to further his reading he couldn't remember what had happened in the previous chapter. His battered mind would not allow it. Instead, horrid flashbacks of what had happened to him would swim across his consciousness and he found he couldn't focus. He ended up re-reading the first few chapters several times before simply giving up and throwing the book away.

Physically, Athrun was recovering but his mental health had not improved at all.

What was perhaps even worse was that Athrun Zala was starting to give up, lose faith in that he would ever return to his normal self or even be able to take care of himself again. Before claiming sanctuary in his home, Athrun had tried to leave the house, get some fresh air and meet up with friends but every time he left his home, he found himself watching everyone around him with a cautious eye. His perception of the world had changed. If that wasn't bad enough, he even found himself looking upon Naturals with contempt and he hated himself for it. He didn't want to see people and he found he had become frighteningly uncomfortable around large crowds. Memories of strangers just coming up and grabbing him haunted his mind and it took all his will power to prevent from breaking out into an all out run whenever more than 6 people surrounded him at a time. Once, downtown, he had broken down and taken off in the middle of a crowd and in the process, accidentally knocked over a little boy who had been in his way. After that, Athrun decided that he would never leave the house alone again.

Of course, everyone was trying their best to be supportive and patient with him even though he could sense the growing frustration within Cagalli and his friends. Aside from Cagalli, Kira's patience was perhaps the most heavily tested of all. Being good friends, Athrun had often called Kira to talk but now, Athrun would call and five minutes later he would then call Kira a second time to ask if he had already called because he'd forgotten. He couldn't focus on what was going on anymore and he more often forgot what he had and had not done. Such behavior was beginning to irritate his friend and Athrun knew it. His solution to that little problem had been to stop using the phone altogether and he did just that.

"I am nothing but a burden to everybody now," Athrun sighed sadly and closed his eyes to prevent the tears in his eyes from escaping. "Nothing."

"Athrun!" Cagalli's voice called from behind his bedroom door. "Athrun are you there?"

"No," Athrun thought to himself bitterly as he sat up and rubbed the unshed tears from his eyes. This was unlike him. Self pity was not in his forte. "I'm gone, I've been gone for several weeks now."

"Yes?"

"You've got visitors, are you ready to go?"

"Uh?" Athrun frowned and for a moment, searched the back his mind literally begging it to provide him with an answer. What was Cagalli talking about? Where was he supposed to go?

"Who is it?"

There was an awkward pause and Athrun could sense the sadness building up on the other side of the door. He knew it hurt Cagalli deeply when he asked questions that he should know the answers to but there was nothing he could do about that and that knowledge was a painful burden to bear.

"Kira."

Kira? Athrun sighed and lethargically rolled off his bed and onto his feet. Staggering ever so slightly, he reached out for the wall for support. Had he made plans with Kira? He didn't remember making any.

"Big surprise." He thought to himself bitterly. "Recently you can't remember anything."

Opening his door, he tossed Cagalli a confused glance before carefully making his way towards the stairs. He held the railing tightly as he cautiously placed his left foot on the first step and had his right follow it obediently. He recalled a time when he could skip steps but that time was all but gone.

As he moved towards the main floor, he caught sight of his friend waiting patiently by the doorway. He was dressed in a sleeveless white T-shirt and shorts and Athrun couldn't help but notice his red face and the beads of sweat trickling down the back of his neck.

"Little warm outside?" He asked lightly as he reached the bottom of the stairs and smiled despite the uncertainty clearly displayed in his eyes.

"Oh, hey Athrun," Kira turned around and chuckled, sheepishly. His eyes slowly looked the younger man over, assessing him and his expression seemed to brighten as he took in the sight. Athrun seemed in better physical health than the last time he'd seen him. "Long time no see."

"Yeah, well…" Athrun lowered his eyes and shrugged. What could he say? "I've been a bit weary lately and resting."

Kira nodded, not really believing all of his friend's words. When Athrun had stopped calling him, he had grown concerned and had had Cagalli keep him updated with his friend's health. He was fully aware of Athrun's internal and emotional struggles.

"I don't remember where we are going," Athrun finally admitted bluntly and looked away, not wanting to see that all too familiar look of disappointment he had been constantly receiving. "I'm sorry."

"We are meeting Dearka and Yzak in ten minutes." Kira replied simply and motioned for Athrun to follow him. "Better hurry or else we will be late."

Athrun didn't move.

"I don't recall making plans." He frowned and stared questionably at his friend. "When did all this come together?"

For a moment, there was an awkward silence and Kira sighed and shook his head. His arms went slack at his sides and his cheerful expression suddenly dulled. "Yesterday," He answered quietly and tried to smile. "I called you."

Athrun felt his face pale and his heart clinch. 24 hours. It had been only 24 hours and he had completely forgotten… again. Frustration was gradually beginning to build up and he sighed heavily before bending over to put on his shoes. Waving goodbye to Cagalli, he nodded to Kira and the two of them left the house and hurried down towards the coffee shop.

It wasn't far since Cagalli and Athrun lived in town but with him still being a little awkward on his feet, they had to allow time for the delay. The streets were busy and Athrun found himself growing increasingly uncomfortable. Digging his hands deep into his pockets, he kept his head down, focusing on the ground while he shuffled along beside Kira. He didn't really feel up to travel and he certainly wasn't in the mood for coffee.

"Just keep walking," Athrun told himself as he trudged along the sidewalk. "No one will bother you if you just keep walking. It's all in your head… it's all in your head."

"So…." Kira grinned, desperate for conversation. He hated to see his friend in his current state, however, at the same time he was grateful. Things could have been much worse. "When do you go back to work?"

"I don't know," Athrun mumbled absently, not bothering to look up at his friend. "I don't know."

"Well, I'm sure it won't be long," Kira continued, unaffected by Athrun's clear disinterest in the subject of conversation. "I know for a fact that Cagalli really misses you wither her during the day and it will be good for you to get back into the swing of things."

"Maybe," Was Athrun's only response. He honestly hadn't thought about it. It was difficult to think about anything without receiving a painful headache now a days. The crowds pushed past them as they moved and Athrun quickly found that he was short of breath and the humidity in the air only added to his ragged breathing. Turning the corner, he stumbled slightly but quickly regained his footing before he could collapse to the ground.

Dizziness… the world was swaying from side to side slowly causing him to feel nauseous. "I'm going to drop down dead right here," He mentally decided. "And then all my problems will be solved."

"Are we almost there? He asked, desperately in need of rest. The heat was too much and his low energy levels only rendered his abilities to cope with the cruel weather.

"Almost," Kira pointed down to the end of the street at the small green and yellow café on the corner. He seemed to notice Athrun was ailing because he stopped and put took his friend by the shoulder, concerned. "We can rest for a little if you like," He told him carefully. He didn't want to offend Athrun but at the same time didn't want him to collapse from exhaustion either. The heat was brutally descending on them and he couldn't imagine how Athrun was taking it.

Athrun shook his head, stubbornly and urged his feet to keep moving, pulling away from Kira's grasp. He didn't want sympathy, he couldn't stand sympathy and recently, he had been getting a whole lot of it. "Let's go," He breathed. "We can rest when we get there."

From then on there was silence between the two friends. Kira's entire focus was on Athrun's well-being and Athrun's entire focus was on reaching the coffee shop before his legs gave in beneath him. Neither one had much to say. For Kira, Athrun was almost a stranger to him. The life and soul had drained completely from his friends green eyes and his expression was one of confusion and shame. It was as though all the energy and life that had once flowed through the veins of the young man had been drained, leaving him as nothing more than a shell, a broken empty lost soul.

Reaching the coffee shop, Athrun caught sight of Dearka and Yzak across the road. His expression etched into a frown when he saw that they were busy arguing with a policeman. The wind carried their conversation and Athrun couldn't resist a small smile when he heard Yzak proclaim the absurdity that he should be ticketed for illegal parking.

Kira and Athrun exchanged knowing glances before Kira sighed and motioned towards the café. "Go save us a seat – I'm going to see what nonsense they've managed to get involved in this time."

Nodding, Athrun slipped into the coffee shop, somewhat relieved when he was met with a blast of fresh, cool air. At that moment, he thanked the heavens for air conditioning. As he moved, he bumped into a short man whose face was concealed by a large hat. Judging from his slumped posture and boney figure, Athrun guessed that he was much older than himself. He found it strange that the man was wearing a trench coat, given the weather, but thought little more of it.

He chose a table that seated four in the far corner of the small café and sat down. It felt good to rest his tired body again and he let out a quick sigh of relief before motioning for the nearby waitress.

Athrun could hear people taking, surrounding him but he didn't make sense of the words they were saying. It was all the same. In one ear and out the other. Nothing really stuck in his mind… not anymore anyway.

"What can I get you, Sir?" A tall, well-built young woman smiled politely at him as she stepped up beside him. "Are you expecting more to arrive?"

"There's four of us," Athrun told her and shot a quick glance over to the next table to see what the couple beside him were drinking. Ice tea. He shrugged – Ice tea was fine. It didn't really matter to him. "I'll have an ice tea, thanks."

"Very well," The waitress scribbled it down on her notepad. "Separate bills?"

Athrun nodded.

"Two dollars, please."

As usual, Athrun reached into his back pocket to pull out his wallet and pay. As he felt around his pocket, his complexion grew pale. It wasn't there. "Impossible," His mind screamed. "I know I had it. I always have it with me…"

He felt sweat gathering on his brow from embarrassment as he noticed the unimpressed glare he was receiving from the waitress. Frantically, he tried his other pockets, thinking that he may have put his wallet in one of them, but alas he found nothing.

"Sir?"

Athrun swallowed. "I… um… I…"

"Hey there little missy," A voice suddenly called, causing Athrun to jump with a start. Spinning around, he was shocked to see the old man he had bumped into earlier reach out and pull out a small, leather wallet from his front, coat pocket. It was _his_ wallet! "I'll pay for this'er lad and I'll have lemonade. It's on me."

Athrun's jaw dropped as the stranger pulled out a five dollar bill from his wallet and handed it to the waitress. Looking from the waitress to the man then back to the waitress, Athrun found that his lips were moving but he was beyond speech.

The waitress flashed the elder a peculiar stare before accepting the money and scuttling off behind the counter to fix there drinks.

Only when the old man sat down across from him did Athrun finally regain his voice. "You… you…"

"Long time no see, laddy," The old man smirked. "Glad to see yer in reasonable health." Casually, he slid the wallet across the table and as Athrun scrambled to grab it, the wallet landed in his lap.

Hastily, Athrun jammed it back into his pocket and straightened. "How did you…"

Maloby winked. "You should watch yerself a little more careful like, kid. Yer an easy target for the likes of me though… ya don't carry much on ya. Such a shame."

Athrun found himself smiling. "You escaped then." He stated.

"I did," Maloby agreed. "Friend of yers helped me out. Kiwi I think his name was. Anyway, had plans to make my way up to the PLANTS but the ship gone and left without me. Didn't expect to bump into you though. Must say, you're looking much better."

"Kira," Athrun corrected and flushed. At that moment, the same waitress chose to bring them their drinks. Both thanked her before returning to their previous conversation.

"How yea fairing?" Maloby's question was sincere as he sipped on the straw to his lemonade.

How was he 'fairing?' Athrun almost spit up his ice tea as a bitter laugh threatened to leave his throat. He couldn't sleep, was more than a little depressed, had become increasingly paranoid and felt utterly useless to everyone. Other than that he was fine. He couldn't be happier! He was so happy that sometimes he wished he could just die. He knew that was selfish but couldn't help it.

"A lot has changed," Athrun admitted somewhat reluctantly and sighed. "I have to go to therapy sessions and meet with a man who pretends to understand what I went through. But how can he understand? How can anyone possible understand what it was like?"

Maloby just listened, silently urging Athrun to continue.

"I…" Athrun bit his lip and lowered his eyes. "I find myself questioning everything and everyone around me and Naturals… I… I think I hate them."

The old man's eyes raised and Athrun shuddered.

"I don't want to," Athrun added quickly. "I can't help it. I see them here in Orb and I see _him._" He felt his shoulders slump. He couldn't understand why he felt the way he did or why he couldn't control the way he felt. He knew that to hate a race because of the doings of a few was wrong but his mind couldn't change the feelings the burned in his heart. "If I ever told anyone that they would probably have me put away. Dr. Moshi said himself that he thought I was dangerous."

"Dr. Moshi?"

"My therapist." Athrun explained.

"Hmmm," Maloby leaned back, appearing thoughtful. "What yer feeling is pretty normal. Yer justified in hatin' them fer what they gone and done to yea. Abhorrence is a powerful feeling and it ain't easy to overlook it."

"I know," Athrun muttered lowly. "I think I can now understand why it is so hard for Cagalli and the others to establish peace in this world. You can't really fight hatred…not with a bullet or a mobile suit..."

Maloby leaned forward, revealing his set of stained, yellow teeth. "Lemmie tell ya something lad. I ain't like them doctors yer seeing. I understand what yer feeling and why. I won't tell you to get over it or try to move on because ya can't really do that can ya?"

Athrun shook his head. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Just keep livin," Maloby announced and took another sip of lemonade. He seemed unsatisfied with the straw, however, and tossed it to the floor. He then took a long swig and hiccupped before turning back to Athrun. "If yea let yer feelings for Jibril and his cronies turn yea into something yea ain't then you've gone and done what they wanted. You've become part of the problem. Yer gonna have to fight those feelings and with time, they will fade."

Athrun considered his words and nodded. Maloby understood him. He had been there with him when everything had happened to him and it felt good to talk to someone who actually had a sense of what he was dealing with. "Thanks, Maloby."

"Naw, thank you for the drink," Maloby chuckled and held it up as if to toast Athrun. "Real thoughtful of yea."

Laughing softly, Athrun heard a soft bell go off, indicating that someone had stepped into the café. He looked up and saw that Kira, Dearka and Yzak had just entered and were scanning the premises for him. Athrun turned back to Maloby and frowned when he noticed that the old man was starting to rise.

"Are you leaving?"

"Don't fret none," Maloby replied. "I'll be seeing ya around. Besides, they seem to want to chat with you. Popular person you seem to be."

Athrun opened his mouth to reply but Maloby didn't give him the opportunity. As quickly as he had come, the elder took his leave and hurried past Dearka, Kira and Yzak. In doing so, he bumped into Yzak but the silver-haired boy didn't seem to notice.

"Who was that?" Dearka asked as he flopped down beside Athrun and removed his sunglasses.

"Just a friend," Athrun replied and watched as Kira and Yzak sat down across form him. Again, the waitress came over and took their orders. She seemed a little confused but chose not to inquire into the sudden disappearance of the old man. When she asked for payment Kira and Dearka both revealed their wallets and paid her.

Yzak, however, seemed to having trouble.

An angry flush started around his neck and rapidly spread up his face as he found he couldn't find his wallet. Furious, he leapt to his feet and threw his hands up in the air. "What the hell? Dearka! What did you do with my wallet?"

"Me?" Dearka scowled. "Nothing!"

"This isn't funny!" Yzak sneered and motioned for Dearka to hand over his wallet. "I know you, this is one of your lousy jokes!"

Athrun shook his head as Kira nervously paid for Yzak drinks while the two ZAFT soldiers continued to bicker about who had lost the wallet. Deep down, he knew that Maloby was right in what he had said. Despite what had happened, he couldn't let the events of the past control him. He couldn't let Jibril win. He was stronger than that.

The inner demons that his capture had left behind would continue to haunt him but Athrun vowed that day to fight and resist. If peace was to ever become a reality, people would have to put aside their feelings of bitterness, hurt and hatred and Athrun knew that he too would have to do the same. Abhorrence was a powerful foe but it could be defeated. In time, Athrun swore that he would be victorious and overcome the scars that his capture had left. Things would never be as they had been prior to his imprisonment nor did he expect them to. That would be impossible.

Eventually, he would come to grips with what had happened to him and that brought a certain amount of satisfaction to his slowly healing heat and soul.

**The End.**

I hope you liked it! I know I left it open ended but I did that so if I ever get around to writing a sequel to this I could. That is my first story done. I hope you liked it!

I started another one that will be significantly shorter but I hope you'll take a look at it just the same and tell me what you think. Well, it's bee a pleasure being able to share my story with you and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Until next time,

Krilyn

**KrystalB2003** Thanks for compliments. I haven't seen Destiny yet so I can't use too many of its characters since I don't know them very well. Thanks again!

"…" I always have time for reviews. Thanks for being one of my regular reviewers. It made me feel like my work was valued. hugs Hopefully I'll see you around on Yeah, I wanted to murder some characters to but well… I couldn't… maybe next time? Thanks for reviewing almost every chapter and the long reviews were wonderful! hugs

**Genny-chan**: Yzak's card… I liked it too… heheheh

**Cari-Akira:**Thank you for all your long and in-depth reviews. they were so much fun to read. it means a lot to me. thank you! hugs

**Slightly Sinister Sinestra**: Hey! Thanks so much for all of your reviews. I hoped you liked Maloby – I brought him back just for you. Lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story. I'll try to review u'r new chapter tonight. I haven't had a chance to read it yet… but you updated! YAY!

**daisukiasu'n'caga** Well, Athrun is better but he won't be perfectly back together… it'd be kinda hard for that to happen right? But he IS better and will get better too.. no worries

**Kageharu Kaco**: Cagalli has a MS? NO WAY! Hehe, sorry bout that… yea, don't spoil it for me. Vol 3 comes out soon so I'm gonna go rent it. Anyway, thanks for all u'r nice reviews. Hopefully I'll see you again as well on


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